What's in a name...

[Slomo]

Absorbent brief, pad, pullup, pampers, diaper.

We've all heard them call one thing or another, but so seldom do we hear them called what they are. Diapers. (To be clear, I'm referring to a disposable adult brief which has tapes or tabs. Either cloth-like or plastic backed).

Someone once said a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I say not if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.

 

To me, proper names actually are important. If you say you need pampers, then be ready to try and squeeze into a diaper that's 10 sizes too small. Pads, hope you don't plan on getting up anytime soon. Or pullups, hope you don't need something more absorbent. Like an actual diaper an adult might need.

I've even been played by this bad wording too. In a hospital I reported I needed diapers. The nurse said ok, let me bring you some pads. And sure enough, what I got was not the diaper I needed. Nor would the actual pad I got be what I needed when going to my physical therapy.

Look at it this way too. Most would recognize there is a generalized stigma among the public towards anyone other than a baby or senior needing diapers. Yet we here are proof that is completely false. By refusing to call them diapers, people only play into and perpetuate that stigma.

My advice, don't let the stigma get to you. Do you ever feel embarrased by needing spectacles or glasses, braces or casts, or well you get the idea. And the next time (if ever) someone tries to give you a hard time over "diapers", just know that's all on them. And that person is to be pittied, not be embarrassed by.

[Iken]

3 hours ago, Slomo said:

Absorbent brief, pad, pullup, pampers, diaper.

We've all heard them call one thing or another, but so seldom do we hear them called what they are. Diapers. (To be clear, I'm referring to a disposable adult brief which has tapes or tabs. Either cloth-like or plastic backed).

Someone once said a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I say not if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.

 

To me, proper names actually are important. If you say you need pampers, then be ready to try and squeeze into a diaper that's 10 sizes too small. Pads, hope you don't plan on getting up anytime soon. Or pullups, hope you don't need something more absorbent. Like an actual diaper an adult might need.

I've even been played by this bad wording too. In a hospital I reported I needed diapers. The nurse said ok, let me bring you some pads. And sure enough, what I got was not the diaper I needed. Nor would the actual pad I got be what I needed when going to my physical therapy.

Look at it this way too. Most would recognize there is a generalized stigma among the public towards anyone other than a baby or senior needing diapers. Yet we here are proof that is completely false. By refusing to call them diapers, people only play into and perpetuate that stigma.

My advice, don't let the stigma get to you. Do you ever feel embarrased by needing spectacles or glasses, braces or casts, or well you get the idea. And the next time (if ever) someone tries to give you a hard time over "diapers", just know that's all on them. And that person is to be pittied, not be embarrassed by.

I have seen call my diapers Briefs and sometimes it feels like they are trying to hide the reality that they are diapers.

[Zombie_Turtle]

HAHA yep!   My guess is people may try to call them other than diapers as to not offend an incontinent person? maybe calling a diaper a brief is a way to let someone who is ashamed by needing to wear them retain some dignity by not being compared to an elderly patient or infant?

[Iken]

1 hour ago, Zombie_Turtle said:

HAHA yep!   My guess is people may try to call them other than diapers as to not offend an incontinent person? maybe calling a diaper a brief is a way to let someone who is ashamed by needing to wear them retain some dignity by not being compared to an elderly patient or infant?

But technically, it's still a diaper no matter what you call it. It's still a diaper no matter how you call it because it's always gona be a diaper regardless if it's on an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly person. Calling a diaper a brief is trying to lessen the stigma of being in a diaper but in reality, it's still a diaper and no amount of word salad is gona change reality.

[John Davis]

In some assisted living facilities and nursing homes the staff are actually forbidden to use the term "diaper" and, instead, must refer to it as a protective garment.

--John

[Slomo]

13 hours ago, Zombie_Turtle said:

HAHA yep!   My guess is people may try to call them other than diapers as to not offend an incontinent person? maybe calling a diaper a brief is a way to let someone who is ashamed by needing to wear them retain some dignity by not being compared to an elderly patient or infant?

