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I think you are operating under a couple of misconceptions. First is that not all AB/DL are that way for the sexual aspects of it. Some are there for the stress release, or comfort, or even just as a strange hobby. Second, few AB/DLs actually want to be incontinent. Most just enjoy wearing and using diapers on their own choice. Some don't use them, and some don't even wear them.

Unfortunately no. But you can make a simple argument for it. It really boils down to total numbers of diapers needed per day times the cost of each diaper. Depends could be something like 12 diapers X $0.60 each- or $7.20 per day. Versus my Betterdry, which is 3 diapers X $1.75 each- or $5.25 per day.

Congrats on owning it, and double so for being so open about it. I also liked how you said it's better for pee to be out than in. And can attest to that as well. Not being able to stop yourself from going is nothing when compared to the life threatening pain of not being able to release it at all. At first I too also struggled with not wanting to be noticed wearing or even "embracing" diapers. And let me just say, a thin diaper that has leaked is WAY more noticable than a thick one that has done its job. Like you mentioned, you have to use what works best for you. And double so for using what's needed to be confident you won't leak. And yes, going from accepting incontinence to embracing diapers was big and freeing for me too. It really is a game changer for ones mental stability and stress reduction. I personally choose to wear Crinklz (with cute prints) instead of Betterdry (the same diaper but plain white). And while I try to never expose my diapers, in the extremely rare occurance someone sees them (dr appointments, massages, etc), I get far more compliments on the prints than any questions or complaints.

I was once in your same situation. Also with Botox, which made my retention much worse, and required indwelling catheters for a few months till it wore off. At first my pee drained into a bag, but I also wore diapers as I sometimes leaked past the catheter too. Eventually just letting my catheter openly drain directly into my diaper. And I too noticed I would get red and raw around the tip of my penis, with or without mastrubation. (FYI, all guys will normally experience size changes throughout the day, and were usually not even fully aware of it). It turns out my diaper was drying out the catheter when my penis was small, then when I'd get a size increase the skin would stick and rub against the catheter. I mentioned this to my urologist and he recommended applying a small amount of lubricant to the catheter at the tip of my penis. Doing so several times a day, or generally as needed to eliminate the friction rubbing. I found water based lubes didn't last long, and that petroleum jelly really works best. Eventually I ended carrying around some lubricated chap stick with me whenever I went out somewhere. If I needed to reapply some lubricant I could pop in to a restroom and use the chapstick. It worked great when "in a pinch". And yeah, applying extra lubricant before mastrubating made the experience much more enjoyable. Though I'll also add some advice my urologist told me. You need to make sure there is ample room in your urethra for your ejaculation fluid to flow past the catheter. So for example, if you could accommodate a size 20FR catheter, using a size 16FR catheter will leave enough space for accommodating the fluid. But using a 20FR catheter would not. And when you ejaculate, that added fluid will stretch your urethra, and potentially cause tears too. So talk to your urologist and make sure you're not using too big of a catheter. Use enough lube, enough times each day too, and you should be ok.

It depends on the brand really. Some types of plastic diaper have an extra tough tape landing zone that allow you to unpeal and restick the tapes many times. Other types have what's called second chance tapes. It's a double layered tape, with the first layer that will stay in place really well. But with the second layer that can be unpealed and resticked a second time. The first type is great for readjusting the tapes, but due to a limited landing zone the lower tapes are forced up higher on the back wings, at a middle area. I call this a "no lower tapes" design. Which unfortunately for me doesn't fit my body shape well and always results in premature leaking around the legs. Then there's the second change tape design. Though as mentioned, it doesn't really allow for readjusting the tapes as much. For this, it's important to pay attention how well the diaper ends up fitting. If it's good then try to memorize where the tapes ended up at. Use distance to the edges, the padding underneath, or printed designs to help with that. So the next time you put another diaper on, put the tapes in that exact same spot, and you'll get a good fit every time without having to worry about the tapes. And don't forget that each manufacturer and brand of diaper is made differently. So each diaper will fit differently too. If one type of design doesn't work for you, try a different brand of a similar design. That's why I've said this in the other threads. We can only tell you our experiences and give you recommendations. But there really isn't a one size fits all perfect diaper out there. You really do need to sample different brands and designs in order to find a diaper that will work best for its cost.

