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Confused and sexuality


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Hi all not sure if this is allowed here I hope people don't paint me as a freak, pervert, etc or I get banned as I am genuinely Incontinence (the Urologist thinks due to Retention and overflow since my spinal cord injury I can prove to owner snippets of Neurosurgeon, Podiatry, Urology reports privately if needed without too much personal identity).

I don't think I am a DL or ABDL as if I hadn't had the spinal injury or bladder issues I would never have worn or new about those sexual areas existed only when Googling for incontinence issues (and how to cope as was suicidal at the start to the point due to needing Nappies/Diapers my Treating Psychiatrist wanted me hospitalized due to Bipolar Depression but no Hospital will admit anyone with ASD/ADHD for mental health at start of my issues in 2009).

Would I still wear if I was magically cured yes!!!(unfortunately) as I have had no treatment until now as I refused to self catherise recommended by a different hospital due to physical Disabilities as well as Autism would make it difficult according to my current private continence nurse as well as I find them comfortable as well as I have bowel Issues (mainly bleeding which Previous GPs all refused referrals to relevant specialist until now I was supposed to have a Colonoscopy in April but everyone agreed to wait til Indwelling Cath is out as the prep would be too difficult for me to clean up accidents as well as need cleanness with the cath)



I sent the following to my relationship counsellor
I am not sure how to explain this.......... as it is awkward......... and sexual... was going to originally email you with my fake email account due to embarrassment.... not sure if it would help with my report.

I think I may either mentally increase sexual drive or hypersexuality (my bipolar and ADHD seem stable in all other ways if it is related) as thinking about it a lot more lately but can't do anything due to an indwelling catheter until at least 22 May since 27 March as I don't know how to do it safely and it is advised against on medical websites as could cause internal damage, I will talk to my Urologist on the 22 May at my next appointment.

Here is the latest I posted annon on social media sexuality FB Page looking for advice for example... When I tend to get hyped up I tend to post this kind of questions annon on FB as well as Incontinence forums as well as diaper fetish sites (which were the only information supports I found on Google as no incontinence websites you are the only person I have told this due to embarrassment but until recently I have had no professional support or continence nurse and urology departments refused treatment (until recently) for support and no support groups in Australia) just for information on how to handle incontinence mentally as products which my continence nurse didn't even know the products existed eg Nappies I wear etc)

Well a bit embarrassed and awkward (hopefully not too much TMI)
I am a 38-year-old male who has Physical disabilities (sometimes wheelchair bound) which incl incontinence (tapped nappies and sometimes Indwelling catheter), spinal and feet, and hand tremors as well as ASD, Bipolar, ADHD, and Anxiety disorders.
Well, I only know how to masturbate with my hand on my shaft as haven't learnt how to any way other in a safe environment.
The Sex Counsellor I saw a couple of times for a report for NDIA requested
12 hours (1 hour a month with a Disability Sex Worker)
17 hours with the sexual and relationship counsellor
I am wondering how in Sydney would I physically explore toys (perhaps a trial with a Sex worker in a safe environment), as well as know what size I am for protection as I get hypersexual and quite bored with my hand.
Sorry if the post is inappropriate, not sure where else to ask

As well as I posted in the same FB Group thread

Another question would it be inappropriate to ask the Urology Dept to ask what size condom I would be when they remove the Indwelling catheter?
(as they would be looking down there to take the catheter out)


Am I open of playing with myself in Nappy/Diaper yes I am also looking to explore more ways as I have never Sexually experimented as well as have a private look at ABDL/DL Unfortunately yes as my medical conditions depress me as my mobility and continence conditions are getting worse to the point my mobility condition requires a manual wheelchair more and more and my OT is apply for a portable mobility scooter as the wheelchair by previous OT was inappropriate for me and my support workers but I lived in a 2nd lvl unit with no mobility access and the government at the time gave me a budget of $1500.

AGAIN I HOPE THIS WASN'T INAPPROPRIATE OR MAKE ME OUT TO BE A FREAK BUT LOOKING FOR SUPPORT AS I GENUINELY HAVE CONTINENCE AND PHYSICAL DISABILITIES AND LOVE THE RESOURCES HERE WHICH I WOULD NEVER HAVE NEEDED TO GOOGLE SEARCH IN THE 1ST PLACE WITHOUT CONTINENCE ISSUES

 

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Mobility and incontinence issues aside, diapers do cover our genetalia. So is it really any wonder they can be incorporated into one's own sexuality? Of course not. After all, they do tend to end up warm, wet, and squishy while also rubbing up against ourselves a times. 

I've said this before and it's worth repeating. When life gives you lemons you learn to like lemonade or otherwise go crazy hating them. And when life puts you back into diapers, you likewise need to learn liking diapers or otherwise go crazy hating them too.

And without getting into too much detail. I personally find it quite pleasurable to add some petroleum jelly to the inside front of a wet diaper. Then lay down on top of a pillow of favorite stuffed animal, and well... have some hands free fun. This method works especially well for me as I had my prostrate removed at age 42, and ever since then I haven't been able to get hard enough for sex with my wife. But neither my feeling down there or inate sex drive have been reduced, so being able to reach a climaxe is otherwise more difficult. Relying on diapers this way is more than a coping mechanism too, by being able to keep the diaper on while mastrubating I also don't have to worry about leaking pee all over. It also helps establish a "diapers are good" attitude, and well like I said, it's fun and feels great too.

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1 hour ago, Slomo said:

 

And without getting into too much detail. I personally find it quite pleasurable to add some petroleum jelly to the inside front of a wet diaper. Then lay down on top of a pillow of favorite stuffed animal, and well... have some hands free fun. This method works especially well for me as I had my prostrate removed at age 42, and ever since then I haven't been able to get hard enough for sex with my wife. But neither my feeling down there or inate sex drive have been reduced, so being able to reach a climaxe is otherwise more difficult. Relying on diapers this way is more than a coping

Thank you

I feel a bit better now knowing I'm not the only one or a freak.

Now I have to explore stuff not sure how to explore practically with "someone professional" as I am Autistic and learn both visual and practically 😢 which makes learning quite difficult

 

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