Diapers or Briefs

[Iken]

Being Incontinent and kept in diapers, how many are okay with the medical community calling our diapers a brief. I have seen many medical providers call my adult diapers briefs and it's something that irks me because for a diaper is a diaper no matter who's wearing it and I think calling a diaper a brief sometimes feels like they are trying to hide incontinence from people. I look at it like this, a diaper is a diaper no matter if it's worn by a baby, child, adult or elderly. Calling it something else for adults and elderly makes it feel like incontinence is something to be hidden from people. It's why I am one of those who call my diapers a diaper because that is reality and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

[John Davis]

Ikea, I so agree.  I am on the warpath to persuade everyone to use the dreaded "D" word - "diaper."  For me, acknowledging that you need to wear diapers is an essential part of acceptance and necessary for coping.  

Unfortunately, most of the medical community is working against us with regard to terminology.  I have mentioned elsewhere that in many rehab facilities and hospitals, staff are forbidden to use the word "diaper" and instead must resort to euphemisms.

--John

[Dan]

I also agree. Insisting on calling it a brief gives the impression that there is something wrong or shameful with a diaper. There isn’t and there is no need to encourage the shame that some people feel — and that I used to feel. I wear a diaper, and there is nothing shameful about that.

[Iken]

5 hours ago, John Davis said:

Ikea, I so agree.  I am on the warpath to persuade everyone to use the dreaded "D" word - "diaper."  For me, acknowledging that you need to wear diapers is an essential part of acceptance and necessary for coping.  

Unfortunately, most of the medical community is working against us with regard to terminology.  I have mentioned elsewhere that in many rehab facilities and hospitals, staff are forbidden to use the word "diaper" and instead must resort to euphemisms.

--John

I'm like that too. I am on a warpath to make diapers feel normal. I try to fight so hard to use the word "Diaper" instead of Briefs. The word "brief" makes it feel like I should be ashamed for wearing them. It's why I am not ashamed to say I wear diapers and I wear diapers to cope my Incontinence.

The problem I see is that in society and the Medical community they want to hide the notion of people who have incontinence issues and wear diapers. It's kind of funny that society is okay with babies wearing diapers but when it comes to a child, teen, adult, elderly or disabled. They seem to change the name and not stick to reality and stick to facts.

For me, I still call it a diaper no matter what society and the medical community calls it. I call it a diaper regardless and I see it for what it is. Calling it something else imply's I need to hide or feel ashamed. It's why I am not afraid, ashamed or humiliated for wearing a diaper. I never use the term that the medical community wants to shove down our faces.

5 hours ago, Dan said:

I also agree. Insisting on calling it a brief gives the impression that there is something wrong or shameful with a diaper. There isn’t and there is no need to encourage the shame that some people feel — and that I used to feel. I wear a diaper, and there is nothing shameful about that.

It's why I am one of those who hate the word "brief" and when someone in the medical community says that, it makes me feel shameful and makes me think that their is something wrong. I feel that there isn't anything wrong and we shouldn't encourage shame in people who need diapers. I wear diapers and I know I am not ashamed about that.

To me, a Diaper is what helps me get by in life.

[Slomo]

Same. I've already said this in a couple of other threads, but refusing to call them what they are only breeds confusion and heightens the stigma. I'm also a big advocate for calling things what they are. And if someone calls my diapers something else I will typically correct them on it.

[MichaelD]

So I think that there are very different views on the subject. There was once a patient survey in England where I just can not find the link, but the result was that the fewest patients preferred the term "diaper".

You can certainly set up a lot of theories about why this is so - but the fact is that it probably does not come from the nursing staff.

In Germany, I learned that you should use the term that the patient uses. That's how it's usually done here in verbal communication. In the diagnoses, you read all sorts of things - but mostly the abbreviation IKM, which stands for incontinence aid.

[Iken]

I just think the term "brief" is derogatory and implies being ashamed and shamed for being kept in diapers. It's why I fight so hard change the name back from "briefs" to Diapers because that's they technically are called. Calling it something else just reinforces the stigma and shame associated with incontinence. Beside's there's nothing wrong about being in diapers or having Incontinence.

[Iken]

8 hours ago, Slomo said:

Same. I've already said this in a couple of other threads, but refusing to call them what they are only breeds confusion and heightens the stigma. I'm also a big advocate for calling things what they are. And if someone calls my diapers something else I will typically correct them on it.

I just think that stigmatizing people who wear diapers by calling it something else is wrong and erasing reality erases the reality of what diapers are. It's why i refuse to call diapers briefs and go along with the medical community. It's why I call them diapers because that's what I wear.

[John Davis]

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper.  What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs.  Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult.

I am a bit conflicted here.  Do public displays of ABDL and infantilism create public attitudes that are antithetical to what we are trying to achieve? (please note that I am focusing on "public displays." I am not against anyone choosing to be ABDL.

Good discussion.

