Slomo

Well I almost can't argue that logic. Until you start looking at the actual definition of "panty" or "panties". From the professionals: Merriam Webster says "a woman's or child's undergarment covering the lower trunk and made with closed crotch". Dictionary.com says "underpants or undershorts for women and children". And Oxford says "a piece of women’s underwear that covers the body from the middle part to the tops of the legs". They are all fairly well in agreement, and do not agree with your own personal understanding of the term. And that difference is decidedly not the fly. That's why it's so important to know and apply the correct terminology. Exactly as I was trying to point out in the other thread. Not to define yourself or make yourself try and fit a label, but so everyone else knows what you're talking about. So when you say you're wearing panties, is say good for you in your crossdressing. It's not for me though, so I'll stick with my adult sized diapers and diaper cover. Side note. This reminds me of a relavent saying. Communication in a marriage is not the key to happiness. You can communicate with each other all day long, but if the two of you don't full comprehend what the other is saying then you'll just end up red in the face. Nope, understanding is the key to happiness in a marriage.

Oh I understand that. I was just wondering how well they compare to something like depends pullups. I used to use their real fit when all I need is an hour or two of protection, and when a thinner garment would make more sense (such as my rare appearance at a gym or rehab clinic). Tranquility's cloth ATN has filled that bill for me as of late. Except, I would also like something that's reusable and also less likely to leak like a pullup does.

Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom. First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year. Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen. Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom. Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage. My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose. Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly. And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help. If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long. Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago. Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.

Right on point there. I believe parents do this because little kids are usually in a hurry to be big. So using that drive parents tell their kids diapers are only for babies and only big kids are potty trained. Partly because society expects parents to potty train their kids, and most schools require it. Also in part because let's face it, parents get tired of changing diapers AND they are seen as a cost that can be completely cut out at some point. I certainly can't blame them for either part, even though their method for getting there is what perpetuates that stigma.

Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing. Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough. So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be. When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either. In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup. Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.

Very understandable. It took me more practice to change while standing than it did laying down too. Remember my tip about memorizing where the tapes end up though? The next time you do do have a good fit, try to see where the tapes ended up at. You can use distance from edges, how far apart the tapes are from each other, the padding underneath as a mark point, or any other features like tape landing zone or even prints/lines. Also try to remember where the top back and top front of the diaper ended up in relation to your body. Then the next time you want to try changing while standing, completely forget about trying to get the right alignment or fit. All you need to do is put the diaper and the tapes in the exact same spot. And voiola, it's an instant diaper change (like cooking with just add water). Easier said than done, I know, but once mastered it makes changing much easier, and incredibly fast too. As example, I typically change in under a minute- from taking old one off to new one completely on (not including time for wipes cream or powder). It's also part of why I prefer Crinklz, my lower tapes go 1/2 inch from the bottom edge and are placed fully before the green wavy line. My top tapes go 1 inch below the top edge, and full over the green wavy line. Believe it or not, I can even pre-place the bottom tapes then step into them like a pullup and finish taping the top. A necessity I found when trying to change in a porta potty once. No laying down needed, and definitely no leaning on a wall to hold it in place before taping.

I 100% agree with your first part. But not the second. That's ok though, I believe we can at least agree to disagree. Please just don't ask me to go smell a putrid stinkweed of instant death, or expect me to clean your carpets after expecting a mattress pad would have actually worked for walking around.

In a other thread about what type/color anyone chooses to wear, I'm only seeing positive reactions to others noticing us wearing a not-plain-white diaper (or even just a diaper in general). That got me wondering, regardless of our need for wearing a diaper, has anyone ever been confronted about wearing one and gotten any pushback or negative remarks from that person? And how did you handle it. I'll go first. I can say in 25 years of being urinary incontinent I've only had 1 almost bad confrontation and like a dozen cases where someone legitimately asked why I was wearing a diaper (as if they don't know what a diaper is used for, lol). For the almost bad one: I was at a friend's house on a beach for some weekend drinking, and had not brought swimwear as I knew I had no interest in swimming. This beach, like most, is somewhat-ish secluded, but still public. And was about 1 mile from a popular public beach access. And sure enough we all ended up heading to the beach at one point. At first I declined to go, but everyone knew I was diapered already and didn't care if I went in just that. Even saying it would cover me more than a speedo, so it's not indecent either. So there I am, laying in the sun and minding my own business when some guy (ironically in a speedo) comes up to me while yelling about everything he could think of. Children, indecent, disgusting, the works. Important to note here, I had on a regular Abena (which has those racing stripes), nor was I wet at the time. Well, before any of us could even respond, a beach cop comes driving up. Long story short, the cop threatens this guy with a ticket for disturbing my peace and tells me that while unusual I'm still fine and to have a nice day. For the legitimate questioning: Each time I simply replied I needed them because of an auto accident. That's usually taken at face value, and usually I'm given a "sorry to hear that". Sometimes with follow up questions, but nothing bad or negative has ever come up from it. Also of note, long-ago I switched to wearing Crinklz, which has prints on it (for my own reasons). And yes there have been a few legitimate accidental waistband exposures, as well as purposeful ones in medical settings. Never once have I gotten anything close to a negative comment with them.

