John Davis

I resent all the time lost for diaper changes. However, that beats the time required to have to go home to change wet trousers. As I also am bowel incontinent, think how bad that would be without a quality diaper - yuk!💩😱 I I hate the incontinence but appreciate the diapers. --John

I am a heavy wetter and pee in my diaper in public frequently, but rarely have a leak. I wear a premium diaper with a booster pad, a thin cloth pullup, and a diaper cover. I know my capacity and time my changes. I have not had a leak onto my outer clothing in about three years.🙂 --John

David, where do you buy your diapers in France? --John

I should note that the above topic came to me because, as I played bridge yesterday, I suddenly realized I was peeing my diaper. Not feelilng that I needed to pee or that I was about to pee, but going right then, with no warning.☹️ I was not able to excuse me from the table and just prayed that no one could hear me pee. --John

Do you worry that someone will hear your diapers? Perhaps the rustling or crinkling sounds many diapers make? And, it is not just the diapers themselves, our plastic pants generate their own sounds. My wife could hear a my pair of urethane pants from across the room.😱 Admittedly, with some hearing loss, I am unlikely to pick up on those sounds, but others might. I think many women have better hearing than most men. Of course, my clothing does function as a "silencer." Over my diaper I wear a thin cotton pullup for absorbency but it also acts as a silencer. My onesie over diaper and plastic pants acts as another layer, and, of course, my jeans. Nonetheless, sometimes I can hear a faint sound and worry that the sound may sound louder to others. In most active areas, the sound levels help to mask any sounds from our diapers. Fortunately, most non-incontinents who hear our diaper-related sounds are not likely to recognize them for what they are🙂. What do you guys and gals think? --John

Bienvenue, David. Congratulations on coping very well with your incontinence. We look forward to hearing more from you. Your English is excellent. --John

At night, I definitely would go for one of those baby diapers scaled up to adult size. I am very wet at night and could actually use the extra absorbency. --John

Aggree re the scaling. Also, an article I read a couple of years ago extrapolated the size and padding of a baby diaper to adult size and determined that it would be so overly large that adults would refuse to wear it (even though it would perform its function very well). --John

Zombie, one community (I forget where) last year classified used diapers as biowaste and required highly visible biowaste containers. As it was a city health regulation, those involved had no choice and were "outed" for all to see.😱 --John

I forgot to mention that many inexpensive (read "cheap") diapers have no internal standing leak guards at all and depend on just the leg gathers. I avoid these like the plague. However, they may play a useful role as they are very inexpensive. --John

Good point, Zombie. The awkwardness can work two ways. Those not accustomed to being around incontinent people often do not know how to handle the subject. They may feel embarrassed because they think we should feel embarrassed (although that may be incorrect). --John

As the old saying goes: "If you wear cloth, you never run out of diapers." Of course, you also create very little trash. --John

Some communities have authorized an extra bin for those with incontinence. The down side is that you must disclose your medical status in what in some instances is part of the public record. You may have to push for that special consideration. --John

I just conducted some brief Google searches on the topic and located a few published medical studies that found a link between anxiety or depression and incontinence. Anxiety or depression are listed as "risk factors" with a fairly high degree of causality. It is good to know that it is more than just speculation on my part. In my case, very strong anxiety contributes to, or causes, bowel accidents. Medical studies said that this is related to the body's "flight or fight" reaction to threats. Under threats our bodies make more adrenaline and other physiological changes occur that contribute to both urinary and fecal incontinence. --John

What about stress and incontinence? Although we all react differently to stress, there does appear to be a link. Whan I have a period of severe stress, my incontinence definitely is worse.☹️ Stress affects not only my urinary incontinence but also my fecal incontince.😱 During a bad period of stress, all I need is to have more bladder or bowel accidents, but they often do happen. I have had this happen enough in my life that I have established a firm link between the two - at least for me. Then, the reverse occurs. Bladder accidents, and particularly bowel accidents, spin me up emotionally and my stress levels soar even higher. That, of course, tends to stimulate more accidents. So, I think there is a linkage between stress and incontinence where each influences the other. Mind you, I am not aware of medical studies on this, although they probably exist. As I said, we all react differently and it may not be the same for you. How do you handle stress and incontinence? Does it affect only your bladder incontinence or also bowel incontinence? --John

