was told off for going in my diaper

[emily1890]

was with someone and I had to go to the toilet and she thought it was absolutely disgusting

told me that if I didn't use the toilet like everyone else then I am the smelliest dirtiest person alive

 

I'm glad she didn't actually see  what was in the diaper, she'd have had a fit

 

anyone else had an experience like this?

 

like an extreme reaction to your condition

[Scarth]

Wow sounds like a very small minded person and an out of proportion reaction to a medical issue. does she say the same to people in wheelchairs cause everyone else walks ?   

[Iken]

Wow, that was insensitive and very small-minded. I wonder if she said that to her elderly folks who have to wear diapers

[John Davis]

Sorry you had to suffer through that.

--John

[Brian]

On 10/2/2023 at 8:57 AM, emily1890 said:

was with someone and I had to go to the toilet and she thought it was absolutely disgusting

told me that if I didn't use the toilet like everyone else then I am the smelliest dirtiest person alive

 

I'm glad she didn't actually see  what was in the diaper, she'd have had a fit

 

anyone else had an experience like this?

@emily1890

I agree with my colleagues! Unfortunately, there are people in this world who think that way, and they are the ones that need a reality check! It's bad enough when you have to use the bathroom, it's bad enough when you are incontinent and you can't hold it, and it's even worse when you have to release and you have somebody that thinks because you can't use the bathroom like everyone else, that there is a problem with you! Anybody who thinks that being able to use a bathroom like everyone else is a problem needs a reality check real fast! There's nothing wrong with you emily, nothing wrong with you at all! The problem is it's people that have this type of attitude: very few people in this world when they're born have any control that I know of, and if you're lucky you'll have control of your body functions from the time your party trained until the time you are well into your 80s maybe your 90s, depending on your situation.

Anyone who would think you are the dirtiest smelliest thing alive needs to recheck their own self! Every one of us from the time war born until the time were adult has gone through times like this where we get sick or we have no control over our bladder or our bowels and we make a mistake and we wet or mess ourselves on the floor, or maybe have accident on the seat or anything else when you're sitting down, and sometimes that happens. No one has full continents at all times and no one is expected never to have an accident! Anyone who thinks that because you can't use a bathroom like everyone else that you are the smelly as dirtiest thing alive needs to be slapped repeatedly at high velocity! I'm not a guy that's violent, but I can't stand it when somebody tries to make something worse than it actually is or makes something of something like this, because it's not your fault emily, it's not your fault at all! That you should get right out of your head right now: anyone else who thinks that way needs to have a reality check real fast as I said!

There are many times when I have to bite my tongue, but in this case if I had been standing near that I probably would have taken one look at your friend, and then tell her or him that he or she should have more compassion and more empathy for the condition that your friend is dealing with, because it's not funny and it's not something that she can control, and not only that but when you have a friend, you try to understand your friend not try to put them down not try to make fun of them or make light of something like that, because it's embarrassing enough to have accidents, it's embarrassing enough that you have to admit that your incontinent, and it's equally embarrassing to have to figure out how to deal with it by using whatever solution that you use to deal with it. If you choose to wear diapers, then that's your choice, and regardless of how many friends I will have, if someone did that to me, they would end up getting one heck of a stare for me, because the ones that I tell about my incontinence are ones that I trust, not ones that I would think that would take that and make a huge deal out of it or make you feel lower than the lowest thing on Earth! Everybody has to use the bathroom my dear, everybody does! Whoever the heck is telling you all of this needs to be put in your position in the roles reversed, then he or she Would understand what it's like to have a mess in their pants and I'm having to deal with the extreme embarrassment that comes along with it. I've had friends for many years that are incontinent, and I've dealt with people that are incontinent, and the first thing that you wanna do is be supportive helpful and understanding, even if the person is dealing with a lot on their minds, even if it does smell a little bad, even if it does take a little bit longer to clean up, that's what you do, because if you're a good friend you overlook it and you know the person has no control or you have dealt with it in the past and it's not a big deal.