It's good to hear you've found a way to stave off the worst of the problems, for now at least. But I implore you to talk to your doctor about having a plan in place for what comes next. Trust me when I say putting off a problem, will not make it any better later on. And when retention problems get serious, they REALLY bad in a hurry.

Exactly. Because of the stigma associated with it they choose to further enforce that stigma. And if you think about it, normal cotton briefs are "absorbent garments". Though I doubt any incontinent person wants to be stuck in those for long. Hence the need to avoid word salads like this.

Well no, that's it's my point, it's not. Like in the example I gave, I asked for a diaper. The nurse "confirmed" I'd get one, but came back with something that was decidedly not a diaper. And by refusing ttlo call it a diaper doesn't help lessen the stigma, it actually enforces it.

I believe you are right, but if you think about they are actually doing the opposite. By try to not offend those like me and not use the word diaper, they are feeding into any shame or loathing some other incontinent person might still have.

Absorbent brief, pad, pullup, pampers, diaper. We've all heard them call one thing or another, but so seldom do we hear them called what they are. Diapers. (To be clear, I'm referring to a disposable adult brief which has tapes or tabs. Either cloth-like or plastic backed). Someone once said a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I say not if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death. To me, proper names actually are important. If you say you need pampers, then be ready to try and squeeze into a diaper that's 10 sizes too small. Pads, hope you don't plan on getting up anytime soon. Or pullups, hope you don't need something more absorbent. Like an actual diaper an adult might need. I've even been played by this bad wording too. In a hospital I reported I needed diapers. The nurse said ok, let me bring you some pads. And sure enough, what I got was not the diaper I needed. Nor would the actual pad I got be what I needed when going to my physical therapy. Look at it this way too. Most would recognize there is a generalized stigma among the public towards anyone other than a baby or senior needing diapers. Yet we here are proof that is completely false. By refusing to call them diapers, people only play into and perpetuate that stigma. My advice, don't let the stigma get to you. Do you ever feel embarrased by needing spectacles or glasses, braces or casts, or well you get the idea. And the next time (if ever) someone tries to give you a hard time over "diapers", just know that's all on them. And that person is to be pittied, not be embarrassed by.

Questions. Is your light dribbling constant? And are you well hydrated? And how would you compare them to depends fit right? With my constant dribbling I can make a depends pullup leak in about 1 to 2 hours. (For me, the only thing dependable with these is they will leak). Maybe ok for the gym or physical rehab, and about as absorbent as a disposable swim diaper, but not much else. And honestly, at first glance these don't appear to be that different (aside from being reusable).

Rubber will definitely give a better seal. Sadly, because of the convec shape to the small of the back, I've never found anything that is 100% smell or water proof. No matter how tight you try and make it. I also go a step further and recommend any type of diaper cover for even those who only deal with urinary incontinence. In either case, they will help you notice any leaks (pee or poop) before they become outwardly noticeable to others.

I full heartily wish you best of luck in getting it resolved then. But do make sure you are actively trying to get it resolved. If your path is anything like I went through, --and you end up pushing and straining to pee--, then it gets worse if left untreated. Much, much worse. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to about it. Or I'm an open book and we can discuss anything right here. That way, others may benefit from our less than pleasant experiences and make what we go through mean something.

Hi and welcome.

Oh, another factor to consider. A larger ISO rating means you will go through fewer diapers per day. Which lowers your overall cost. I have found a high ISO rated diaper actually costs me lesss than "cheaper" diapers- when looked at on a cost-per-day basis. Of course, saving money on medical supplies is a necessity. But it also needs to be balanced with maintaining good hygiene. It may sound counter intuitive, but staying well hydrated (with almost clear or lightly yellow pee) doesn't damage the skin or smell anywhere near as bad. So again, a higher ISO rating is going to be needed here too.

Total diaper absorbency is measured by an International Organization of Standards ISO (not IOS) rating. They take a diaper laid out flat and slowly add water until it leaks. Obviously that isn't a real-world test, but if you think about it it, this does eliminate factors like flooding versus a constant dribble, how well it fits a given person, their activity, and so on. Me personally, I've found most diapers have a usable rate closer to %50 of their ISO ratng. But whatever the actual percentage it does give everyone a good idea for comparison. Plus, I never invite disaster by trying to take them to their leak point anyways. So say a diaper has a 5000ml ISO, for me I'd never take it pass 2000ml. And yes, as an incontinent person I do want something that can last me a full work day (and then some for that margin of error). Which eliminates many logistical and personal issues I may otherwise encounter while at work. At 2+ liters per day, that works out to 1 daytime diaper and 1 nighttime diaper (that I keep on for a couple hours until I take my morning shower).

I didn't mention this before, but too have gotten only good remarks from medical professionals for choosing other than a plain white diaper, usually "cute" as well. I'm led to believe the fears of "what if", "fetish", "pedo" and the like are just that. An unfounded fear.

