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  1. I think that very few people will hear it, even fewer will recognize the sound, and even fewer will say something to you.
    3 points
  2. I am very thankful for my diapers. But, it takes a lot of my time to plan, order, and inventory all my incontinence-related supplies. A con is all the heavy diaper trash that needs to be disposed. --John
    3 points
  3. After you switch to 24/7, your body will start adapting to the added heat retention down there. It took me a few years, but eventually it stopped feeling normally hot and sweaty. Beore that happens, make sure you are completely drying out down there at least once per day. Use rash creams and/or powders after that too. And consider using a diaper that will only last 4-6 hours during 5he day so you'll be changing more often.
    3 points
  4. For me, elastic waistbands are helpful. They make sure my diaper stays snug without getting too tight, and also help the diaper conform to my body shape. Of which helps contain any smells. They also help by allowing me to pull down the diaper for sitting on the toilet, then pull them back up into place. All without having to redo the tapes. I continuously dribble and can also attest to the standing leak guards helping, a lot. They reduce leaks around my legs, and really help to reduce leaks while sleeping on my side. I feel the premium diapers do have enough capacity and padding to take multiple floodings or all day dribbling for 12 hours (or more), so I'd say they are good where they're at. A few even go way beyond what's needed, but they're clearly for those who want to feel the bulk between their legs. Not really aimed or priced at those who want a diaper that will last through a work day. Wetess indicators are a waste. ANY decent caregiver will be able to spot a diaper that needs changing from across the room. Or smell it. And we certainly don't need them for ourselves. Plus, they only indicate when when the diaper has been first used, not when it's nearing any sort of capacity. So they don't even do any good. Indicators need to be left off. Tapes and plastic backing material could definitely be better and stronger. It's ok enough as is, bu5 just barely. I'd love to see getting rid of second chance tapes AND without needing a too-small tape landing zone. Three tapes per side would also be a big improvement. Though I'm sure all of that would mean more expensive diapers, which almost nobody wants. So that isn't likely to happen. You did overlook colors and prints though. While completely secondary to their function, I see plenty of request for more colors (especially blue or light blue), and non-babyish prints. Personally I like Crinklz though.
    3 points
  5. Personally, I find more comfort in a diaper that is thicker, or to you point fluffier. While the thin can be more discrete, I often times find that it takes a second for the firmly compressed padding to be ready to absorb everything I’m throwing at it. Fluffier diapers like Northshore MegaMax leave me with no fears of leaks and when dry are honestly quite discrete! cheers
    3 points
  6. An indwelling catheter is a closed system and to reduce or not be subject to UTI's you always have to keep that in mind. I wear the collection bag for as long as possible because changing the bag can introduce bacteria. I clamp the catheter before removing the collection bag and then attach the new one. I don't use a night bag because that means every morning you need to change bags. I always wear a 1000ml bag which is sufficient for overnight use. There are several bags that size which are undetectable even wearing jeans and the bag is almost at capacity. Also when I drain the bag I leave enough urine to keep air out. The sphincter acts in the same way. The bag is just a bladder outside of your body.
    2 points
  7. Interesting how long Slomo and Iken are able to last without a change. I stay well hydrated and am a heavy wetter. I usually need to change at about 6 hours and rarely risk going longer than 7 ½ hours. However, on long car trips if I "diaper heavy" I usually can last for 12 hours. Otherwise my changing habits are similar to Scarth. --John
    2 points
  8. I used to try out a bunch of different things, meds, diapers, etc. I've since found what works nearly perfect for me, so why keep looking to fix what isn't broken. That said, ALWAYS have a backup plan. Diapers get change around and "improved", or outright discontinued all the time. Already knowing what you can fall back on is a big stress reliever.
