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Most any pants or shorts, 1 size larger than normal, will accommodate diapers fairly well. Also, I found anything with extra creases or pockets (like pleated pants) visually break up the area around your crotch, which helps hide a diaper quite nicely. One other thing that helps hide a diaper is a good diaper cover. Leaks are a dead give away, so containing them before it becomes outwardly noticable is a must. I personally prefer Gary Activewear PUL pants. I wear them inside out, so the nylon layer is on the inside. This allows the cover to absorb some of a leak, while also helping me to notice it a little faster. PUL pants also muffle diaper crinkling too, furthering one's stealth.

Welcome. You're certainly not alone. One thing I've come to realize is, managing one's enuresis is a priority. I don't spend money on dining and entertainment, then skimp on my incontinence supplies. It's the other way around. I spend what's needed getting good diapers as I need, then I consider if I have enough spending money to eat out or go have fun. It may help if you look at it in a similar manner.

Yeah, I have a 2-day hospital go bag I brought with me. And also had my wife bring me a full bag of crinklz. When she showed up with the new bag the nurse went off her rocker and declared them banned and put away in a storage cabinet. That's when she went to that horrible vacuum collection system (periwiz). It leaked 2x the first evening, 4x the next day, and 1 more the next morning. I could feel a rash setting in so that's when I said screw the nurse and went back to my diapers this morning. Haven't seen her since then, but don't care.

It is! I've been sitting on a really basic bed pad. It doesn't have much padding and the top acquisition layer is a rougher/stiffer mesh that is gently digging into my skin and making it more certain any urine will be dierctly in contact with my skin. It also seems to be letting sweat accumulate on my skin too. With everything put together I'm certain my skin is getting slightly worse. And yeah, they have been having to check me at least once every 4 hours. It's only a matter of time when I can point out how much worse this is. Even with this automatic vacuum collectorthing. Now if I was using any of those cheap medical brands they have available here, or some other store-bought diaper, things would be much worse still. They'd have to check/change me ever 2 hours minimum. Something nobody wants and is likely the reason for their no diapers policy. Though through their ignorance it's unfairly applied. Their policy should be no store bought or medical grade diapers. Premium or abdl diapers having the obvious exception.

Uuugh, the nurse saw my crinklz diaper at about 25% capacity and instantly said it was going to leak. Also said that much urine directly against my skin would absolutely cause an open wound, not just a rash. Sooooo much ignorance, and she wasn't even willing to listen to why it's not a problem. I told her I'm not driving a MINI car, I have a Maserati. But no good. The nurse absolutely insisted I switch over to a periwick system. And external catheter with a hose that is under a light suction. She insisted yet again on how much better it is, and how much more I'll like it. Not even an hour later it had a catastrophic leak. Uuuugh....

I have gotten tired of diapers at times. But that has been EVERY time a manufacturer tried to slip one more price putting corner past their customers. Well, that and any time I've had to buy my diapers from a physical store.

Oh no. I just ended up at a hospital with a "no diapers" policy. I tried the usual explanation of how what we can get now is far superior, but the administrator didn't budge. Anyone got some tips or advice I could use to change their mind on this?

Wasn't he a country music singer?

I used to be able to have sex when I was urge incontinent. Back then I'd prep before sex by taking a deep breath and push a bit to try and pee. After that I'd just pull down the front of my diaper before having sex. That worked without further leaks 99% of the time. One of my urinary surgeries included a full prostate-ectomy though. They did the typical nerve sparing technique, but now I don't get hard enough for sex until I'm already about to climax. I can still "play by myself" as it is, but otherwise I had to give the wife a pass to an open marriage. Which seems to be working for us both.

I'll have to pass. These are washable garments, and appear to have a coverage and capacity of a pullup. Possibly a slight bit better. Being funtionally urinary incontinent I highly doubt these would last me 4+ hours, let alone the 8+ hours I get with a plastic disposable. Thank you though.

