Slomo

I use a pretty standard hypo allergenic mattress cover, which is also waterproof. It's polyurethane laminate, and breathable. You can get one at wallmart or most any mattress store for around $40-50, and typically lasts me about 7-9 years.

No. The meds would have never worked on me because at 30-40 years old I didn't have an enlarged prostrate. I was only on them because of inept urologists who didn't want to figure out my underlying issue. Instead they just put me one pill after another to "see if it helps". My problem was neurological, likely from an L5-S1 spinal injury. When I finally convinced my urologist to just remove my malfunctioning muscle, it took a half-dozen sphincterotomy surgeries to do so. Except the repeat surgeries caused a large stricture part way in my prostrate. So I had a prostrate blockage, just not from an enlarged prostrate. So of course it had to be removed too (along with part of my urethra). On the plus side, I won't have to worry about prostrate cancer or bph in a other 15-20 years.

I generally don't mention my bowell issues to others either. Though I have always been up front about it with my doctor- when it was relavent to do so.

You have to realize that study centered around older people who were not very mobile and were forced to use crappy medical grade diapers, or even just bed pads. They were completely new to this problem too, and hadn't figured out what works or not either. If I suddenltly had to live under those conditions I'd probably prefer death too. And I do suffer from IBS-D. Combined with some previously removed hemorrhoids and a bleeding anal fissure, I can barely tell the difference from gas and liquid. I've mostly learned how to cope with it and stay on a regular bowel schedule though, so accidents are rare. But they do happen. Yet with using good diapers and a good diaper cover it's not that big of a deal any more.

Not exactly, though I was on Flowmax and calis before (for the usual "see if it works", that didn't) . And I did have a blockage in my prostrate. Had a turp that wasn't enough to open it, so they completely took out my prostrate.

I stay very well hydrated (2+ liters per day). I also use a premium diaper rated at 5000ml, and a good diaper cover. I can go up to 16 hours in this same diaper before it smells enough for others to notice, or threatens to leak on me. Though I always change before that, I had tested it to the max before. 24 hours, a slight leak, strong enough smell, and a developing rash. Not something I'd recommend for normal, but always good as a test to know how far it will go before failure.

For day to day, I don't carry a diaper or disaster bag with me. That's only because I can trust the diaper I use (Crinklz), combined with my usual diaper cover (Gary activewear PUL). I normally don't need them, but do keep 2 extra diapers in my car. On the rare chance I need to change, I just take it in hand to the nearest restroom and change. In 10+ years of doing this, I've only noticed a few people stare of do a double take. No gawking, snickers, whatever. I do have an overnight bag though. It is a normal backpack. I keep 2 diapers in it, along with a pair of black pants, and the other usual diaper supplies.

That's an understatement. AUG168, you're in good company here.

I found out early on that wearing my usual diaper for working out or physical rehab kind of works against me. It's thick enough to be extremely noticeable under gym clothes, crinkles too much, and caused chafing. Plus, I'd always want to change out of it afterwards due to sweat and sagging, even if it was hardly used. For a while I used depends real fit, but even they would leak on me at times. So now I've been using tranquality atn cloth backed disposables. They are quiet and thin enough, and keep me protected quite well while working out. But they do have problems with stretching loose, clumping, and generally feeling horrible from even just a little bit of sweat. Ok for an hour or so, but I'm more than happy to change out of them afterwards.

15 surgeries was just for my urinary problem. I've had over 2 dozen when including my legs, knees, and nasal problems. But yeah, wow is right. But I can at least say I'm stable, and can still walk short distances.

Yes, insurance companies do require proof of medical need. Though that need can be physical, neurological, or even just mental. So long as it's verified by a doctor, physicial, or psychologist.

I believe it's part of our human nature to want to fit in. I fell for it too, and also had to deal with that denial and self-shame when I first became incontinent. Because that's what society says we should feel like. It takes realizing society is generalaly wrong about diaper shaming, as well as finding others who can agree with us on that. Like right here.

Does anybody else remember the old Attends 10 with waistbands? Those were the best for fit and conforming. You could readjust those tapes a half-dozen times if needed, and there was no landing zone, just a strong enough shell. And they had 3 tapes per side so the fit was always incredible, and they never sagged. The fact modern diapers lack those features is what I hate. If we had that combined with modern absorbency and leak guards they would be unbeatable.

