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This sort of came up in a other thread, so I though I'd give it it's own topic and go into more detail. The issue is my being functionally urinary incontinent, yet I will still retain urine at times. Keep in mind I used to have severe urge incontinence with a neurogenic dyssynergia sphincter. After a whopping 16 surgeries I literally drip near constantly, with no chance of control. Yet I also have times where my tennis-ball-sized bladder will start to fill up and start spamming out again. Like, even how? So over the last few months I've had an uptick in this happening to me, and decided to try and get to the bottom of why it's happening. I went to see a urologist yesterday and had a cystoscopy done. That's where the put a small camera up your urethra to see what's going on. While uncomfortable it hurts less than inserting a catheter. My doctor was able to confirm my urethra is smooth without any kinks or strictures. So that's a relief. We talked about it for a minute, and came to the same conclusion. That there are some sitting and lying positions that can put pressure on my urethra and literally clamp it closed. That's when my bladder will fill back up again, until I move or take a deep breath to put pressure on my bladder and force myself to start peeing again. There really isn't anything that can be done to prevent this from happening. And while it isn't anything dangerous to my health, it IS annoying and can disrupt my sleep. Oh well, I guess this is just my new normal.

It amazes me how incredibly diverse and differently shaped everyone's bodies are. A diaper that's a guaranteed fail for one person will be a guarantee win for the next person. Though unfortunately for anyone starting out that means a LOT of trial and error finding the right diaper.

Wow, that's not good. I've fallen into that same pattern a bunch of times too. Have you tried OTC or prescription sleep aids? I found ZzzQuil really helps me whenever I get a bout of insomnia. I take it for 2-4 nights in a row and each night I'll get about 5 hours of sleep. After that my body seems to have reset with no more insomnia (for a time). The only "down side" is I'm guaranteed to wake up wet too.

I know right. It's like we're fully incontinent so just drain already. I don't need bladder spasms in top of it, let alone being woken up too. It's like the worst of both worlds.

Welcome back.

I would have made this a poll, but creating new polls isn't working on mobile phones. For those whom became incontinent and ultimately settled on using diapers. What level of acceptance would you say you have? And how has that level changed over time? For those who know about me I was born predisposed as a diaper lover. It's not something I chose, and it's always been an integral part of who I am. At 18 years old I became urinary incontinent while still in the US Marines. In spite of being a DL I really hated needing diapers, especially while I was still on active duty. And having to wear depends didn't help either (this was in the late 90's). I was medically discharged 3 years later I decided enough was enough. I had a very valid medical need for diapers, and I loved wearing them too. So like when life gives you lemons you learn to like lemonade, I adopted a new saying. When life puts you into diapers you learn to like being a DL as well.

I'm not a fan of tape landing zones either. Mostly because it forces the lower tapes to be positioned much higher, usually at the middle. This "no lower tapes" design means I will never get a snug fit around my legs, which directly translates into premature leaks. I never worry about tape positioning, having long ago memorized where the tapes need to end up for a good fit (Crinklz prints really help with this). I just put the tape in that same spot, and viola. Instant good fit. I'm functionally urinary incontinent, so there is no untaping my diaper to go pee. But when I need to go number 2 I just pull my diaper down and do my business. Though my diapers have elastic waist bands, and I don't have large hips so I can do that. In the end it's very seldom I ever need to redo a tape.

It depends on what position I'm sleeping in. I tend to be a side sleeper, which can put just enough pressure on my urethra and pinch it closed. When that happens I will wake up needing to pee. Usually a good deep breath is all it takes to make me pee. Otherwise I'm functionally incontinent and will just wake up already wet.

Hi and welcome. I also became incontinent while in the military. If you don't mind my asking, what has it been like raising 4 kids while also dealing with incontinence? How was potty training handled? And did you have any other hurdles or problems because of your incontinence?

I just hope they aren't using store bought diapers. That stuff should never be normal.

I believe incontinence IS on the rise. In decades past, people were shamed and outright forced to obtain and maintain their continence. Even when that meant extreme and painful procedures. Though yes I also believe it was also under reported too, and for good reason. With acceptance on the rise, and the stigma on the decline, awareness of the same old trends is increasing without finding an actual increase in incontinence cases. Except that would also mean not as many people are being driven towards continence. There IS an increase number of people who would rather allow themselves to become incontinent. Thereby driving up to total cases by a slight margin.

I took your advice. Had a chance to talk to one such administrator to give some optional feedback, and I took it. She seemed very open to my comments, and also seemed interested in my explanations. Of course I also directed her to northshorecare.com and let her know about the caregiver support they offer.

Lol, I've also had several nurses who didn't know you can change while leaning against the wall. I keep explaining and showing my diapers to them, and have gotten a really positive response. The only downside is one's modesty must take a hit and get tossed out the window.

