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  1. I've been incontinent for decades. Along the way I've picked up on some things that may help others. Got some of your own? Add them in. -A thick diaper that's done its job is WAY less noticeable than a thin one that's leaked. -Black pants hide wet spots and make it harder to see your diaper outline. -Plastic backed diapers contain smells the best, and tend to sag much less than cloth. -A diaper cover will help you notice any leaks before a wet spot appears. -A PUL diaper cover will also silence most plastic diapers. -Premium/thick diapers actually cost less "per day" than thin ones. Mostly because you'll need changing less often, and will go through fewer diapers each day. -Remove your diapers from their packaging for at least a week before needing them. They come compressed, and allowing them to expand some means they will absorb and wick much better when used. -Fold the diaper in half length-wise. This will create a center channel that help with absorption and also removes the folds from packaging. -When you do get a good fit, try to memorize where the tapes ended up at. And next time put the tapes in that same spot. No more worrying about getting a good fit, and no more having to readjust. -When putting on a diaper, avoid touching or rubbing where the tapes should end up at. Otherwise you're depositing some of the oil on your hands to that spot, which will weaken the tape stickiness. Also, once stuck on, give them a quick rub. This will help improve their grip and prevent the tapes from popping off later. -Staying well hydrated means your pee will smell much less. -Wear one pant size larger, with a comfort or relaxed fit, and you'll be able to hide your diaper much better. -People generally don't stare at your crotch, and genrally won't notice your diaper as much as you think. -And finally, wearing a diaper is neither illegal nor immoral. No matter your reason. You really can wear them without worrying of being caught or found out. And if you are, just say it's personal and you don't want to talk about it. No explanations or reasons are necessary on your part (unless you want to).
    5 points
  2. That was said by the x-men Gambit, shortly before he was accused of murdering the president, and all heck broke loose. A very few may recognize my old name on daily diapers, Baby Brian. And why I hadn't been around there. That was a long time ago though, and is not something I'll be getting into here. So starting anew, call me Slomo. It's my gamer tag, given to me by a cousin when I first played Lazer tag. I had a slow momentum at first, but soon caught on how to play it, and at some point it was like everyone else was playing in slow motion to me. So it's a double entranda, Slo-mo. Now about me: I was injured in a bad car wreck about 25 years ago, while in the USMC. Among things, I had spinal bruising at my L5-S1. A seemingly magic spot for causing urinary and/or bowel problems for many. I immediately developed severe urge incontinence, along with a slowly worsening neurogenic dyssynergia sphincter (more on that later). At the recommendation from my doctor, I started wearing a diaper while I was still in. Mostly because I wasn't very mobile and couldn't make it to the restroom in time. Still, I fought having to wear them, as I've also been a life-long ABDL. I reasoned since I loved diapers that I was just making an excuse to wear them, and didn't actually need them. It took me a few years of close calls, wet pants, and embarrassment before I was discharged and finally embraced them. Over the next decade my dyssynergia got worse. Basically my sphincter control wires were crossed. Whenever i tried to relax to pee, my muscle would clamp down instead. It got really painful due to my urgency, so I'd push and strain past my own sphincter just to pee. I went from one urologist to another for help. But I couldn't finish their urodynamics test, and pee past the catheter at the end. So none of them believed me. I once even spent a straight 7 months with an indwelling catheter. Just to alleviate the pain and let my kidneys heal. I still ended up with painful hemorrhoids, a bleeding anal fissure, and one really bad kidney stone. Eventually I met a urologist at my local Mayo Clinic, who took me for my word first- then went about verifying it. I was almost immediately put in for a sphincterotomy surgery. Then another, and a bunch more, all about every 3-4 months apart. All just to try and open my external and internal sphincters. Along the way I developed a stricture, so it was more surgeries for that too. In the end, I had gone through 15 surgeries! My heart stopped during one, I had a suprapubic catheter (temporary bypass through the abdomen and into the bladder for a other, had a TURP, then full prostrate removal, and had an inch of my urethra removed. Finally though I'm stable, and my bladder no longer painfully fills. I'm now functionally urinary incontinent, and constantly dripping. I've learned quite a lot along the way too. So just ask me, I might already have an answer for you.
    5 points
  3. i never got good support nor did they help with anything nor any action was ever taken to help me so i still wake up in a soaked bed multible times a week. so my message to parents is please help your kid! and i seriously wish i had better parents! (advice for me is welcome)
    4 points
  4. @Dandelion Apologies for the delayed response. I have limits on how much time I can spend on this.... Before it started, I had 10 occurrences between my 7th and 13th birthday, and as a teenager there were two times (packing for a retreat and packing to go off to college) where the thought crossed my mind "What if I wet the bed?", as I never understood why on those 10 times. Later as an adult my second water bed taught me I was vulnerable to certain types of sudden temperature changes causing an urge in my sleep (that went unrecognized), so the main initial thoughts were something was wrong as I hit three times the first night and twice each night the rest of the first week. Called the doctor after the first or second night, but he wasn't concerned based on my past history. However I knew something had changed -- during the previous events it only would happen once in a given night... When it continued after getting off the medications, I noticed a short while later that how I "sensed" things had shifted for the second time that I noticed in my life. (Up until Covid-19, I haven't heard doctors concerned about how a person "senses" things - touch, smell, pain, etc. I've known since elementary school I was different from "normal" in this area.) And that change switch what was occasional nocturia into occasional nocturnal enuresis..... I spent the next year and a half researching information available at the local university hospital library trying to find more - but basically only finding information on (a) with women who I felt had small bladder capacities, and studies of youth (higher percent boys) trying to overcome the problem I was now having... And didn't find a solution that worked.... It did wake up the young boy in me.... And I did find the "little boy" in me never learned to dislike diapers. The "big boy" in me wants out of them, but doesn't know how.... The adult / engineer in me understand my control system and bladder is screwed up... and at this point accepts what is, Now, I've added the "fun" of early onset BPH to the mix. My maximum functional bladder capacity is reduced, and if I stay properly hydrated and get a good night's sleep, I'm going to have a wet diaper in the morning.... And I've accepted that.... Yes there are psychological items that go with that.... Best wishes on dealing with your issues.
    4 points
  5. @John Davis Usually for me, urine order isn't a problem, unless of course I have oversaturated my diapers, or for some reason I stay in the same diaper with the same cover for many hours. if you're in a diaper for 6 to 8 hours, and you keep on using it, the likelihood of urine odor being detected goes up. What I've learned from experience is that you can use powder all over the place, but you have to be careful Because when you use powder, that particular tau will will cake and cause a whole bunch of problems for your skin, so if you end up with wetness in the area of what you will be cleaning up will be Clods of powder, And that would be a mess to clean up, So you'd have to lightly use the powder and then rub it in really well, lest you end up with a bunch of mess that you have to clean up when you end up wiping down. Secondarily, when you end up with need to change, and you keep using the diaper, likelihood goes up that it begins to smell, when you take off a diaper and you're not aware of it, I can tell you that if you do not have enough liquid in your system or enough hydration, the urine smell can be overpowering, and can smell like very very very pungent or strong ammonia. luckily ammonia doesn't bother me too much, but if I were to get a bottle of ammonia and open it up I would be allergic to that. Yes, I have my diaper covers, which are really awesome, and they help me keep the smell and mess to a minimum as much as possible. I can't say enough that plastic pants are necessary, regardless of what diaper you wear, because it keeps everything within the diaper or within the plastic pants, and it also keeps the diaper in position, just like a onesie would if somebody was wearing one. The only problem is when you take a onesie offer you take the pants off, Up having it sad because you're trying to hold up something close to you, and when the diaper can expand it drops when you try to take it off, and I mean take off the onesie the diaper drops. This is a normal part of wearing diapers, the more you put in the diaper, the lower droops, but that's why you have to have good diapers, cause if you don't have good diapers you end up with a humongous leak Then you end up with a severe case of diaper rash and then it'll be a pain in the neck to clean up, and it can be very very painful If you let the rash go too long, not even the proper spray cleaner will help you, because that would even hurt you even more. It's always a good idea however not to sit in a wet diaper for two too long, I can understand that people might wanna sit in a wet diaper, and I support that, but be careful that you're not sitting in a diaper too long, because the urine and the ammonia can cause issues And it also causes a problem because what is touching you needs to be eliminated. Brian
    4 points
  6. Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing. Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough. So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be. When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either. In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup. Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.
    4 points
  7. Our sponsor has a next-gen diaper coming out this week, the new BeDry briefs. 7500ml capacity and odor control at less than $2 a diaper! I ordered some to try. Here's the link if you want to as well: https://incontroldiapers.com/incontrol-bedry-premium-incontinence-briefs/?utm_source=incontsite&utm_medium=banner&utm_campaign=Launch&utm_id=BeDry
    3 points
  8. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas, what ever you are doing A clean one, as well. I can't wait to hear all about it (what you all got up to, I mean). I may do a thread in the new year (or someone else can) where we can all share what gifts we got etc
    3 points
  9. CrochetGirl, I think you already have found the solution to living with bowel incontinence - prior planning and preparation. Regrettably, it takes good planning and preparation - and that requires a significant amount of time, as you already have learned. Unfortunately, we tend to lose spontaneity. You are impressively well organized and I agree with everything you are doing. Like you, I have a formal daily bowel program. I have neurogenic bowel due to an old accident and am seen by a SCI Rehab clinic in addition to gastroenterologists, etc. Unlike you, I have very few accidents as I self-administer old fashioned enemas every morning. These are traditional soapsuds or saline enemas from a hanging rubber enema bag, not the chemical Fleets enemas. I will emphasize that an empty bowel cannot have an accident. Once done I can (almost) forget about bowel problems until the following morning. I would rather do this at home than risk a bowel accident in public. I also will note that this is by prescription by my SCI docs and with the approval of my gastroenterologists. Be good to yourself. By that I mean consciously managing your emotional health. Perhaps half the battle to manage incontinence is emotional. Incontinence (and particularly bowel incontinence) causes stress and the stress can increase the incontinence. It is a vicious cycle. Give yourself a break, ie., pamper yourself with something relaxing or enjoyable. It does get better. With time we adapt better to the necessities of living with bowel incontinence. Many things just become "normal" like my diapers just becoming my underwear - not a big deal. Please continue to talk with us. Just talking can be helpful. I am sure you will hear from others here with similar issues. Best wishes, --John
    3 points
  10. I have found that the store brand at Cabelas that are relaxed fit work really well over my diapers. https://www.cabelas.com/shop/en/redhead-8-pocket-hiker-shorts-for-men
    3 points
  11. Hello. We are Archer and Lucy. We are both incontinent. We both served in the military but have different journeys to our IC. Mine if from my military service and hers is from a broken pelvis from child birth. It’s been a wild coincidence of paired disability but we live regular adult lives with now 4 kids. we are here to help.