Hi I don't consider myself to be in the fetish crowd, but I have a few concerns. As well as I am not 100% mentally fine due to stress levels as well as feeling very self conscious. I believe each to their own as long as no harm to anyone, not breaking any laws or doing anything inappropriate in public or involving unwilling peoples. 1. Short Background history/reasons for me asking the questions I do, how I do it, and how often I am unsure if I come across as being in that crowd or wanting the incontinence. I don't, but I have social and communication issues that are linked to my Autism type 2 (used to be Asperger under DSM 4), ADHD, Bipolar, Numerous Anxiety disorders and social isolation (no friends, as well as being restricted to my bedroom by an evil stepfather who was abusive (which all specialists believe damaged my spine with all the kicks in the lower back while Im rolled in a ball trying to protect myself (can't get specialists to put that into writing he caused it as no issue until I had chair snapped in 2009 so no spinal scans prior) in every way but thankfully not sexual) as well as moving all the time (5 primary schools (those outside Australia Kindergarten to year 6). I had no Sex Ed even in High School (getting some relationship counselling under disability funding for sex, social and relationship counselling, as I always got kicked out of classes due to behavioural issues (My parents kept Asperger's/Autism to themselves only found out when I got kicked out and disowned due to a psychotic break in 2002 at age 15/16 as no one at all picked up I also had Early onset /childhood bipolar (let's say ADHD prescribed Dex and Antidepressant is not a good combination) as well as abuse from mother after she left evil stepfather. To top it all off, he was never charged for anything, even through Child protection documentation and medical and school reports. Still, he is even now a solicitor/lawyer (even had local cops and family GP state I deserved all the abuse as I had ADHD when police came out. Many apologies for the history lesson. I just felt I needed to explain myself, and it felt good to type it out as I am starting to let things go and get ahead in life (except for physical health disabilities this year). 2. AB I don't get the enjoyment? of being an AB or DL. I only found out when I googled for support information regarding incontinence when I became incontinence (retention issues due to nerve issues in the l2,l3,4, L5-S1 area (I guess I wished I could restart life and be brought up in a loving family and stay in the exact location growing up but have all the same friends and positive people/relationships in my life, but that's about it. I lie. I also like snapped-sleeved onesies under clothes as they hold everything in place, keep me from exposing myself due to plumber's crack)as well as keep my spine warm and conceal my Diapers. Would it be wrong if I liked some cute designs? Not to show it off (OMG, never in public; I would die in shame), I only take my outer clothes off (that is over the onesie) when at home due to comfort when I have my support worker who also helps me with personal care and clothes as I am dependent due to my deteriorating spinal condition. 3. DL DL? I don't get how anyone would choose to become incontinent without medical reasons, the cost, the stigma, the social norm, all the prep and worry of leaks as well as the hassle of carrying supplies, etc. Only after years of self-research in medical journals, refusal of help by professionals and no treatments available to become fully continent I wish I had 0 control and that I would be made medically incontinent (even though I didn't know it was overflow incontinence as my bladder would get overfilled then leak due to the damaged l5-s1 nerve that affects the bladder nerve to empty god knows how many UTI I have had (only the last 2 years I have had a Urologist take my situation seriously that is very progressive as well as one of the top urology Professors at least in Australia take me on through his public health department) even he was highly impressed with all the research I had done even though my terminology I have been incorrect or expressed myself incorrectly we came to the same unfortunate solution foley for life due to no operation will fix the issue. (Yes, he was the one that has been told I have an open Foley leaking into my diaper as my Bladder cannot handle a closed valve for extended periods. Otherwise, it will spasm and push everything around/past and become highly uncomfortable) The catheter bag would always slip no matter what we come up with, as well as diapers (I have bleeding hameroids due to the same nerve injury, and my gastrologist refuses to remove them as I have an endoscopy and colonoscopy which even the hospital couldn't even have me fully prepared for as I went in the night before due to severe Constipation I wasn't fully cleared by the following afternoon after the prep drink and two fleet enemas on the day of the procedure). Is it wrong that I like printed non-girly diapers over plain white? Also, I medically require Plastic back over Cloth back (Documented by the Urology Dept) and cloth-backed options here in Australia. Well best quality is Abena, and they were crap. I am until I learn how to tell wetness indicators to tell when the diaper is at capacity, as I am still learning. During my Indwelling Foley change today, I stated I don't have to change by the clock frequently but how the diaper's capacity is as well as comfort. I can only get a certain amount of Diapers per day funding. I am also very financially conscious (even though it is the government money/Taxpayers' money, I feel wrong and always try to get the best for the buck I can). As this is the environmental side, most if not all, fit this requirement (especially Plastic Backed are ABDL). There are 2, maybe three suppliers in Australia? No one sees them, and I don't show them off. I would be so embarrassed if someone saw me in public (it would offset my Agrophobia conditions again as it was when I had a foley bag holder strapped to my leg while wearing shorts as it was getting too hot here in Australia for pants an Elderly Lady jokingly stated she could see my underwear my Catheter bag as well as the connections and hoses occasionally leak or get tangled into furniture that was the last call so I call urology and asked about the open Cath (foley)into diaper which they had first to ask my urologist.