I believe you are right, but if you think about they are actually doing the opposite. By try to not offend those like me and not use the word diaper, they are feeding into any shame or loathing some other incontinent person might still have.

[Slomo]

11 hours ago, Iken said:

But technically, it's still a diaper no matter what you call it. It's still a diaper no matter how you call it because it's always gona be a diaper regardless if it's on an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly person. Calling a diaper a brief is trying to lessen the stigma of being in a diaper but in reality, it's still a diaper and no amount of word salad is gona change reality.

Well no, that's it's my point, it's not. Like in the example I gave, I asked for a diaper. The nurse "confirmed" I'd get one, but came back with something that was decidedly not a diaper.

And by refusing ttlo call it a diaper doesn't help lessen the stigma, it actually enforces it.

[Slomo]

2 hours ago, John Davis said:

In some assisted living facilities and nursing homes the staff are actually forbidden to use the term "diaper" and, instead, must refer to it as a protective garment.

--John

Exactly. Because of the stigma associated with it they choose to further enforce that stigma.

And if you think about it, normal cotton briefs are "absorbent garments". Though I doubt any incontinent person wants to be stuck in those for long. Hence the need to avoid word salads like this.

[Iken]

3 hours ago, Slomo said:

Well no, that's it's my point, it's not. Like in the example I gave, I asked for a diaper. The nurse "confirmed" I'd get one, but came back with something that was decidedly not a diaper.

And by refusing ttlo call it a diaper doesn't help lessen the stigma, it actually enforces it.

Even in the medical community they still try to call diapers briefs and their logic is that they don't want to associate the word diaper with adults. To me, that's not lessening the stigma and it's still a diaper regardless of who's wearing them. By refusing to call it a diaper, they are not helping with the stigma issue and are making it worse.

Which is why to me, it's a diaper regardless of how they call it.

[Slomo]

1 hour ago, Iken said:

Even in the medical community they still try to call diapers briefs and their logic is that they don't want to associate the word diaper with adults. To me, that's not lessening the stigma and it's still a diaper regardless of who's wearing them. By refusing to call it a diaper, they are not helping with the stigma issue and are making it worse.

Which is why to me, it's a diaper regardless of how they call it.

I 100% agree with your first part. But not the second. That's ok though, I believe we can at least agree to disagree. Please just don't ask me to go smell a putrid stinkweed of instant death, or expect me to clean your carpets after expecting a mattress pad would have actually worked for walking around.

[Zombie_Turtle]

thoughts: we start instilling the stigma at a young age.  We call toddler diapers "training pants" or "pull-ups"  in reality they are diapers without tapes.  Is it really a way to to instill pride in our children that they have graduated potty training step 1 by getting out of "baby diapers"?  or is it really just a way to tell kids that they are getting bigger and are expected to not be a baby and wear diapers, thereby validating the shame they would feel if they fail at using the toilet.  

 

Is that all wrong?  Probably not completely but if we didn't have to make up different words for what diapers really are, and not treat the process as something to fail or succeed at, would that change the perception?  not really sure.  Just thoughts.

 

[Slomo]

15 hours ago, Zombie_Turtle said:

thoughts: we start instilling the stigma at a young age.  We call toddler diapers "training pants" or "pull-ups"  in reality they are diapers without tapes.  Is it really a way to to instill pride in our children that they have graduated potty training step 1 by getting out of "baby diapers"?  or is it really just a way to tell kids that they are getting bigger and are expected to not be a baby and wear diapers, thereby validating the shame they would feel if they fail at using the toilet.  

 

Is that all wrong?  Probably not completely but if we didn't have to make up different words for what diapers really are, and not treat the process as something to fail or succeed at, would that change the perception?  not really sure.  Just thoughts.

