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Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom. First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year. Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen. Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom. Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage. My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose. Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly. And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help. If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long. Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago. Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.

I thought I'd add my own diagnosis here too. Though it's more like a fraught journey to getting one. Sorry, it's a long story. First off, I'm convinced that "OAB" is urologist code for "we recognize something is going on with your urine retention and/bladder, but we don't know what. So, let's throw pills at it and see if it makes you go away". Never settle for an OAB diagnosis, or more pills, it does nothing for you. So I started off with a major auto accident that put me into a wheelchair for 3 months and then a long leg cast for 3 more. I found I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, so my urologist said it was just my limited mobility. Official diagnosis: functional incontinence related to mobility. Nothing to worry about or look into, and that I should manage with diapers for the time being. About 6 month later my mobility slightly returned, yet I was still having problems making it in time. A new urologist, and I got a new diagnosis of OAB. And began trying a different pill every 3-6 months. I was also subjected to multiple urological diagnosis tests. Of note here: this test has you empty you bladder and measures output rate and volume. Then they put a catheter in you, and slowly fill our bladder. You call out when you feel it and again when full. Then they have you pee past the catheter as much as possible to measure pressure, rate and volume. Me though, i could never pee past the catheter so that always invalidated the test. All this occured during at least another 5-7 years. I moved, twice, so add another new urologist each time, but no actual changes. And had an insurance change too, so more of the same yet again. Eventually I was fed up with the non-support I was getting and switched urologists- yet again. This doctor actually talked to me to come up with a new diagnosis, but also made sure to include another diagnosis test- which i again failed for results. New diagnosis, Severe Urge incontinence. Followed up by even more pills every 3-6 months. Uuugh. Another point here, with all the pills. I found if I refused any more pills then every single urologist would get stuck on that one pill. Likely thinking it "would work" if only I gave it a real try. They'd be so hung up on that, they couldn't look past it and move on to something else. So, after many refusals I found it was faster and easier to just take them and prove they don't work, or worse ad bad side effects. Eventually, after 18 plus years I landed at the Mayo Clinic in Florida. Finally I had found a urologist who would listen to me once again. He deduced the reason why I failed the test was two parts. First the catheter used in the tests was too big for me. And second I was experiencing too much pain to just bear through it. So, one strong pain pill before hand, and a child's size 8fr catheter and I barely got through it. My internal bladder pressure was literally off their normal chart space. In fact, it registered 3-4x higher. New diagnosis, Sever Urge Incontince coupled with a Neurogenic Dyssynergia Sphincter (basically, my muscle wiring was crossed and instead of relaxing to pee my muscles was clamping down instead). Gee, go figure. But FINALLY, a proper diagnosis. From there we then determing my sphincter had to be bypassed, and my bladder couldn't be allowed to fill. That was the only way to alleviate both diagnosis, and that no pill would have ever helped me. He was concerned this would make me incontinent though, and hesitated. Up until I pointed out I had been incontinent, and needed diapers, for the previous 18 years. The surgery would though alleviate my inability pee, completely remove my painful urges, and greatly improve my quality of life. I was then scheduled for what would be the first of 15 surgeries to get me there. In the end it took me out 20 years to get the right diagnosis, AND to get me properly treated. So if you've read this far, my advice is DO NOT SETTLE, not for an OAB diagnosis, not for more pills, and definitely not another quack urologist who isn't even willing to spend the time and listen to you.

Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing. Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough. So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be. When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either. In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup. Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.

Just wanted to give a shout-out to our friends at InControl Diapers for providing the start-up funding to open this forum. Please show them some love and check out their selection of premium incontinence management products!

