Brian

@Dad Welcome to Incont.org!! I don't think that you, as his dad "gave" him, as you say, this condition. It may be due to the size of his bladder, or the strength of his pelvic floor muscles. It could be that there is some sort of reason why your son is having this issue, but I doubt you "gave it" to him, he just may have the condition you do, and I would definitely check with his pediatrician to see if there is a reason for his wetting issues. He may have some information for you, and could give you and your son guidance, and can give you options and possible other assistance. I also would tell your son that it's OK to feel the way he does, but not to worry, because there are times when you could outgrow the problem. There are instances however, when this may not happen, but there are plenty of kids that have urinary incontinence issues, and they have to wear diapers simply because they don't have the best control, or they don't have any control at all. I am not sure if there is anything else I can tell you, but wearing diapers isn't really that bad, because you will at least be able to hopefully manage it appropriately until you are able to have him see his doctor. There are many ways that they can help him, but diapers are ONE of Many options! I am incontinent myself, and have been disabled all my life, so diapers are the solution for me 🙂 Good Luck, and keep us advised 😉 Brian

@TooManyJaffaCakes Your nerve endings may be getting worse, but Take heart: If you HAVE to release, you do NOT want to try to hold it back, hold it IN, or impede the release. If you have to go, then you should go, and not worry about it for the moment, as you are having difficulties and your situation kind of reminds me of what used to happen to me. My Mom used to tell me that I should not hold it in, and also NOT wait until I have no choice and would explode, as that can hurt your insides. If you need to use pull ups or diapers, you should not feel badly, because most times, meds can be helpful, but most times, all they do is to cause issues, or make things worse, and in order for you to find the right solution for your situation, it could take time, so do not dispair, as I have decided, because of my CP, that with my advancing age, its easier for me to use diapers due to the fact that I have been dealing with incontinence on and off all my life, and 2019 was the turning point, where I NEEDED to get help, and I asked for it, I got it, and went 24/7 in 2020, after having accidents get worse in august of 2019. when I did that, I joined DailyDiapers, because it is the ONE place where I knew I would be able to get help and support without being judged. On this site, it is always my aim to help as many people as i can, and I will let you know that you always have support should you need it 😉 Good Luck! Brian

@Scarth@Slomo@John Davis@david49 I agree with my esteemed colleagues: Using Megamax Diapers for total, HEAVY incontinence, work right because you put the diaper on the right way. Choice of what Diaper you use will depend on WHERE YOU are, WHAT YOU are doing, and that is important. If you have a set up where you can change often, this will work for you, and you may NOT have to worry about changing if you can do so at a certain location, at a certain time every day. If you work this type of job where you have easy access to the bathroom, you MAY be able to get away with a NS Supreme....... But lets break this down: A NS Supreme is a Great Diaper, and so is a Megamax. Remember this now: YOU have to have a diaper that works for YOU, and what one person uses as a Diaper may not work for someone else. I used to use the Supreme, but then, when I got the state to cover the megamax, it was like being in my late grampa's Caddy. It was like being inside a pillow, and you don't have to worry about it's ability to hold - BUT I don't care what diaper you use, you have to be able to open your "valve" and do short BURSTS, or you will FLOOD out - This can happen to All Diapers: You have to be able to control how much urine you release: Meaning, don't just let it go like a Super Soaker, or that diaper'll be as heavy as a bowling ball 🙂 I Use the Megamax: I'm Incontinent BOTH ways, and it is classified severe: for me, I NEED that diaper to be able to hold most of what I release, and it lasts 8-12 HOURS, while the Supreme may last a little less, but a Megamax, is DESIGNED for severe bladder/bowel incontinence, while the Supreme Briefs can last UP tp 8 Hours, and this, again, depends on the persons bladder and bowel habits, and how much that is released: if you need full nighttime protection, the Megamax will be ONE choice: This diaper is **supposed to** get big/puffy, because it is absorbing everything you are giving it, and the Supreme has the 8 hour limit, so you do have 2 diapers here, you would probably want a diaper that is middle of the road, and have the absorbability and oder control, but EVEN THEN, you will have to watch the diaper, as it can get filled to capacity and may leak, and that is why @Scarth was sayin' he uses the Garywear Incontinence Briefs: These have been substituted and discontinued on the Northshore site, and Now you can get the Northshore Trifecta (Northshores PUL Diaper Cover): Northshore Trifectas are available directly from them, and I've been incontinent since 2019, and Northshore really knows their business, and they have very knowledgeable staff, and they can answer any questions you may have. Good Luck, and let us know how it goes 🙂 Brian

