Been there, done that. I had severe urge incontinence with a neurogenig dyssynergia sphincter (blockage). The pain would get unbearable, and happened all too often. It tried it all, meds were ineffective and/or came with worse side effects. An interstim implant actually made things worse. And the only relief I ever had was when I was catheterized. Worst still was most urologist were quacks who refused to even believe I had a problem (I couldn't complete a urodynamics test by peeing out the catheter due to my blockage).
Eventually I met a urologist at the Mayo Clinic, and he actually believed my complaints and worked with me to get that diagnosis. But I was so bad by that point I had multiple hemorrhoids, a bleeding anal fissure, gout, and indications my kidneys were in danger of shutting down.
He wanted to do a stoma surgery (literally make a new pee hole), but i convinced him to do a series of sphincterotomy surgeries instead. He still hesitated saying the surgery would make me incontinent and reliant on diapers. But I countered it wouldn't since I had long ago already been urge incontinent and reliant on diapers.
It ultimately took 15 surgeries, including removing my prostate! But I am finally able to live without constant pain. And with a plus of not floodings my diaeprs and worrying about leaks. Totally worth it. So yeah, you're not a freak for wanting to be diapered.
Ps. I say when life gives you lemons, you learn to like lemonade. And when life gives you incontinence, you learn to like diapers.