Who loves dealing with insurance companies? And have you ever wondered if they will cover the cost of your diapers? "Most" insurances will automatically deny coverage when first asked. Often stating they are not considered Durable Medical Equipment (DME), since they are not reusable. Except they actually do cover adult diapers, so that means they will provide them to you. And to get them to, you will need to file for an appeal. We'll, most usually do. Some people are just lucky to get them approved on the first try. In every case I've seen, you first need to go to your doctor, then get a prescription for those diapers. If possible try and get the prescription to say exactly what diapers you want. Though this part will take a little research first. And the easiest way I've seen to do that is to call your insurance provider, and ask for a list of the adult diapers they cover. If they don't have a list, ask to be directed to their supplier for adult diapers. This is going to be a different number for a warehouse distribution facility. Ask them what brands of diapers they carry, and write them all down. Either way, with list in hand go look up the different kinds they have until you find the best one. Now take that brand to your doctor for getting that prescription. Of note here: Most insurances will only allow the cheapest and crappiest diapers out there. So expect the "best" might only be something like Tranquality ATN, or Seni (both of which are cloth backed disposables, and are barely functional as a diaper). Alternatively, a very few companies will secretly allow for a "drop shipment". Meaning they will approve of other non-covered diapers, shipped by someone else (such as LL medical or North Shore Care), as long as that order doesn't exceed a certain price. As example, you can do this with the VA west of the Mississippi, but not VA east. You just need the prescription to say what diaper that is. And don't forget it includes the size too! Whew, ok. From here your doctor's office should submit the claim on your behalf. If not, get a written script and take it to your insurance carrier in person. Give it two days if your doctor submits it, then proactively call your insurance company. Or ask to talk to someone if delivering it in person. Now, ask them to verify your claim and if they can send you the diapers you wanted (that were named on your script). Many will still try and switch it to a cheaper brand, so this step is necessary to prevent that. And there you go. Just sit back and wait for those cheap but free diapers to show up at your house. But also be aware, that shipment is usually not discrete. And now you know why most everyone just buys better diapers on their own- unless cost is a serious concern. Which brings me to a Health Savings Account (HSA), or a Flexible Savings Account (FSA). You ask your employer to set this up for you, and they take out a certain amount of money from your paycheck- before taxes. They deposit this money into that account, which you can spend on government pre-approved items (there an online list). And yes the government includes adult diapers as an approved, tax free purchase with any HSA/FSA debit card. Note: there is no government requirement for disclosing why you may need diapers. You can get them regardless of that. However, be prepared as you may still need to disclose what you are purchasing to your employer or HSA/FSA banking holder. After that you can make an online or in-store purchase with that debit card. Make sure you save all receipts too, as the banking card holder or IRS may ask for proof of all purchases on that card. And now you know why most everyone just buys diapers on their own.

Wow, that's quite a journey! I'm glad you finally got a correct diagnosis. And also WOW - 15 surgeries. That's a lot! How has life been since getting the proper treatment?

Ah, that may be contributing to your leaking too. Boosters are fine, but you have to make sure they aren't too thick or wide. Because of the leak barriers. They need to rest on you skin, otherwise any wetness can run right past them before it has a chance to be absorbed.

I dislike diapers with tape landing zones😟 for the reasons discussed above. Landing zones require the tapes to be where they limit our ability to position them optimally for our personal shapes. For example, try MegaMax and then try MegaMax Air, the breathable version of the diaper without a tape landing zone. I can position the tapes optimally on the MegaMax Air and have fewer leaks than with the MegaMax with the landing zone.

@Slomo: Ah, another good topic I've been meaning to comment on. I have two comments, one in agreement and one where calling an adult diaper a diaper wasn't good... First, yes, I'd wish the medical community when they work with someone who calls a diaper a diaper (and I've used the "a rose by any other name" analogy). I had the protection discussion with my current urologist, and I call what I wear cloth diapers, and I believe he did use the diaper word at least once by the end of the discussion, since he knew I was comfortable with it. However, my last visit I had a reason to get a Cystoscopy and when the doctor left me to get ready he told me to leave my shorts on (while waiting after getting ready for the procedure). (I was wearing long pants at the time.) So.... they definitely don't use the "diaper" word normally.... My secondary nocturnal enuresis hit before my parents past. Dad had more than one medical issue that contributed to incontinence issues. And he never accepted that he needed to go back to being diapered full time to properly manage the issues. My offer to leave bed pads (and chair pads) were accepted and used. Offer or suggestion to use diapers were never accepted by dad. It is obvious to me that he had been traumatized as a child prior to getting out of diapers. What specifically was done, I don't know. I am very glad that my parents never shamed, embarrassed, punished, etc. me to get me out of diapers. Instead I can tell from memories that surfaced after putting myself back in diapers that I was give (strong) positive encouragement when things went right and little if anything was said when it didn't.... And between my siblings and I, I was the hardest to get potty trained.....

