John Davis

I am particularly sensitive to pre-rash irritation in the skin folds of the diaper area. Airing out is a must to avoid irritation becoming an actual rash. To air out, I usually sit on a disposable underpad or on an open tabbed diaper. An advantage of sitting on the open diaper is that when done, or if there is an "accident," you can just tape up the diaper and get on with your day. If I am going to take an afternoon nap, that is a great opportunity to air out. However, I may experience "bedwetting" during the nap. I am on a disposable underpad, but could flood that, so, on top I place a very absorbent cloth booster pad. --John

Carer men’s incontinence briefs have a capacity of about 5 oz. That is good for dribblers but not for more significant incontinence. --John

Kit, do you know that reusable absorbent underwear usually comes with a rating for how many ounces they will hold? Look up the rating for what you currently wear and that will give you a basis to evaluate potential new products. --John

Good luck with your primary care doc. However, to solve your problem it is possible that you will need the skills of a specialist - a gastroenterologist. You might ask for a referral. I'm double incontinent with complex and serious gastro-related issues. Most issues required a gastroenterologist to adequately resolve. Mind you, when it comes to gastro issues, you may not find a perfect solution. I am sitting in a messy diaper while I type this as, from one day to the next, my meds cause me to swing radically between near-impaction to sudden defecation. The goal of the meds is to prevent impaction but often "overcorrect." Good luck from another retired military vet. I'm off to get cleaned up. --John

Frankly, I would gladly do without the front plastic taping panel as it limits the space between the tapes and restricts how we can tape. I can achieve a much better fit without the taping panel as the tapes are further apart and I can position them optimally. I do have fewer leaks this way. I would like to have a high-capacity diaper without the panel. --John

Yesterday I had an evening social engagement with family in a nearby town. To preclude the need to change at an awkward time and place, I wore an InControl BeDry Night diaper. Worn under my jeans, one could not tell that I had on a diaper. I wore the diaper for 9 hours by the time I was back home. At that time it still felt comfortable and had some absorbency left. I wore another BeDry Night diaper last night. It now is morning and I waited until after my morning coffee, news, and breakfast to change. I have had the diaper on for a total of 10 hours and, once again, the diaper feels comfortable. The diaper is rated for ISO 12,000ml maximum absorbency. Although I used a mere fraction of that figure, it did provide me with comfort and confidence. I have tried the InControl BeDry Premium with ISO 7,500ml absorbency and found it to be a great day diaper as well as suitable for nights. Next I need to try the middle of the three BeDry diapers - InControl BeDry EliteCare Premium - the one with ISO 10,000ml of absorbency. This diaper has almost as much absorbency as the BeDry Night diaper but at a more affordable price point. Has anyone tested this diaper? --John

Agreed. I just tried one and was dry and comfortable this morning. I have to wear my usual night diaper with a large booster pad and get better absorption from the BeDry Night. The very tall internal standing leak guards should serve those of us who also are bowel incontinent well. --John

Not overly hydrating is ok but restricting fluids is not a good idea. Concentrated urine can make you more likely to have an accident. Often just preparing for the bed wetting is the better way. I'm a bed wetter too. --John

The phrase "limiting hour fluid intake" permits you to take medications with a small amount of water. Don't skip your meds.

Inconinmiss hit the nail on the head. One day I was being examined by three highly qualified urologists who kept insisting that I stop using diapers and use a catheter. I explained to them that I had successfully used five different catheter systems but preferred diapers. I explained that when one has a failure with a catheter system it often is a catastrophic failure with urine on the floor (possibly on your host's expensive oriental rug). With a diaper I usually can hide a failure and that a failure for me is very infrequent. They refused to listen and I left. Plus, consider that I am double incontinent. The bowel incontinence would keep me in a diaper anyway. --John

I once had a group of three urologists coercing me to change from diapers to condom catheters. They refused to listen when I told them that I actually had tried more condom catheters than they knew about and that they were not a good choice for me. I have made them work but, when they fail, it can be a catastrophic failure with urine running onto the floor or your friend's expensive oriental rug. I usually can hide a diaper failure. I am not against condom catheters as they work well for many. I respect users as there is a learning curve that goes along with that choice. --John

Thanks guys. So far my new cat is still hiding during the bed and comes out sometime during the night to eat and use the litter box.

That's good news. Thanks for the feedback.

No, I am not looking for diapers for the cat. I am getting a new cat for the first time since I began wearing diapers many years ago. What can I expect? Will I find shredded diapers with SAP scattered everywhere? Seriously, are cats attracted to diapers (either fresh or used)?

Yes to reactions to medications - both toward diarrhea and toward constipation.