    2 points
  9. Do you worry that someone will hear your diapers? Perhaps the rustling or crinkling sounds many diapers make? And, it is not just the diapers themselves, our plastic pants generate their own sounds. My wife could hear a my pair of urethane pants from across the room.😱 Admittedly, with some hearing loss, I am unlikely to pick up on those sounds, but others might. I think many women have better hearing than most men. Of course, my clothing does function as a "silencer." Over my diaper I wear a thin cotton pullup for absorbency but it also acts as a silencer. My onesie over diaper and plastic pants acts as another layer, and, of course, my jeans. Nonetheless, sometimes I can hear a faint sound and worry that the sound may sound louder to others. In most active areas, the sound levels help to mask any sounds from our diapers. Fortunately, most non-incontinents who hear our diaper-related sounds are not likely to recognize them for what they are🙂. What do you guys and gals think? --John
    2 points
  10. Take solace it's not as loud, or recognizable, to others as it is to us. I actually outed myself once because the crinkling of my diaper was so loud to me I was certain a friend I was walking with had to of heard it too. I asked if he could hear that too, and his reply was hear what. I said that plastic noise, and he was like oh yeah I hadn't even noticed but what is it, a candy wrapper or something. To which I then told him it was my diaper betraying me. In hindsight I probably could have gotten away with saying it was, but I'm glad I hadn't. He took it all in stride without batting an eye. And later on he even asked me for advice, as his own father was becoming incontinent and depends wasn't cutting it.
    2 points
  11. Same here. I rarely leak in public too. Though when it does happen it's just an annoyance to me. But that's because I also wear a PUL diaper cover to contain any leaks, which help me notice it before the leak becomes outwardly noticeable. It's just a matter of stopping what I'm doing, removing the diaper cover, and changing my diaper. Before I started using Betterdry/Crinklz, and before I used a good diaper cover, leaks were usually bad and happened at least once a week for me. Which was with using Abena L4 (the best on the market at the time), and I hated it. Those leaks were always noticeable and required a change of pants.
    2 points
  12. I resent all the time lost for diaper changes. However, that beats the time required to have to go home to change wet trousers. As I also am bowel incontinent, think how bad that would be without a quality diaper - yuk!💩😱 I I hate the incontinence but appreciate the diapers. --John
    2 points
  13. Yep. That is a tough one. The inconvenience of it can be completely deflating sometimes. Sorry for your crumby day😒 For me it's when I am "in the zone" getting something done that i'm really focused on, and I can't tell that I am wetting myself until I am nearly leaking. Then having to stop and change is such a distraction and can ruin my motivation. Finding those windows of times where I feel both healthy, and motivated seem like they are few, so things like changing are energy and time spent that I wish I could be spending on other things. I feel ya.
    2 points
  14. Years ago, before high capacity disposables, I too had to switch to reusable cloth diapers. As a side sleeper, no disposable would hold up for me overnight. Even with a booster/stuffer. Then after after a month or two of switching my hips started hurting worse and worse. The added layers worked great to not leak, but the added bulk put too much of a lift on my hip. When betterdry finally the market it was all thanks to the ABDL community. And wow it was like a a godsend for me too. Now we have dozens of options.
    2 points
  15. Hello, thank you for your messages. I feel the same. I no longer have any control over my bladder but the urge to urinate every 10 minutes has disappeared, it has been a real relief. Diapers … at the time I did not want to hear about it. Psychologically it was difficult but I learned to accept it. a lot of people think that I took the easy way out and that I could fight my incontinence a little more. in a sense, they may be right because without results, I lost motivation. I know this is not a solution to my problem but I cannot stay hidden at home. I need to wear and I have to wear diapers and finally with a little experience, I manage to live my daily life much better.
    2 points
  16. I was at first, and with those old 1990s depends, I know for a fact people could hear them crinkling. Modern diapers a waaaay quieter. Though in a very quiet setting its possible someone could still hear them. Most anywhere else, forget it. People are so caught up in their own world they will not notice. Ever hear of the "gorilla test". Look it up on YouTube. Like Brian, I too recommend PUL pants for mitigating the rest of that crinkling sound. Either Gary Activewear, or Northshore Trifectas. They are great at containing leaks (even with disposable diapers), help contain any smells, and do a great job muffling any sound. Also, it gets easier with time. At some point you'll come to realize and fully internalize that diapers are not illegal, immoral, or even socially bad. They are necessary though, and anyone who has a problem with you wearing a diaper shouldn't be feared, they should be pittied. For it's their problem not yours. And once you get to that point you'll also stop caring even if they do notice.
    2 points
  17. It's good to see mostly positive replies here. Just to clarify, I too do not going around just telling others I wear a diaper. IF it comes up for some reason, then I'm pretty open about it. Personally, I believe it helps to dispell that stigma and awkwardness, one person at a time.
    2 points
  18. Not just believable. Scientifically proven. Too much stress is well known to cause all kinds of problems, physical and mental.
    2 points
  19. I'd have to agree. For both pee and poop. Anything less than 1" tall just isn't effective enough. 1.5" seems to work ok enough, and 2" just works better. The Betterdry/Crinklz I use have about a 2" tall leak guard, and I might have a urine leak 1-2 times a month with them. And even with my occasional IBS-D I have never had a fecal leak.
