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I'm in the USA so I can't help you there. But welcome. What caused your incontinence? Got anything related to it you'd like to share? Or have any questions?

Yes. I did use a condom catheters before. I had it hooked up to a leg bag, which was very inconspicuous. But because of the catheter coming loose I started off with also wearing a diaper, just as a backup. Then it hit me, if I'm going to wear a diaper anyways, then why was I even bothering with the catheter and extra bag.

I saw my urologist again. My urodynamics test concluded that I am retaining urine, but oddly so. I sometimes leak a little at times, but mostly retained. And there is no feeling or activity in my bladder, plus I reached 500+ ml before getting an urge. And once I pushed just a little, that got the pee flowing until nothing remained in my bladder. My cystoscopy showed there are no obstructions in my urethra. And they put some water in my bladder to visually confirm it does not activate or contract. I also didn't leak any of the water when they removed the scope. Only after standing and coughing did my bladder fully empty. We talked possible options again. I said my biggest concern is my bladder filling and me getting painful urges, as well as the interrupted sleep. I also confirmed I do not want a diversion with stoma, and that I would prefer to just empty my bladder automatically. My urologist said she isn't sure what can even be done. The urodynamics confirmed at least a partial obstruction, but the cystoscopy confirmed no obstructions. Stents are still not an option as the existing ones on the market are no good for long-term use, and any possible new ones are still under clinical trials. She has an internal conference meeting next week where they discuss "difficult" patients like me. I said it was ok for her to talk about my case, and get possible feedback from other urologists. So all I can do is hope something will come of it. But I'm also going to seek a second opinion from my VA urologist next week. So we'll see.....

Thanks. Mind if I DM you about a separate question regarding DD?

I should also say I know a bladder diversion with a stoma (new pee hole in my abdomen) is one option. I'm actually quite happy using diapers though, and I finally get Megamax diapers free from the VA. Also, I really don't want to have to mess with catheters ever again. So for me, that option is already out. I've also looked into urethral stents. Current mesh nitol (nickle-titanium) stents cause encrustatuon and promote strictures. They can't be used for more than 1-2 years before they have to be surgically removed. There is a new generation of closed-cell biocompatible stents being tested. They "might" be another option, but my current urologist doesn't use stents due to their previous limitations. So it looks like that may not be an option either. Bladder botox is also out. I've tried it before, and the botox only makes things worse for me. The body will also adapt a resistance to botox over time. So at best it's a temporary "bandaid" anyways. Meaning botox is also not solution. Just spit balling on this one, but is it possible to sever the nerves to the bladder while otherwise leaving it intact? That wouldn't exactly solve the problem of it starting to fill up every now and again, but I already start leak again whenever any pressure is applied. It might completely remove the painful urges though. So maybe it's an option? I'm not sure. What other options am I missing?

Ok, so here's what I have going on. I have severe urge incontinence, meaning whenever my bladder starts filling up I'll get severe pain out of nowhere, that I need to pee asap. But due to a Detrusor Sphincter Dysynergia, whenever I tried relaxing to pee my sphincters would clamp down instead. So about 10 years ago I underwent a series of sphincterotomy surgeries to fully open up both my external and internal sphincters. That lead to strictures, which ultimately led to a radical prostatectomy and removal of an inch of my urethra. Ever since then I've been functionally urinary incontinent. Since my bladder doesn't fill up I don't get those urges. Except whenever I sit on a flat surface or lie on my side, that seems to clamp off my urethra and allow my bladder to start filling again. Eventually I'll then get another severe urge, which often wakes me up at night. A simple shifting or deep breath is often enough pressure to get me peeing again, but the pain and broken sleep has already disrupted me. So, do you think I should do anything to try and resolve my problem more? And if so, what? Or am I chasing after more than I should expect, and be happy I'm at least stable and able to pee at all. FYI, I've already just seen my urologist about this, and we're starting off with a series of tests to see exactly where my baseline is at right now. The actual course of action will be discussed after that, but I'm wondering what options I may have before hand.

Hi. So what brings you to here? Got any questions we can help with, or advice/experience related to incontinence?

We can develop various food issues, or even issue from not eating the right foods. Anything processed or oily will give me the runs. And not enough vegetables will give me constipation. But even just generally bad eating can induce constipation that presents as diarrhea. This is because severe constipation can cause a partial blockage, which only lets loose stool pass. This presents as occasional or even constant diarrhea. And taking a stool softener (like Miralax) will help make things more consistent. Literally eliminating the diarrhea by eliminating the constipation. Though as you've found it also "breaks the dam" and lets everything pass through in a hurry. This is just something that can happen to people as they age. Our bodies aren't as resiliant as they used to be. It also happens to anyone who needs to take opiot pain killers, especially for chronic pain (like me). I do know you can offset it from happening by drinking more water. And also by taking in the right anount of fiber. The obvious vegies are best, but even just a couple of fiber pills will help too. Or conversely, if you get too much fiber (or red meat), then reballance your diet accordingly. And that daily low dose of laxative? It just makes sure everything keeps moving as it should. And once you get past any initial blockage, a low dose shouldn't affect you as much. Only enough to make sure it doesn't keep getting blocked. But if you do keep getting constipated, and the laxative keeps causing a case of the runs, then again you need to reballance your diet. If that's the case, keep taking the laxative and go back to your nutritionist.