You should absolutely tell that to your urologist. And if they aren't willing to listen then you need to find a better urologist who will. Me personally, I believe you'd be a good candidate for a full blown sphincter-ectomy. Not a sphincter-otomy, but where they go in through your skin and completely remove your internal and external urinary sphincter- all in one go. A sphincterotomy can't do that and only goes in through your urethra to remove a small layer of your muscle. It absolutely will take multiple repeat surgeries to blow it away enough, which only adds to the chance of getting strictures and other problems from the surgeries themselves. Using a folley type indwelling catheter long term, with or without draining into a diaper, will give you the same result. So it's definitely worth testing out to see how well it works for you. And I recommend looping your urologist in on it too, just so they'llknow how serious you are about it. Take note though, I used them for 7 months once (yes draining into a diaper, never got a uti). Though after that I had to stop because I developed a urethral sensitivity. Even years later I can't stand having anything in my urethra, including a recent cystoscopy I just had done. So long-term catheter use isn't something I'd recommend.

I've been almost exactly where you are now, and I've been through it too (though I can get around with a cane, not a wheelchair). I had severe urges with an inability to pee when I needed to, so I had to push and strain really hard just to get a light stream. That also cause bowell issues, on top of my already IBS-D. As well as other bad issues. For keeping in a suppository, just about any anal plug will work. Amazon sells tons of them, as will any local sex shop near you. Start off with a small one, maybe like 1-1/4" max diameter. Use plenty of sex lube or (my preference) petroleum jelly. Insert it slowly, if it starts hurting even a little then stop and rest for a minute before continuing to insert it. If it does hurt, it's probably too big. Don't force it, and go get a smaller one. As for catheters and diapers. I asked my urologist at the Mayo Clinic that same question. His answer was yes, but with some big caveats. An indwelling catheter can be allowed to drain into a diaper. However, you absolutely MUST stay well hydrated. Like 3 liters of water spread out over the entire day. This way the catheter will be constantly flushed out. Also, you absolutely must NOT be prone to UTIs. And at the first, smallest, sign of an infection you must go back to a collection bag. If you have an old collection bag, it is also a good idea to cut out the inlet valve on it. It's a one-way valve that you can still use with the catheter in your diaper. And it will help ensure you don't get a UTI. And lastly, add on cranberry juice (not the juice mixed with apple, you have to look at the ingredients list). Either that, or take a cranberry pill every day. As for you bladder sensory problem. Is painful at all, or does it affect you quality of life any? Mine did on both, so ultimately I was able to convince my urologist that making me functionally incontinent would solve both of my problems. It took WAY too many repeat surgeries, but eventually the sphincterotomies I had did work. I now drip pee all the time without any pain or discomfort. It's an extreme solution, and getting a urologists on board with it will not be easy. Two key points to make are that one, the surgery will not make you incontinent or diaper dependent as you already are. It will only change the type of incontinence you have to deal with. And two, it will improve your quality of life. It will make it easier and less disruptive/painful, thereby enabling you to do more and get on with your life.

Oh yes, let me clarify. By clumping sooner I mean if a diaper will normally last 8 hours under moderate activity before clumping and sagging, then putting it through the dryer will shorten that time to something like 6 hours. And I agree. Putting a diaper through the dryer makes it feel like you're wearing a poofy and soft cloud. It's definitely worth anyone trying it out once or twice.

Very true- with a caveat. I've also tried a tumble dry only, and only for just a few minutes. They absolutely will absorb pee even faster. However I also found the diaper will break apart and clump/sag much sooner too. So this approach is kind of a mixed bag. If you're more worried about flooding and leaking, then do try the dryer fluffing method. Though if you're more worried about getting the most out of a diaper for the longest time, then self fluffing would be the better method.