    2 points
  20. Do you ever hear anyone discussing incontinence? Surveys indicate that incontinence is fairly common but it seems that very few are willing to mention it. I live in a retirement community where demographics suggest that a high percentage of the residents must be incontinent. Nonetheless, no one - absolutely no one - has discussed it. Not only has no one "fessed up" to being incontinent, but no one has brought up the topic as affecting others. Have you encountered any discussions of the problem? --John
    1 point
  21. Iken, you are fortunate to be able to make it through an entire day on one diaper. --John
    1 point
  22. Hi Brian, also swim diapers for kids can’t hold urine. But to be honest - I think no one cares about that. Everybody is peeing in the pool… Just make shure that #2 don‘t comes out, because this means that (if it is a public pool) they have to close it and run a disinfection cycle. The only thing that actually works are so-called therapy suits. These are fitted neoprene suits that are constructed like dry suits and under which you can wear a normal diaper. The things are very expensive and from my point of view the absolute overkill. Many who have such a problem help themselves in case of doubt with anal plugs. Basically, you should just go to the toilet and empty your bowles somehow before you go into the water. That is usually enough.
    1 point
  23. I am so frustrated by medical practitioners who refuse to use the word "Diaper," claiming that it is humiliating for their patients. As Slomo indicated, it feeds the continuing stigma. If we cannot educate the doctors, how will we educate the general public? In many rehab and assisted living facilities the staff are prohibited from using the word "diaper." Too many people still feel that being identified with wearing a "diaper" means that they have lost their adulthood or maturity and somehow have reverted to being infantile. --John
    1 point
  24. Acceptance for me is being able to call a diaper a diaper and not a brief. Calling a diaper a brief, stigmatizes people like me who wear diapers.
    1 point
  25. Also, a minor history lesson. The UK and Europe originally had naps or sanitary napkins used by women for their periods. They adapted those napkins into nappies for babies. Or what we now refer to as reusable cloth. The inventor of what we consider the modern disposable first called them boaters but quickly adapted the word diaper. So a nappy is reusable cloth, and a diaper is disposable plastic. But yeah, they get incorrectly mixed up and used interchangeably by a lot of people.
    1 point
  26. Agreed 100%. Being able to admit to others you need diapers, and being able to openly talk about it is a huge step forward. Just as much as admitting it to yourself. I'd also add that anyone who refuses to use the word Diaper are feeding into the stigma that diapers should be avoided at all costs, they are not for adults, somehow wrong and giving up, you name it. By simply mentioning them by the correct name we are fo4cing that stigma to be dispelled.
    1 point
  27. I've been trying new things since I have been wearing diapers (about 3 years) If I hadn't tried new things I would still be battling leaks with crappy store bought diapers. I like having a lot of options as things (even since i have been around) change or disappear off the market. I also like trying to find the "Best" value with efficiency, comfort, and price. this can be all kinds of combos of diapers with pads and plastic pants.
    1 point
  28. David, where do you buy your diapers in France? --John
    1 point
  29. my life has a lot going on (most of it bad) sound from my diaper is the least of my worries I know it's loud, I even hear it myself sometimes
    1 point
  30. Not really worried / care about diaper sounds, but there again, I'm normally wearing cloth. I have recognized the sound of pee hitting the protective pants.... When I wet overnight (most of the time), I usually don't "finish" the mictrition cycle (i.e. voluntary controls are still in the relaxed state), so after waking up I can get a strong urge and start automatically re-leaving the bladder. And sometimes the first thing I notice is the sound of the strong stream flowing through the already wet diaper and hitting the plastic / vinyl / PUL / (or) rubber pants. So, yes, in a quiet enough room it might be noticed, but I think most folks wouldn't put 2 and 2 together and figure out what the sound was....
    1 point
  31. I might not have the best hearing but i believe that I don't make a lot of sound in a room with a lot of activity. Then, like others have said, if I do make a sound, who is going to put 2 and 2 together? If they do do have suspicion, why should I care. They would have to prove it, by asking me, or disrobing me. Either of those options are something nobody is likely to make. So no, not a big deal to me.