@emily1890 I agree with my colleagues! Unfortunately, there are people in this world who think that way, and they are the ones that need a reality check! It's bad enough when you have to use the bathroom, it's bad enough when you are incontinent and you can't hold it, and it's even worse when you have to release and you have somebody that thinks because you can't use the bathroom like everyone else, that there is a problem with you! Anybody who thinks that being able to use a bathroom like everyone else is a problem needs a reality check real fast! There's nothing wrong with you emily, nothing wrong with you at all! The problem is it's people that have this type of attitude: very few people in this world when they're born have any control that I know of, and if you're lucky you'll have control of your body functions from the time your party trained until the time you are well into your 80s maybe your 90s, depending on your situation. Anyone who would think you are the dirtiest smelliest thing alive needs to recheck their own self! Every one of us from the time war born until the time were adult has gone through times like this where we get sick or we have no control over our bladder or our bowels and we make a mistake and we wet or mess ourselves on the floor, or maybe have accident on the seat or anything else when you're sitting down, and sometimes that happens. No one has full continents at all times and no one is expected never to have an accident! Anyone who thinks that because you can't use a bathroom like everyone else that you are the smelly as dirtiest thing alive needs to be slapped repeatedly at high velocity! I'm not a guy that's violent, but I can't stand it when somebody tries to make something worse than it actually is or makes something of something like this, because it's not your fault emily, it's not your fault at all! That you should get right out of your head right now: anyone else who thinks that way needs to have a reality check real fast as I said! There are many times when I have to bite my tongue, but in this case if I had been standing near that I probably would have taken one look at your friend, and then tell her or him that he or she should have more compassion and more empathy for the condition that your friend is dealing with, because it's not funny and it's not something that she can control, and not only that but when you have a friend, you try to understand your friend not try to put them down not try to make fun of them or make light of something like that, because it's embarrassing enough to have accidents, it's embarrassing enough that you have to admit that your incontinent, and it's equally embarrassing to have to figure out how to deal with it by using whatever solution that you use to deal with it. If you choose to wear diapers, then that's your choice, and regardless of how many friends I will have, if someone did that to me, they would end up getting one heck of a stare for me, because the ones that I tell about my incontinence are ones that I trust, not ones that I would think that would take that and make a huge deal out of it or make you feel lower than the lowest thing on Earth! Everybody has to use the bathroom my dear, everybody does! Whoever the heck is telling you all of this needs to be put in your position in the roles reversed, then he or she Would understand what it's like to have a mess in their pants and I'm having to deal with the extreme embarrassment that comes along with it. I've had friends for many years that are incontinent, and I've dealt with people that are incontinent, and the first thing that you wanna do is be supportive helpful and understanding, even if the person is dealing with a lot on their minds, even if it does smell a little bad, even if it does take a little bit longer to clean up, that's what you do, because if you're a good friend you overlook it and you know the person has no control or you have dealt with it in the past and it's not a big deal. I've lived here for 28 going on 29 years next year. For those 29 years I've lived next door to an awesome guy who is in a wheelchair who is Black. I don't look on his race any different than I would look on anyone else, because he's my friend regardless of what color his skin is, and anyone who would pick on him because of his skin color or make light of that and make a big deal out of it I would probably roast right in front of the person so they would feel like they were a pile of pee in the middle of a sponge! The same thing can be said of anyone who would make fun of you because you have to use the bathroom. My friend also has called me in the middle of the night i'd say about between 12 and 3 in the morning, asking me to help him clean up a mess. I will go over there and I will help him do it, it might be a little bit disgusting and it might be a little bit time consuming, but if I can help him, and I have the necessary equipment and the time, I will go right over there and I won't even bat an eyelash, even if he made a mess all over the floor, that's the least of the worry, because you can always clean up a mess on the floor, you can always clean up a mess anywhere, but the emotional trauma from this type of a response is real it's terrible and it hurts really bad! I'm very sorry to hear that there is someone who you were with that was that insensitive so they didn't even give $0.02 about your feelings and your emotional well being! If you are two years old, and you are a baby still, you would have an accident or you would have used your diaper, and someone would have changed it, and they wouldn't even have blinked an eyelash, because that's what babies do they use their diapers. You are an adult, and as an adult even if you are incontinent you are accorded the same rights responsibilities feelings and you should be treated with respect by everyone, and if they disrespect you, then they if they're your friends aren't very good friends are they? I'm not sure exactly what your companion that day was thinking in his or her head but this is the worst kind of thing you can do to a friend! Do you have a friendship that is built on trust love companionship and the ability to tell them anything, and when you have a friend that's that strong, or a friendship that lasts the years, you learn to deal with many things you learn to accept many issues and you learn how to deal with idiots who put your friendship at risk! If this gentleman or lady was with you and did this to you I would seriously consider giving them the what for! One of these days that friend so curled will end up being in the same situation you are my friend and you will have the luxury of being able to tell them that you told them so once they get old enough to need diapers. The Bigger person is in this situation is the one who accepts you as a friend regardless of what happens! I don't care whether you ended up getting sick, I don't care if you didn't feel well, I didn't care if you had a bad day and you needed help, friend is there to do it for you and do it when you can't! A friend is always there regardless of what happens, and friendships always form overtime when you learn to trust people's instincts you learn to trust the person and you know that person very well. It is my hope that this individual learns a valuable lesson! And that lesson is do not pick on someone else who is incontinent or has no control over their ladder or bowels, because some day some day this individual will learn the lesson that you know you learned yourself, about being incontinent and how inconvenient it can be, how embarrassing it can be, and in this case I wouldn't blame you if you felt like the lowest thing on the planet, because of the person who was treating you this way. If I was there that day I would give you one hell of a hug and I would keep on hugging you until you felt better. When you have someone that is with you rip you down as far as that and you feel that bad, something needs to change, and I would definitely consider if this is a friend of yours not to be a friend with that person for a long time unless and until that person gives you a heartfelt apology from the bottom of their heart, and promises that they will never ever ever do that again! Doing what this person did is the lowest possible thing that a person can do, it's bad enough that you have to deal with what you deal with, but to have your emotional stability rocked to your core so you feel the way that you're seeing that you felt that day is unacceptable and is just about as bad as a two year old having a temperate tantrum over a cookie! Or having someone tell you know when you go flying off the handle! Sometimes you can't have what you want when you want it, sometimes things don't happen the way you want it to happen, and you have to deal with it, and I'm sure you understand that very well! People who treat others with this much insensitivity need a kick in the booty, And may that person never be in the position you were, when you had to go to the bathroom and you had to use your diaper, and if they had to do the same thing, I wouldn't be the one laughing at them, because I am more of a man not to do that. My momma taught me to treat ladies with respect, and that's exactly the way you would be treated! I hope your friend never has to be in that position, because then somebody like you could then turn the tables on them, even though that may not be the most appropriate response, sometimes you feel like just slapping them and saying You idiot ha ha ha and just laughing your head off, but obviously what happened to you is no laughing matter: the thing is people that act like that and make a big deal of you wearing and messing a diaper or peeing a diaper, well they haven't had to deal with what we deal with! Having to go to the bathroom, having to get up, having to run as hard as you can to try to get there, and then sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't, and sometimes you don't even have enough control to be able to get up out of the chair to be able to walk across the room! That's happened to me a few times. I send you a lot of hugs, and a lot of empathy and understanding! People who do that really burn my candle at both ends of the wick! If they have time to pick on you and make such a big deal out of what's going on, then they have the time to think twice about what they're going to do the next time, and God forbid your friend end up being in your position Someday, because you understand it, maybe that person does not, but there's one thing I will not do And that is to pick on anyone who is incontinent or unable to make it to the bathroom, that's just awful terrible and unacceptable! Brian