    3 points
  12. It amazes me how incredibly diverse and differently shaped everyone's bodies are. A diaper that's a guaranteed fail for one person will be a guarantee win for the next person. Though unfortunately for anyone starting out that means a LOT of trial and error finding the right diaper.
    3 points
  13. I just hope they aren't using store bought diapers. That stuff should never be normal.
    3 points
  14. Does community college while living at my own apartment count? That was also decades ago, and about 1-2 years after I became incontinent. I was still trying to figure out what diapers actually worked, and back then there weren't many options. So I was predominantly using Attends 10 with wasitbands, but had urge incontinence and would flood my diapers. All too often I'd be sitting down in class and would leak. If it wasn't too bad I'd just stay seated till most everyone had left. Embarrassment aside, a few professors expressed sympathy, and everyone else didn't notice or didn't care. I'd then carry my bag to cover up as much as I could. I also kept a spare diaper in my bag if changing was needed, or a beeline home was a better option. And this was also when I figured out black pants were always needed. At some point I started adding a booster pad too. At first it was a maxipad, but then I found baby diapers worked better and cheaper. Leaks still happened at times, but not as bad. They were always just delt with as best as I could. Unfortunately, diaper covers worn over disposables weren't even a thing back then. Neither were leak guards, sap, or any of the major improvements we now have. So as one can imagine I kept myself at a social distance from others, and didn't attempt to make any new friends.
    3 points
  15. Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom. First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year. Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen. Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom. Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage. My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose. Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly. And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help. If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long. Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago. Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.
    3 points
  16. O i always called them Diapers and you are right about it being clear on your needs .. but after she told me thats what they have to call them i didnt correct them.. the same nurse looked at one of my better drys i had in my bag and commented on how much better they are then what the hospital uses
    3 points
  17. I think that very few people will hear it, even fewer will recognize the sound, and even fewer will say something to you.
    3 points
  18. I am very thankful for my diapers. But, it takes a lot of my time to plan, order, and inventory all my incontinence-related supplies. A con is all the heavy diaper trash that needs to be disposed. --John
    3 points
  19. After you switch to 24/7, your body will start adapting to the added heat retention down there. It took me a few years, but eventually it stopped feeling normally hot and sweaty. Beore that happens, make sure you are completely drying out down there at least once per day. Use rash creams and/or powders after that too. And consider using a diaper that will only last 4-6 hours during 5he day so you'll be changing more often.
    3 points
  20. For me, elastic waistbands are helpful. They make sure my diaper stays snug without getting too tight, and also help the diaper conform to my body shape. Of which helps contain any smells. They also help by allowing me to pull down the diaper for sitting on the toilet, then pull them back up into place. All without having to redo the tapes. I continuously dribble and can also attest to the standing leak guards helping, a lot. They reduce leaks around my legs, and really help to reduce leaks while sleeping on my side. I feel the premium diapers do have enough capacity and padding to take multiple floodings or all day dribbling for 12 hours (or more), so I'd say they are good where they're at. A few even go way beyond what's needed, but they're clearly for those who want to feel the bulk between their legs. Not really aimed or priced at those who want a diaper that will last through a work day. Wetess indicators are a waste. ANY decent caregiver will be able to spot a diaper that needs changing from across the room. Or smell it. And we certainly don't need them for ourselves. Plus, they only indicate when when the diaper has been first used, not when it's nearing any sort of capacity. So they don't even do any good. Indicators need to be left off. Tapes and plastic backing material could definitely be better and stronger. It's ok enough as is, bu5 just barely. I'd love to see getting rid of second chance tapes AND without needing a too-small tape landing zone. Three tapes per side would also be a big improvement. Though I'm sure all of that would mean more expensive diapers, which almost nobody wants. So that isn't likely to happen. You did overlook colors and prints though. While completely secondary to their function, I see plenty of request for more colors (especially blue or light blue), and non-babyish prints. Personally I like Crinklz though.
    3 points
  21. Personally, I find more comfort in a diaper that is thicker, or to you point fluffier. While the thin can be more discrete, I often times find that it takes a second for the firmly compressed padding to be ready to absorb everything I’m throwing at it. Fluffier diapers like Northshore MegaMax leave me with no fears of leaks and when dry are honestly quite discrete! cheers
    3 points
  22. @emily1890 so do I! I figure that with all the things that I've had to deal with through my through my life, wearing diapers is like the lowest worry on the totem pole. I understand that people may find wearing diaper strange if they're not used to it themselves, but if you're disabled like me and you have friends that have worn diapers, or do wear diapers, to them it's normal and it shouldn't be a problem, but sometimes even in the best of circumstances people will have to use their diapers And sometimes that means they will have to do a bowel movement, and sometimes that happens in places that you don't expect it, because you can't help it! Since my doctor was the one who helped me with my incontinence, he is fully aware of what is going on and fully supportive. when you end up dealing with as much stress as I have dealt with, you need something to help you with your stress, and part of my problem is I worry about things that I shouldn't worry about, and that can be a problem sometimes. wearing diapers is making it a lot easier for me because I don't have to fight my body and I don't have to worry if I release. I've only had a situation where I've had to use my diaper to its fullest on about four different occasions, but each time it does take time to clean up the mess afterwards. I'm glad that most medical professionals don't have a problem with someone wearing diapers, but it kinda irks me that a urologist would be the one telling you to get help so you don't have to wear diapers, or trying to force you out of diapers. That is not what a urologist is supposed to do! they're supposed to help you, giving you advice is one thing, wanting you out of diapers? That's something that you as a user make the determination of about, and a doctor should not be forcing you. there are people that also wear diapers because they don't have any control at all, so trying to get them out of diapers would be an exercise silliness, and why should anyone wearing diapers want to get out of them If that is what they're using and they're comfortable doing it. the idea is that you want wearing diapers to be as normal for the person wearing them as people where. That's basically what it is: an underwear choice, sometimes not by choice sometimes by choice. Brian
    3 points
  23. My situation is different from others, but due to other side effects of my chronic illness, I am able to swim during my pool’s “therapy hour” so I have tried many different adult swim diapers. My favorite is the Gabby’s Swim Diaper, it just fits me really well and I like how the Velcro strap on the front does not catch on my swimsuit: https://www.mylilmiracle.com/products/gabbys-adult-swim-diaper?variant=32070088360071 My second favorite is the Splash About Shorts. They are snug, comfortable, and have nice leg and waist seals: https://www.splashabout.com/splash-shorts-adult-black.html I really wanted to like the SoSecure, but they just don’t fit me as well as the two swim diapers listed above. But they are popular and as those above me have mentioned, definitely worth a try! Yes I have had accidents while in the pool. Yes it’s humiliating and yes people have noticed. But the good news is, no one has ever said anything to me (probably because almost everyone else swimming during the hour is also wearing swim diapers). My swim diapers have always contained my bowel accidents… Well maybe not always contained, but I have never had fecal matter escape into the pool. If I do leak, it usually creeps out the leg seals once I get out and start walking to the locker room. Anyways, good luck with your search! Trial by fire is sometimes the only way to truly learn 🙃
    3 points
  24. Definitely see that point, but some of the landing zone diapers have been a huge help to me. The Incontrol diapers are fantastic. Yes, I still struggle with the bottom tape and comfort, but the features they have and capacity has allowed me to have more ease of use, and freedom to change when it's convenient. I also have noticed I use fewer of them, and save money. I'd like to point out that i don't work for them, I just really appreciate their products. 😁 I think it's awesome they sponsored this site.
    3 points
  25. Oops, posted that last reply in the wrong spot. The best diapers are all going to be plastic backed. You'll want a higher rise in the back and front, closer to your actual waist line (near the belly button). This way you'll get a better seal around the top, and even if it's a lot you won't have to worry about leaks over the top. You'll also want tall standing leak guards, with a snug fit all the way around your legs. My opinion, but Betterdry (or any of their Crinklz variations) fits that bill the best. Everyone's body shape is different though, so you're best off getting samples or a single bag from several different places. Test them under several different conditions, and narrow down what really works best for you.
    3 points
  26. I call them diapers regardless of what the medical community thinks
    3 points
  27. I can also attest to this. IF you are not well hydrated then you absolutely can (and probably will) smell bad after just 8 hours. Even when using a diaper that can last double. Stay well hydrated* and you likely won't start smelling anything untill 12+ hours in that same diaper. * The World Heath Organization states all adults should start with drinking 2 liters of water per day. AND increasing that amount based on weight, activity level and weather conditions. Of note: Water poisoning by over hydrating is also a thing. Though you'd have to drink 2+ liters of it in under an hour. Or something like 24 liters in one day. Which most normal people couldn't ever come close to.