    1 point
  32. Which is funny because I think (some) of the same companies produce both adult and infant diapers. I think it again, goes back to customer demand. Because Depend sells junk and people buy it, there isn't a sense that they need to make any real changes to their design. There is a statistic that said something like 1 in 5 people struggle with overactive bladder.. out of that group there is a smaller group with some level of incontinence, and out of that group there is a smaller group that could use something like what we're talking. Since I am in that group, I would totally buy something that was as comfortable, and worked as well. However, I am a minority in the market. That is why I embrace the ABDL community. Because they demand bigger, better, and fun prints. I am thankful to be able to have the products available to me that were developed because folks demanded it. That is a fact that I wish more product developers, and incontinent people knew. If this was common knowledge more companies would be on that train and there would be a race to the best and cheapest.
    1 point
  33. Welcome. It sounds like you found a way to make your urges happen less often, but does the medication make the urges you still have less painful? I too started off with urge incontinence, but mine was so painful that even medication didn't help at all. I had other complications too, and ultimately chose to seek complete bladder incontinence. I can no longer hold any pee at all, but that means I no longer have any bladder urges too. And I went from needing diapers with painful urges and flooding my diaper, to a constant drip without pain but still needing diapers. In a way it's like digging deeper and to the side to get out of a tight hole. I'mstill a hole of sorts, but I'm much more comfortable. And I've seen a few others over the years that did similar. By oddly embracing incontinence, you can avoid that pain and inconvenience of flooding a diaper (and bad leaks). I'm not saying this is right for you (or anyone), but it may be worth considering if you're still having pain, urges, and/or bad leaks.
    1 point
  34. i dont really care if people can hear something. i do wear a cover or boxer briefs over my diapers. but no one has ever said anything to me about hearing them
    1 point
  35. Bienvenue, David. Congratulations on coping very well with your incontinence. We look forward to hearing more from you. Your English is excellent. --John
    1 point
  36. The garbage pickup system is changing here and causing me some headaches. The old system was: use our own cans, trash picked up twice a week. The new system is only one larger can, with pick-up once a week. They won't take any bags not in the can with the lid closed. As I'm sure most of you know, incontinence generates a lot of garbage, and mixed with our regular household trash and breaking down mail-order boxes we are finding it hard to contain all our garbage in the one can. There is not an official system to get a second can yet, but I have written the "questions?" e-mail address provided on the notices to ask for special consideration. With the heat of summer coming, I sure don't want a large bag of diapers sitting around for an extra week waiting for room in the can!
    1 point
  37. Which is a complete overreach and abuse of power. It's already well established by many organizations that normal human waste is NOT classified as a biological hazard or medical waste. It's just regular residential waste waste. (Though diapers are allowed to be tossed in with other medical waste, it isn't required). As per the CDC, WHO, webmd, and others. So yeah, it's a serious lawsuit just waiting to happen if some town our county decides to do that to their own residents.
    1 point
  38. Good point, Zombie. The awkwardness can work two ways. Those not accustomed to being around incontinent people often do not know how to handle the subject. They may feel embarrassed because they think we should feel embarrassed (although that may be incorrect). --John
    1 point
  39. stress contributes to my condition being worse or better so by proxy contributes to my incontinence. I wouldn't say stress, adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, cortisol levels that are too high, or too low, would not be a root cause but could be a factor. Adrenaline has the opposite effect on my body where i nearly stop producing urine as a result. I would say that there would need to be another underlying condition such as weakness in pelvic floor, or some type of nerve malfunction.
    1 point
  40. @Dan I buy all of my diapers online! what we do is there is a supplier that I get them from in New Hampshire, she ends up dealing with all of the paperwork that needs to be submitted, and only goes to my doctor if there's something missing. Once that's done, She orders my diapers my underpads and my boosters, depending on what I need. I may only need diapers, which is mostly what happens, but sometimes I would need underpads or boosters depending on the situation. I don't have a problem with because I have plenty of them, and the size of the diapers I use accommodate those particular boosters. Just like everyone else, anything that you get in the store is junk. It's not designed to be used as a diaper, even though they call them incontinence briefs. Only diaper that actually is worth its salt is a plastic backed one because there's nothing that will allow you to be able to unload a full bladder into anything, and if you have to have a bowel movement, I wouldn't trust it either. That's why I'd rather order online, and I know that I can trust my Mega Max's Brian
    1 point
  41. First, I normally use cloth diapers... But when it comes to disposables, I need something that can take a flood (at night, or possibly napping, or maybe miss-timing on a trip / vacation) and can be slipped on and off during the day when I'm mostly dry.... So the elastic waste band comes in handy for that. And as to too strong a tap, well, mega-max gets interesting to try to use in the day as it is "fun" to try to untape that to use the restroom... Agree that I don't need a wetness indicator. Leak guards (for # 1) are needed to avoid leaks....