@Incont I'm glad that these are legit vendors. There's been a couple of times that somebody offered me something and I thought it was a scam, and there are people that sometimes will follow you also. I guess I'm just so used to having someone try to scam me that I'm very reluctant, but I'm glad that these guys are legit and they can help people. Have a great weekend! Brian

welcome back nice to see you again! Brian

@coolkid I'm sorry to hear that your parents are not as supportive as they should be! Part of the problem that I can see is that some parents don't understand what's going on, or they think the best way to take care of a problem is to make you feel bad because you're dealing with bed wetting or whatever it is. This is not a good idea, and I've had friends that have had to deal with that most of their lives, and my brothers when they were younger had the same problem, There are two ways to look at this: ONE: Making you feel bad and not presenting One way is to end up doing absolutely nothing, and hope that you outgrow it, which is a normal thing for kids to have to deal with sometimes they are not dry at night, maybe they have a situation where their bladder didn't grow up as fast as the rest of them, or maybe they just don't have any control at night. Sometimes ignoring the problem can result in someone being able to outgrow it, but ignoring a problem is not a way to solve a problem. Neither is Making someone feel bad because they can't control it or they don't have the ability to control it. The best thing to do is to try to help someone who is in trouble, try to be supportive, instead of being negative or uncaring, or not being able to deal with the fact that someone may wet the bed. I know parents can be wondering in their heads things like why does my kid do this? Or why is this happening? And when someone doesn't understand what's going on, they can sometimes get nervous or they worry about you, but if no one is actually taking care of the problem because it's being ignored and you are dealing with wet beds every day that is not good. The best way to handle a situation like this is to try to do the best you can, and get the protection that you need. Your parents may not understand, but I can't see in my mind a situation where not having protection is helpful to you. You should have the protection that you need, and if your parents are not helping you, maybe someone will have to say something. if not, I would get the protection that you need and have them available. if your parents found out that you have them, simply tell them that you need them because you're sick and tired of waking up with wet sheets, and if you can't control it, then you can't control it. Many people grow up and they don't have control of certain parts of their body, because it grows too fast. When you go through puberty for example, there are a lot of changes in your body. The first thing that happens usually is that your voice cracks, and it gets lower, and then you end up having hormones go a little bit crazy and you start growing facial hair and you You get pubic hair and then you end up getting acne and a whole bunch of other things. Remember when you go through puberty a lot of things happen wicked fast. You go through a growth spurt sometimes, you might not feel the same way sometimes in your hormones are going wild. Sometimes even when you're going through puberty things can happen and your bladder may not grow as fast as other parts of your body, and you may have to deal with that particular situation. I don't know how bad the situation is, all I can suggest is that you get the protection that you need, and if your parents find out simply tell them the truth, which is nothing bad because you're dealing with a situation that is uncomfortable and you shouldn't have to deal with it. When I say you shouldn't have to deal with it, I mean that you shouldn't have to deal with white sheets every night, not being comfortable every night, not being able to handle situations because your parents are Not supportive or they don't seem to understand what's going on doesn't help you. Need to be able to have dry nights. To be able to get halfway decent sleep. The most important things you need to be able to sleep well and you need to be able to get enough sleep and you need to be able to let your body relax so that you can fully be at your best when you need to be, believe me I know because I went through the same types of things in my journey as it started 4 years ago in 2019. When I say that I mean it! My problem was that I couldn't get enough sleep, and the sleep that I was getting was very little. Spent most of the time that I was awake in the bathroom at night, and I'd end up falling asleep on the toilet. The time what would happen is I have to sit there for so long that would become uncomfortable. Had several accidents during the time that I'm telling you about, so wearing diapers was the best thing that I could think of at the time. Was thinking to myself that there was a problem and I needed to find out a way to fix it, and I've just realized that there are several times when I just didn't have control, and I don't know if it's because of my cerebral palsy or because of something else, but I realized that there's nothing to be afraid of wearing diapers because they can help you. Only do they help me with my incontinence, but they help me with the feelings that I've been dealing with all my life, which I go into great detail on daily diapers about! Your most important thing is you need a diaper that works for you, that helps you keep dry, and you need to have the right type of equipment to be able to keep yourself dry during the day. That means that you get diaper covers, you get diaper covers diapers wipes and the whole 9 yards. Even have a disposal can and the disposal bags and everything that I need to be able to take care of having to wear diapers. Accepted wearing diapers 24/7 a long time ago, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. TWO: In the second situation, you would be totally supported. You would have someone that understands your issues, and does not put you down or make you feel bad because you chose to wear diapers and it makes you feel better drier and happier. In this scenario everybody knows what's going on, and everything is on the table and everybody accepts what's going on and realizes that you have an issue, but it also helps you because you don't have to worry about somebody finding out something and you don't have to keep it a secret. To actually find the right diapers that you need and you know what you need and you know what you want, then get what you need and make sure you keep your supplies up, as long as you are happy and you're able to live in a situation where it is ok to wear diapers, you should have no problem. The problem happens when parents don't understand. Told many people that the most important thing is that a kid should be a kid and be able to live their life and be able to enjoy themselves while they're young, because being a kid they don't have any responsibilities other than those that are asked of their parents, such as going to school and getting good grades and getting along with people and following the rules, treating people with respect and basic tenants that were always taught as kids. Responsibilities we have as kids is to look up to our parents and have them help us, and in this scenario parents would help you, would understand you, wouldn't laugh at you, and would be available to help you through the worst things, and I'm telling you right now on the scale of zero to 10 if I had to determine how the diaper wearing affects me as far as is it worst: it's a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. Wearing diapers is the least of my worries, and if I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life, at least now I don't have to worry if I have to use the diaper, I don't have to worry about someone finding out about it, because it's just a part of life. I'm sorry that scenario number two doesn't seem too be in the cards here, but if you have a situation like I've had when I was a kid, everyone in my family knew about my brother who was disabled non mobile nonverbal and worn diapers all of his life, 10 years of it, and my mom took care of him, took care of my aunt Julie, and my father when he was sick, in the Baker family knows all about disabilities: my aunt Julie had Down syndrome, I had cerebral palsy, my brother was mentally disabled as a result of a Motor vehicle accident, and it was just the type set up where if we messed ourselves or we wet ourselves, it was just dealt with, they just told us that it was no big deal and they dealt with it. When you're growing up there are many things that you have to deal with in life, and the least of your worry should be whether you can hold your pee or your poop, because that is just a fact of bodily function, and your bodily functions may not be at the top of their game as you're growing up. This is why it is very important for parents to understand that kids do not have the same bladder capacities all the way down, and they should never ever ever be put down or made fun of or made examples of because they wear diapers past the age of 5, if they need them they need them, that is why being incontinent or disabled those are two things that you may or may not have control of being incontinent, depending on how bad it is, but sometimes your disability can throw things