Who loves dealing with insurance companies? And have you ever wondered if they will cover the cost of your diapers? "Most" insurances will automatically deny coverage when first asked. Often stating they are not considered Durable Medical Equipment (DME), since they are not reusable. Except they actually do cover adult diapers, so that means they will provide them to you. And to get them to, you will need to file for an appeal. We'll, most usually do. Some people are just lucky to get them approved on the first try. In every case I've seen, you first need to go to your doctor, then get a prescription for those diapers. If possible try and get the prescription to say exactly what diapers you want. Though this part will take a little research first. And the easiest way I've seen to do that is to call your insurance provider, and ask for a list of the adult diapers they cover. If they don't have a list, ask to be directed to their supplier for adult diapers. This is going to be a different number for a warehouse distribution facility. Ask them what brands of diapers they carry, and write them all down. Either way, with list in hand go look up the different kinds they have until you find the best one. Now take that brand to your doctor for getting that prescription. Of note here: Most insurances will only allow the cheapest and crappiest diapers out there. So expect the "best" might only be something like Tranquality ATN, or Seni (both of which are cloth backed disposables, and are barely functional as a diaper). Alternatively, a very few companies will secretly allow for a "drop shipment". Meaning they will approve of other non-covered diapers, shipped by someone else (such as LL medical or North Shore Care), as long as that order doesn't exceed a certain price. As example, you can do this with the VA west of the Mississippi, but not VA east. You just need the prescription to say what diaper that is. And don't forget it includes the size too! Whew, ok. From here your doctor's office should submit the claim on your behalf. If not, get a written script and take it to your insurance carrier in person. Give it two days if your doctor submits it, then proactively call your insurance company. Or ask to talk to someone if delivering it in person. Now, ask them to verify your claim and if they can send you the diapers you wanted (that were named on your script). Many will still try and switch it to a cheaper brand, so this step is necessary to prevent that. And there you go. Just sit back and wait for those cheap but free diapers to show up at your house. But also be aware, that shipment is usually not discrete. And now you know why most everyone just buys better diapers on their own- unless cost is a serious concern. Which brings me to a Health Savings Account (HSA), or a Flexible Savings Account (FSA). You ask your employer to set this up for you, and they take out a certain amount of money from your paycheck- before taxes. They deposit this money into that account, which you can spend on government pre-approved items (there an online list). And yes the government includes adult diapers as an approved, tax free purchase with any HSA/FSA debit card. Note: there is no government requirement for disclosing why you may need diapers. You can get them regardless of that. However, be prepared as you may still need to disclose what you are purchasing to your employer or HSA/FSA banking holder. After that you can make an online or in-store purchase with that debit card. Make sure you save all receipts too, as the banking card holder or IRS may ask for proof of all purchases on that card. And now you know why most everyone just buys diapers on their own.

Ah, that may be contributing to your leaking too. Boosters are fine, but you have to make sure they aren't too thick or wide. Because of the leak barriers. They need to rest on you skin, otherwise any wetness can run right past them before it has a chance to be absorbed.

Yeah, oops, thanks. I did forget to mention powder! Though talc powder is near impossible to get in the US now, corn starch works just as good. The best time to apply powder is when you're changing but don't have time to air out first. It draws the moisture out of your skin, allowing you some time after diapering up as if you had aired out. Though I've found it's best to not use a whole lot all at once, or it will cake up into a wet mess that sticks to your skin. Which seems to negate any benefits you may have had at first.

And women or children don't include men either.

Thanks John Davis. And agreed, the only way to get a good handle on rashes is decades of trial and error. Or hopefully from someone else who's been through it. That's what I'm about on here. Trying to make my decades of hardship mean something- by helping others through (or avoid) it too.

The irony of that is not lost on me.

Ah, got it. Thanks.

Well I almost can't argue that logic. Until you start looking at the actual definition of "panty" or "panties". From the professionals: Merriam Webster says "a woman's or child's undergarment covering the lower trunk and made with closed crotch". Dictionary.com says "underpants or undershorts for women and children". And Oxford says "a piece of women’s underwear that covers the body from the middle part to the tops of the legs". They are all fairly well in agreement, and do not agree with your own personal understanding of the term. And that difference is decidedly not the fly. That's why it's so important to know and apply the correct terminology. Exactly as I was trying to point out in the other thread. Not to define yourself or make yourself try and fit a label, but so everyone else knows what you're talking about. So when you say you're wearing panties, is say good for you in your crossdressing. It's not for me though, so I'll stick with my adult sized diapers and diaper cover. Side note. This reminds me of a relavent saying. Communication in a marriage is not the key to happiness. You can communicate with each other all day long, but if the two of you don't full comprehend what the other is saying then you'll just end up red in the face. Nope, understanding is the key to happiness in a marriage.

Oh I understand that. I was just wondering how well they compare to something like depends pullups. I used to use their real fit when all I need is an hour or two of protection, and when a thinner garment would make more sense (such as my rare appearance at a gym or rehab clinic). Tranquility's cloth ATN has filled that bill for me as of late. Except, I would also like something that's reusable and also less likely to leak like a pullup does.

Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom. First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year. Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen. Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom. Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage. My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose. Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly. And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help. If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long. Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago. Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.

Right on point there. I believe parents do this because little kids are usually in a hurry to be big. So using that drive parents tell their kids diapers are only for babies and only big kids are potty trained. Partly because society expects parents to potty train their kids, and most schools require it. Also in part because let's face it, parents get tired of changing diapers AND they are seen as a cost that can be completely cut out at some point. I certainly can't blame them for either part, even though their method for getting there is what perpetuates that stigma.

Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing. Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough. So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be. When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either. In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup. Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.