    1 point
  42. Can diapers be too thin? I say "yes." However, thinness saves manufacturers money as they can cram more diapers into a shipping container. The marketeers advertise having an "extra thin" diaper as a virtue. We have seen diapers slowly become thinner over a period of years. This has occurred as the percentage of fluff pulp in the absorbent mat of the diaper has been reduced - or even eliminated. Fluff pulp helps keep a diaper soft and improves wicking. However, SAP absorbs and holds more liquid than pulp fluff. So, we now are seeing the all-SAP diaper that is crazily absorbent and does not leak liquid. The downside is that all-SAP diapers tend to be stiff and do not wick well (if at all). Of course, the thinness of the diaper will disappear as it absorbs fluid. So, which do you prefer? A diaper with more fluff pulp or all-SAP? --John
    1 point
  43. I too have worn my diapers to 100's of Dr appointments (not kidding). I've talked to CT and MRI techs about my diapers, and they actually prefer we wear one rather than risk it. Because if someone might need them but doesn't wear a diaper, that can mean the tech has to stop the scan, clean the bed, then restart the scan. It's more, and messy, work they prefer not having to deal with.
    1 point
  44. Ha, yeah. Agreed. Try saying that to a few urologists though. It will probably fall on dead ears. My underlying issue is/was neurological signals getting crossed, more physically so than mental as it resulted from a car wreck I was in. Not the same as you, but maybe somewhat adjacent to it.
    1 point
  45. It's why my medical records say I am incontinent and I am required to be in diapers. It's clearly stated on all my medical records. It's why any medical procedure, they know I have to wear diapers and they are super accommodating.
    1 point
  46. @Slomo this is precisely why my medical records have my incontinence diagnosis and my need for diapers clearly stated, because they might not want to give me a diaper, so if it shows up on my medical records which everybody in the hospital can see, nobody can question my need or my request, because it's there in my medical records and I do have the diagnosis feeling like to support that request. 😊 Brian
    1 point
  47. I agree that the best way to do any diaper shopping is to go online. no diaper that I have ever seen in a store has even come close to anything that is absorbent to be able to deal with anything other than an occasional dripping leaky situation. unless you can go to a brick and mortar store that sell that sells adult diapers and supplies, that has quality diapers like in Las Vegas, anything that is available to the general public rea''y dtinks. i've said it before and I'll say it again: if you're incontinent, you need a diaper that will be able to handle whatever you need to release. when you go to a doctor and the only thing they can give you because Medicaid won't cover it for the first time is a cheap diaper, you would probably want The best diaper you can get. Incontinent both ways and severely incontinent, any diaper that you find that the state will give you the first time out or you can find in a store will not qualify as a good diaper. When you go shopping for diapers, you have to determine what type of diaper you want, what type of diaper works for you, what they look like, or the style of it, and then you have to determine how much of the product you want. The only disadvantage is if you need to have them delivered to your house You don't want somebody that is not aware of your need for diapers available to pick up the package, or you'd have a bunch of questions You probably don't want to answer. If you're already incontinent, and people know about it, then it would be no problem They would just take the box and put it inside like my brother does when I get an order from North Shore. You also have to be careful because if you don't have a place to drop them that would be a private place, you may not be able to order a lot of product. you have to determine how much you can order, whether you order by the bag or by the case. I ordered by the case because I get 90 a month, but when you're dealing with a fedex locker or a UPS locker you might end up having a limit to how much you order. the local Walgreens down here where I live is the place where that locker is for fedex. Luckily I can have that delivered, and when I have it delivered I don't have to worry about going after it, I just have to remember to take care of what comes in and then get rid of the boxes. So yeah, the public package lockers from fedex or UPS or any other company that has a local package locker are probably your best bets. I think she's after Brian
    1 point
  48. You have to realize that study centered around older people who were not very mobile and were forced to use crappy medical grade diapers, or even just bed pads. They were completely new to this problem too, and hadn't figured out what works or not either. If I suddenltly had to live under those conditions I'd probably prefer death too. And I do suffer from IBS-D. Combined with some previously removed hemorrhoids and a bleeding anal fissure, I can barely tell the difference from gas and liquid. I've mostly learned how to cope with it and stay on a regular bowel schedule though, so accidents are rare. But they do happen. Yet with using good diapers and a good diaper cover it's not that big of a deal any more.