My issues is sever retention (til leakage AND/or UTI)to the point I need an ICD Foley to force my bladder to empty and cant sell cath due to physical and other disabilities so I have one openly leaking into diaper under urology supervision with high concentrated daily Cranberry supplement

The need for retraining makes sense, just like people relearning things after a stroke or another injury. Your body gets used to doing things a certain way.

Saw this on another site, and though I'd ask it here too. For those who wear a diaper 24/7, how many of you "air out". That is, to purposely not wear a diaper for a short period so your skin can be exposed to the air and dry out? And if you do, how do you go about it. I've found that doing this goes a long way in preventing rashes, as well as rapidly healing any current rashes. I even found a cheat short cut for it. After I take a shower, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. I always have a washable bed pad under me, but I also fold a baby diaper over the tip of my penis. They're cheap enough, and work great. Which catches my inevitable leaks, and the pad gives me a backup in case the baby diaper fails. But the real cheat comes from the ceiling fan. With it creating a strong breeze my skin will be completely dried out in just 5 minutes. Because really, who has an extra hour each day to just lie around in bed, or sit on the toilet.

Getting some fresh air on your skin is essential!!

Don't worry about ADISC. Others will tell you some of the admins there like to impose an authoritarian ideology onto others, no matter how much they may be wrong. And yeah, they see any form of embracing or wanting acutal incontinence as a type of self harm. But like you said, nothing is quite so black and white. I personally feel that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when it dumps oil on you then covers you with flour, I say make cookies. That is, when life forces incontinence onto you, turn it into a positive and embrace the few parts where diapers can actually be enjoyable. So congrats on embracing the DL side of things, even if it's only a small percentage. As I'm sure you can attest, where you're at mentally right now is far better than where you were at when you originally became incontinent. So YES it is more than ok to like cute things on the diapers you need. And YES your specialist is also right, even those who only wear regular underwear don't have to only wear boring white. So no matter the level of your physical disabilities or mental diagnoses you have every right to be you and wear what you want. (Within normal public decency laws of course). Ps. Me personally, with my incontinence I truly do need a diaper like Betterdry (which fits my body shape better than most other types of diapers). Yet I prefer Crinklz as I've embraced my AB/DL side too. (Which by the way, Crinklz is the exact same diaper as Betterdry but with cute babyfur prints added). There's nothing wrong with that, especially since I don't go walking around town with my diaper exposed. And for the rare occasion when a medical professional does happen to see my diaper, I get far more compliments than I do complaints.