in your path and you're not sure what to do with it. my parents and my aunts and uncles and Cousins and people that dealt with me, knew Of my disability, new of my brother's disability, new of my aunts disability, and they all helped us to be able to live our lives to the fullest extent possible. We were never made fun of because we were diapers, we were never punished because we had an accident, and we were loved either way, which is basically the type of life that I've always had. Him extremely lucky that I have had parents and grandparents and other relatives that really care about me and my family members, and the thing is I've learned that there are things that you should worry about, and there's things that you shouldn't. Of course if you're dealing with wet sheets and other things in its uncomfortable for you and you need to deal with it, that's one thing, but remember that wearing diapers is not the end of the world, and all you gotta do is do it. If in scenario one your parents are like that, you may have to turn around and make the necessary changes so that you feel comfortable. This is not about your parents, and should never be about your parents having a problem with it. You have the problem, you need the help, and sometimes parents don't understand. The good thing is that sometimes once you're able to explain what's going on and you understand very well what is up with your body and everything else, maybe you'll be able to get someone to help you explain what is going on, but that also means that your parents would have to be tuned into what's going on and be able to help you. If they don't help you, then there's an issue here and you would have to try to find help yourself. Being here on this website, is a way to get some help. It's a way to get advice. Pray to have support: being incontinent is not the end of the world, being a bedwetter is not the end of the world. It's all on how you handle it. Many friends that I've known for many many years on daily diapers, and they have taught me a lot about what you're dealing with when you're dealing with either having incontinence or you are bed wetting, and the best thing I can say is you are not alone, you will never be alone because there's always someone who is dealing with the same situation that you may be dealing with maybe in a different situation but you're never alone. When I had a problem in 2019 I knew exactly where I needed to be, I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and when this site opened I knew that this is also where I should be. On daily diapers, there are different things that we can discuss, but an incont Dot Org, that's different because we're dealing with incontinence and ways to deal with it, and I can tell you from experience that wearing a diaper is not the end of the world. Ever since I decided to wear diapers in 2019, and then decide to go full time in 2020, I have found that every single time that I have an issue where I have to use the diaper, I look at myself and think to myself did I make the right decision: every time I look up at my shelf where I keep my diapers, I'm always happy to answer yes, in the affirmative because that is what needs to happen. Please know that you're never alone and you have people that deal with the same type of issues that you are talking about! You may need to get additional help if your parents are not helpful to you and haven't been supportive of you! Perhaps you can get a friend or a family member that does support you and love you and stuff and be able to have them help you through this: make sure that the person that you're dealing with is somebody that you can trust, that will not blab on you, telling them things that you do not want disclosed, but you need to get help, and you need to have someone that is willing to help you, because you may not be able to do this one on your own. Once you end up having the tools in your toolbox to be able to handle the situation, it'll be a lot easier. Have your toolbox on the ground, but you need to be able to know how to use your tools when to use your tools and what tools to use. Once you have that down, and you're able to figure out what diapers you need and what other equipment you need, then you start figuring out what you need and how to do it. As you end up using diapers every day and you have a system down, one hour becomes 1 day, 1 day becomes two, and eventually it's a month two months 12 months and then it turns into years. After you end up having a well established system, you just do it because that's the way it is. You don't have to hide it, you don't have to be ashamed of it, you just take it by the hand and say I'm in control you take the reins and you ride the horse, it doesn't ride you. Don't ever feel that you are at fault for this, because there's a lot of people that deal with that every day! Believe me when I started doing this, I was scared and I didn't know what to do, but I know what I needed to do, I needed to ask my doctor for help and he did that. I won't go into the story about that in this thread, but suffice to say I got the help I needed, I'm not afraid of diapers any more, I don't care people know about it because that's the way it is! I don't want my body to be in control of what I'm dealing with, and not only that the diapers help me with the incontinence and the feelings, and I can keep those under control when I'm wearing diapers, and I'm also controlling the incontinence. I have the incontinence by the ring and I'm not going to let it drive me., it's gonna end up telling me when I have to go and stuff like that, and I just let it happen, but I'm not gonna let it bother me, because it's part of who I am, and for 47 years I tried to stop myself from realizing that that's what I am and who I am, a diaper lover and incontinent, and minute I found out that that was the truth, and I had friends that were able to help me, I was able to quickly accept it, but it took a long time for me to realize that I am what I am, and I can't hide the feelings or anything that make me what I am because that is the way I was wired. In your case, having bed wetting is an issue: it's an issue that you would have to take by the horns: if your parents are not having any of this, then you need to find someone that will be able to help you get the tools for your toolbox. You need to get a toolbox first and then you need to fill it with everything that you need tool wise. Diapers wipes, boosters, diaper covers, in the whole 9 yards that I've explained above. Also includes all your topicals and everything else. Would do is probably get me a big container, get everything together that you think you need to be able to do diaper changes like powder in the in the sort, put that all together and put that in a position where you can find it. Grab your diapers and put those together, and put all of the pieces that you need in place so that when you need to use them You have them. Let your diaper supply go two or three months down, because if you do you would probably run out of diapers and then you'd have an issue. Have them delivered once a month, and I can call twice a month, because of the contract that I'm under with the state they pay for my diapers. Remember that the diaper that you use should be the one that helps you the most. Don't get the cheap cheap diapers because they probably aren't gonna help you if you have a full on release in your incontinent. The diaper that works for you may not work for somebody else, and that is important! You need a good diaper. The North Shore Mega Max because those are the best diapers that have always stood the test with me, and I can use them and I don't have to worry about too much trouble. Sure if you end up overflowing it too fast you can leak, and even if you have the best diapers you leak, so you need the right material in your toolbox, which is why I use the toolbox analogy. I have a container that has all of my material in it. one container holds all of my medicines, one of my side tables has all of my diapering supplies, and the remainder of what I don't use is put into a container so I have them available should the need arise. Please do not worry: having incontinence is not the end of the world, nor is bed wetting: it happens as we grow up that our bodies change, and sometimes that happens my brothers ended up dealing with bed wetting on and off for a few years, and they just had to deal with it, they weren't punished for doing it, but they had to change their own sheets sometimes, That way, they took responsibility for the laundry whenever they could, but our parents were always supportive of us regardless of what we did, especially when we're dealing with this. When you live with CP or other disabilities in your family, you have a very very different opinion about diapers, because you see them being used in a practical way appropriately, and it's not a big deal. It's really easy to change a dirty diaper and clean you up and stick you back in a diaper, it's really easy to take you to the bathroom when it needs to happen, and my parents and my friends and my family members didn't flinch: they just took it by the horns and roll with it. Your parents may not be that supportive, but please know that you can take the horns and ride that bull, but you may need help to do it. Please know that we will be here to support you, because that is the most important thing, you have incontinence or bed wettinv Issues, but they shouldn't have you. Good Luck! Brian