    1 point
  49. @John Davis@Zombie_Turtle@Susan In my mind, a stigma is simply something that is put in your mind when you are a kid. You end up having the ability to live your life as a young child and do whatever you do, and you use your diapers as normal. it is normal for a little kid to wear diapers and use them, it is quite normal for them to wet themselves mess themselves and to want to take their diapers off and run sometimes. There is no stigma attached with wearing diapers when you're a kid that you need them, Because you have people that support it, and you have people that understand it. When you deal with potty training, you end up gaining the need a potty train, if possible. some people take longer to train than others, and for those, a stigma could develop because somebody thinks that they're not trying hard enough, and they're putting these ideas in people's heads that they're not doing something that they should. They're using a diaper when they should be using the toilet, or their wetting their beds and should be using the toilet. These stigmas are based on what our parents think is appropriate based on our age and our ability. parents want us to be out of diapers as quickly as possible, so they don't have to deal with having to change them or purchase them, and sometimes kids don't quickly train, or they try to train, and they end up back in diapers for longer period of time, until they are ready. you have to be physically emotionally psychologically ready to be able to do it, otherwise our parents asking us to train is like asking me to give Mikey $1,000,000! I wish I could do it, but that's impossible! a kid has to be ready to be able to handle the situation, and that requires his body to be ready in his mental maturity must be ready to do it. if the kid doesn't have that ability, they're not gonna be successful, and sometimes even when they try, they fail. Stigma is based on other people's opinion as to what the norm should be for somebody that is say 4-5 or six years old. somebody sets the norm that says 5 year old kids don't wear diapers or kids don't wear diapers after so much time, and they go to school, so the first thing they wanna do is train you. And if you're having trouble training, that can be something that can be detrimental to the kid because they because they think there's something wrong with them, when in reality all it is is maybe their bladders are smaller and they need to grow, or maybe they're having trouble holding whatever they're trying to hold, before they get to the bathroom. You can do a lot of different things like cut the water, cut the soda, cut the caffeine, or do other things to help you at night when you're a kid, but if you are a guy or a young lady that needs to use the bathroom, it's going to happen, even I have made a mistake in what the bed a few times myself, but it isn't for lack of trying, And I can tell you from experience, that sometimes you miss, sometimes you don't hit the target, and you make a mess and all you do is resign yourself to the fact that you just peed yourself, or peed all over the floor. that can give you another stigma like you failed. I can also tell you from experience that potty training is difficult for some people, impossible for very few, But there is a possibility that that may be a possibility for people who have medical and have to wear diapers. For me I was trained early, but I was always prepared in case I had to use the bathroom, because my parents knew that my disability may end up precluding me from getting to the toilet on time, so they were always around to help me if I wanted to get there quickly, because my mom was saying to me to me that she would rather get me there fast, and have me not get hurt rather than having me worry about making a mess, because a mess can be cleaned up, but broken bones or other problems are harder to deal with. If you have people that support you like I said in my earlier post, stigmas earn is bad I don't believe, because the people that know of your condition and know why that you have these issues aren't there to make judgments on you. the general public makes judgments based on what they see or what they think is appropriate based on the norms of the community. in the incontinence community or the diaper wearing community, It is expected that people are going to wear diapers and, and we don't judge people's need or judge people's reasoning for using diapers. we come together and we help them. if they question themselves and wonder why, we try to help them deal with whatever it is that they deal with. we answer their questions as truthfully as they can be answered, and we always try to answer the question they ask, rather than to try to run them down a rabbit hole and tell them that their wrong order it's bad or whatever. the idea of being in a community like this is to support people and get support from people. even I have challenges like everyone else: for the longest time I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with me And why am I dealing with incontinence now. I was kind of relieved because I Thought that it would be a good idea to wear diapers, but I figured what will people say What will people think What would people believe. these are all stigmas that were brought forward to me to me after I continued to have accidents, and then I realized that a stigma is only what somebody thinks, what somebody believes or what some people use as a judgment poll to decide where a person should be, and whether a person should be wearing diapers or not. it is not the public's responsibility to judge the reasoning why someone does what they do, or why someone may decide to treat incontinence in a different way. it is the public's responsibility to be supportive of those that are dealing with issues that may be uncomfortable to not only the person that is dealing with it, but too others that are dealing with the same problem. it is not the fault of individuals that they have incontinence, but it is our responsibility as citizens to support them and help them to deal with it, so