I've understood that's quite common. Anyone who's had to deal with incontinence or bedwetting well into their teens, has it come back as an adult. And the longer you had it before becoming dry, the sooner it's likely to return. It's not exactly a well studied malady though, so I couldn't tell you why that that is. But I've heard enough accounts of it to know you're far from alone in it.

Welcome. What type of Nappies (or Diapers) do you normally wear? And have you figured them out pretty well, or is there anything you're still learning to deal with or have questions about?

I'd also say ATN is the bare minimum for a still functional diaper. Molicare is ok enough too. They'd be worth it if free, but I wouldn't buy one unleass it's an emergency. I've also noticed a trend of adult dayroom and daycare facilities. There mostly just places where older people can socialize and play games, but also talk to an aid if needed. And yeah, I'd bet that diapers are quite common in day facilities like them.

I could never do that to someone else. That's why when the VA sent me Depends and Attends I threw them right into the trash where they belong. I even saw the trash guy stop and look at them. He pulled out his phone for a minute (presumably to look up their worth), then even he tossed them into the trash truck. And you know they're worthless when there worthless to the trash guys. But a surplus of Megamax? Now those I'd never toss out. Donate at the very least, or possibly resell them.

Exactly. A case of Megamax is 40 diapers. Since I only need 60 per month I was fully expecting 2 cases, or 80 diapers. That would give me a few extras, but 120 IS overkill. Hence why I'm thinking I'll build up my stocks for a couple of months. After that I'll ask to switch over one of the cases to get boosters instead. Which I need to increase the Megamax's capacity for my overnight nocturnia. Either that, or just keep the overkill extra supplies. The pharmacy has already told me that once I get them, the VA doesn't care what I do with them. Even donating or selling them off. And a case of Megamax could easily sell on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace for $50 or even $100. Ebough for me to buy the boosters AND pocket a little extera spending cash. Not sure I want to go that route though. Just because of the ethics of it.

Same, but I literally told them how many I need. And they made it out like cost was such a huge factor. I can see them giving me a few extas per month, but literally double? It makes no sense.

Cross posting from here: Thanks for the info, it helped. It was still an uphill battle though. Too many cheap diapers had to be ruled out first. My urologist had to re-confirm what I needed several times. I had to talk to the pharmacy to re-confirm what I needed a bunch of times. And I had to file a complaint with the advocate. Not to mention waiting 9+ months to get a committee tocapprove them. Like seriously, having a kid would have been easier and faster. But like the title says. Veterans CAN get diapers from Northshore.

Yes. I worked in a quiet office and hid my diapers for over a decade. And my coworkes only found out when I told them about my incontinemce. There are a few things you can do for discretion. First, skip the pullups. They are inteneded for minimal or light incontinemce only. They WILL leak. Second, a thin diaper that has leaked is WAY more noticable than a thick one that has done its job. So wear the level of protection you need, plus a few hours of capacity. Because the closer you get to a diaper being at capacity, the more lilely it will leak. Betterdry or Northshore Megamax are among the best for total use and maximum leak protection, and may not need changing while at work. Though if you want less capacity/bulk with changes more often, diapers Like Megamax lite or Abena x-plus may be a better option. Test just 1 bag out at home first. Exact fit, absorbency, etc my work better for sime diaper versus others. Third, wear a good diaper cover, preferably PUL pants like Northshore Trifecta or Gary Activewear. They will contain leaks for a short while and help you notice them before they become outwardly noticable. Fourth, consider wearing a plain onesie. They will look like a normal tee shirt and will ensure nobody will get a peek at your diaper’s waist band. Or at the very least, switch to long-length shirts. Either one should be enough to reduce the chance of a diaper waistband sticking out by accident. Fifth, black is your friend. Pants or shorts, sized up to be somewhat looser around your mid section with the diaper on, and with a belt to keep them up. This will help hide any shadows or outlines from the diaper, and will almost completely hide any leaks. Sixth, keep a simple backpack, laptop bag, toolbox, whatever, in your vehicle. It should be the type of bag you'd commonly see around your work. In it, keep 2-3 spare diapers, a change of pants (which should all look the same), and a few small black trash bags (for discretely disposing of a used diaper). Maybe carry any other diaper supplies you think you'll need, like rash cream or powder. Personally I've found you can easily skip them for 8+ hours in the middle of the day. But you may want to carry some packing tape or large safety pins in case you need an emergency repair to a diaper. The bac can also double for carrying your lunch or a laptop too. Giving the perfect excuse for having it around so often.