Just had an interesting conversation with my night nurse. They had me get up and put weight on my knee (yea, I can walk). And with night approaching it was also a good time to change my diaper, so I killed two birds with one stone. I had the nurse grab one of my Crinklz, and she was immediately interested in it. At request I actuall gave her a demonstration for changing too! With dropping the old diaper on the floor to catch drips, prepping the new diaper, how to lean on the wall to hold it in place, alignment/fit, and finally tapping with rubbing to reinforce their stick. She said the design was cute and asked the brand and where I got it from. I told her about Northshore and how they also have call support for caregivers. And then she asked about their cost. I explained they are expensive but also cheaper than depends- when looked at as a cost-per-day. If depends are $0.50 each and barely last 2 hours, that's a whopping $12.00 per day. Betterdy and Crinklz cost more like $2.50 each, but last 8-12 hours. Meaning they only cost $5.00 or $7.50 at most. And of course they perform better and are way more comfortable. My nurse then asked but why I wasn't using an external catheter, since those usually work better. I explained, sure but only better than depends, which are only dependable that they will leak. But an external catheter is still way less comfortable than my diapers, and that catheyers still tend to leak all the time. My Crinklz don't leak, and out perform most anything else out there. My nurse then also noted that while collecting my old diaper for the trash she saw how swollen it was yet it didn't smell at all. I told her it's because they have SAP (super absorbent polymer) which helps lock the wetness and smells away. Which is what makes them so effective, and is something that also helps prevent rashes. And lastly, my nurse then commented most patients she sees could definitely benefit from them, but she though they would bee too thick and noticable. Maybe, I said, but a thick diaper that's done its job is way less noticeable than a thin one that's leaked.

Well I'm in a patient room recovering. My knee surgery went as expected, and my pain is also as expected but being managed. And wow, am I glad I brought my own diapers. My nurse said they don't even have adult diaers here! They would have used an external catheter and collection bag. Which I know from personal experience is uncomfortable and tends to leak way too often.

I wonder, who has ever had to stay overnight as an inpatient at a hospital, and was also incontinent. How did the hospital manage it with you, what diapers or other methods were used, and what was your experience? Tomorrow morning I check in for a total knee replacement. I'm functionally incontinent, and my go-to diaper is Crinklz (yes with the abdl prints). I don't have any other brands on hand either. I'll be staying overnight, and will be bringing my own diapers with me. So I'll let everyone know how it goes. I've also made the mistake of not bringing my own diapers before, and the "best" diaper a hospital ever carries is torturous junk. This won't be my first stay while using Crinklz either. During the covid lockdown I had a kidney stone lodge itself in my ureter. That turned into a blood infection, and due to the then protocols I was put into a full isolation room for a few days (over a weekend, as their testing lab was closed) untill my covid test came back negative. I was really out for most of it, at deaths door really. So it's pretty hazy. The nurses did keep me diapered, and did also change me at least a few times. I don't recall what, if anything, was ever said about my choice of diaper. And at the time I didn't care either. By the time I was discharged at least a dozen nurses and doctors had seen me in just my diaper, yet nobody ever commented to me about them or made it out as any kind of an issue. I guess with an infection that bad they all had bigger things to worry about.... Ps. Kidney stones are NOT the "worst pain I've ever felt". I don't know what people are talking about there, but I've had worse.

Like the OP, my biggest protection for furniture is to use a diaper I can trust won't leak. At least not that often. My couch and recliner have an extra cover on them for my dogs (yes they are allowed on the couch). That cover is easily washable and is more than enough to protect the furniture from me too. My office chairs also needed a posture support cushion on them, which those are also easily washable. So I don't really have any specific covers or pads for my furniture.

Some diapers have that problem more than others. And sometimes they can get a bad manufacturing run that will affect entire batches. And sometimes it's our own unwitting sabotage that does it. Diaper manufacturers don't want to use better tapes that cost more and aren't going to make a significant improvement. As long as 90% work as intended they think that's good enough (looking at you Abena and Confidry). They also found a bad run can cost 100's of thousands to recall. But still selling them might not cost more than a few grumpy customers (looking at you Bambino and Wellness). For them, our best bet is to rub the tapes on after sticking them in place. Just a few light rubs is enough to make sure they have full contact and are fully stuck in place. That is unless you want to try and heat weld them into place for an even better guarantee they won't come off. And then there's us too. If you use powder or creams/ointments then be really careful how you handle the diaper. Don't grab it where a tape is supposed to go. And definitely don't rub the side of the diaper flat while putting it on. That could deposit a light coating which absolutely can affect tape performance. And if they still pop off early, you can use a diaper pin (my preference), or extra tape (and later scisors) to keep them in place long enough till it's time for a change.