Very few people know of my incontinence. Those are close family, medical practitioners, and a very few others whom I trust. It is not so much that I am "hiding" the fact as that I do not advertise it. If you met me, there is no reason why you would suspect that I am wearing diapers.🙂 I wear highly absorbent premium diapers with a booster pad, a thin cotton pullup, and plastic pants, but my jeans and trousers have been selected to conceal the diaper very effectively. My biggest giveaway would not be my person, but the delivery of large boxes and a lot of trash I generate. --John

I am very thankful for my diapers. But, it takes a lot of my time to plan, order, and inventory all my incontinence-related supplies. A con is all the heavy diaper trash that needs to be disposed. --John

Yes, for both pee and poop. For urine the internal standing leak guards help keep the fluid over the mat until it has time to be absorbed. --John

Most of us who are fecal incontinent recognize that internal standing leak guards can play a significant role in preventing fecal leaks. But, what should we look for? I don't know of any formal studies on the subject. How high do you think the internal standing leak guards need to be in order to be effective at preventing stool from coming in contact wth the leg gathers? IMO, leakguards that are 1 ½" tall are very effective while 2" is ideal. Anything is better than nothing, but the ¾" tall leak guards found on many inexpensive diapers are only marginally effective and I frequently have found stool overflowing those leak guards.😱 What do you say? --John

That is one reason why I use the MegaMax Air diapers. They have the highest absorbency of any breathable diaper I have found so far. The waistbands stretch, but not terribly. I wear a PUL diaper cover and a onesie. The onesie supports the diaper. We agree on that. Initially it felt uncomfortable to me. --John

I mix in more breathable diapers along with my usual plastic-backed ones. Breathable diaper covers (PUL) are cooler than vinyl or rubber. Sometimes I wear a onesie Polo shirt instead of a short-sleeved shirt over a onesie. As Scarth has mentioned, hydration is important. --John

Slomo, good points. Although I use a booster and you don't, we are in agreement re the important points. I always examine the cost of a booster pad versus the difference in price to get a better diaper. Actually, I try to see whether using a booster pad in two or more diapers will save me from having to use an extra diaper. Usually large booster pads are unnecessary. The "sweet spot" often is the medium or small size. Large boosters have the same problem as the diapers themselves - much of the rear of the pad is still dry when you change the diaper. --John

Will your booster pads explode? Well, not exactly “explode.” One manufacturer brags about the ultra-high absorbent capacity of its booster pads, although they do not list the actual capacity. Then they caution users against flooding these very booster pads. Users report that some booster pads can split or burst, spreading saturated SAP gel crystals “everywhere."😱 Reportedly they swell up without leaking a drop until they suddenly “explode.” Several brands of booster pads share this tendency to over-absorb and then split or burst. These boosters usually are those that, in advertising, stress their ultra-high absorbency. The problem seems to be that the manufacturer did not provide casings large enough to contain the SAP gel crystals when at maximum absorbency. Although one can plan to change their diaper before these booster pads are maximally soaked, that seems to defeat their very purpose. I hate having to clean up SAP gel crystals and am sure you will share my sentiments. Fortunately, most booster pads available from mainstream manufacturers and medical supply houses do not share this fault and will provide reliable and trouble-free service. --John

I always buy my diapers online. Quality diapers just are not available in drugstores. Also, my local drugstores stock only pullups - not tabbed diapers. I should note that I normally purchase diapers by the case for extra savings - an option not available at a local retail store. --John

Zombie, I like your ideas for designs. --John