 

Right on point there. I believe parents do this because little kids are usually in a hurry to be big. So using that drive parents tell their kids diapers are only for babies and only big kids are potty trained. Partly because society expects parents to potty train their kids, and most schools require it. Also in part because let's face it, parents get tired of changing diapers AND they are seen as a cost that can be completely cut out at some point. 

I certainly can't blame them for either part, even though their method for getting there is what perpetuates that stigma.

[Iken]

16 hours ago, Zombie_Turtle said:

thoughts: we start instilling the stigma at a young age.  We call toddler diapers "training pants" or "pull-ups"  in reality they are diapers without tapes.  Is it really a way to to instill pride in our children that they have graduated potty training step 1 by getting out of "baby diapers"?  or is it really just a way to tell kids that they are getting bigger and are expected to not be a baby and wear diapers, thereby validating the shame they would feel if they fail at using the toilet.  

 

Is that all wrong?  Probably not completely but if we didn't have to make up different words for what diapers really are, and not treat the process as something to fail or succeed at, would that change the perception?  not really sure.  Just thoughts.

 

That's where I think and believe the stigma about diapers got started. It's that parents and society are telling kids the shame of wearing diapers and shaming them if they still wear diapers. I think it also hurts the kids if they are still kept in diapers and hurts them further into adulthood. It's why I am all for ending the shame and guilt about wearing diapers. I know some kids with medical conditions that have to wear diapers and why should we shame them. We should never shame anyone who has a medical need for diapers.

I think making up a different words for diaper is a word game society plays or to hide the reality, guilt and shame for wearing a diaper. A diaper is a diaper no matter who wears it, whether it's an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly. No amount of word play is ever going to hide reality from people. At the end of the day, it's still a diaper no matter how much word play people use.

It's why for me as an incontinent, I am not ashamed of wearing diapers to help manage and deal with my incontinence. What I am ashamed of is society not growing up and still using the old, outdated norms about diapers.

[Slomo]

23 minutes ago, Iken said:

What I am ashamed of is society not growing up and still using the old, outdated norms about diapers

The irony of that is not lost on me.

[zzyzx]

On 4/4/2023 at 11:41 AM, Slomo said:

Absorbent brief, pad, pullup, pampers, diaper.

We've all heard them call one thing or another, but so seldom do we hear them called what they are. Diapers. (To be clear, I'm referring to a disposable adult brief which has tapes or tabs. Either cloth-like or plastic backed).

Someone once said a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I say not if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.

 

To me, proper names actually are important. If you say you need pampers, then be ready to try and squeeze into a diaper that's 10 sizes too small. Pads, hope you don't plan on getting up anytime soon. Or pullups, hope you don't need something more absorbent. Like an actual diaper an adult might need.

I've even been played by this bad wording too. In a hospital I reported I needed diapers. The nurse said ok, let me bring you some pads. And sure enough, what I got was not the diaper I needed. Nor would the actual pad I got be what I needed when going to my physical therapy.

Look at it this way too. Most would recognize there is a generalized stigma among the public towards anyone other than a baby or senior needing diapers. Yet we here are proof that is completely false. By refusing to call them diapers, people only play into and perpetuate that stigma.

My advice, don't let the stigma get to you. Do you ever feel embarrased by needing spectacles or glasses, braces or casts, or well you get the idea. And the next time (if ever) someone tries to give you a hard time over "diapers", just know that's all on them. And that person is to be pittied, not be embarrassed by.

@Slomo: Ah, another good topic I've been meaning to comment on.  I have two comments, one in agreement and one where calling an adult diaper a diaper wasn't good...

First, yes, I'd wish the medical community when they work with someone who calls a diaper a diaper (and I've used the "a rose by any other name" analogy).  I had the protection discussion with my current urologist, and I call what I wear cloth diapers, and I believe he did use the diaper word at least once by the end of the discussion, since he knew I was comfortable with it.  However, my last visit I had a reason to get a Cystoscopy and when the doctor left me to get ready he told me to leave my shorts on (while waiting after getting ready for the procedure).  (I was wearing long pants at the time.)  So.... they definitely don't use the "diaper" word normally....