My colonoscopy is COMPLETE, and I was happy for that, but a little tired for the next 2 days, and according to the doctor (GI) There was nothing that was concerning to him, and they want me back in 10 years: I made it through, and I must say my PCP said he would take care of me, and BOTH of them did: I had a Hospitalist that was awesome as well, and the nurses, LNA's and others were great, and they took really good care of me. Now, we can deal with the CT Scan of my liver and Kidneys, and that happens July 20 - Then we will see what happens 🙂 Thanks for all the advice and support 🙂 Brian

Here is an update on my colonoscopy: As many of you know I have cerebral palsy and that requires me to use a wheelchair because of mobility and I'm incontinent. One of the things that I knew I had to do was that I had to bring plenty of briefs with me, which we call diapers. I ended up loading my onboard bag that I carry on my wheelchair with 10 of them, and then I loaded my overnight bag with 10 of them. Little did I know however, that the next day would be one of the worst in my life! By this I mean that the prep was something that I was expecting to have to do, and it isn't the fact that I had to mess myself and be changed many times during the day and the night, but I had to take what they call go prep, which is basically four liters of the most ridiculous tasting liquid that you ever thought of in your life, and then once I start that prep, I can't have anything to drink other than the prep liquid. I was told by the nurse that I would have to drink all four liters of this thing, before 7:00 AM in the morning, otherwise the doctor would call off the procedure. Unfortunately what happened was not something that I wasn't expecting: that stuff was horrid, they told me they would mix in some lemon flavoring to the prep mixture, but it didn't taste like lemons, it left a sour milk taste in my mouth for the entire duration, and I threw up about 8 times, almost to the point of projectile vomiting, because I can tell when it gets that bad that the next thing I'm going to release is going to be bio fluids! I was continually coached to keep taking a drink of this liquid and I kept trying to chug it down but it was impossible. I take about I take a small sip every few minutes, but then when I tried to take a large gulp like I would gulp water down, I would choke on it and then I would swallow it and it wouldn't taste very good, and then 15 minutes later I would vomit! This kept on happening every time that I tried to take this stuff, and it would make it very hard. Made it through to the night, but they woke me up at 3 AM, And wanted me to drink more of that, I kept on trying to do that, and then finally I just said I've had enough of this I can't deal with it - So I was instructed to take as much as I could between 5 and 6:00 AM, and then I could stop drinking this prep. The nurse on the floor was telling me that there would be a possibility that I might have to have the colonoscopy canceled if I didn't get enough of the preparation into me to help me clear out my colon. So I go into the prep for the morning, and they get me ready, and they make me comfortable, and of course all night long, in addition to having to evacuate everything in my colon, I was having severe pain in my legs, because I wasn't able to move very well and I couldn't get out of bed of course cause I was in the hospital. so I get into the prep room, and they get vitals from me and they get information from me and they're entering into the system, then what they'll do is they will tell me what's going on. After they do that, they roll me into the prep room and they tell me they're going to sedate me they used fentanyl and Versed in very small amounts to put me under for about 30 minutes, and then they told the me that they were going to remove my diaper, and then they were going to put a camera up there and it didn't even bother me, didn't even feel it. However, 35 minutes later I'm in the recovery suite, and then the doctor comes over to me and says that they need to do it again. They told me that they would send me back upstairs and that they would end up starting me back on the Go Prep probably about three in the afternoon! When I heard that, I literally looked at the doctor and said there's no way in hell you are going to beep give me that beep beep beep again, because not only was it causing me problems because it was making me violently ill it was making me projectile vomit, he was vehemently telling me that I needed to take this prep, because that's what they do for people that are in patients in the hospital. Little did he know however, that I told him that any type of procedure that I do from now on since I am over 50, because of my disability and my mobility constraints would be done in the hospital! I told him that I needed help with the prep and I would never have been able to do it myself otherwise I would have canceled any colonoscopy and I would never have it done nor would I have any other tests completed because no one is available to help me, because my program specifically says that they are not supposed to give me incontinence care! They couldn't change me or anything like that, and I'm on the moderate needs program, which would need to be upgraded so that I would have full care high needs, and if I'm only taking colonoscopies every 10 years that would be ridiculous, and so I told him that there's no way I'm gonna take that again! I was so distraught angry and everything out because I was hungry tired and I hurt, that I was advocating for myself. Then the assistant Alex, told me that they could do another attempt but do the prep in another way! This made me a tad bit more angrier, because the nurse told me that they Would give me miralax plus Gatorade, and basically they would just double or triple up the doses of the Miralax: I told the doctor that I take miralax when I need it for constipation, and I've never ever thrown up taking it, and that was what they said they would do. I basically advocated for myself again and I told the doctor that I would never take that go prep again, he again stood on his laurels and told me that that was