Slom-dog: I feel kind of bad for encouraging you to buy these despite your instinct on these. Your review was awesome though! I get what you are saying about the tapes and getting them to fit around the front of the legs, but I'm dumbfounded why they fit me well, and not you.
When I put these on I take the bottom tapes around front and aiming upwards. Then I land the tape above the tape guide. The top tape comes across and lands on the tape guide as usual. This makes kind of a pocket around my area, and keeps things held in snug. I don't seem to have issues leaking out of the front. My biggest issues were leaks from the bottom of the legs whilst sitting, and such, but the cut of the legs, with size medium in these, work really well for me.