Leaderboard

In a other thread about what type/color anyone chooses to wear, I'm only seeing positive reactions to others noticing us wearing a not-plain-white diaper (or even just a diaper in general). That got me wondering, regardless of our need for wearing a diaper, has anyone ever been confronted about wearing one and gotten any pushback or negative remarks from that person? And how did you handle it. I'll go first. I can say in 25 years of being urinary incontinent I've only had 1 almost bad confrontation and like a dozen cases where someone legitimately asked why I was wearing a diaper (as if they don't know what a diaper is used for, lol). For the almost bad one: I was at a friend's house on a beach for some weekend drinking, and had not brought swimwear as I knew I had no interest in swimming. This beach, like most, is somewhat-ish secluded, but still public. And was about 1 mile from a popular public beach access. And sure enough we all ended up heading to the beach at one point. At first I declined to go, but everyone knew I was diapered already and didn't care if I went in just that. Even saying it would cover me more than a speedo, so it's not indecent either. So there I am, laying in the sun and minding my own business when some guy (ironically in a speedo) comes up to me while yelling about everything he could think of. Children, indecent, disgusting, the works. Important to note here, I had on a regular Abena (which has those racing stripes), nor was I wet at the time. Well, before any of us could even respond, a beach cop comes driving up. Long story short, the cop threatens this guy with a ticket for disturbing my peace and tells me that while unusual I'm still fine and to have a nice day. For the legitimate questioning: Each time I simply replied I needed them because of an auto accident. That's usually taken at face value, and usually I'm given a "sorry to hear that". Sometimes with follow up questions, but nothing bad or negative has ever come up from it. Also of note, long-ago I switched to wearing Crinklz, which has prints on it (for my own reasons). And yes there have been a few legitimate accidental waistband exposures, as well as purposeful ones in medical settings. Never once have I gotten anything close to a negative comment with them.

Thank you, kindly. My bladder issues have somewhat fallen down the priority list, but I am indirectly actively working on them. Since a central nerve disorder is the culprit of the bladder spasms, I am taking medications that help improve proper nerve function. The main reason was to help alleviate the nerve pain that I feel all over different places, at different times. I have noticed some improvement with the spasms but there is still a reduced capacity and the thickening to the bladder wall. It took a lot of years to get to where i'm at so I can't really expect a full improvement overnight. I will not likely recover any capacity in my bladder, but i could reasonably expect improvement with pain (as I am told). The problem I (think) I have is my nerves in parts of my body will go from numb to overdrive. When I am numb I will either be wetting myself without really having any signal and being able control, or I will not be able to urinate at all without brute force. The latter is usually after being dehydrated and in the evening, when I'm in overdrive I will have painful forceful spurts and depending on how hydrated I am, can be a lot. Honestly I just try not despair about it anymore. That's why I appreciate folks that talk openly about it and have positive attitudes about it. If some folks are having fun with peeing themselves I shouldn't worry too much about it being a life altering "problem". I have gone through the shitty emotions and grieving over it and now I would rather just be happy. Putting on a diaper with a funny design and feeling silly for a while takes me away from it being this macabre symbol of faltering health and disabilities. IDK. That's just what i have gleaned from my journey so far I suppose.

Just wanted to give a shout-out to our friends at InControl Diapers for providing the start-up funding to open this forum. Please show them some love and check out their selection of premium incontinence management products!

Absorbent brief, pad, pullup, pampers, diaper. We've all heard them call one thing or another, but so seldom do we hear them called what they are. Diapers. (To be clear, I'm referring to a disposable adult brief which has tapes or tabs. Either cloth-like or plastic backed). Someone once said a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I say not if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death. To me, proper names actually are important. If you say you need pampers, then be ready to try and squeeze into a diaper that's 10 sizes too small. Pads, hope you don't plan on getting up anytime soon. Or pullups, hope you don't need something more absorbent. Like an actual diaper an adult might need. I've even been played by this bad wording too. In a hospital I reported I needed diapers. The nurse said ok, let me bring you some pads. And sure enough, what I got was not the diaper I needed. Nor would the actual pad I got be what I needed when going to my physical therapy. Look at it this way too. Most would recognize there is a generalized stigma among the public towards anyone other than a baby or senior needing diapers. Yet we here are proof that is completely false. By refusing to call them diapers, people only play into and perpetuate that stigma. My advice, don't let the stigma get to you. Do you ever feel embarrased by needing spectacles or glasses, braces or casts, or well you get the idea. And the next time (if ever) someone tries to give you a hard time over "diapers", just know that's all on them. And that person is to be pittied, not be embarrassed by.