they can be and continue to be the best people they can be, supporting our community, because without support, we are in trouble. I don't care how old you are whether you are a baby, whether you are two years old, whether you're 50 years old, or older Call there are many reasons why people are dealing with incontinence, there are people that still believe the old wives tales: The ones that set ages that people should be potty trained by, the ones that set miles songs for child to be able to gain, and wild milestones are an important part of growing up, setting a milestone that says that a person needs to be trained by a certain amount of time, is only something that is probably set by our parents because they don't want to deal with diapers anymore. sometimes you have to deal with diapers regardless of what they deal with, and I'm glad that my mom was the kind of person that was a matter of fact, but always was loving and supportive, even when I was trying to figure out to myself why I felt the way I did, the fact is that incontinence is something that happens to many, and the way you react to it and the way you treat it while it is your decision, is the way that Help you to deal with the issue. If you are empathetic and understand others struggles, it is easier for you to be able to take it in hand and say, it's no big deal, people do have incontinence and they deal with it all the time, just don't worry about what other people say, do what you think is right, and we'll be here to help you and support you. I also think that stigmas were something that was put in our heads because they didn't want us to feel like we were going to get hammered with peer pressure because somebody that's older may wear diapers. Peer pressure is something that is very very very strong, And sometimes peer pressure is what someone needs to help them get over a bump in the road, And sometimes that helps a person learn the skills that they need, but sometimes pressure can be detrimental, or hurt somebody. This is why when I have young friends that have problems with incontinence, I always tell them that it's not their fault, and wearing diapers is not bad, I always try to pull the positive into what Is considered negative, And I always tell them that it's OK, Because your diaper will help you. it is not your fault that you have you have the problem that you're dealing with, and sometimes you just need to get bigger, and the problem will hopefully fix itself, but sometimes the problem does not, but that doesn't make a person any less of an individual because they were diapers, and the good thing about diapers is, you don't have to worry about wet pants, just your wet diapers and an occasional leak here and there. The thing is you have to turn a stigma into something that is not bad anymore. Luckily times have changed and people are more understanding of what incontinence is and why people use the things they used to deal with it. Today, incontinence is something that is dealt with with professionalism and tact, and it's not something that is made to be a negative where people would judge a person because of it period To judge someone because of incontinence is the bad thing to do, because even when somebody has their own issues, we all have issues of what we must deal with And sometimes incontinence is the demon that someone is trying to deal with, and the way they deal with it is to wear diapers or to deal with it in another medical fashion period Since this is an incontinence form, we will just say that people can use medicines or incontinence products, and it's up to the person who is dealing with the situation. This is why I'm always empathetic: there are many things that go wrong in life, and there's many things that are really bad. one of the things that I learned is that I have a lot of things that I'm dealing with My age, my disability, my mobility, my mental state, and everything that I'm dealing with. I'm also dealing with incontinence, and other medical issues. if you deal with incontinence, In my mind, the lowest of the things that I'm worried about, because I have a way to deal with it. Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale, because I have the right attitude, the right support, the right equipment, and I understand that it's not my fault, and I'm not going to pick on somebody or make them feel bad because of it. stigmas do that, and I think that's part of the problem, we need to get rid of these old stigmas that say diapers are bad. Let's put it this way: if you had a choice between wearing wet pants, or wearing a diaper and then wetting your diaper, would you rather have a wet diaper that you change and your dry pants, or would you rather have no diaper And wet your pants and have a whole bunch of mess to clean up? the answer probably would be that it would be more comfortable to wear a diaper, because that way at least you're dealing with the situation, and you don't have to worry too much. Sure you're gonna have to clean up afterwards, But if it wasn't for a diaper it would be a lot worse if you didn't have one on. The problem is that you have people that put stigmas in people's heads that make it sound like if you wear a diaper it's bad, or you tell a kid that wearing diapers is the most ridiculous thing, or pick on them, and that's what puts these negative connotations in their minds. if we can reverse this trend and tell kids that diapers are used by babies, but not necessarily everyone wearing are babies, and they can help you, and you reset their mindset a little, then they realize that a diaper is helpful, and not bad. When I started having problems at 46, including having accidents in my pants or in my chair, or even in my bed, I realized That I needed help and I ask the doctor for it, I also went to daily diapers, because, because I knew that there were people that were in my position and would understand exactly what they deal with. @Incont Understands exactly what people go through, and his community has been very very helpful to me and others. I knew that exactly where I needed to be, and