the way it was done in the hospital and there was nothing he could do about it! I said well we'll see about that, because my doctor will order a test and he will put into the records that I need to be admitted, and that I need help, because of my incontinence which should be on the records! So they send me upstairs, and the next thing I know they said ok we're gonna do this prep at about 3:30: we'll get the medicine and all that stuff together and we'll have the doctor come see you, and I had the hospitalist in there, and while I was talking to the hospitalist I was telling her about my pain in my legs all night, and the fact that that stuff was disgusting, meaning the prep liquid I had to drink. He told me that it was OK, that nobody really likes it, and that they would take care of me. I had a day nurse named Chris and a night nurse named Geraldine: if it wasn't for Geraldine being so awesome along with Chris being so understanding, I probably would never have been able to get through it. From the time I had gotten there on Sunday afternoon, until about 4:00 o'clock yesterday I had been changed a total of 27 times, gone through 27 mega maxes, and I can tell you from the experience that I would rather do the miralax prep with the Gatorade than any prep that they could ever imagine: they even had me take a special couple of pills every time I would take a Gatorade so that it would help me to evacuate what was left. During the first night when I was doing this, the nurse kept telling me that she was sorry that she had to have me continue to drink it, and I grimaced at it and told that I would try but I couldn't guarantee anything! When doctor Ingram my doctor, found out what was going on, I guess he decided to Chuck on me: doctors now don't have to visit their patients in the hospital anymore, because of the hospitalist, but my doctor took time out of his busy schedule to check on my welfare to make sure I was ok and to make sure that I had everything I needed. I had talked to the hospitalists, and I had talked to him, he gave me the results of my Ultrasound and told me it was a fatty liver, and possibly a lesion on my kidney, and these were pretty common and not to worry about it, and that he would order a cat scan to see what was going on. So I'm upstairs and they tell me that I'm going to be reset for 11:45 the next morning. So that night I start at 3:00 PM or 4:00 PM, and they have me drink four Gatorade. Asked my nurse Chris, if that's all I had to do, and he said yes that was all I needed to do, so I bought the 4 Gatorade's and chose the flavor of the Gatorade's, they went to get them with my debit card and brought it back to me. Then at 3:00 PM they ended up starting me on this prep, in there like doubling or tripling the normal dose of mirror ax that I would take during a day in the morning. Let me tell you within half an hour to an hour and a half, my stomach was rumbling and it started happening really fast, everything I was holding that was stopping the test from the night before was evacuating and it was easy. Wasn't sick, I wasn't irritable, And I was able to drink both of these Gatorade's, and still have electrolytes in my system, because I couldn't eat or drink anything after 7:00 PM the previous evening because of the prep. So I made a note of the east of this transition, and when I went back downstairs next morning to the procedure room I basically told the doctor that the next time I do this I'm going in and I'm going to do it with the MiraLAX And Gatorade, and he's like, we can't do that because if you're inpatient that's what we give you is the goprep: and I looked him in the face and told him that he was full of what I was releasing, and that what I did last night was easy compared to all of the hell in sleepless night and all the pain! I basically had to have the doctor give me an injection of medicine so that I could sleep because my legs were in a lot of pain I was really really tight and I had no way of releasing all of that, but after the scan was complete, I ended up staying in the hospital until about 130 or two o'clock, and then at 230, the orange brought me downstairs to the front entrance and waited for my bus. The local bus transportation brought me back to my house, and then I came back I went to subway afterwards got my sub for dinner after having an awesome lunch of toast a hamburger, broccoli Spears, and two cranberry juices, plus orange Sherbert. I hadn't eaten for almost two days and I was famished! So like everyone says, that prep they use they call go prep is disgusting! They always tell you that you need to advocate for yourself, well let me tell you I did, and I told them that it was easier for me to do the prep the second time than it was the 1st, and if it was up to me all of the nurses that helped me to get through this would have gotten what they call a Daisy Award for their professionalism their charisma their compassion their caring and their loving support, I would never have been able to get through this without them, or without my doctor being tenacious and insisting that this be done! When it comes to my disability and my conditions, I don't care what it costs, but I'm gonna make sure that I am taken care of and I am comfortable! So yeah, my Colonoscopy was clear, it showed diverticulosis as it Says, but everything is clear, everything is clean, and the doctors tell me I shouldn't have to return for 10 more years, by that time I will be 61, and hopefully the medical ways they do colonoscopy prep will have changed significantly so there's no need for me to be so sick tired irritable and in pain that I can't handle it! I never thought that a colonoscopy would be so hard as far as for a person with a disability, but I know for one thing that I would never have been able to do it myself, because I had to be changed at least 27 times. Even last night when I got ready to go to bed, I had to change my diaper and then I had to wipe myself again, because apparently the nurses that changed me the last time before I went out the door might not have gotten me as clean as the nurse that was on duty when they took care of me during the day and the nights before! Brian