Yea! The VA just approved my getting Megamax! But wow was it difficult. @Valentinesstuff, thanks for posting the procurement info, I believe it helped. Though my urologist specifically prescribing the Megamax, and my advocate complaint, probably helped the most. It seems the review approval committee was most concerned with their cost, and why I specifically needed Megamax. They had a few other questions too, and actually had the urology assistant call me. She was then relaying the info back to them in real time. It took some explaining that they can cost less due to far fewer changes. I told them to look at the monthly total cost, not the per-diaper cost. And also confirmed that yes, they will hold a full 2 liters. Actually 2600ml, but real world is less than lab tested. Which 2+ leters is what I need for my nocturnia. I'll get the first drop shipment pretty soon, and this should save me $200 a month! Which is great because my stock is starting to get low. And my only "problem" is I need about 60 diapers per month, but they want to send me 120. Once I've gotten them for a month or two I plan to go back to my urologist and put in a request for the additional boosters. Which I also need to wick and spread my pee to other areas of the diaper (and to increase the usable capacity some).

Geeze. It's like the VA is purposely trying to f##k with us. They send us something that's barely even servicable for what was requested. So we complain and try to get something beyter. Then they send us something even more useless. But not just send us something to test out, they send us dozens or even hundreds the very first time. It's such a massive waste in materials and cost, it wastes our time, and even tests out patience. Gods, I wish there was a better way to get throug to the VA, and make them understand whate we actually need. Or at least for them to understand when we say thin and cheap doesn't work, thrn please don't send us something else thin or cheap.

Yes, some glues are going to be better than others. But the problem is if they make the glue strong enough to hold during an erection and also hold against pressurized pee, then it will also be too strong to remove easily enough. It helps greatly if you shave off any hairs on your shaft beforehand, but even that only goes so far. They shouldn't fail too often, but they will fail and once is too much when it's catastrophic. It's just one of those live and learn things with external catheters. Because once you've lived through them failing that badly, you'll learn.

That's good to hear. I've emailed my senator a few times. Hus assistant seems to have dropped my requeat and hasn't done anything beyond an initial requeat to the VA. She got a brush-off from them and apparently hasn't tried again since. Though I was able to find the contact info for a VA inspector general at .1-800-488-8244. For reporting mishandling of information malepractices and lack of care. We had a nice chat about them loosing my service records and the pharmacy dictating what the doctor can and cannot provide to me. So hopefully that will go somewhere.

Unfortunately I do have experience with external condom catheters. They are pretty good- at first. They are comfortable to wear, but only until you get a few normal size changes. Not even an erection, just enough to try and stretch the latex and/or your own skin. And yeah, get an erection and the latex stretching with the glue trying to keep everything tight can get prerty bad. Made worse when the glue starts pulling and coming loose. After a few times of size changes, the glue holding it on will become weak. Add in any sudden peeing urges, and there will be enough pressure to make the catheter pop loose or even fully detach. And when that happens it's not just a small urine leak escaping, it's everything you're producing AND everything in the collection bag too. You will have to deal with a catastrophic leak. Not just a puddle either, a small pond. And Murphy's law usually dictates it will happen in a public place at the worst possible time. Even with any complicatikns or failures, there's also the catheter tubing and collection bag. And just like with indwelling foley catheters, the tubing sometimes kinks and backs things up, or sometimes can even snag on something when showering or dressing. And those collection bags never stay in place very well. With them migrating or sagging with the heavier they get. I found an elastic leg bag sack holder works way better than the usual elastic belts, but only to a point. You're certainly welcome to give condom catheters a try, but honestly I'd recommend you skip them entirely. Diapers are much easier to keep hidden, are less noticable, and have far fewer catastrophic leaks.

At least it sounds like your pharmace is actually trying to get you the duapers. My VA pharmacy seems to have gone into a full denial of goods inngeneral. I'm probably gonna have to appeal their decision to an appeals judge or something. It's crazy how inconsistent the VA is just based on a veteran's location alone.

I can see how a lot of people would like a color that fades from peoples minds. Realistically though, if you want a truly stealthy color, then it needs to match the color of your pants. Grey pants are a thing, so this still works. But when you consider possible leaks, grey is NOT your friend. Black and dark blue are. Still, kudos for Sunkiss on giving people the option.

I also filled it out. And my biggest advice is this. A thick diaper that has done its job is way less noticable (and less stressful) than a thin one that has leaked. Meaning, it's not enough just to use a proper diaper for urinary (and bowel) incontinence. You need to use a diaper that is thick enough to not leak. And the "expensive" diapers tend to need fewer changes too, so they can actually cost less than "cheaper" diapers. AND they have better acquisition and holding so you actually feel less wet and have healthier skin. And did I mention needing fewer changes, with less leaks?

Generally speaking, a diaper will work better if they extend up to your actual waist line (near your belly button). Having a large gut might make that unrealistic for some people though. And if you're not leaking now, don't worry about it. Very high activity or movement, like with running, is going to be hard for any diaper out there. And there is no one diaper out there that works for everyone. But you may actually want to consider a thinner and more flexible diaper or even a pullup for just while you're running. They won't last more than an hour, but that's usually all you'd need them for. And, having to change after usually works out well with needing to take a shower and get into a clean diaper afterwards. A word of warning though, don't go too cheap on the workout/running diaper. You do still need them to last long enough after all.