@Slomo: While I can appreciate your position, there are a few parts I don't observe (yet) and may disagree with. First off, I use cloth diapers. As such, you WILL feel the wetness after sufficiently drenching the diaper. I'm fortunate enough that after a few days of (heavy) wetting a heavy diaper at night, and slight use of talc power I can get back to going with out talc powder and as long as I don't try to wear too long, I'm fine. Ok, I'm wet and not messy when I use the diaper (and on the very rare occasion when messy happens, I make sure to change as soon as possible and clean up real well). And when I'm on the edge of starting irritation (rash), I'll use talc powder for a couple of days and typically get back to normal.... I do use the regular (fuller strength 40% Zinc Oxide if I remember correctly) Desinex (sp?) (or equivalent generic store brand) when I need something more than the talc powder - for a few days before backing off to talc and then back to normal (nothing extra in the diaper).... I'm also not wet all the time.... I also can wear a wet diaper for longer than I should (and I believe I'm more comfortable than most in wet cloth diapers). Your mileage will likely very. I'm not yet to the point of shaving down there.... I can see the point. For me, my main issue is at night and a morning shower seems to be taking care of the main problem.... I'll agree I now have a light day time component and may be on the edge of needing to start changing before bed where in the past I could get away with waiting till morning. As to Talc powder, I may have to schedule a trip to Europe or Australia when I finally get close to running out. : (

@Slomo: Thank you for this comment on tape landing zone and lower tapes. The next time I try a Northshore Megamax on I'm going to have to look at this. Even with two Northshore boosters I can end up leaking at the legs -- probably due in part to a poor seal, from what you mention. Interesting. I've had a better luck on the last vacation using Tykables blue camies. First, it was easier to gain the needed access during the day to use the restroom when needed without using or wrecking the diaper. Second, I think I get a better seal through the legs. Up till now I was thinking both the Megamax ans the Cammie should work similar, and both ted to work with a high capacity stuffer in front. But I shouldn't need that much.... Now I think I could get away with an old style (6 tape) attends or depends with the Tykables high capacity stuffer in front.... I'll have to give that a try when I find an older depends still around stuffed in an out of the way place cause they didn't work..... Hmmm....

That's what I do to avoid diaper rashes. I make sure I am thoroughly cleaned and in between diaper changes while getting the diaper all prepared, I sit on a booster pad, or on a cheap pull up that I can throw away. Afterwards, I put on m my diaper, booster and get on with the rest of the day.

Thanks John Davis. And agreed, the only way to get a good handle on rashes is decades of trial and error. Or hopefully from someone else who's been through it. That's what I'm about on here. Trying to make my decades of hardship mean something- by helping others through (or avoid) it too.

The irony of that is not lost on me.

Slomo, great topic. You have summarized what took me years to learn via trial and error. Let's hope readers will appreciate the value of what you have written.👍 One thing I would like to add is the importance of a hand mirror for self-inspection of those hard-to-see diaper areas. This is to identify early skin irritation before it becomes an actual rash. I dry out every day after my shower by sitting on a cloth booster pad or on an open diaper. If I leak, I merely need to tape up the diaper. At every diaper change I clean up either with a damp washcloth or wipes. I then stand in front of a heater with a fan to dry out. For rash avoidance, Extra Virgin olive oil provides a nice light barrier that is easy to apply and remove. When I need more protection I use Desitin Daily Defense. If I feel that I am at risk of a bowel accident and will not be able to change soon thereafter, I choose a barrier cream with move Zinc Oxide. That will provide an effective barrier between the skin and stool but is more difficult to apply and remove. I completely shave my pubic hair and my genitals. Shaving the scrotum is a tedious business and any nick is sure to leave a bloody diaper afterward. --John

Well I almost can't argue that logic. Until you start looking at the actual definition of "panty" or "panties". From the professionals: Merriam Webster says "a woman's or child's undergarment covering the lower trunk and made with closed crotch". Dictionary.com says "underpants or undershorts for women and children". And Oxford says "a piece of women’s underwear that covers the body from the middle part to the tops of the legs". They are all fairly well in agreement, and do not agree with your own personal understanding of the term. And that difference is decidedly not the fly. That's why it's so important to know and apply the correct terminology. Exactly as I was trying to point out in the other thread. Not to define yourself or make yourself try and fit a label, but so everyone else knows what you're talking about. So when you say you're wearing panties, is say good for you in your crossdressing. It's not for me though, so I'll stick with my adult sized diapers and diaper cover. Side note. This reminds me of a relavent saying. Communication in a marriage is not the key to happiness. You can communicate with each other all day long, but if the two of you don't full comprehend what the other is saying then you'll just end up red in the face. Nope, understanding is the key to happiness in a marriage.