Thanks for that Over on ADISC Forums. I posted the same thing under Incontinence and had to answer why I posted in the Incontinence Forum as well as other places accused me of ABDLness (wanting to become incontinent, which has never been the case it was the guilt or confusion of not being 100% urinary incontinent it comes with Autism style of thinking is black or white (psych talk) which has changed the last 10 years as in all areas of my life I starting to see grey) Unfortunately, starting, I considered myself 100% incontinent (rather ABDL) back in 2009 until recently, now 80+% incontinent and the remaining maybe DL (I guess acceptance of my incontinence) as up to just a couple of years ago hated myself and disabilities to the point of depression and until recently until I had the right supports (still working on supports) attempts of s********* which were a yearly in secret since the age of 8 or 9. I wished I could have accepted sooner or been able to embrace the ABDL lifestyle privately but cant as that would have helped I guess the enjoyment etc only part is that I am comfortable with good quality ABDL diapers as long as not too bulky as I now need absorbency. The following was my defensive reply. I don't consider myself to have either an AB or DL fetish. I am wondering if it's ok to like cute things and if and how I come across as AB or DL with my posts, as I have been accused of if this makes sense as I have issues articulating due to my isolation and disabilities. Regarding my Asperger's (DSM 4)/ Autism level 2 (under DSM 5), I am starting to receive help with my sensory issues as well as accept my sensory needs still exceptionally early on as I had to repress everything, growing to the point I would be physically abused if I did anything stimulating and looking like a "retard"(squinting, rocking etc.) by parents as well as still learning no Sensory Profile done yet. I got to the point where I refused to acknowledge any of my disabilities, e.g. physical or mental. Etc as now starting to use my funded mobility aids (spinal issues) as well as requesting help with personal care, showering, etc as I am a huge fall risk as well as quite painful to bend to shower, even to the point I wore Cloth Backed pull-ups for years 2009- 2019 until I was forced to use taped nappies as the continence nurse did a continence report for government 1st one I ever had due to the slippage due to my body shape (my hips or thigh one being bigger than the other so wouldn't stay up) damaging my skin I was so resistant to taped due to stigma of being for babies etc. Then (2019 - 2023) I had another assessment and was told the highest abena cloth backed diaper was also damaging and I reluctenly asked the continence nurse Bambino Ultra stretch (pure white) would be helpful as they were plastic and she agreed to trial samples (without her assistance regarding my reluctance babish I would still be in damaging cloth backed diapers that were sub optimal) then I had to go to the printed style due to supply issues with the only distributer in Australia so now I don't care if printed or pure white but I prefer not the boring pure white (I still get embarrassed) to the point my specialists say well adults wear different colored underwear why cant you. Now I have to find a non Bambino plastic back as the Australian Distributer refuses to order more Bambino and he is reluctant regarding Tykables until he knows what President Trump does with Tarriffs and how that would work out. I have enough Bambinos til March as well as needed day and night Boosters (but might have to change to Night boosters during day as I brought his remaining day stock,

Ok, sorry that last post was long. Now for explaining ab/dl and how incontinence and fetishes play into it. Which sorry again, is also long. First, yes there is a fetish aspect to diapers. Not surprising really, since diapers do cover that part of our bodies. And like the rule says, if it exists there's porn of it. Fetishes are all based on sexuality though (per the dictionary definion- look it up if you must). And not all ab/dl is sexual. From past polls on other sites, it looks like roughly 15-20% of the overall abdl community is purely a diaper fetish. The other 80% is a mix of AB, DL and/or other. It's all on a sliding scale though, and whatever anyone identifies as I say it's all good as long as it doesn't become a detriment to them or others. To get a better understanding, first think of gambling or alcoholism. Nobody truly seeks out to become an addict. Yet science has proven these people are genetically predisposed to become one. Me personally, I believe ab/dl is somewhat similar (NOT the same). We/they are pre-disposed to become ab or dl. Most often, there's a trigger event early in life that opens us to diapers, then there's no going back. AB/DLs can try all they want to purge diapers from their life, but for unknown reasons we're always drawn back, and often into a binge. Which only leads to feelings of self hatred and another purge. This binge-purge cycle can go on for decades, and the only way to get past it is acceptance and moderation. I've heard of a select few who were able to abstain for a decade or more, but that diaper abstinence only led to other replacement "addictions", which were way worse than wearing a diaper. In this aspect it is NOT an addiction where abstinence like gambling or alcoholism is possibe and leads to a better lifestyle. But for abdls it's more of an inate compulsion we are literallt forced to live with. Medical study has made leaps towards this understanding in just the last decade alone, but clearly more is needed. And for those who want to actively seek incontinence? Well, think of transgendered people. None of them ever seek out wanting to live as the opposite sex. Yet they are intrinsically drawn to it as a part of who they are. And not being able to live as they truly feel they should be is extremely detrimental to them, sometimes even leading to suicide (so get help if you are). And it's called Body Identity Integration Disorder (BIID). Again though, wanting to be incontinent is NOT the same, but I personally feel it's like a version of BIID-lite. And only by being incontinent have I been in sync with how I feel my body should have been all along. Though in my case it was a "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it the hard way". As for the AB aspect itself. These Adult Babies are people drawn to the feelings of love, joy and caring a baby typically receives. It has absolutely nothing to do with actual babies, but is what we ouselves yearn for. That might be because they missed getting it as a baby or child, to cover up or deal with abuse, or even just as a retreat from a hard adulthood. The reasons go on, and can be varied for every AB. And this aspect can be achieved on our own simply by embracing baby things, or getting into the right "headspace" by coloring, watching TV programs made for babies, and so on. Though having a "mommy" or "daddy" figure also helps, such as a spouse willing to role play with them. And DL is a diaper lover. This is literally someone who truly loves diapers. And yes, people can love innaminate objects or even the idea of that object. And to varying degrees too. From just wanting to experience the touch or feel of a dry diaper for a short while, to the full comfort and use a diaper can provide. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (24/7). And yes, like with any form of love it can and often does include sexuality along with it. This is also where DL goes further than a diaper fetish alone. So be careful you don't insult a DL by saying they have a diaper fetish. It can be diminutive and insulting. I won't go too deep into other aspects of the overall abdl community, but it also includes; Little boys and Little Girls (regression but not necessarily with diapers or too early of an age range). Caregivers (adults who want to care for others). Sissies (boys who embrace girly aspects). Diaper or baby furs (furries plus adult diapers and/or baby stuff). Genuine incontinence with or without being AB or DL. Transgendered (usually with some aspect involving diapers). And probably a few others I'm forgetting right now (sorry, not intentional). For me personally I'd say I'm medically incontinent, 20% AB and 80% DL, with the DL in me also being (and incidentally needing to be) incontinent. And the AB in me also crossing over into Furries as a baby fur. But heck, no rainbow is ever simple. And neither am I.