    3 points
  28. Z, I think "just incontinent" is enough for all of us.😇 --John
    3 points
  29. I thought I'd add my own diagnosis here too. Though it's more like a fraught journey to getting one. Sorry, it's a long story. First off, I'm convinced that "OAB" is urologist code for "we recognize something is going on with your urine retention and/bladder, but we don't know what. So, let's throw pills at it and see if it makes you go away". Never settle for an OAB diagnosis, or more pills, it does nothing for you. So I started off with a major auto accident that put me into a wheelchair for 3 months and then a long leg cast for 3 more. I found I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, so my urologist said it was just my limited mobility. Official diagnosis: functional incontinence related to mobility. Nothing to worry about or look into, and that I should manage with diapers for the time being. About 6 month later my mobility slightly returned, yet I was still having problems making it in time. A new urologist, and I got a new diagnosis of OAB. And began trying a different pill every 3-6 months. I was also subjected to multiple urological diagnosis tests. Of note here: this test has you empty you bladder and measures output rate and volume. Then they put a catheter in you, and slowly fill our bladder. You call out when you feel it and again when full. Then they have you pee past the catheter as much as possible to measure pressure, rate and volume. Me though, i could never pee past the catheter so that always invalidated the test. All this occured during at least another 5-7 years. I moved, twice, so add another new urologist each time, but no actual changes. And had an insurance change too, so more of the same yet again. Eventually I was fed up with the non-support I was getting and switched urologists- yet again. This doctor actually talked to me to come up with a new diagnosis, but also made sure to include another diagnosis test- which i again failed for results. New diagnosis, Severe Urge incontinence. Followed up by even more pills every 3-6 months. Uuugh. Another point here, with all the pills. I found if I refused any more pills then every single urologist would get stuck on that one pill. Likely thinking it "would work" if only I gave it a real try. They'd be so hung up on that, they couldn't look past it and move on to something else. So, after many refusals I found it was faster and easier to just take them and prove they don't work, or worse ad bad side effects. Eventually, after 18 plus years I landed at the Mayo Clinic in Florida. Finally I had found a urologist who would listen to me once again. He deduced the reason why I failed the test was two parts. First the catheter used in the tests was too big for me. And second I was experiencing too much pain to just bear through it. So, one strong pain pill before hand, and a child's size 8fr catheter and I barely got through it. My internal bladder pressure was literally off their normal chart space. In fact, it registered 3-4x higher. New diagnosis, Sever Urge Incontince coupled with a Neurogenic Dyssynergia Sphincter (basically, my muscle wiring was crossed and instead of relaxing to pee my muscles was clamping down instead). Gee, go figure. But FINALLY, a proper diagnosis. From there we then determing my sphincter had to be bypassed, and my bladder couldn't be allowed to fill. That was the only way to alleviate both diagnosis, and that no pill would have ever helped me. He was concerned this would make me incontinent though, and hesitated. Up until I pointed out I had been incontinent, and needed diapers, for the previous 18 years. The surgery would though alleviate my inability pee, completely remove my painful urges, and greatly improve my quality of life. I was then scheduled for what would be the first of 15 surgeries to get me there. In the end it took me out 20 years to get the right diagnosis, AND to get me properly treated. So if you've read this far, my advice is DO NOT SETTLE, not for an OAB diagnosis, not for more pills, and definitely not another quack urologist who isn't even willing to spend the time and listen to you.
    3 points
  30. Don't forget about wearing rubber pants. They are less common nowadays but should supplement "plastic" pants in the wardrobe of anyone who is bowel incontinent. I will stress that I do not mean rubber pants as a fetish item. Rubber is better at containing odor, particularly fecal odor, than plastic pants (of a similar thickness).😀 Often I wear either rubber pants or rubber bloomers during periods when I think I may be at a greater risk of a bowel accident. In such instances I wear rubber pants over a pair of plastic pants. This gives me a "second line of defense" against a fecal leak and, if I experience a bowel accident, it (hopefully) protects the rubber garment from being soiled. Why bloomers? The legs on bloomers come down the thighs below plastic pants. That helps to catch leaks. It also is easy to change where the legs of the bloomers make contact to avoid skin irritation. I always hand-wash my rubber pants and hang them to air dry. They have lasted a very long time. --John
    3 points
  31. This is just a notice: I posted this again because I tried to edit it because I gotten something, And apparently the post had already been posted, because I had clicked the post button when I wasn't finished. I go back into edit it and I'm able to edit it for only a few more minutes, where it says that the post can no longer be edited, and I'm not sure if this is something that @Incont May have to look into because that is really strange I've never had it set where you couldn't edit a post after a certain time limit. Usually you can edit it as many times as you need, but I just wanted to bring it to his attention. rather than trying to lose the pole entire post, I posted again in its complete form, perhaps Mike can take a look and see if there's a problem with the way the settings have been set, I don't think daily diapers act like this, so I was just curious if the settings may be a tad bit different over here than over there. Brian In my mind, a stigma is simply something that is put in your mind when you are a kid. You end up having the ability to live your life as a young child and do whatever you do, and you use your diapers as normal. it is normal for a little kid to wear diapers and use them, it is quite normal for them to wet themselves mess themselves and to want to take their diapers off and run sometimes. There is no stigma attached with wearing diapers when you're a kid that you need them, Because you have people that support it, and you have people that understand it. When you deal with potty training, you end up gaining the need a potty train, if possible. some people take longer to train than others, and for those, a stigma could develop because somebody thinks that they're not trying hard enough, and they're putting these ideas in people's heads that they're not doing something that they should. They're using a diaper when they should be using the toilet, or their wetting their beds and should be using the toilet. These stigmas are based on what our parents think is appropriate based on our age and our ability. parents want us to be out of diapers as quickly as possible, so they don't have to deal with having to change them or purchase them, and sometimes kids don't quickly train, or they try to train, and they end up back in diapers for longer period of time, until they are ready. you have to be physically emotionally psychologically ready to be able to do it, otherwise our parents asking us to train is like asking me to give Mikey $1,000,000! I wish I could do it, but that's impossible! a kid has to be ready to be able to handle the situation, and that requires his body to be ready in his mental maturity must be ready to do it. if the kid doesn't have that ability, they're not gonna be successful, and sometimes even when they try, they fail. Stigma is based on other people's opinion as to what the norm should be for somebody that is say 4-5 or six years old. somebody sets the norm that says 5 year old kids don't wear diapers or kids don't wear diapers after so much time, and they go to school, so the first thing they wanna do is train you. And if you're having trouble training, that can be something that can be detrimental to the kid because they because they think there's something wrong with them, when in reality all it is is maybe their bladders are smaller and they need to grow, or maybe they're having trouble holding whatever they're trying to hold, before they get to the bathroom. You can do a lot of different things like cut the water, cut the soda, cut the caffeine, or do other things to help you at night when you're a kid, but if you are a guy or a young lady that needs to use the bathroom, it's going to happen, even I have made a mistake in what the bed a few times myself, but it isn't for lack of trying, And I can tell you from experience, that sometimes you miss, sometimes you don't hit the target, and you make a mess and all you do is resign yourself to the fact that you just peed yourself, or peed all over the floor. that can give you another stigma like you failed. I can also tell you from experience that potty training is difficult for some people, impossible for very few, But there is a possibility that that may be a possibility for people who have medical and have to wear diapers. For me I was trained early, but I was always prepared in case I had to use the bathroom, because my parents knew that my disability may end up precluding me from getting to the toilet on time, so they were always around to help me if I wanted to get there quickly, because my mom was saying to me to me that she would rather get me there fast, and have me not get hurt rather than having me worry about making a mess, because a mess can be cleaned up, but broken bones or other problems are harder to deal with. If you have people that support you like I said in my earlier post, stigmas earn is bad I don't believe, because the people that know of your condition and know why that you have these issues aren't there to make judgments on you. the general public makes judgments based on what they see or what they think is appropriate based on the norms of the community. in the incontinence community or the diaper wearing community, It is expected that people are going to wear diapers and, and we don't judge people's need or judge people's reasoning for using diapers. we come together and we help them. if they question themselves and wonder why, we try to help them deal with whatever it is that they deal with. we answer their questions as truthfully as they can be answered, and we always try to answer the question they ask, rather than to try to run them down a rabbit hole and tell them that their wrong order it's bad or whatever. the idea of being in a community like this is to support people and get support from people. even I have challenges like everyone else: for the longest time I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with me And why am I dealing with incontinence now. I was kind of relieved because I Thought that it would be a good idea to wear diapers, but I figured what will people say What will people think What would people believe. these are all stigmas that were brought forward to me to me after I continued to have accidents, and then I realized that a stigma is only what somebody thinks, what somebody believes or what some people use as a judgment poll to decide where a person should be, and whether a person should be wearing diapers or not. it is not the public's responsibility to judge the reasoning why someone does what they do, or why someone may decide to treat incontinence in a different way. it is the public's responsibility to be supportive of those that are dealing with issues that may be uncomfortable to not only the person that is dealing with it, but too others that are dealing with the same problem. it is not the fault of individuals that they have incontinence, but it is our responsibility as citizens to support them and help them to deal with it, so they can be and continue to be the best people they can be, supporting our community, because without support, we are in trouble. I don't care how old you are whether you are a baby, whether you are two years old, whether you're 50 years old, or older Call there are many reasons why people are dealing with incontinence, there are people that still believe the old wives tales: The ones that set ages that people should be potty trained by, the ones that set miles songs for child to be able to gain, and wild milestones are an important part of growing up, setting a milestone that says that a person needs to be trained by a certain amount of time, is only something that is probably set by our parents because they don't want to deal with diapers anymore. sometimes you have to deal with diapers regardless of what they deal with, and I'm glad that my mom was the kind of person that was a matter of fact, but always was loving and supportive, even when I was trying to figure out to myself why I felt the way I did, the fact is that incontinence is something that happens to many, and the way you react to it and the way you treat it while it is your decision, is the way that Help you to deal with the issue. If you are empathetic and understand others struggles, it is easier for you to be able to take it in hand and say, it's no big deal, people do have incontinence and they deal with it all the time, just don't worry about what other people say, do what you think is right, and we'll be here to help you and support you. I also think that stigmas were something that was put in our heads because they didn't want us to feel like we were going to get hammered with peer pressure because somebody that's older may wear diapers. Peer pressure is something that is very very very strong, And sometimes peer pressure is what someone needs to help them get over a bump in the road, And sometimes that helps a person learn the skills that they need, but sometimes pressure can be detrimental, or hurt somebody. This is why when I have young friends that have problems with incontinence, I always tell them that it's not their fault, and wearing diapers is not bad, I always try to pull the positive into what Is considered negative, And I always tell them that it's OK, Because your diaper will help you. it is not your fault that you have you have the problem that you're dealing with, and sometimes you just need to get bigger, and the problem will hopefully fix itself, but sometimes the problem does not, but that doesn't make a person any less of an individual because they were diapers, and the good thing about diapers is, you don't have to worry about wet pants, just your wet diapers and an occasional leak here and there. The thing is you have to turn a stigma into something that is not bad anymore. Luckily times have changed and people are more understanding of what incontinence is and why people use the things they used to deal with it. Today, incontinence is something that is dealt with with professionalism and tact, and it's not something that is made to be a negative where people would judge a person because of it period To judge someone because of incontinence is the bad thing to do, because even when somebody has their own issues, we all have issues of what we must deal with And sometimes incontinence is the demon that someone is trying to deal with, and the way they deal with it is to wear diapers or to deal with it in another medical fashion period Since this is an incontinence form, we will just say that people can use medicines or incontinence products, and it's up to the person who is dealing with the situation. This is why I'm always empathetic: there are many things that go wrong in life, and there's many things that are really bad. one of the things that I learned is that I have a lot of things that I'm dealing with My age, my disability, my mobility, my mental state, and everything that I'm dealing with. I'm also dealing with incontinence, and other medical issues. if you deal with incontinence, In my mind, the lowest of the things that I'm worried about, because I have a way to deal with it. Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale, because I have the right attitude, the right support, the right equipment, and I understand that it's not my fault, and I'm not going to pick on somebody or make them feel bad because of it. stigmas do that, and I think that's part of the problem, we need to get rid of these old stigmas that say diapers are bad. Let's put it this way: if you had a choice between wearing wet pants, or wearing a diaper and then wetting your diaper, would you rather have a wet diaper that you change and your dry pants, or would you rather have no diaper And wet your pants and have a whole bunch of mess to clean up? the answer probably would be that it would be more comfortable to wear a diaper, because that way at least you're dealing with the situation, and you don't have to worry too much. Sure you're gonna have to clean up afterwards, But if it wasn't for a diaper it would be a lot worse if you didn't have one on. The problem is that you have people that put stigmas in people's heads that make it sound like if you wear a diaper it's bad, or you tell a kid that wearing diapers is the most ridiculous thing, or pick on them, and that's what puts these negative connotations in their minds. if we can reverse this trend and tell kids that diapers are used by babies, but not necessarily everyone wearing are babies, and they can help you, and you reset their mindset a little, then they realize that a diaper is helpful, and not bad. When I started having problems at 46, including having accidents in my pants or in my chair, or even in my bed, I realized That I needed help and I ask the doctor for it, I also went to daily diapers, because, because I knew that there were people that were in my position and would understand exactly what they deal with. @Incont Understands exactly what people go through, and his community has been very very helpful to me and others. I knew that exactly where I needed to be, and I knew which several of the people by name because I had seen them before, and they have always been supportive. when I had the issues that I was dealing with, I knew that that's where I wanted to be, and I needed to be there, because I needed to understand what is going on or why I the way I did, and especially since they did have experience with incontinence. A diaper is a tool that is being used. In my case, the accidents were happening at such a frequency that I had no choice, and as stated above, things changed so fast, and I was basically spending more time in the bathroom than any time during the day, and most of that was when I was dealing with trying to sleep at night. I spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than in sleeping. my sleep was being interrupted, I wasn't very comfortable, and I know that there are people on daily diapers that could help me, and they help me to understand exactly what I was dealing with and why I was with it, and that it was OK. once I realized that it was OK, then I worked on trying to accept it, trying to deal with it in a way that makes sense, talking to people that have been very supportive, like a second family, and I'm so glad that I have this family, because some of the things that I've gone through people wouldn't understand, but people here do. The first or second time that I had a problem, I couldn't even move fast enough to get out of the chair! I would feel it about an eighth of a second before I was actually out of the chair, and I couldn't even get up or be able to put my hands on the arm rest of my recliner to be able to move towards the wheelchair, And I'd already messed my pants! when this kept happening, and I kept on losing sleep, I finally said " I've had enough, and it's time to do something, that's something was to join daily diapers, and I am here now, and I will continue to support both sites, because We are all a family regardless of why we are in diapers, we are all a family, and we deal with our incontinence in different ways, and hopefully My advice can be helpful here as well as over there" so as I say, stigma, I look you in the face and tell you too Go To Hell! Stigmas are made by others who may not understand why or how we can function the way we do or why we like something the way we do, and that is part of the problem. people judge us based on things that we have ingrained in our heads, and we need to be able to change the outlook of people who think diapers are bad. When you have incontinence, a diaper is like a savior, because it allows you to use your diaper and still move on with your life and live your life to the best possible way, although there are things that you may not be able to do as easily like swimming, but they're always good things about wearing diapers, because you don't have to worry if you have to release, You just have to be in a situation where you're around people that would expect you to release and not give you a bunch of grief overdoing it. if you have to release you have to release And that's that! @Zombie_Turtle Has it right: I say that because the most important thing is you need to be able to get on with your life! diapers are a normal part of my life, and several friends have said that they wished diapers were more normalized. I guess that is why there are some people like me who try to help people understand that it is normal to wear diapers, and I would rather wear a diaper for the rest of my life every night, if that is what it takes for me to feel confident for me to feel safe for me to feel like something makes sense to me, and it helps me to sleep! I don't know if I can even explain why it feels so good, but it's like having someone give you a wicked shot of something that removes pain, and let me tell you sometimes when you have to go to the bathroom, the pain is ridiculous, and can come on you like somebody snapping their fingers and pointing at your stomach, and then it's like Mount Saint Helens erupting, and then your diaper is your savior because it will catch it! because of me wearing diapers, I can now sleep all the way through the night, and when I talk to my doctor about it, I told him how much time I was spending in the bathroom every night, and he was concerned about my sleep habits! I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can, and as far as I can tell diapers are helping me to stay that way, and let's hope that diapers will continue to help me, because I don't wanna worry about it anymore, worrying about it causes more trouble than it's worth, you just have to be able to deal with it, and what I've learned is that the best thing to do is to remove as much stress as you can. Diapers not only help me with incontinence, but they help me with the stress and everything that I deal with in my life. people may laugh at me and say that that's ridiculous, but let me tell you having the diaper on kind of puts you in a position where you don't have to worry about it. You have your diaper on, and I always think of it this way: when you have to release, you are releasing all the stress and bad things that happen in your life in your diaper, which is designed to catch all of that, you change you clean up you throw it away, see you throw your stress away and you don't have to worry anymore, and every time you have that happen, your diapers ready. sometimes the stress gets out It gets out of your diaper into your cover, sometimes it leaks onto the floor, but you get rid of it and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I never realized how much diapers helped me to be able to lower my stress level, And that seems to also be something that I want to do. I'm sick of my heart rate being over 130 beats a minute or higher because of something stupid that I think of that has no bearing on anything and makes no sense. Diapers make sense to me, and I will continue to support those that need it. The most important thing is that is that a stigma is just that, a stigma! It is something that is put in our brains to make us think that diapers and things that are somehow revolting or somehow unfavorable in the world around us, So we think they're bad. stigmans are also used as a way to change someone's opinion, or have mold them and shape them into a possible belief that something is good or bad. I can understand peer pressure in the, and the fact that young kids young kids may not want to wear diapers, and be seen by their older friends, or the or the fact that they might be picked on if they wear diapers, but a stigma is just that It is a belief that is used to change our way of thinking, when the thing is a kid should be allowed to be a kid period two out of my four brothers had bedwetting problems throughout their lives, And one of them wore diapers until he was four and a half, and my other brother wore diapers until he was almost 3. our parents didn't get after them for it, but they were taught that it was OK that they wet their beds. They were also taught responsibility, And as they grew older, they were told if they wet their beds that wasn't a big problem, they just needed 2 bring their sheets downstairs and put them in the washer, and tell them that they wet their bed, and change it. No one got in trouble for that, but we found out, Mike and I for example, being the oldest what exactly was going on. they would want to get into bed with us, and we found out why. I had no objection, but I always would tell them that if they wet themselves, that is OK, but they're not getting into my bed for example unless they're dry! the point is is that you should be able to look a stigma right in the eye and put a whole right in the tire of that stigma! we need to be able to remove the stigmas and all the bad connotations of wearing diapers, and allow people to understand that diapers are not the worst thing in the world! if I were to ask one in 10 people on daily diapers if they would rather wear a diaper versus whether having a wet bed, probably all ten of them would tell me that they'd rather have a dry bed, and they might have 10 different ways of dealing with the situation. The most important thing is that the stigma should not put the child or anybody else in a position where they feel any less of an individual because they don't have any control. The idea of having someone be supportive is so that they can get over it. I have cerebral palsy for example, and there's nothing I can do to change that, And I'm always going to have it from the day I've been born until the day I'm dead, but I've learned how to deal with it so that it is not something that is detrimental to my health and my well being or my mental stability. diapers give me the support that I need, and now which is I can I will continue to help people give them support as much as they need, because I say diapers are not the problem, it's the People's public persona in their belief that diapers are bad that we need to change, And we also need to make it so that people understand that incontinence is not like a dragon that's going to burn your head off if you have it! you can control it, and even then, because you have to wear diapers, you can have fun with it, and that's why for example I wear different color diapers, because plain white ones get kind of boring, but I do understand the therapy where white ones Because that's the way they feel of it, which is fine. My main concern is that we need to allow people to say they're incontinent without feeling like somebody is going to stand them up like a nightclub and do a end up routine with them at night! remember regardless of what type of incontinence you have, you always have support, because without support, always a lot of a lot of the world around us would be something that you couldn't figure out, it would be like if the world itself was changed. I live in a world for example where you talk it might be people and they understand you, But what would happen if the world around you was like this, and then somebody decided to flip a switch, and so I'm watching unsolved mysteries for example, and everything Robert Stack says is backwards, and everything else someone says is forward and I can't understand it, and it's really weird. That's what I think some people think of incontinence, it's like being in a show called close encounters of the third kind, people are not aliens They're just people that have an issue, and people need to be understanding, even if they don't understand it, and that is why we need to teach people that incontinence is not bad, it's just how you deal with it That's important. But regardless of what you do to do that, you need to be understanding and supportive. Brian
    3 points
  32. I dislike diapers with tape landing zones😟 for the reasons discussed above. Landing zones require the tapes to be where they limit our ability to position them optimally for our personal shapes. For example, try MegaMax and then try MegaMax Air, the breathable version of the diaper without a tape landing zone. I can position the tapes optimally on the MegaMax Air and have fewer leaks than with the MegaMax with the landing zone.
    3 points
  33. I change on the floor at home and standing in public restrooms. laying down is much easier for me and I prefer to change that way.
    3 points
  34. Seconded, though not everyone will need this much, nor will all these tips work for everyone. Case in point, mastering putting on a diaper while standing so you won't need to carry around a changing mat big enough for an adult. Well, not everyone can do that either. I'd say the import thing for anyone to take away is to find what each individual needs and what helps them manage it all best.