I've lived here for 28 going on 29 years next year. For those 29 years I've lived next door to an awesome guy who is in a wheelchair who is Black. I don't look on his race any different than I would look on anyone else, because he's my friend regardless of what color his skin is, and anyone who would pick on him because of his skin color or make light of that and make a big deal out of it I would probably roast right in front of the person so they would feel like they were a pile of pee in the middle of a sponge! The same thing can be said of anyone who would make fun of you because you have to use the bathroom. My friend also has called me in the middle of the night i'd say about between 12 and 3 in the morning, asking me to help him clean up a mess. I will go over there and I will help him do it, it might be a little bit disgusting and it might be a little bit time consuming, but if I can help him, and I have the necessary equipment and the time, I will go right over there and I won't even bat an eyelash, even if he made a mess all over the floor, that's the least of the worry, because you can always clean up a mess on the floor, you can always clean up a mess anywhere, but the emotional trauma from this type of a response is real it's terrible and it hurts really bad! I'm very sorry to hear that there is someone who you were with that was that insensitive so they didn't even give $0.02 about your feelings and your emotional well being! If you are two years old, and you are a baby still, you would have an accident or you would have used your diaper, and someone would have changed it, and they wouldn't even have blinked an eyelash, because that's what babies do they use their diapers. You are an adult, and as an adult even if you are incontinent you are accorded the same rights responsibilities feelings and you should be treated with respect by everyone, and if they disrespect you, then they if they're your friends aren't very good friends are they? I'm not sure exactly what your companion that day was thinking in his or her head but this is the worst kind of thing you can do to a friend! Do you have a friendship that is built on trust love companionship and the ability to tell them anything, and when you have a friend that's that strong, or a friendship that lasts the years, you learn to deal with many things you learn to accept many issues and you learn how to deal with idiots who put your friendship at risk! If this gentleman or lady was with you and did this to you I would seriously consider giving them the what for! One of these days that friend so curled will end up being in the same situation you are my friend and you will have the luxury of being able to tell them that you told them so once they get old enough to need diapers. The Bigger person is in this situation is the one who accepts you as a friend regardless of what happens! I don't care whether you ended up getting sick, I don't care if you didn't feel well, I didn't care if you had a bad day and you needed help, friend is there to do it for you and do it when you can't! A friend is always there regardless of what happens, and friendships always form overtime when you learn to trust people's instincts you learn to trust the person and you know that person very well.

It is my hope that this individual learns a valuable lesson! And that lesson is do not pick on someone else who is incontinent or has no control over their ladder or bowels, because some day some day this individual will learn the lesson that you know you learned yourself, about being incontinent and how inconvenient it can be, how embarrassing it can be, and in this case I wouldn't blame you if you felt like the lowest thing on the planet, because of the person who was treating you this way. If I was there that day I would give you one hell of a hug and I would keep on hugging you until you felt better. When you have someone that is with you rip you down as far as that and you feel that bad, something needs to change, and I would definitely consider if this is a friend of yours not to be a friend with that person for a long time unless and until that person gives you a heartfelt apology from the bottom of their heart, and promises that they will never ever ever do that again! Doing what this person did is the lowest possible thing that a person can do, it's bad enough that you have to deal with what you deal with, but to have your emotional stability rocked to your core so you feel the way that you're seeing that you felt that day is unacceptable and is just about as bad as a two year old having a temperate tantrum over a cookie! Or having someone tell you know when you go flying off the handle! Sometimes you can't have what you want when you want it, sometimes things don't happen the way you want it to happen, and you have to deal with it, and I'm sure you understand that very well! People who treat others with this much insensitivity need a kick in the booty, And may that person never be in the position you were, when you had to go to the bathroom and you had to use your diaper, and if they had to do the same thing, I wouldn't be the one laughing at them, because I am more of a man not to do that. My momma taught me to treat ladies with respect, and that's exactly the way you would be treated! I hope your friend never has to be in that position, because then somebody like you could then turn the tables on them, even though that may not be the most appropriate response, sometimes you feel like just slapping them and saying You idiot ha ha ha and just laughing your head off, but obviously what happened to you is no laughing matter: the thing is people that act like that and make a big deal of you wearing and messing a diaper or peeing a diaper, well they haven't had to deal with what we deal with! Having to go to the bathroom, having to get up, having to run as hard as you can to try to get there, and then sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't, and sometimes you don't even have enough control to be able to get up out of the chair to be able to walk across the room! That's happened to me a few times.

I send you a lot of hugs, and a lot of empathy and understanding! People who do that really burn my candle at both ends of the wick! If they have time to pick on you and make such a big deal out of what's going on, then they have the time to think twice about what they're going to do the next time, and God forbid your friend end up being in your position Someday, because you understand it, maybe that person does not, but there's one thing I will not do And that is to pick on anyone who is incontinent or unable to make it to the bathroom, that's just awful terrible and unacceptable!

Brian