Zombie, IMHO fit is the most important factor and all others, including absorbency, are secondary. If the diaper fits you well, stay with it. One of my reasons for loving Better Dry is that it is the best fit for me that I have found. --John

Slomo, excellent review and great annotated picture! I fully agree re the lower tape problem. My go-to diaper is BetterDry for both days and nights and, when my size is out of stock (such as right now), it's twin Crinklz. A primary reason for my choice is the absence of a landing zone and the tapes "where they should be." Unfortunately, once we get above around 6 liters of maximum absorbency, gel block and damming seems to limit the practical use of much of the diaper's SAP due to the lack of wicking. The adhesion of the tapes on the BeDry diaper would not be a problem for me as I almost never refasten tapes. I tape my diaper and, once on, it remains on until 6-7 hours later. Yesterday (Christmas Day) I wore a Crinklz for 10 hours. Admittedly, I did not drink as much water as usual as we were at our son's house with family and I preferred to avoid a diaper change there, if possible. Does anyone see any possibility of reversing the trend toward landing zones on most quality diapers? --John

No, I don't mean the stockings you hang from the chimney for Santa Claus - I mean stocking up on diapers and incontinence supplies before the Christmas rush slows down the delivery channels. I worry about running out of essential items and not being able to restock while delivery is severely delayed. About this time every year I make an inventory of my essential incontinence supplies - diapers, wipes, underpads, powder, rash cream, etc., and estimate how long that supply will last. I figure I need enough to last until about the 6th of January (the twelfth day of Christmas). By then most shipping will be close to normal. Of course, that means I will have a temporary overstock of diapers and not enough space to put all of them out of sight. Just in case, I also keep a small supply of flat cloth diapers - the kind you have to use diaper pins to fasten, and cloth boosters. As they say, "If you wear cloth, you never run out of diapers." How about the rest of you? How do you handle incontinence supplies during the holidays? --John

CrochetGirl, I think you already have found the solution to living with bowel incontinence - prior planning and preparation. Regrettably, it takes good planning and preparation - and that requires a significant amount of time, as you already have learned. Unfortunately, we tend to lose spontaneity. You are impressively well organized and I agree with everything you are doing. Like you, I have a formal daily bowel program. I have neurogenic bowel due to an old accident and am seen by a SCI Rehab clinic in addition to gastroenterologists, etc. Unlike you, I have very few accidents as I self-administer old fashioned enemas every morning. These are traditional soapsuds or saline enemas from a hanging rubber enema bag, not the chemical Fleets enemas. I will emphasize that an empty bowel cannot have an accident. Once done I can (almost) forget about bowel problems until the following morning. I would rather do this at home than risk a bowel accident in public. I also will note that this is by prescription by my SCI docs and with the approval of my gastroenterologists. Be good to yourself. By that I mean consciously managing your emotional health. Perhaps half the battle to manage incontinence is emotional. Incontinence (and particularly bowel incontinence) causes stress and the stress can increase the incontinence. It is a vicious cycle. Give yourself a break, ie., pamper yourself with something relaxing or enjoyable. It does get better. With time we adapt better to the necessities of living with bowel incontinence. Many things just become "normal" like my diapers just becoming my underwear - not a big deal. Please continue to talk with us. Just talking can be helpful. I am sure you will hear from others here with similar issues. Best wishes, --John

Welcome CrochetGirl! I have both bladder and bowel incontinence. My bowel incontinence is the greater problem. I am old enough to be your grandfather and have worn diapers and coped with bowel incontinence for many years. Please feel free to ask anything or even to vent, as we all do from time to time. Please don't be embarrassed to ask about diapers, medications, rash prevention, odor control, etc. if they apply to you. I, and others here, have gone through the same issues I will note that you are commendably active in spite of having bowel incontinence. Keep it up. --John

Many of us have tried "special underwear" and found that for nighttime wetting they just are not adequate.🙁 Medication often has unpleasant side-effects. You deserve both peace of mind and a decent night's sleep. It is obvious that this has been very stressful for you. I truly can sympathize, having been there. You need to make the decision to change from "special underwear" to a real tabbed diaper. Many of us would recommend a middle-grade or premium diaper with a diaper cover. At night the diaper cover is important, particularly for side-sleepers. At night my diaper is a Better-Dry. Another great diaper is the Northshore Care MegaMax. Read through some of the discussions here about how we have approached the same problem. I am sure you will receive many different recommendations as we have found solutions that worked best for us. Best wishes and please keep us informed. --John

My OAB and level of hydration cause me to suddenly empty a full bladder rather than Brian's "short bursts." The Megamax diaper has extremely tall internal standing leak guards. We tend to associate those with containing bowel incontinence. However, they also keep pee in the main channel of the diaper (over the absorbent mat and away from the leg gathers) until it can be absorbed. As I am double incontinent, this feature is very important to me. Another diaper with very high internal standing leak guards is the BetterDry. It is substantially less expensive than the Megamax. Order it from XP Medical or LL Medico for very good prices. I also wear the Northshore Care Trifecta diaper cover that Brian mentioned. The diaper is made of PUL and is breathable. Although it is a bit more expensive, it lasts for a very long time. --John

David, for those occasions when you need extra absorption such as when you are away from home, use the North Shore Care Megamax diaper. It has a maximum absorbency of 6,500ml and a useable capacity of 48 oz. That should be more than enough. Of course, just to be safe, on top wear a diaper cover. I like Garywear or the North Shore Care Trifecta. --John

Even if the clothing you wear takes too long for you to remove it to make it to the toilet in time, that is considered functional incontinence. --John

Sorry you had to suffer through that. --John