    3 points
  35. @Slomo i've also noticed one thing. in addition to the things that you're talking about, it's always a good thing to have: -- nitrelle Gloves, so when you have to put on topicals, you end up being able to put on a pair of gloves and be able to use the topicals or any of the gels or lotions, and keep that off of your fingers. once you're done you remove the from the bottom of your wrist and turn them inside out and throw them away. this way all of the topical stuff ointments and Whatnot are on the glove, and when you pull it off you actually throw that away. this will allow you to put the diaper on and not have to worry about what happens should you touch the tapes. If your fingers are not loaded with this gooey stuff or goopy stuff, you won't have to deal with your tapes not sticking. You can use your gloves to do anything that you need to apply any topicals or any ointments or whatever, but that way you can take off the gloves and throw them away and not have all that on your hands. Some of the things that you use when you're doing diaper changes can be quite sticky, or oily or whatever, so you don't want any of that touching your front panels your tapes or sometimes even the diaper itself, because the diaper can disintegrate if you if you use way too much inside the diaper. I have learned from experience that you want to keep your topicals on your gloves rather than all over your fingers of your hands. when I decided that I was going to use the gloves, it was one heck of a godsend. As far as everything else you posted, it's right on the money! all of those things are good Suggestions for managing incontinence or diaper changes, and one of the things that I would add is to make sure you have the proper type of disposal bags and disposal system so that you can quickly get rid of dirty diapers, and they won't smell up your bathroom or your house. Remember that most people that don't wear diapers can probably automatically automatically tell when they're in a house when someone wears diapers because of the smell. people who wear diapers usually become nose blind which means we don't realize there is a smell, because we're so used to the environment But other people would. Very good tricks very good advice! Brian
    3 points
  36. For me, form must follow function. That is, a diaper is intended to absorb pee without leaking. So above all else, any diaper needs to be trustworth to not leak. If it does leak on me more than 1-2 times a month, then I need a better diaper. And wow have I gone through a LOT of diapers finding one. Which ended up being Betterdry for me. Of note; I found any diaper that uses a "no lower tapes" design will leak around my legs well before it is even half used. By this I mean if you look at any diaper with a front tape landing panel. The back wings will have one tape nearly centered, and one tap near the top. There is no lower tape. This all said, Betterdry has several variants. The same exact make, but with prints. Ever since embracing my DL side I've made Crinklz my day and night, go-to diaper. I only need two diapers in 24 hours, so they also cost me less than $5.00 per day. Something other diapers like arena, tenant seni can't do for me. And certainly not the "cheap" diapers like depends or atn. And yes, I've been to the ER in a crinklz. Gone into w waaaayy to many surgeries with them on. Ive also changed in an open locker room with them, and kept them on while sunbathing at the beach. (Not like I have the choice to just take them off either). Though if I plan to go into the water I wear a reusable pocket diaper. It has a waterproof outer liner and a thin terry cloth inner liner, with a removable cloth booster pad. I can remove the pad, and the terry liner will catch any dribbling to and from the water. Work good at water parks too. Though I do have to make sure to break a leg seal when getting out, so the water can drain out. Lest I want to walk around sloshing.
    3 points
  37. I will agree that Northshore beats out any of the other medical disposable diapers on the market.
    3 points
  38. Brian has "stolen" what I was about to post. We seem to be using almost identical products and have great respect for NorthShore Care. Is there any chance we can get NorthShore Adam to join our little group? --John
    3 points
  39. My bowel incontinence is total and I estimate that I have as much as 20 -30% bladder control, but only sometimes. Due to nerve damage from pelvic trauma, I shift back and forth unpredictably between voluntary and involuntary bladder control. As I am OAB and a heavy wetter, I wear premium diapers with a booster pad. Nowadays I get a good night's sleep as I void in the diaper and don't worry about it. I already was a sometimes bed wetter (I'n not sure how often anymore). It was impossible for me to get enough sleep if I got up, removed diaper layers, diapered back up, and went back to bed two or more times a night. My doctors agreed that sleep was the higher priority. As I indicated in another post, I manage my bowel incontinence with daily morning old-fashioned enemas.😱 After all, an empty colon cannot have a bowel accident. Over the years I have self-administered about 7,000 enemas. After I get "hosed,"🙄 I usually will not have a bowel accident until the following day, so I am relieved of that form of stress. My SCI rehab docs have approved of my procedures. I'll be glad to answer any questions about enemas as there is so much bad information out there on the Internet. I am not ashamed of being incontinent or of wearing diapers. I am not ashamed of my arthritis, so why should I be ashamed of my other medical conditions? My diapers have become my underwear. It's just private. I like to say "Be thankful for your diapers. Think how difficult life would be without them." --John
    3 points
  40. Hi Brian. You have company as I like colors. Sterile hospital white diapers are boring. I do not wear infantile prints, but like tie-dye, polka dots, paint splotches, etc. I would wear prints if they were adult prints. --John
    3 points
  41. Because this forum is specifically discuss incontinence and the ways we live with it deal with it, treat it, use differing products, Or just to support one another, I am posting my journey to incontinence here. i've been disabled all my life and I was trained early, I ended up spending a lot of time in pediatric rehab centers, which probably made my incontinence worse, because, because they expected us to wear diapers and use them rather than to use the bathroom. the story below chronicles my journey to incontinence, and how I was able to accept it. One of the things that I always tell people is that incontinence is nothing to fear, it should be embraced and dealt with in an appropriate manner that makes sense to you. in these forms, we won't have to worry about desires, or ways to become incontinent, we will deal with how you deal with it. As such, I have removed some of the some of the information from the original posting this came from from daily diapers, as it does not have any reason to be there. This is just the story of how I became incontinent, And my struggles as a young kid and a young man as I grew up, and always had the feelings and the desires and everything else, And then when incontinence hit me at 46, then I was able to use diapers to be able to deal with it. People ask me what it's like to be incontinent: Incontinence is basically the inability to control your bladder or bowels, and it can be can be in varying levels of severity. for me, being incontinent is similar to what would happen if you had a 2 year old that was potty training and still wearing diapers, and then the kid is loaded up with a lot of liquid, and eventually the kid the kid can't hold it, and will explode and fill the diaper! That is the way it feels to me, once it starts I can't stop it until I empty all the way out, and people wonder how that is. For me, being incontinent is something that I embrace because I feel the need to be able to deal with it that way. in addition to being incontinent, diapers help me and many other ways to keep my sanity my security and Also protect me from having accidents and also from crazy things on the outside. Incontinence is not a game, And when people tell me that they want to become incontinent, and they want to find out how to do it, I always have to tell people that once you get ready, and make the decision to go 24/7 in diapers, that means 24/7 365 days a year, no stops no brakes, And it also means that you need to be able to change your lifestyle to make the appropriate changes so that you can accommodate wearing diapers. it is not all fun and games or all roses, it can stink and it can be a pain in the neck, that deal with incontinence on a daily basis have learned to deal with those particular issues, and we know what it is like to be incontinent,, and we know that it can be a pain, and it can be a drag sometimes, and people make decisions on how they want to handle it. the main thing is that there are times when not having the ability to control your bladder or bowels can be a detriment, but you always try to find a positive within a negative. It is my hope that this community can be an extension of things that we know about incontinence and how to deal with it. since we are dealing with a medical condition here, there are many things that we can do to help each other as we end up going through our journey. being a support system is very helpful and very important because there are going to be people who are going to run into the problem of incontinence, and they may be scared and they may not know where to go or how to deal with it, or how to even bring it up. it's my hope that this particular board can help those people that are dealing with incontinence to find strategies to be able to deal with it all the way around. CHILDHOOD ( 1-8 ish) I guess you could say that my journey began when I was a young child. From the time I was about one until the time I was eight, my mom took care of two children. Myself, always three years younger than my brother Richard. Richard was severely disabled as a result of an automobile accident. As a result Of this, he was Non-mobile, nonverbal, and had to be taken care of like a baby. My mom, taking care of me and Richard, what’s the change and inordinate amount of diapers, because from the time that I was a young baby until I got out of diapers, that was one thing she dealt with, and then of course my brother wore diapers from the time he was born until 1979, when he tragically died as a result of aspirating on his uvula I believe. We moved from our first house in the country when I was approximately four years old. After this happened, my brother started going to an impatient facility that was designed to help him, and he took care of him in this facility from The time I was four until the time he died at 10 years old. Throughout this whole entire time, my mom would still be changing his diapers, when he would come home for the weekend, and still have supplies around to take care of him. On a couple or more occasions, I would sneak his diapers, and then try to put them on, and I found that they felt good, and made me feel good. Throughout my young childhood, this was something that I always will remember, and thought to myself “something isn’t right here, I like this“. One time, my mom caught me wearing one of my brothers diapers, are trying to put one on. I told my mom the truth that it felt good, and she said “did you like it“, and then I said yes I did. She then told me that that wasn’t a good idea, took the diaper away, and that was the end of that. Throughout the rest of my childhood from about nine until I was about 15, I would still have urges like this, but I was able to control them. Even when I had my younger brothers that were in diapers I would be able to control these urges, and I kept on thinking to myself “this is wrong, but I don’t understand why I feel good“. PEDIATRIC REHAB STINTS: Long term diapering begins, And the real horrors begin Between those times when I was about six years old, I spent two stints, in pediatric rehab 75 miles away from my home in Barre Vermont. They sent me there because they wanted me to be able to have full-time therapy, and be able to have it every day, and have it be continuous for a longer period of time, thinking that it would help me get stronger. In order to get me to go there, one of the representatives of this place, called the Vermont achievement Center in Rutland Vermont, told me that I would be able to swim every day, and made it sound like Club Med, where I could get personalized attention, and be able to swim every day play basketball, have fun with kids my own age, and deal With what I deal with as my disability, while meeting others that have disabilities of varying severity, and I would be able to make friends and help them. Of course, the fantasy was nowhere near like the reality of what I dealt with. They took good care of me, they made sure I had my therapy, and they helped me in school. The downside was that I was taken out of my local school, and I was schooled 75 miles away from my classmates, my friends, my community, and I was out of the water, and I didn’t know where the hell I was. I was told what to do, I was ordered to do things, and then they ended up getting mean when we didn’t want to do something. On several occasions, they were making food that I could not stand, that I did not eat normally, and I was force-fed things that would make me sick. I didn’t like runny eggs, I didn’t like fried eggs, and there’s certain foods that would make me sick. However, they insisted. If being disabled wasn’t bad enough, being six years old