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I feel so embarrassed and defeated


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Every night now this month. I'm sick of it. Tired of going through every pair of underwear and pants. I (22F) cannot go through a single night without wetting the bed. I'll cut off drinking 6 hours before med minimum, go to the bathroom before I wind down for bed, then go to the bathroom just to make sure not even a few droplets are left ensuring my bladder is 100% empty when I go to sleep. I will consume no more liquids, go to sleep, and I'm waking up anywhere from 2-4 hours later in my own puddle. Even when I wear those special underwear made for this, I'm filling them to the brim even though I have had nothing more to drink in the last 6 hours and I have made multiple trips to the bathroom just to make sure I shouldn't wet the bed. No matter what I do, I cannot stop it. I don't know if medication exists to help me, but this has been an on going problem in my life. I went a good while without wetting, then all of a sudden because I changed my drinking habits (only drinking water to cut down on my sugar and caffine intake) I cannot have a singular dry night. I'm so fed, I'm terrified when I move in with my oartner because it's so embarrassing and how do I explain that I as an adult woman cannot control myself no matter what precautions I take?

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Many of us have tried "special underwear" and found that for nighttime wetting they just are not adequate.ūüôĀ ¬† Medication often has unpleasant side-effects. ¬†

You deserve both peace of mind and a decent night's sleep.  It is obvious that this has been very stressful for you.  I truly can sympathize, having been there.

You need to make the decision to change from "special underwear" to a real tabbed diaper.   Many of us would recommend a middle-grade or premium diaper with a diaper cover.  At night the diaper cover is important, particularly for side-sleepers.  At night my diaper is a Better-Dry.  Another great diaper is the Northshore Care MegaMax.

Read through some of the discussions here about how we have approached the same problem.  I am sure you will receive many different recommendations as we have found solutions that worked best for us.

Best wishes and please keep us informed.


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I'd recommend against dehydrating yourself like that. It's well proven that constant dehydration can and will lead to a host of of other problems down the line. If you think enuresis (bedwetting) is bad now, try adding kidney stones, gout, or UTIs (to name just a few) to the mix.

You may not like this advice, but you really will be better off just using the protection you already know you need. It also sounds like you're already past needing a pullup or other lighter incontinence products too. Try out a cloth like diaper, like Northshore's air supreme, or similar. Try your best to ignore the stigma and embarrassment of diapers too, it's all unfounded. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/11/2023 at 12:02 PM, Incont said:

There is a bedwetting medication that reduces urine production at night. DDAVP

On 11/11/2023 at 5:42 PM, Slomo said:

I'd recommend against dehydrating yourself like that. It's well proven that constant dehydration can and will lead to a host of of other problems down the line.

I would absolutely not dehydrate yourself.  From what you said you cut out sugary drinks (very dehydrating) and you are experiencing more urine production.  That sounds normal, but also sounds like your body is adjusting.   I spent years managing overactive bladder and incontinence by dehydrating myself.  This was not a smart choice, and I believe it to have contributed to some of health problems I struggle with now.  


From what I gathered in your post, you have struggled with bladder issues for a while and it isn't setting alarm bells off  but I would still recommend seeing a good doctor to rule any major health things out, and then seeing a Urologist who can tell you if medications like DDAVP that Incont mentioned are right for you. 

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