I can't second this enough. The whole point of a diaper is to not leak. If it does, then you need a better diaper. Sadly, "better" is NOT something you can find in any pharmacy or food store. In the US anyways. Online really is the only sure way to find what you need. And northshorecare IS one of them. Note: Yes you CAN get them online. Many stores sell pre-paid visa cards. Just add enough for you order and you can use it for online purchases. FedEx and UPS also allow for shipping to other than your address too. Just verify where first (often wallgreens, wallmart, other drop locations or even their nearest distribution center can hold a package for pickup).

Seconded, though not everyone will need this much, nor will all these tips work for everyone. Case in point, mastering putting on a diaper while standing so you won't need to carry around a changing mat big enough for an adult. Well, not everyone can do that either. I'd say the import thing for anyone to take away is to find what each individual needs and what helps them manage it all best.

I thought I'd add my own diagnosis here too. Though it's more like a fraught journey to getting one. Sorry, it's a long story. First off, I'm convinced that "OAB" is urologist code for "we recognize something is going on with your urine retention and/bladder, but we don't know what. So, let's throw pills at it and see if it makes you go away". Never settle for an OAB diagnosis, or more pills, it does nothing for you. So I started off with a major auto accident that put me into a wheelchair for 3 months and then a long leg cast for 3 more. I found I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, so my urologist said it was just my limited mobility. Official diagnosis: functional incontinence related to mobility. Nothing to worry about or look into, and that I should manage with diapers for the time being. About 6 month later my mobility slightly returned, yet I was still having problems making it in time. A new urologist, and I got a new diagnosis of OAB. And began trying a different pill every 3-6 months. I was also subjected to multiple urological diagnosis tests. Of note here: this test has you empty you bladder and measures output rate and volume. Then they put a catheter in you, and slowly fill our bladder. You call out when you feel it and again when full. Then they have you pee past the catheter as much as possible to measure pressure, rate and volume. Me though, i could never pee past the catheter so that always invalidated the test. All this occured during at least another 5-7 years. I moved, twice, so add another new urologist each time, but no actual changes. And had an insurance change too, so more of the same yet again. Eventually I was fed up with the non-support I was getting and switched urologists- yet again. This doctor actually talked to me to come up with a new diagnosis, but also made sure to include another diagnosis test- which i again failed for results. New diagnosis, Severe Urge incontinence. Followed up by even more pills every 3-6 months. Uuugh. Another point here, with all the pills. I found if I refused any more pills then every single urologist would get stuck on that one pill. Likely thinking it "would work" if only I gave it a real try. They'd be so hung up on that, they couldn't look past it and move on to something else. So, after many refusals I found it was faster and easier to just take them and prove they don't work, or worse ad bad side effects. Eventually, after 18 plus years I landed at the Mayo Clinic in Florida. Finally I had found a urologist who would listen to me once again. He deduced the reason why I failed the test was two parts. First the catheter used in the tests was too big for me. And second I was experiencing too much pain to just bear through it. So, one strong pain pill before hand, and a child's size 8fr catheter and I barely got through it. My internal bladder pressure was literally off their normal chart space. In fact, it registered 3-4x higher. New diagnosis, Sever Urge Incontince coupled with a Neurogenic Dyssynergia Sphincter (basically, my muscle wiring was crossed and instead of relaxing to pee my muscles was clamping down instead). Gee, go figure. But FINALLY, a proper diagnosis. From there we then determing my sphincter had to be bypassed, and my bladder couldn't be allowed to fill. That was the only way to alleviate both diagnosis, and that no pill would have ever helped me. He was concerned this would make me incontinent though, and hesitated. Up until I pointed out I had been incontinent, and needed diapers, for the previous 18 years. The surgery would though alleviate my inability pee, completely remove my painful urges, and greatly improve my quality of life. I was then scheduled for what would be the first of 15 surgeries to get me there. In the end it took me out 20 years to get the right diagnosis, AND to get me properly treated. So if you've read this far, my advice is DO NOT SETTLE, not for an OAB diagnosis, not for more pills, and definitely not another quack urologist who isn't even willing to spend the time and listen to you.

That's a great way of looking at it. Needing diapers does not end your social lifestyle, they help you to keep living your social lifestyle.

Ah, a few more tips then. -If you're using a good diaper, stay hydrated, aren't prone to rashes, and are not bowell incontinent, then you usually won't need anything more than a spare diaper for changing during the day. I keep a couple of spare diapers under my car seat just for this. (And yes, I take it in hand to the nearest restroom, as long ago I stopped being embarrassed by them and stopped caring what others think). -For a day trip or overnight, a plain old backpack or laptop bag works well as a diaper bag. And yes, there are situations where it will be searched (airport, theme parks, etc). See the next tip, otherwise trust me when I say they don't care. -Powder, wipes and rash creams show up as a liquid on an xray, so only ever carry travel sizes. Other must have items are at least two diapers, a change of pants, and two plain diaper pins (can be used to hold a popped tape in place, or for any other clothing mishap). Also, practice changing while standing up then skip hauling around a changing mat large enough for you.