wasn’t bad enough, these people sometimes had no compassion, and they would deal with you like a bratty two-year-old who says no, and then screams bloody murder: they would decide to take me, built me into my own manual wheelchair, put my support tray on, and then make it impossible for me to escape, and then they would force-feed me whatever I would not eat. When I got sick, they just got mad and the next day they would do the same thing. I had to call my father on a few occasions to get these guys to stop doing this, and they were even threatening me with retaliation if I didn’t “shut up and do as they said“ and by retaliation, I meant that they would find what I was afraid of, and use that against me. They found out what exactly I was afraid Of, and then they turned around and use it against me. I was deathly afraid of the fire alarm: the sound just scared the hell out of me, not only because I was afraid of the fire, but the fact that the fire alarm rings indicates that we must leave the building, so I was scared to death in the first place that I would probably burn up in the building, so they would use that particular fear against me to shut me up or make me comply. Not only that, but they would use the old “you have to do this“ and “you need to do this“ reasons, so I would not have a choice when they would tell me that I needed to do something or they wanted me to do something. Technically, it was them who wanted me to do something, but I didn’t need to do it, but they didn’t ask me, they would basically give me 30 seconds to a minute to comply, and then outcomes all of the gorillas trying to force you into doing it. One day when I refused to eat whatever they were serving, And after I had requested specific meals be given me, that I would eat every single time without giving them any problem, these idiots I believe tried to use a high chair to hold me, and then they would try to force feed me what they wanted me to eat. They would make fun of me because I didn’t want to eat it, and they would keep shoveling it in – after I vehemently opposed this treatment, and reported it to A supervisor, they got sick of me, and asked me to leave the room. When I tried to leave on my own power, the assholes wound me up took me to one end of the hallway and told me “if you don’t want to do as you’re told and you don’t want to eat, go to your room now”! And then they pushed me as hard as they could. I sail down the hallway and almost crashed head-on into several metal chairs, a glass table, and Bank of windows. Once I was able to regain control of my wheelchair which was flying out of control, and I ripped skin off of my hands trying to stop this ridiculousness, I yelled “you assholes are fucking dead“ or something to that effect, and I slammed my door as hard as I could. Everybody comes running down the hall, and they start yelling at me, and start saying that I was “inappropriate“ and I shouldn’t of used that language. That I said “you guys didn’t listen to me when I told you I couldn’t eat the stuff, And you wouldn’t listen to me when I told you I was afraid of the stupid fire alarm, but you use that against me, you always tell me what to do, you’re always being mean to me, and I’m sick of it. I have choices around here and you will honor them.” I basically told them that I was not going to come out of my room unless until either my father is called and I can talk to him, or he comes down to see me, and we clean house and get rid of these ridiculous many idiots that don’t understand, or they capitulate to my demands which are very easy, and they deal with it. So, my father was called: these people were telling my father all the things I said: he said that I shouldn’t have said some of the words I said, but he asked “what are you doing to my son that he would be acting like this“ and when they told him some of the things that they were doing, they neglected to say what they had done to me by sticking me under a fire alarm, or pushing me down the hallway and incredibly fast speed and almost crashing me into stationary objects. They told him that I would not eat, and that they were force-feeding me, because they were worried about me.“. My dad was furious, and asked him “what the hell are you feeding him that he won’t eat it“ and I told him that they were feeding me eggs and a whole bunch of things that my dad knows that I wouldn’t eat because that is not the type of food I. My dad told them what I would eat, and that if they were to do that and provide me those particular foods, that I would be more understanding, and I would probably do what they said. I also told my dad that I had requested A shower, and a radio at night, because I’m bored, I’m home sick, and I wanna go home but these idiots won’t let me, and they keep treating me like trash.. Dad told me he understood, and had a discussion with these “idiots” and told them and no one certain terms that I was not to be treated this way, and that I was to be given choices. I told my dad that I would do everything that they asked me to do provided they spoke to me as if I was a lot older than they thought I was, and they gave me plenty of warning, and they let me know what they wanted me to do without yelling at me, scaring me, or giving up on me and just walking off in a half. Told my dad that this place is scary, and the people here are nice, but I’m scared to death that I’m not going to get some thing that I need, or they’re going to force me. Not only that, but then the worst thing happened, and because I was disabled, going into a rehab facility, they encouraged me to use my wheelchair 24 hours a day, when I’m not in therapy. This also meant that I could not go to the bathroom as often as I would normally, and I started having accidents both ways. Then came the THICK PAMPERS - and I was put into them quote because it would be easier for them and more comfortable for you“. In actuality, they did not want me to be getting out of bed, even though I could walk when I walked in there, and I could get into bed very easily and get out without hurting myself, and I showed an individual dish. They still frowned upon it, so for most of the time that I was in the rehab facility in both situations, I was wheelchair-bound, sometimes force-fed, Diapered, and they just did it because that was the easiest way to deal with me. To say the least, I was surprised that I did not have to be re-potty trained because what they do in a rehab facility for pediatrics is probably stick everyone in diapers, similar to what they would do for an elderly person who is in a nursing facility. and then I had to deal with school anxiety: I couldn’t get my work done, my teacher wasn’t around, and everybody was forcing me to do work that I didn’t understand. I finally had enough of this, and I said and no one certain terms “get my teacher down here right now, because I’m not doing any more work until I see him or at least five of my friends, because this to me is not fun, and I’m not learning anything“ I was so mad, because most of the time it is so hard to go through school and have to deal with a disability and have people who are trying to help you, but don’t really know how to help you or what to do to help you, and while I needed to go to the pediatric rehab centers, I needed to be able to see my teacher: I was 70 miles away, I wasn’t interacting with any of my friends, and I was missing my family which is making it almost as bad as if I was in “baby jail“ so for 14 weeks of my life, I was wheelchair-bound “diapered, force-fed, and basically treated like I didn’t have a brain and I was an invalid. During this time, I think that was part of the reason why I became a diaper lover, because that’s what I wore, and that was “acceptable“ because we were young kids and they didn’t want to take us to the bathroom. I even had my friend tell me horror stories of bad things that happened in there, and I’m glad that I got out when I did, but I still have trauma from that stay, but I guess The only thing that helped me through this entire episode, was the fact that my diapers never let me down, and certain individuals who took care of me, make sure that I was clean, dry, happy, and I was able to enjoy going outside. I remember one thing quite fondly because there was a playground that was at the other end of the facility, which was approximately four wings away from the therapy unit. Because this was a specialized unit for people that were disabled, they had all of the specialized equipment to take care of anybody from birth almost all the way up to adulthood. This was considered the “unit“ and it was residential. Anybody that needed long-term care was sent here, and was dealt with like you were in a hospital. There were good times there, but to me most of them were bad. Now, back to the thing I was talking about before, and that is that we found a playground at the other end of the facility. This playground with specialized in that allowed people that we’re totally disabled the ability to do things that kids that aren’t disabled could do. By this I mean, they can use the monkey bars, ride to Merry go round, or go on the swings, or other types of activities. because I was disabled, I cannot use a normal swing that is like either a swing seat or a wooden seat. When I was a kid, I had my own swing, and I would go with my dad outside, and he would put me in the swing, and be with me all the time, so it wouldn’t matter if I fell off because he would catch me. When you’re in a rehab facility like this, and you have people that are profoundly disabled, or maybe even just severely disabled, you try to find ways to allow kids to enjoy those type of activities. So, some genius came up with the idea that all kids should be able to use the swings colon to that end, they reinforced about five different swings on a swingset: what they would do is they would take regular car seats, that are used for babies, and they would make them big enough for people as all that is like 15 to be able to sit in, and they would be dealt it in like you would be if you were a baby in a car seat. You wouldn’t be going anywhere in a car, but when you are fully restrained in this seat, you are then able to be pushed by a person behind you that is in a standing position, and you are able to enjoy the swings without hurting yourself, or having you fall out. They set me up in one of these special swings, and I had Fun doing this, because I couldn’t go anywhere, I couldn’t fall out, and the only thing I had to make sure of was that I wasn’t sick. Because of the things that they were able to do at Vermont Achievement Center, I was able to enjoy some of the activities that my peers that were non-disabled were able to enjoy, and I always had fond memories of my brother, because he lived in the facility that was down the street. I kind of wish that we could’ve brought him to VAC, And set him up in a car seat like that, and allow him and I do actually enjoy swinging. Although, this did not happen because my brother died in April 1979, so he did not get to enjoy this. FAMILY PHILOSOPHY our family philosophy was easy: allow the kids to live the best life they can, and deal with it as it comes. My brother because of his disability wore diapers all of his life, and because most of the people that took care of me understood this, and my grandparents dealt with a disabled daughter, this was common place, and wearing diapers was no big deal. I can’t tell you the number of times that I had an accident, and they were just say “no problem Brian will take care of you“ and it was done, and there was no Bad feelings or anything like this. However, as I grew older, sometimes I would have their “feelings come back really strong“ and there was no real way for me to deal with it appropriately. A couple times I even stole some diapers so that I could attempt to do what I did when I was eight years old. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I knew for some reason I like them and that my feelings were always be there, but I didn’t know if it was OK to feel that way. QUESTIONING WHY I WAS FEELING THIS WAY so for years, I would suppress that feeling, and I wouldn’t allow my body to act on it. That changed somewhat when I turned 23, in 1995. When I moved out on my own, I would eventually be able to get baby diapers, and be able to “indulge“ in some of the things that I thought were taboo, or bad, or things that you don’t do. I don’t know why it felt so good, but every once in a while the drive was in surmountable, and I had to act on it. I’m not sure why diapers felt good, I don’t know why I felt guilty because I did that, but it was just something that was in my head. One day, I was searching the Internet and found other sites that dealt with infantilism, and what that meant, and found that adults wearing diapers was more common than I imagined. I knew that disabled wore them, and I knew that some adults wore them because they had no control, but I had no idea that they were anyone that would be considered a “adult baby“ or “a diaper lover“. During the search, I found this site, daily diapers, and I don’t know if that was when I was closer to 30, because I’m not even sure if it was around when it happened. I then found out that there were people that liked wearing diapers, and that it made them feel good, and that it was not uncommon. I also found the door people who like to dress up as girls, or like to be or pretend to be baby girls, and the whole list: I knew now that I was not “Weird“ or “strange“ or “broken“, but that something had been validated in my head, letting me know that I was not crazy. This started me on the journey that began when I was 23. From about 24 until 46, I would have these urges, and then be able to deal with them. Sometimes I would go down and I would get adult diapers, and before adult diapers were available in stores, I would eventually pick up a couple packages of baby diapers, and allow myself to indulge and take care of the “urges” that my current diapers help me to deal with today. I didn’t advertise that I felt this way, and I kept it under wraps, because I was Evelyn Dellcerro would tell me, They would think something was wrong with you and want to “send you away” I did not want this to happen, and I don’t know why I felt the way I did, but I tried my best to keep that at bay. I was successful, but I knew that having cerebral palsy, that eventually I may end up being in a position where I would need to use them again. STRUGGLES WITH INCONTINENCE AND FEELINGS Skip ahead to June 2019: for some reason, I had a flareup of IBS and a diagnosis of diverticulitis. This started as a severe, and very annoying case of diarrhea that was really runny. This means that I was running to the bathroom every few minutes, or I’d fill my pants. For some reason, my diverticulitis and my IBS were working overtime, and we’re causing me no end of trouble. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would be woken up at ungodly hours of the morning, For example say I have to go to the bathroom at say 9 PM. I go in there, and then I sit there for 15 minutes: I do my business, and then I walk back out, and then try to go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, I would be back up in the bathroom, and end up continuing what I started, and this would continue for a 15 minute intervals all night long, or until I was able to get rid of what was causing the issue. This would result in some mornings where I would get up at 11 PM, and then would not be able to get back in bed until one in the morning. I then would run into a situation where I would be sitting in my chair, and I would feel the need to go, and I would think I have to get up to go number two, and just as I said I have to… It would already happen, I would already have matched my pants, and I would not be able to complete transit from my recliner to the bathroom. This continue to happen 10 or 15 times in a row, and I just got sick of it and had to deal with it. And then, when that was over with, there were times when I would be sitting in bed, and I would have a tranquility ATN on. I would use it to go number one, and then when I’m done change the diaper. I would then end up having an accident in the diaper, or I wouldn’t be able to change it fast enough, and I would have a mess in my bed. At that point, I got sick of it, called my doctor, had an appointment made, and told him that I wanted him to prescribe me diapers, he praised me for having the courage and the guts to come to tell him that, prescribe me the prevail air diapers, which only used the cheapest stuff possible, and then after two weeks I ended up asking him for The best diapers available, which were the mega maxes, and that was granted, and the state agreed with me. FATE, AND MY DECISION TO USE DIAPERS TO DEAL WITH INCONTINENCE AND MY FEELINGS So in June 2019, all of these weird things culminated in me finally deciding that in August 2019, that I’ve had enough, and I asked him for diapers. After about two months of using the cheapest available, I was able to convince the state that I needed plastic bag diapers, telling them what they were giving me was not considered a “diaper” and that I will told them to go to rears.ca and other particular Adult diaper website to tell them and show them what the actual adult diaper was. Because this was not cutting it, and I was not dealing with this well. Not only that, but in August, I had my doctor physically write in my medical records my diagnoses, so that no one would be able to tell me that I was not incontinent both directions. This is similar to enthusi, did with his doctor. now, nobody messes with that: they understand that I’m incontinent, and even when I was dealing with my own feelings about whether I had made the right choice, I had a long discussion with my Quetion nature, and she told me that “there was nothing for me to worry about don’t worry about it, it’s common, it happens, you need them, you’ll get them“ this case manager that I’ve had is like a Florence Nightingale, like a angel in disguise, a lady that really understands what is going on, and can make things happen within her means. I couldn’t have done this without her, and I feel as if I am “complete now“. There were nights that I would wait like a week and worry about what the heck I was dealing with, or whether somebody was thinking I was crazy. In 2020, I made the final decision to go 24 seven, and that was because I was worrying about everything under the sun, and I needed to unwind, and re-prioritize what I need to worry about. Incontinence was not one thing that I would need to worry about, so long as I had the right stuff to deal with it. I was also dealing with extreme stress and I lost several of my friends, or I hadn’t seen my family for a long long long time. When I finally came to the realization that diapers were the right choice, I told my father and told him that I was having problems, and I asked what he thought of it, and he said “don’t worry about it bud if you need them, it’s understandable, and so your stepmother also agrees“ EPILOUGE: My Diapers are here to stay for the epilogue: I am still wearing diapers, and I believe that wearing them 24 hours a day seven days a week is the best thing for me. I don’t even worry anymore, because if I need to wet, or I need to mess, I have the ability to do it. It took me so long to get here, and it took me so long to understand what it is that I was trying to deal with, but I finally was able to accept it as part of what makes me myself. I got tired of wet Pants, beds, messy pants or beds, or just the fact that my body sometimes decides that it’s gonna happen whether I’m ready for it or not. It only took me a few shots, but now if I need to, I am not worried about messing myself, because the diaper is there for that reason, and each time that I have a flareup or a problem, I say “that’s why I have the diapers” and I’m so damn glad that I have them now. I am not sure what would’ve happened if I had not made that choice: I want to be safe, I want to be happy: and I am: it kinda reminds me of having an extreme shot of adrenaline, or some thing that makes me feel really really really good inside. Now, I could put myself in a diaper, or someone could help me, and I don’t feel guilty, are used to feel the guilt all the time, because I figured that there was something that was going on, and I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but I realized that I am wired the way I am, and there’s nothing that’s going to change that. As long as I do what I do and do it in appropriate manner, I have nothing to fear: I just got sick of having to hide what the true me was, and I had to work through it to determine what I actually felt, but now I feel as if I know what it is, and that is why I am here. Friends like you are easy to make, because you understand what it is that we go through, and because of your own journey it makes it easier for me to continue on my own. (Consolidated from @Beccathelittle's thread - Added April 22, 2022 @15:25 EDT) update on my training: I’ve been 24 seven ever since The beginning of 2020. There are times when I end up having a lot of wet accidents, and then there are times where I just have a few BM’s. Yesterday, I ate dinner and then I ended up having a blowout which I had to deal with, but I’m glad that I have the diaper, because that helps me immensely. You may have to clean it up, but at least having a diaper on keeps that stuff at bay. I don’t know if my stomach has been causing some of this issue, because every few minutes it makes funny noises, like it’s digesting something which is normal, but I still wonder sometimes if my stomach is screwed up because of something else. Last night it came so fast I couldn’t stop it and then it made me cramp up and then Force eject. i’ve noticed that most times my pee, feels like either it comes out slow and then moderate, and then other times it comes out real fast. What happens is as it starts to burn then it hurts quote then it just opens up and it feels like a river exploding in my pants. This is exactly what I want as far as being able to release, but I hope that if I have my bladder drain out that fast, hopefully I don’t flood the diaper out: I’ve done that before he he ? If I haven’t said it before I’ll say it again: diapers of save my life, and I love them a lot: when you can’t sleep some nights or you’re in pain, a diaper is like an angel because you can use it and then change it out. It’s pretty cool that I was able to do this, and that I was finally able to accept that I am incontinent and I am a diaper lover, so I just let it go. It feels good to release, especially if you are under stress because you can release all of the stress every Time you use the diaper, and that, in my opinion, is one of the best things, with everything you release, you feel better because you don’t have to worry. I am trying my best to do what I know to be right, and I’m hoping that I will be able to continue my training as well. There’s no reason for me to be running and hurting myself so I diaper is my choice, and I’m glad I did it! Congrats to those are who are continuing to train, and who have “graduated the training“ most times you have to deal with life, so your training time might be limited, but once you get past the training stage, and you accept it, then you are halfway home. I think I’m almost there at least, but I’m not quite sure. One thing I am quite sure of is that my diapers are my friend, and that is what I will use. As I said, I’m sick and tired of trying to run or trying to move real fast and then end up on the floor because of this. Diapers allow me to sleep andd deal with feelings and the incontinence, and it’s cool but I’m able to finally come to the realization the diapers and I are old friends, and I don’t want to give them up! Brian
    3 points
  42. Gary Activewear PUL pants are fantastic, PUL diaper covers in general make such a difference
    2 points
  43. Hi and welcome. I also became incontinent while in the military. If you don't mind my asking, what has it been like raising 4 kids while also dealing with incontinence? How was potty training handled? And did you have any other hurdles or problems because of your incontinence?
    2 points
  44. I just had an interesting conversation with a new urologist, so thought I'd share. For those who don't know, I previously had a severe urinary blockage (neurogenic dyssynergia), coupled with sever urge incontinence. And yes, it was painful and the complications from it were even a little deadly. A whopping 16 surgeries later and now I'm functionally incontinent, with dripping all the time. Except recently I've sometimes been retaining urine in my bladder. Given my history I figured it would be best to look into why that's happening. So my pcm referred me to a new urologist. I'm a disabled veteran, and get my primary care at a Navy base hospital, and my urologist referral also ended up being on base too. And he is an active duty Captain. So I started him off with a brief history, where I should be with my functional incontinence, and what's been going on. And as expected he ordered a cystoscopy for a later date so we can figure out what's changed. But then he starts asking me how I've been dealing with all my problems, sex life, and managing my incontinence! Like, no other specialist has EVER cared enough to even ask this stuff.... On the topic of managing my incontinence we ended up talking about how difficult it was for me when I first started wearing depends 24/7 (In the 90's). And how bad they were with leaks. How even now the only thing dependable with Depends is they absolutely will leak. But I've since found much, much better online that is also cheaper. Intreagued he asked me what I use now, and I told him Betterdry (just to keep it simple, even though I actually use Crinklz). That yes they cost 3x as much, but they also last 6x as long. They don't leak, have better acquisition and therefore feel dryer for longer, need changing much less often, and therefore cost less on a cost-per-day basis. And he was really happy to hear all that. I just wish I also told him about LLMedical, which sells them with a military/veterans discount. Lol, or maybe this website too.
    2 points
  45. Not Trest, but I did try Megamax. And was kind of disappointed with them. They leaked on me before they even came close to half full, right at the front of my legs. Not a surprise though, Megamax has their lower tapes shifted up towards the middle of the back wings. Which means I will never be able to get a snug fit around my legs with them. Really with any diaper that uses a tape landing zone, and "no lower tapes". Which Trest is even more extreme with their tape placement, so I have no interest in trying them.
    2 points
  46. I'll never admit to crying. NEVER! Though at first I sometimes had that same thought. Now though, I think to myself I'm glad I had a diaper on or that would have been a real disaster to cry over. I then clean up as best as I can, and move on without giving it a second thought. Eventually in life you'll have to realize you can't dwell on what has happened. There's no changing that. What you can do though, is be prepared so the next time it happens you can be glad it was at least mitigated, and things won't be as bad as it could have been. In other words, always try and look for the brighter side of things.