@Dandelion I would agree with that sentiment! Too many people worry about what is gonna happen to somebody's dignity or something or are worrying about things that they don't need to worry about, and they get their nose stuck in something that they don't need to. People that wear diapers as a solution for incontinence do it because they think it is the best thing that they can do to help themselves. If you don't have any control whatsoever, it makes one hell of a difference, because you can at least tolerate it and deal with it as it comes along, and rather have some ability to find an appropriate way to deal with it, and I have a lot of friends that have done just that, and they have done it with class with dignity and they really understand exactly what's going on. People who are dead set against people wearing diapers for any reason after they think it's age appropriate to, they need to understand that diapers can be worn by anyone from a baby all the way up until 100 years old for example, and it really doesn't matter what they think or what they believe, it's just a bunch of taboos and stigmas and things that everybody has been told and taught and has been drilled into our head since we were born as little kids. We've been told that diapers are terrible awful no good very bad and all these other things in that we shouldn't be wearing them because it is embarrassing. Say that it's more embarrassing to h....not everyone agrees that the solution May be appropriate for someone, but everybody has a decision to make. I'm glad I made the decision I did back in 2019, and I am so happy that I went 24/7 in 2020. A lot of people don't understand that there's a lot of stress involved in many things in life, and I have dealt with stress most of it. What I've learned is that I try to remove as much stress as I possibly can for my life because there's a lot of stuff in life that you don't need to stress over, you don't have to worry over, and there are ways to deal with almost anything that you deal with. Based on what I've had to deal with all my life dealing with cerebral palsy and with other disabilities and other conditions, wearing diapers and using them is the least worrisome of the things that I have to worry about, and I'd rather wear a diaper and use it rather than worry about what somebody else says, because if they were totally incontinent and didn't have any control at all, they would be wondering how they would take care of it, and I say in my case diapers are a good match. It depends on the person who decides to just make the decision what aid they use, but it is theirs to make the decision that is, not anyone elses to criticize. Once they realize that there are people that need diapers, they wouldn't be so close minded. There are people that need diapers, and I agree with the above, if they were worried, If a person wasn't wearing a diaper, and they had to deal with that, the person that's picking on you would be so quick to probably change his tune. The problem is the people that usually are doing the picking on somebody else don't realize that it's not good for either person, but some people are just meanie heads and they don't understand what the heck is going on, so when you're having a disability related condition that you need to diapers for, it's a realistic expectation that you're going to use them. As I said before, diapers are not necessarily just for incontinence, but they do have medical value for other reasons as well. Brian

UPDATE: Today I finally got a hold of my my chart file and looked at it because I needed to see what was going on with a upcoming physical. Had to be rescheduled because of something that was going on that I wasn't aware of and so I had to reschedule it. The physical will happen tomorrow. Unfortunately, I also found out that my colonoscopy was scheduled for Monday the 19th, and apparently they were going to admit me on Sunday the 18th, which is father's Day. I understand that they wanted me to go in on that day, but apparently they had just stuck me there, and they had no idea that I didn't have transportation there, and apparently didn't realize that I always disabled, and that I needed help with the prep work and all that. Ohh I spent most of today on the phone with the GI specialist, my GP, the nurses, the nurses in the procedure area, and a couple nurses in the hospital. Now I guess they're working on setting it up so that I can be admitted on Sunday, and our local transportation provider will be put into service on Sunday to bring me up there, but I haven't heard the finalization of that yet. Once I get that taken care of, I'll just go up there on Sunday and I'll have the procedure done Monday morning and it won't be so bad. Doesn't even look like it's gonna be as bad as what I was under the impression it was going to be, because they're going to give me something that is similar to mirror wax in higher dose so that I can clean myself out pretty good. The only thing that scared me was the fact that I didn't exactly know why they had stuck me in just anywhere on a Sunday, for that particular situation, and I wasn't sure if any of my medical team had realized that it was a Sunday they had scheduled me for. Our electronic system my chart ends up keeping notes from every single medical provider that provides me service, so anything that happens is updated within the system so any medical provider can log in and look at my notes in real time. The notes I got from the procedure nurse told me that they were working on that happening, so I shouldn't have that issue. So as long as I can get there, I have everything I need, and I do what I need to do, it won't be that bad. I just hope that this thing goes off without a hitch: I realize that it couldn't be a pain in the neck, that I will probably have to deal with some stuff that might be a little uncomfortable, And the like, but at least once this procedure is done I don't have to worry about it for a few years. I have been assured that this will be easier for me than it would for my dad who had to have a tracheottery removed in order to have his done because they put the camera wire down the hole where his tracheotomy sat. I'm just a little surprised that they just stuck me in on a Sunday, and that I didn't even realize that it had been scheduled there, until I saw it this morning and I went, what the heck are they doing that for? So the only thing I really have to be careful of is to make sure I'm not eating a bunch of seeds, and that I can drink as much liquid as I want prior to the procedure but I can't eat after midnight on Sunday. At least this way I will be able to have the procedure done, and I won't have to worry about it because when they're all finished, because all the coordination with a hospitalist in all the people involved, I will be able to get in there, have the procedure done, and then be able to come out, and I should be OK. Thank you for all the information regarding your experiences @Slomo

@emily1890 Emily: I don't believe it anytime that I would feel so bad that I would cry over it, because all through my life, I've had a disability that I have no control over, meaning that I have cerebral palsy and it affects me the way it does, and that is the way it has been ever since I was born 51 years ago. If I were to take a look at my life from the time I was born until now, I can seriously tell you that I've had my problems and I've had my struggles and I've had my experiences and I've had my ups and downs, but if I were to look at my life in general, I would think that I have done many things that I don't think anybody would have expected me to be able to do. Most of the reason why this is the case is because I have good people that were always supportive of me, and always told me that I could do anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it, and I worked hard for it. This has always been my mantra all the way through my life, nothing I get is for free, and if and when that happens I am very appreciative of any assistance people can provide. I also try to help people that need help in my thrift store that need either clothing or items that they cannot afford or that they Really need, and I try to provide them that, and I believe that part of what I try to do is to help as many people as I can, because I'm a good person and that's the way I roll. I agree with my colleagues that you are not alone: there are many people who may have a problem with having to wear diapers, because of something that they find to be objectionable or the fact that it is inconvenient or that it is embarrassing. It's OK, because I'm sure there are people that understand that it can be embarrassing, and that is the reason why there are many people who understand very unprofessional what we go through, but sometimes there are people that don't, and those are the type of people that we have to educate so they understand that wearing diapers is not all that it's cracked up to be, it's not all fun and games, and there are times when you just can't control what you're releasing, and that is why you're wearing diapers in the first place. It is unfortunate that there are many people who pick on others because they might have to wear diapers for whatever reason! If people would understand that diapers are helpful to many, they wouldn't be so negative that it turns them off. Diapers help you in many ways, and even though you have to deal with the occasional leak or blow out or whatever it is, in many ways I would rather have a diaper on and have it be used, then to have a mess where you end up not wearing one and then you end up with a mega mess that you have to clean up with comment including dirty clothes and everything else. I've had that happen myself, that even when I have all of my protections in place, I still dirty my clothes and I still have to clean them up and I still have to wash them and Whatnot, but I am not going to worry about Whether I We'll use the diaper not, and what I will use it for, because I will use it, and that is a foregone conclusion. Part of the deal that you have to be aware of is that sometimes you cannot control what happens, when it happens where happens how it happens, or what comes out of you. Diapers help you to try to contain those things that would otherwise be on the floor in your pants or somewhere else. I DO UNDERSTAND, empathize and sympathize with you, because it can be embarrassing, And it is embarrassing and that is a given. Many times, there are times when you feel like you want to throw in the towel, and you want to be able to say I've had enough, and there's been many times in my life where I feel the same way, where my disability gets the best of me, but I always try to figure out a positive that is involved when you have a negative. In my mind, what you need to do is find a positive for each negative that you encounter. This might be harder when you're dealing with incontinence, because who is going to think that there is a positive in being incontinent? There is a positive, because if you're wearing a diaper or a protective solution, at least you are able to let your life move forward and live your life the way you want to, and not allow your incontinence to be in control of what you're doing. If you let your incontinence win, then you will be having issues, but I do understand exactly what it feels like, because there's been times when I felt bad myself, like In 2018 and 2019 before I ended up deciding to go full time in diapers in 2020. Having accidents and I had nothing I could do about it, because it was just happening so fast, so I just had to ask for help and get the help I needed, and then move forward and not have to worry so much. Remember Emily you are never alone! We are all a member Of a community, and we all try to help one another, And we will continue to support and help each other, because we are always stronger together! 😁😁❤️❤️😁😁 Brian