My secondary nocturnal enuresis hit before my parents past.  Dad had more than one medical issue that contributed to incontinence issues. And he never accepted that he needed to go back to being diapered full time to properly manage the issues.  My offer to leave bed pads (and chair pads) were accepted and used.  Offer or suggestion to use diapers were never accepted by dad.  It is obvious to me that he had been traumatized as a child prior to getting out of diapers.  What specifically was done, I don't know.   I am very glad that my parents never shamed, embarrassed, punished, etc. me to get me out of diapers.  Instead I can tell from memories that surfaced after putting myself back in diapers that I was give (strong) positive encouragement when things went right and little if anything was said when it didn't....  And between my siblings and I, I was the hardest to get potty trained.....

[Zombie_Turtle]

Quote

My secondary nocturnal enuresis hit before my parents past.  Dad had more than one medical issue that contributed to incontinence issues. And he never accepted that he needed to go back to being diapered full time to properly manage the issues.  My offer to leave bed pads (and chair pads) were accepted and used.  Offer or suggestion to use diapers were never accepted by dad. 

Diaper resistance is a thing. I definitely had that problem when I needed to start wearing them. I had to have several accidents in public before I would get get over the shame of wearing a diaper.  Isn't that ironic?  Definitely foolish looking at it now.    Not exactly sure why i had such a hard time with it then compared to my attitude now.  Some people never get over it.  I guess one thing that helped me was seeking out help from others in the incontinence community.   

[Slomo]

32 minutes ago, Zombie_Turtle said:

Diaper resistance is a thing. I definitely had that problem when I needed to start wearing them. I had to have several accidents in public before I would get get over the shame of wearing a diaper.  Isn't that ironic?  Definitely foolish looking at it now.    Not exactly sure why i had such a hard time with it then compared to my attitude now.  Some people never get over it.  I guess one thing that helped me was seeking out help from others in the incontinence community.   

I believe it's part of our human nature to want to fit in. I fell for it too, and also had to deal with that denial and self-shame when I first became incontinent. Because that's what society says we should feel like. It takes realizing society is generalaly wrong about diaper shaming, as well as finding others who can agree with us on that. Like right here.

[Zombie_Turtle]

Quote

I believe it's part of our human nature to want to fit in. I fell for it too, and also had to deal with that denial and self-shame when I first became incontinent. Because that's what society says we should feel like. It takes realizing society is generalaly wrong about diaper shaming, as well as finding others who can agree with us on that. Like right here.

That is very well said.

[John Davis]

I actually had a doctor in a rehab center tell me that using the term "diaper" was insulting to an adult and robbed them of their dignity.😱

I maintained that acceptance was the first critical step to coping effectively with incontinence and using the dreaded "D" word was part of that.  Unfortunately, my words fell on deaf ears.  The staff was forbidden to use the words "diaper" or "bib."  The latter was a "clothing protector."😟

--John

[Iken]

8 hours ago, John Davis said:

I actually had a doctor in a rehab center tell me that using the term "diaper" was insulting to an adult and robbed them of their dignity.😱

I maintained that acceptance was the first critical step to coping effectively with incontinence and using the dreaded "D" word was part of that.  Unfortunately, my words fell on deaf ears.  The staff was forbidden to use the words "diaper" or "bib."  The latter was a "clothing protector."😟

--John

I actually think it's an insult to Incontinent folks who try to call diapers something else. It robs them of their dignity and reality.

It's why I am all for reclaiming the word diapers for what it is.

[JeanPierre]

indeed a diaper is a diaper. It is, what it is.

[TheHangedKing]

I call them diapers to be general and then tape ons or pull ons to be more specific 

[Iken]

I call them diapers regardless of what the medical community thinks

[Scarth]

Last time i was in hospital the nurse told me that they are told to call them absorbent briefs not diapers.