    2 points
  47. Yep. That is a tough one. The inconvenience of it can be completely deflating sometimes. Sorry for your crumby day😒 For me it's when I am "in the zone" getting something done that i'm really focused on, and I can't tell that I am wetting myself until I am nearly leaking. Then having to stop and change is such a distraction and can ruin my motivation. Finding those windows of times where I feel both healthy, and motivated seem like they are few, so things like changing are energy and time spent that I wish I could be spending on other things. I feel ya.
    2 points
  48. I've went through a colonoscopy at 35 years old, and am about to go through it again at 46. I was mostly just urge incontinent back then, now functionally incontinent. The prep: Not going to lie, that medicine tasted land and nasty to me. Take it all at once if you can, but many docs will have you take half with a number of hours in between the second dose. No food from here out either. You will feel your stomach and intestines cramping, but it's not as bad as the worse cramping you've ever had. You will need to keep extremely well hydrated during this time too. Usually with Gatorade (no red or blue dies though), or some other electrolyte drink. The cleansing: The first time it hit me wasn't bad at all. Just a normal bowell movement really. Get ready though, because you're not done. From here you absolutely will need to have quick access to a toilet, like under 60 seconds. With my urge incontinence I kept my diaper on, but also made sure the tapes were just loose enough so I could pull it down quickly. Pants definitely needed to be off too, though I guess wearing loose shorts would have probably been ok too. From here, how comfortable is your toilet seat? The frequency and severity will get worse. No more painful or annoying than having run of the mill diarrhea, but enough you will not get very much warning. So again, being able to use the toilet quicky is going to be a must. And you can expect that to randomly happen for at least the next couple hours. For you, you may just want to set yourself up to stay on the toilet for 3+ hours. If not, then make sure you have 6+ diapers (with tall leak guards), and a bunch of wipes on hand l. At some point it will taper off to where only a little water will come out, then none even though you'll swear there's more to come. But you'll be cleaned out by then. Congrats, the worst is over. The procedure: You'll normally head to the surgical center or hospital 8+ hours (or the next morning) after that first dose. You can opt to stay awake for the procedure, I chose to be knocked out just to make everything easier for everyone. So I can't comment on the details here. Basically, they put a LOT of gas in your out hole, then insert a snaking camera with a really long wire. The gas inflates the colon enough so they can easily see everything. From there they proceed all the way up, but short of your stomach. Then back out and release as much gas as they can. Or so I'm told. Recovery: I went into the OR with my diaper on, and woke up without it in recovery. It's an uneventful recovery, and I didn't even feel sore anywhere. I diapered up, and waited. That's because they hold you untill you start passing the rest of the gas. And you will be letting them rip, which is normal and expected. Follow up: This is a normal doctor's visit. They'll go over anything they find with you then determine if/what anything needs to be done then.
    2 points
  49. @Incont Since this is the form that we would discuss our symptoms and our diagnosis, I figured I would place something here so people know what I deal with. Please note that because we do not have very many members yet, I'm not going to hit the mentions for every person, but they will see the posting here when they enter the Forum, so I shouldn't have to worry about that. once we have a lot more members, then we can start using mentions to be able to allow them to see that in their notifications panel ~Brian~ I will say that I have many diagnosis, but that is because I have cerebral palsy, and there's a myriad of other things that can crop up because you are dealing with it. One of the things that I was dealing with in 2018 and 19 was having accidents all the time, or not being able to get to the bathroom fast enough in like summer of 2019, where I would feel it and I wouldn't be even able to get up to be able to respond, or I wouldn't even know that I was doing it until it was it was too late. When this started happening, I knew that I had to have some help, so that's when I started as a member of Daily Diapers, I knew that this is where I needed to be, because I needed to help and the support because I'm thinking to myself how is I going to handle it? so my primary diagnosis is cerebral palsy, known as CP: it is a neurological condition and not a disease. CP can affect your muscles your bones your tendons and other parts of your body as well as your brain and other functions. there are there are many different types of CP, but each diagnosis of CP is different and unique to the person who has it, and it is caused due to something happening like maybe at birth when the cord gets wrapped around someone's neck, or there might be something that is caused in the womb And then you're born with CP I'm not sure exactly how that works, but there are many different types of CP, many different severities, and it is dependent on the individual who has it. As such, I have many sub diagnosis that have been showing up showing up over the years. here in this form, we will be dealing with incontinence, and it's tied to CP. My primary diagnosis based on incontinence are: "Cerebral Palsy" " Continuous leakage of urine" "Fecal and continents with fecal urgency" I have also been diagnosed with diverticulitis and IBS. these conditions combined with CP can cause many problems. That I was continent for as long as I was from about the age of two until the age of 46. once I started having accidents and having problems where I did not have any idea what was going on and I'm able to respond fast enough, I knew that I was in need of help, so my first stop was daily diapers. I chose this site because the people on it are very knowledgeable and know how they deal with certain situation, how to deal with the conditions, how to deal with the semantics of having incontinence, making sure you have the right equipment and supplies, and the most important thing is the support of a loving community that doesn't judge based on the fact that someone is dealing with I made the choice in 2020 to go full time in diapers. This is because of all the Times that I would have accidents, Or when I didn't know what was gonna happen and when. as I started my journey, I went to the doctor and asked him for my help, got the diapers I needed, and I called my case management team to tell them that I needed some help, and to open the floodgates. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to get whatever I needed to make myself able to handle the physical aspects of dealing with incontinence the changing of the diapers making sure your clean making sure that you're not dealing with rashes and other problems, because as you're dealing with incontinence you have to make sure that your extra clean and other things that normally someone that just takes a shower for example would take for granted. Once I went to the testing phase of every single cloth backed ridiculous diaper that they supposedly make, I was able to finally get the Megamax. I basically had to tell Medicaid that I was dealing with severe incontinence both ways, and I asked for the diagnosis to be added, because I wasn't gonna deal with having accidents and not have a way to deal with it period Of course they wanted me to be tested, and all this, And I just basically said that I had CP already, and it is widely known CP do deal with incontinence issues depending on the situation, and I am dealing with such an issue, and I am the expert and so is the doctor, so they know what I need, so there's no need for me to go to urologist to be tested. once the doctor gave me the proper diagnosis and the paperwork to back it up, I was able to get the Mega Max's within 10 days, or at least they said 10 days and I think it was like 3. I think somebody kicked it up to the top, after I had done my homework and listed my top five diapers that I wanted, as asked, and the first one was the Mega Max and that was what they approved period Now that I've proven that I need them, I don't have to prove anything else and I can continue to use those diapers because they work for me. I also think that having cerebral palsy, and using a wheelchair for as long as I have, may have contributed to it, because I was constantly being pulled in and out of rehab centers to help me with extended therapy. As normal, they want you to be mobile and be able to do a lot of different things And that's why the urine therapy, But I feel as when I went in there I was making a huge backstep, they had me using my wheelchair all the time, and by the time a week passed I was probably ready for a diaper, because I couldn't hold anything at night, because no one would take me to the bathroom. Then this starts with a whole bunch of people telling me that would be easier for them if I wore a diaper, And then I was in diapers, and sometimes I would be given heck and sometimes it would be OK. Whatever happened, I was constantly worrying about what was happening to me as some of these people were really nasty and did nasty things. Because of me being in diapers 24/7 for almost actually it's eight weeks the first time and 2nd time it was for six weeks, I was basically in diapers for 14 solid weeks. This made it harder for me to be able to retrain and I knew and I knew my parents were going to be angry, but I just told them that that's what they did, and then they were fine with it, but there were other things that were traumatic. i'll spare that here But to say that incontinence fun, is NOT true for many, but when you were when you were totally incontinent and you have no choice because you don't have any control, you figure out ways to handle it. I don't know if my CP makes my incontinence worse because of the fact that things are changing in my body and my ability to be mobile is changing as well, but when I end up having accidents and I'm not sure what is going on or when it's happening, I'm always happy to have a diaper on, And because of that, I don't have to worry anymore, and I can live my life to the highest standard possible. So I think the reason why I'm incontinent as well as a diaper lover, is because of the fact that I was in rehab for 14 weeks straight, And the fact that I always like the feeling and the smells that diapers illicit. Many people would say that wearing diapers is a chore, but in my case it can be annoying, because you constantly have to be on the alert to be able to change, and sometimes things happen in places in situations that you wish it didn't, but when you don't have a choice, then you have to be able to make appropriate choices whether with your clothing, your equipment, your supplies, the way you handle your bathroom management, maybe medicine management, and being able to quickly realize when you should change, because you don't want to be hanging around in a dirty diaper for too long, for that causes skin breakdown and wicked diaper rush, i've dealt with that and it's no fun. I'm just so glad that there are people that accept that there are people that are incontinent! many times people would say that we were "lazy" Or other words that describe the situation where we wear diapers to handle our incontinence. Incontinence is nothing to fear, and incontinence in my mind is the least of my medical conditions that I have to worry about. I can deal with my incontinence, and I choose to deal with it using diapers, it also helps with my feelings and all of the urges that I deal with period Since wearing diapers is not a problem, wearing diapers helps me deal with those things, and makes me feel safe And my stress level has been brought down to zero or pretty close. I'd rather wear diapers for the rest of my life than have consonant worrying about things that I can't control: And in my case, incontinence is something I can't control, So the best thing I can do is to accept it, And accept that I need diapers, and accept that there's no shame in wearing them and there's no reason to feel guilty said or any of those types of because a diaper is there for a reason, here we can discuss that, and we deal with things that cause incontinence or other conditions. my CP in my mind is the main condition, while incontinence and the others listed on my medical profile are subconditions or problems that arise because of my age and because of my CP. I would definitely interested to hear others diagnosis and be able to determine how they deal with their incontinence or their symptoms and diagnosis. the one thing that's a real pain in the neck is my IBS or my diverticulitis because sometimes that can really come up on me and really cause me problems. i'm glad that there are people who do then continents other than myself, and I know I'm not alone, and that I have good friends that help me to realize that there's no shame in wearing diapers are using them or needing them. It's just a fact of life that you deal with. Brian
    2 points
  50. HI everyone, My Name is Nicky. I have Urge and Urinary Incontinence and I wear diapers 24/7 and my go to diapers are Northshore Mega Max diapers. I have been Incontinent since I was 21 yrs old and I have been in diapers since then.
    2 points
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