--John

[Slomo]

1 hour ago, John Davis said:

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper.  What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs.  Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult.

I am a bit conflicted here.  Do public displays of ABDL and infantilism create public attitudes that are antithetical to what we are trying to achieve? (please note that I am focusing on "public displays." I am not against anyone choosing to be ABDL.

Good discussion.

--John

I've watched the abdl forums for a looooonnnnggg time. And can say for certain they do not undermine what we are trying to achieve. At least the vast majority don't.  And when some abdl does crop up in a bad way they are shot right back down. Policed by their own community.

In fact, I'd say the 30-40% of abdls who also have a diaper fetish are hidden so far in the closet they might as well be top secret about it. And the rest just want the idea of adults wearing a diaper (regardless of a physical OR psychological need) to be more socially acceptable. No forced exposure in public, except in places where it's already ok to be less dressed (like a locker room or at the beach). They just want the ability to be in public, with a diaper on, and not have to feel embarrased or be in fear of being found out. Pretty much like the rest of us.

[Iken]

7 hours ago, John Davis said:

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper.  What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs.  Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult.

The problem I see is with Society's expectation and norms about disabled people who have to wear diapers. Wearing a diaper doesn't make you less of an adult and what I think society needs to face is reality.

[Iken]

7 hours ago, Slomo said:

And the rest just want the idea of adults wearing a diaper (regardless of a physical OR psychological need) to be more socially acceptable. No forced exposure in public, except in places where it's already ok to be less dressed (like a locker room or at the beach). They just want the ability to be in public, with a diaper on, and not have to feel embarrased or be in fear of being found out. Pretty much like the rest of us.

That's how I feel because I just want to make diapers socially acceptable and not hide behind that stupid name. Just think how disabled people would feel if someone called their diapers "briefs" or how they are embarrassed if they have have a diaper on

[Scarth]

I asked a nurse last time i was in the hospital and its there policy to call them briefs, the last thing i want is to make my nurses day harder when its out of there control.

 

[Iken]

4 hours ago, Scarth said:

I asked a nurse last time i was in the hospital and its there policy to call them briefs, the last thing i want is to make my nurses day harder when its out of there control.

 

I also ask my nurses why they called diapers "briefs" and their reason was they didn't want to stigmatize people with the notion that adults with incontinence issues are wearing diapers

[Slomo]

13 hours ago, Scarth said:

I asked a nurse last time i was in the hospital and its there policy to call them briefs, the last thing i want is to make my nurses day harder when its out of there control.

 

I've run up against that too. Right after I requested a new diaper, the nurse said she'd get me a brief and be right back. And she came back with a pullup instead. So I had no choice but to correct her that I had asked for a diaper, not a pullup or brief and definitely not a flat pad to lay on.

The nurse also said they have to call them briefs or pads, but understood it would have been better to be clearer on the hospitals part. And also recognized the reinforced stigma only makes it worse. The nurse then said thanks for pointing it out and she'd bring it up to the hospital admin. So don't feel bad not pointing it out, the only way policies like this change is when people do complain.

[Scarth]

O  i always called them Diapers and  you are right about  it  being clear  on  your needs  .. but  after  she  told me thats  what  they have  to  call them  i didnt  correct  them..  the  same  nurse  looked at  one of  my  better drys i had in  my  bag and commented on  how  much  better  they are  then what  the  hospital uses  

 

[Iken]

I call them diapers regardless of what the Medical community calls them. I don't reinforce the shame in being in diapers and I always call them diapers despite what the Medical community calls them. Many time I have had Nurse call my diapers briefs but when I talk, I always call them diapers and explain that I wear diapers and not briefs. Saying Briefs, makes me feel like I have to hide my Incontinence and hide the fact that I wear diapers. Other times, when I have my diaper bag with me and they see my North Shore Mega Max diapers with Boosters, they always commented on how cute they look and how they look better than Nursing home and medical diapers.

[Slomo]

23 hours ago, Scarth said:

O  i always called them Diapers and  you are right about  it  being clear  on  your needs  .. but  after  she  told me thats  what  they have  to  call them  i didnt  correct  them..  the  same  nurse  looked at  one of  my  better drys i had in  my  bag and commented on  how  much  better  they are  then what  the  hospital uses  

 

Lol, I've had that happen a LOT too. Whenever they see my diapers (Betterdry before, Crinklz now) I always get inquiries about them. How they look so much better, cost, comfort, you name it. And of course why the prints.

[Iken]

6 hours ago, Slomo said:

Lol, I've had that happen a LOT too. Whenever they see my diapers (Betterdry before, Crinklz now) I always get inquiries about them. How they look so much better, cost, comfort, you name it. And of course why the prints.

That happens to me all the time when the Nurses see my diapers, especially Northshore Mega Max diapers. I always get questions asked from Nurses on how they look and how they work on people like me. I often times show them the diapers and they even comment how they look on me