Oh that's easy. Because the supplies they have are dictated by some beuocrat in accounting who's never had to use an adult diaper. They look at the price per diaper, see some other diaper costs less, and think they are all created equally so why not get the cheapest one possible... I've even tried going to said beuocrats (in the VA, and with insurance), to explain how it's cheaper overall for them, and better performing for us, when going for the better product. And every time it's the same sort of "hands are tied" brush off because they just don't care.

Very true. With diapers everyone always needs more than just absorbency. They also need the ability to retain what gets absorbed. Too many people tend to overlook how important both are. Because if a thin diaper can absorb 3 liters of pee, but only retain 1 liter, then what good is it really. And if a thick diaper can only absorb 2 liters of pee but retains it all, then it really is the better choice.

Same for thick as well. Thin always means it will have more sap (super absorbent polymer). And too much sap to padding means it will take much longer for the diaper to absorb pee, and also be much more likely to leak. Thin diapers are also more expensive than thick diapers too. Think about it, every time you change a thin diaper you're paying for an new waterproof shell, tapes, elastics, etc. But go with thick and every minute past changing a thin one you're only paying for the added padding. On a per day basis, the cost of a thick diaper always comes out cheaper. Then there's function too. A diaper's entire purpose is to prevent embarrassing leaks. Thin fails at this way too often, and thick excells at not leaking. Going with a thick diaper is what's called a no-brainer. Especially when you consider this "a thick diaper that has done its job is way less noticeable than a thin one that has leaked".

Water. It's the most important thing you can drink to help with incontinence. Seems counter intuitive, but it can't be overstated. Dehydrating yourself so you won't have to go as often does more damage to your body overall. AND it makes your pee smell much worse while also causing more rashes. Just don't do it. Cranberry juice (not the juice mix) is also really good for maintaining urinary health. It's even been shown to cure minor UTIs. As for bowel incontinence (and IBS), that's probably going to vary from person to person. Though generally, vegetables are usually quite helpful in reducing symptoms and making you more regular.

I just had an interesting conversation with a new urologist, so thought I'd share. For those who don't know, I previously had a severe urinary blockage (neurogenic dyssynergia), coupled with sever urge incontinence. And yes, it was painful and the complications from it were even a little deadly. A whopping 16 surgeries later and now I'm functionally incontinent, with dripping all the time. Except recently I've sometimes been retaining urine in my bladder. Given my history I figured it would be best to look into why that's happening. So my pcm referred me to a new urologist. I'm a disabled veteran, and get my primary care at a Navy base hospital, and my urologist referral also ended up being on base too. And he is an active duty Captain. So I started him off with a brief history, where I should be with my functional incontinence, and what's been going on. And as expected he ordered a cystoscopy for a later date so we can figure out what's changed. But then he starts asking me how I've been dealing with all my problems, sex life, and managing my incontinence! Like, no other specialist has EVER cared enough to even ask this stuff.... On the topic of managing my incontinence we ended up talking about how difficult it was for me when I first started wearing depends 24/7 (In the 90's). And how bad they were with leaks. How even now the only thing dependable with Depends is they absolutely will leak. But I've since found much, much better online that is also cheaper. Intreagued he asked me what I use now, and I told him Betterdry (just to keep it simple, even though I actually use Crinklz). That yes they cost 3x as much, but they also last 6x as long. They don't leak, have better acquisition and therefore feel dryer for longer, need changing much less often, and therefore cost less on a cost-per-day basis. And he was really happy to hear all that. I just wish I also told him about LLMedical, which sells them with a military/veterans discount. Lol, or maybe this website too.

Thanks for the sympathy. It didn't happen all that often, maybe like once a week or two. And thankfully my time in the US Marines instilled me with a lot of self confidence that helped me deal with it. All that hardship is one of the reasone why I like being here to try and help others. It gives me meaning to know that I didn't go though it all for nothing. That others can benefit from it all.

Does community college while living at my own apartment count? That was also decades ago, and about 1-2 years after I became incontinent. I was still trying to figure out what diapers actually worked, and back then there weren't many options. So I was predominantly using Attends 10 with wasitbands, but had urge incontinence and would flood my diapers. All too often I'd be sitting down in class and would leak. If it wasn't too bad I'd just stay seated till most everyone had left. Embarrassment aside, a few professors expressed sympathy, and everyone else didn't notice or didn't care. I'd then carry my bag to cover up as much as I could. I also kept a spare diaper in my bag if changing was needed, or a beeline home was a better option. And this was also when I figured out black pants were always needed. At some point I started adding a booster pad too. At first it was a maxipad, but then I found baby diapers worked better and cheaper. Leaks still happened at times, but not as bad. They were always just delt with as best as I could. Unfortunately, diaper covers worn over disposables weren't even a thing back then. Neither were leak guards, sap, or any of the major improvements we now have. So as one can imagine I kept myself at a social distance from others, and didn't attempt to make any new friends.