Very understandable. It took me more practice to change while standing than it did laying down too. Remember my tip about memorizing where the tapes end up though? The next time you do do have a good fit, try to see where the tapes ended up at. You can use distance from edges, how far apart the tapes are from each other, the padding underneath as a mark point, or any other features like tape landing zone or even prints/lines. Also try to remember where the top back and top front of the diaper ended up in relation to your body. Then the next time you want to try changing while standing, completely forget about trying to get the right alignment or fit. All you need to do is put the diaper and the tapes in the exact same spot. And voiola, it's an instant diaper change (like cooking with just add water). Easier said than done, I know, but once mastered it makes changing much easier, and incredibly fast too. As example, I typically change in under a minute- from taking old one off to new one completely on (not including time for wipes cream or powder). It's also part of why I prefer Crinklz, my lower tapes go 1/2 inch from the bottom edge and are placed fully before the green wavy line. My top tapes go 1 inch below the top edge, and full over the green wavy line. Believe it or not, I can even pre-place the bottom tapes then step into them like a pullup and finish taping the top. A necessity I found when trying to change in a porta potty once. No laying down needed, and definitely no leaning on a wall to hold it in place before taping.

I tried to do a diaper change standing up but I can never get the tapes on right. I prefer diaper changes on the floor or on a changing table or bed. It's much easier and I get a good diaper fit.

It's good to hear you've found a way to stave off the worst of the problems, for now at least. But I implore you to talk to your doctor about having a plan in place for what comes next. Trust me when I say putting off a problem, will not make it any better later on. And when retention problems get serious, they REALLY bad in a hurry.

Exactly. Because of the stigma associated with it they choose to further enforce that stigma. And if you think about it, normal cotton briefs are "absorbent garments". Though I doubt any incontinent person wants to be stuck in those for long. Hence the need to avoid word salads like this.

But technically, it's still a diaper no matter what you call it. It's still a diaper no matter how you call it because it's always gona be a diaper regardless if it's on an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly person. Calling a diaper a brief is trying to lessen the stigma of being in a diaper but in reality, it's still a diaper and no amount of word salad is gona change reality.

I would definitely recommend their stuff. comfortable and works well for me. The Incontrol Active Air is the only cloth backed diaper I have used that doesn't sag or get loose.

For me a comfortable number for a daytime diaper is 3500-5000ml. This is a Betterdry or Megamax. For nightime use those Super Diapers like the Incontrol or others that claim 7500 and above work well for me. I can wear one diaper without need of booster pad and can last all night on most occasions. And yes, I do use far fewer diapers than i have in the past wearing Abena, or Molicares. I generally only need to change 2x a day and once at night. compared to 5-6 times with the lesser capacity diapers. I could have stretched the use but I value feeling dry, and keeping rashes from forming. The high absorbent diapers are the only ones that seems to fit into my regime in that regard.

In my experience, I have had nurses and doctors made good comments to me about my diapers and how cute they look on me. They often ask me where I get them and I even leave copies of stuff from Northshore to show other patients that their are far better diapers than store brand ones. All the medical staff that take care of me know I wear diapers and prefer diapers over pull ups.

Oh, another factor to consider. A larger ISO rating means you will go through fewer diapers per day. Which lowers your overall cost. I have found a high ISO rated diaper actually costs me lesss than "cheaper" diapers- when looked at on a cost-per-day basis. Of course, saving money on medical supplies is a necessity. But it also needs to be balanced with maintaining good hygiene. It may sound counter intuitive, but staying well hydrated (with almost clear or lightly yellow pee) doesn't damage the skin or smell anywhere near as bad. So again, a higher ISO rating is going to be needed here too.

Total diaper absorbency is measured by an International Organization of Standards ISO (not IOS) rating. They take a diaper laid out flat and slowly add water until it leaks. Obviously that isn't a real-world test, but if you think about it it, this does eliminate factors like flooding versus a constant dribble, how well it fits a given person, their activity, and so on. Me personally, I've found most diapers have a usable rate closer to %50 of their ISO ratng. But whatever the actual percentage it does give everyone a good idea for comparison. Plus, I never invite disaster by trying to take them to their leak point anyways. So say a diaper has a 5000ml ISO, for me I'd never take it pass 2000ml. And yes, as an incontinent person I do want something that can last me a full work day (and then some for that margin of error). Which eliminates many logistical and personal issues I may otherwise encounter while at work. At 2+ liters per day, that works out to 1 daytime diaper and 1 nighttime diaper (that I keep on for a couple hours until I take my morning shower).

The Incontrol Elilte Hybrid is arguably the best quality diaper on the market😀. It definitely is worth trying out. --John

Seconded, though not everyone will need this much, nor will all these tips work for everyone. Case in point, mastering putting on a diaper while standing so you won't need to carry around a changing mat big enough for an adult. Well, not everyone can do that either. I'd say the import thing for anyone to take away is to find what each individual needs and what helps them manage it all best.