@John Davis In reality, I know that I need diapers and I know why I need diapers and I wear diapers all the time, and that is a choice made after having several accidents and having to clean up mess in my bed! when I ended up having that happen in 2019, I went to the doctors for help. First I was nervous as hectic somebody was going to either hear my diapers or here why diaper covers, because I had the PUL pants for awhile then I had the trifectas, and I was worried when I had the old style plastic pants that somebody would hear me, but I used them to protect myself. After a while my plastic pants just decided to get really hard then I had to get rid of them. That's when I ended up getting the Gary Ware. They were awesome and I love them and I still have them if I want them, but they're not too bad and they might rustle just a little but they're good for protection. Ended up getting the trifectas from North Shore because I might need some more and they don't carry others products when they can make their own. Long story short, I used to be afraid that somebody would hear my diapers or my diaper covers. However, I know that I need diapers, I know that I want diapers, and they help me deal with many things including incontinence and all the feelings and urges. Now that I'm wearing 24/7, and I'm used to them, there's no reason why I should have to worry somebody will find out I'm wearing diapers because the people that have to know know about it, and the people that I want to know about it know about it, and anybody else, well it's none of their business. I figure if somebody hears my diaper or they hear my plastic pants or maybe they see it riding high when I stand up, well that's something they see. As I age it gets harder for me to move, so it's not that bad, because at least I don't have to bolt already here out of my chair, because everything is protected. I remember the night that I was sitting in the chair, and I didn't even have time to think, and then all of a sudden I ended up doing a BM. Even have a chance to turn around and grab my chair arms to push forward, the deed had already been done! that was my wake up call to say that I needed diapers, and I haven't looked back since. I know there may be people that would say that they're afraid somebody's gonna find out, but people who are incontinent already know what they're dealing with, and most people would understand if we're incontinent. If you are ABDL, Then it may be different, but most people that are incontinent deal with it every day just like the ones that are AB or DL, but the dynamic is different, and the understanding is a little different too. When you're incontinent, you don't have to worry about the fact that you are incontinent, you have to worry about how you're going to deal with it. People that I have dealt with understand incontinence and they know why somebody we're wearing diapers, but if you're ABDL, The response may be different. I'm not afraid anymore, that is obvious. Sit most times anyway so no one's gonna see that I have my pants up over my trifectas, or maybe they ride a little high. Either have my trifectas over in diaper rather than have to worry about my pants being wet. And sometimes with my trifectas over my diaper, I go and I fill the diaper and then all the sudden for some reason my pants are wet or something like that, but at least I'm dry and comfortable, and when I feel it I can change. Thank God for my North Shores because they are so awesome mega Max's are the best diaper made and I'll stand on that for a long time. Brian

@Dan I buy all of my diapers online! what we do is there is a supplier that I get them from in New Hampshire, she ends up dealing with all of the paperwork that needs to be submitted, and only goes to my doctor if there's something missing. Once that's done, She orders my diapers my underpads and my boosters, depending on what I need. I may only need diapers, which is mostly what happens, but sometimes I would need underpads or boosters depending on the situation. I don't have a problem with because I have plenty of them, and the size of the diapers I use accommodate those particular boosters. Just like everyone else, anything that you get in the store is junk. It's not designed to be used as a diaper, even though they call them incontinence briefs. Only diaper that actually is worth its salt is a plastic backed one because there's nothing that will allow you to be able to unload a full bladder into anything, and if you have to have a bowel movement, I wouldn't trust it either. That's why I'd rather order online, and I know that I can trust my Mega Max's Brian

@John Davis A booster pad is designed to allow for you to be able to extend the life of a diaper a little longer than it would normally be legitimately usable. A booster pad is designed to allow the liquid that you're releasing to go through to the diapers padding, and once that particular padding has been saturated, then you can wear a booster and the booster itself along with a diaper probably will be taking a full soaking. When I usually work a regular shift, I do not put a booster in my diaper unless it's necessary. They are helpful and they are very very good if you have to go longer duration without making a change. There is an advantage to it however, because it makes your diaper thicker, but the disadvantages is that when you put the booster in the diaper, it does have a habit of moving around sometimes when you're trying to apply the diaper. So far, boosters have been helpful, and I have them if I need them, and I will use them as necessary. I haven't had any of them explode, however I have had them be pretty saturated, along with a diaper, when it gets that saturated, it feels like it weighs about 10 pounds however! Just like they would say for a diaper, your booster is only as good as the product itself. The better the product the more it will be helpful to the person wearing it! this is important because you want quality stuff when you're trying to deal with incontinence, anything less and you might as well not even be wearing a diaper, and a jokingly reset when I was wearing a diaper that couldn't even hold it, and hold at least a third of it, that I might as well just take off this bounty paper towel I had wrapped around me and pee on the floor, because that's what it feels like. Brian