You're definitely on the right website for incontinence support. Without getting into ab/dl, let me say your doctor is incorrect. A sphincteroromy, or more lively several repeat sphincterotomy surgeries, will make you incontinent. I should know, I was in nearly the same situation you're in now. And I too was told no doctor would help me, not until I found one that did help me. I had the same L5/S1 injury. Which turns out that's the magic spot for causing incontinence issues. Mine was severe urges incontinence, combined with a neurogenic dyssynergia sphincter. Basically that means I'd get a sudden and painful urge to pee, and when I tried to relax my sphincter so I could go, it would automatically tighten instead. Years or pushing and straining to pee led to a bunch of other problems. So I was catheterized the same as you, and was also cleared by a urologist to let it drain into a diaper since I also had problems with the bags. Unfortunately I developed a urethral sensitivity from many months of constant catheter use, so I had no choice but to seek an alternate solution. The urologist I found to help me wanted to perform a stoma operation. That's basically bypassing the bladder and creating a new pee hole just below the belly button. This stoma needs to always be catheterized, which means needing the same collection bag or diaper. So that's one option for you to look into. Or secondarily, I pushed for a sphincterotomy surgery. There are two methods for this, either one deep lateral cut, or a more shallow but fully radial cut. The lateral cut weakens the muscle, while the radial cut removes a layer of the muscle all the way around. Both have their merits, but you can't do both at the same time. That's because they can only cut so far before bleeding becomes a major problem. For me, my sphincter had been strengthened so tight that it took one lateral sphincterotomy surgery, followed by two radial sphincterotomy surgeries. But wait, there's more. Our urethras actually have two sphincters, an internal one that is not consciously controlled, and an external sphincter that is controlled. The internal is supposed to automatically open as the bladder fills. This normally produces the I've got to go very soon feeling. And the external is what we release to actually go pee. And go figure, for me the internal sphincter was also messed up just as bad. So back I went for three more sphincterotomy surgeries. So, 6 surgeries in about 18 months. Which had also triggered the growth of a stricture. That's where the urethra gets so irritated it grows some scar tissue. And that stricture needed even more surgeries to try and remove it. Long story short, it took 9 more surgeries. The removal of my prostrate, and the removal of 1 inch of my urethra (which incidentally shortened my penis length and nearly killed my sex life). Obviously though, my case was extreme. Most people will experience incontinence issues with just 1 or 2 sphincterotomies. In fact, if you go to dailydiapers.com, you can search for "getting surgery in mexico". Two people had traveled there to get incontinence inducing surgery, and both were successful with just 1 or 2 surgeries. Though they also had to pay a LOT of money to have them done.