That's where I think and believe the stigma about diapers got started. It's that parents and society are telling kids the shame of wearing diapers and shaming them if they still wear diapers. I think it also hurts the kids if they are still kept in diapers and hurts them further into adulthood. It's why I am all for ending the shame and guilt about wearing diapers. I know some kids with medical conditions that have to wear diapers and why should we shame them. We should never shame anyone who has a medical need for diapers. I think making up a different words for diaper is a word game society plays or to hide the reality, guilt and shame for wearing a diaper. A diaper is a diaper no matter who wears it, whether it's an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly. No amount of word play is ever going to hide reality from people. At the end of the day, it's still a diaper no matter how much word play people use. It's why for me as an incontinent, I am not ashamed of wearing diapers to help manage and deal with my incontinence. What I am ashamed of is society not growing up and still using the old, outdated norms about diapers.

I would definitely recommend their stuff. comfortable and works well for me. The Incontrol Active Air is the only cloth backed diaper I have used that doesn't sag or get loose.

We need to get North shore to sponsor as well

The Incontrol Elilte Hybrid is arguably the best quality diaper on the market😀. It definitely is worth trying out. --John

Preference: White, layered night weight cloth diapers. When issues first hit I could not find a disposable adult diaper on the market that could reliably handle my nighttime output. Now, for my last vacation I had white North Shore Megamax and Tykables blue Cammies, using a Tykables stuffer, can typically handle my night time output. And I find the Tykables tapes easier to deal with in the day time when I normally can make it to the bathroom but still need some protection. I can typically go with one diaper a day, changing after the morning shower. I have some others older ones on hand that I probably should also try with the new stuffers, such as (old) Abena M4 and maybe some old Molicare's still in the closet. North Shore and the AB market have finally got a disposable product I can reliably use most nights.

My Favorite diapers are as follows NorthShore Megamax diaper in Tye dye ABU Little paws ABU Space Tykables Camo Tykable LITTLE RAWRS Tykable GALACTIC Tykables Cammies Blue Diapers I prefer ABDL diapers over medical diapers because they hold more and last longer than Medical diapers. As an Incontinent, I want a diaper that can last all day and not worry about a leak.

Hi Brian and John. I have a lot of favorites now that I have discovered most of the brands and tried them out. And yes, I do appreciate color choices. I have always had a personal taste in clothing and being somewhat stylish. I am a dad so i became "not cool" years back 😁, however, I do like to dress well. Makes me somewhat sad that I can't wear some of the pants that are "in style" because they are snug fitting in the crotch area, (not great for diaper wearing), but i have found choices that suit me while still being discreet. I have more recently tried out some of the AB brands that offer high capacity diapers. I have always passed by them as cosplay type items that are expensive and not useful for incontinence. That I have found to be the furthest thing from the truth. In fact some are more comfortable and work amazingly better than "medical" grade diapers. While i don't really have a taste for the baby prints, but there are prints and diapers in colors that are a nice change from plain white. I did however order the "Mega Safari" type from rearz while they were on sale. I caught a look at myself and had a good chuckle. It wasn't really "me" but they are very cute and for folks that use them for emotional needs I imagine they are fun. The ink bled onto my skin so I will probably avoid buying them again. Colorful diapers that I have tried and like so far: Rearz Skulls Northshore Megamax black Northshore Polka dots Tykables Camelots Regular diapers I like: Betterdry Abena Plastic back Incontrol Essential Incontrol Active Air Main thing for me is if I have to wear these all day I want to be comfortable and feel dry. the Incontrol diapers have really helped me out with that. A real nice thing about them is the tape guides. I have sometime have trouble with keeping things symmetrical so that is a really helpful feature. It's also nice to forget that i'm putting on diapers because im "disabled" so YES colors and patterns are great and I 100% appreciate them.

Hi Brian. You have company as I like colors. Sterile hospital white diapers are boring. I do not wear infantile prints, but like tie-dye, polka dots, paint splotches, etc. I would wear prints if they were adult prints. --John