I knew which several of the people by name because I had seen them before, and they have always been supportive. when I had the issues that I was dealing with, I knew that that's where I wanted to be, and I needed to be there, because I needed to understand what is going on or why I the way I did, and especially since they did have experience with incontinence. A diaper is a tool that is being used. In my case, the accidents were happening at such a frequency that I had no choice, and as stated above, things changed so fast, and I was basically spending more time in the bathroom than any time during the day, and most of that was when I was dealing with trying to sleep at night. I spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than in sleeping. my sleep was being interrupted, I wasn't very comfortable, and I know that there are people on daily diapers that could help me, and they help me to understand exactly what I was dealing with and why I was with it, and that it was OK. once I realized that it was OK, then I worked on trying to accept it, trying to deal with it in a way that makes sense, talking to people that have been very supportive, like a second family, and I'm so glad that I have this family, because some of the things that I've gone through people wouldn't understand, but people here do. The first or second time that I had a problem, I couldn't even move fast enough to get out of the chair! I would feel it about an eighth of a second before I was actually out of the chair, and I couldn't even get up or be able to put my hands on the arm rest of my recliner to be able to move towards the wheelchair, And I'd already messed my pants! when this kept happening, and I kept on losing sleep, I finally said " I've had enough, and it's time to do something, that's something was to join daily diapers, and I am here now, and I will continue to support both sites, because We are all a family regardless of why we are in diapers, we are all a family, and we deal with our incontinence in different ways, and hopefully My advice can be helpful here as well as over there" so as I say, stigma, I look you in the face and tell you too Go To Hell! Stigmas are made by others who may not understand why or how we can function the way we do or why we like something the way we do, and that is part of the problem. people judge us based on things that we have ingrained in our heads, and we need to be able to change the outlook of people who think diapers are bad. When you have incontinence, a diaper is like a savior, because it allows you to use your diaper and still move on with your life and live your life to the best possible way, although there are things that you may not be able to do as easily like swimming, but they're always good things about wearing diapers, because you don't have to worry if you have to release, You just have to be in a situation where you're around people that would expect you to release and not give you a bunch of grief overdoing it. if you have to release you have to release And that's that! @Zombie_Turtle Has it right: I say that because the most important thing is you need to be able to get on with your life! diapers are a normal part of my life, and several friends have said that they wished diapers were more normalized. I guess that is why there are some people like me who try to help people understand that it is normal to wear diapers, and I would rather wear a diaper for the rest of my life every night, if that is what it takes for me to feel confident for me to feel safe for me to feel like something makes sense to me, and it helps me to sleep! I don't know if I can even explain why it feels so good, but it's like having someone give you a wicked shot of something that removes pain, and let me tell you sometimes when you have to go to the bathroom, the pain is ridiculous, and can come on you like somebody snapping their fingers and pointing at your stomach, and then it's like Mount Saint Helens erupting, and then your diaper is your savior because it will catch it! because of me wearing diapers, I can now sleep all the way through the night, and when I talk to my doctor about it, I told him how much time I was spending in the bathroom every night, and he was concerned about my sleep habits! I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can, and as far as I can tell diapers are helping me to stay that way, and let's hope that diapers will continue to help me, because I don't wanna worry about it anymore, worrying about it causes more trouble than it's worth, you just have to be able to deal with it, and what I've learned is that the best thing to do is to remove as much stress as you can. Diapers not only help me with incontinence, but they help me with the stress and everything that I deal with in my life. people may laugh at me and say that that's ridiculous, but let me tell you having the diaper on kind of puts you in a position where you don't have to worry about it. You have your diaper on, and I always think of it this way: when you have to release, you are releasing all the stress and bad things that happen in your life in your diaper, which is designed to catch all of that, you change you clean up you throw it away, see you throw your stress away and you don't have to worry anymore, and every time you have that happen, your diapers ready. sometimes the stress gets out It gets out of your diaper into your cover, sometimes it leaks onto the floor, but you get rid of it and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I never realized how much diapers helped me to be able to lower my stress level, And that seems to also be something that I want to do. I'm sick of my heart rate being over 130 beats a minute or higher because of something stupid that I think of that has no bearing on anything and makes no sense. Diapers make sense to me, and I will continue to support those that need it.
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  50. Northshore is the gold standard for which other diapers are judged by
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