This sort of came up in a other thread, so I though I'd give it it's own topic and go into more detail. The issue is my being functionally urinary incontinent, yet I will still retain urine at times. Keep in mind I used to have severe urge incontinence with a neurogenic dyssynergia sphincter. After a whopping 16 surgeries I literally drip near constantly, with no chance of control. Yet I also have times where my tennis-ball-sized bladder will start to fill up and start spamming out again. Like, even how? So over the last few months I've had an uptick in this happening to me, and decided to try and get to the bottom of why it's happening. I went to see a urologist yesterday and had a cystoscopy done. That's where the put a small camera up your urethra to see what's going on. While uncomfortable it hurts less than inserting a catheter. My doctor was able to confirm my urethra is smooth without any kinks or strictures. So that's a relief. We talked about it for a minute, and came to the same conclusion. That there are some sitting and lying positions that can put pressure on my urethra and literally clamp it closed. That's when my bladder will fill back up again, until I move or take a deep breath to put pressure on my bladder and force myself to start peeing again. There really isn't anything that can be done to prevent this from happening. And while it isn't anything dangerous to my health, it IS annoying and can disrupt my sleep. Oh well, I guess this is just my new normal.

It amazes me how incredibly diverse and differently shaped everyone's bodies are. A diaper that's a guaranteed fail for one person will be a guarantee win for the next person. Though unfortunately for anyone starting out that means a LOT of trial and error finding the right diaper.

Wow, that's not good. I've fallen into that same pattern a bunch of times too. Have you tried OTC or prescription sleep aids? I found ZzzQuil really helps me whenever I get a bout of insomnia. I take it for 2-4 nights in a row and each night I'll get about 5 hours of sleep. After that my body seems to have reset with no more insomnia (for a time). The only "down side" is I'm guaranteed to wake up wet too.

I know right. It's like we're fully incontinent so just drain already. I don't need bladder spasms in top of it, let alone being woken up too. It's like the worst of both worlds.

Welcome back.

I would have made this a poll, but creating new polls isn't working on mobile phones. For those whom became incontinent and ultimately settled on using diapers. What level of acceptance would you say you have? And how has that level changed over time? For those who know about me I was born predisposed as a diaper lover. It's not something I chose, and it's always been an integral part of who I am. At 18 years old I became urinary incontinent while still in the US Marines. In spite of being a DL I really hated needing diapers, especially while I was still on active duty. And having to wear depends didn't help either (this was in the late 90's). I was medically discharged 3 years later I decided enough was enough. I had a very valid medical need for diapers, and I loved wearing them too. So like when life gives you lemons you learn to like lemonade, I adopted a new saying. When life puts you into diapers you learn to like being a DL as well.

I'm not a fan of tape landing zones either. Mostly because it forces the lower tapes to be positioned much higher, usually at the middle. This "no lower tapes" design means I will never get a snug fit around my legs, which directly translates into premature leaks. I never worry about tape positioning, having long ago memorized where the tapes need to end up for a good fit (Crinklz prints really help with this). I just put the tape in that same spot, and viola. Instant good fit. I'm functionally urinary incontinent, so there is no untaping my diaper to go pee. But when I need to go number 2 I just pull my diaper down and do my business. Though my diapers have elastic waist bands, and I don't have large hips so I can do that. In the end it's very seldom I ever need to redo a tape.

It depends on what position I'm sleeping in. I tend to be a side sleeper, which can put just enough pressure on my urethra and pinch it closed. When that happens I will wake up needing to pee. Usually a good deep breath is all it takes to make me pee. Otherwise I'm functionally incontinent and will just wake up already wet.

Hi and welcome. I also became incontinent while in the military. If you don't mind my asking, what has it been like raising 4 kids while also dealing with incontinence? How was potty training handled? And did you have any other hurdles or problems because of your incontinence?

I just hope they aren't using store bought diapers. That stuff should never be normal.

I believe incontinence IS on the rise. In decades past, people were shamed and outright forced to obtain and maintain their continence. Even when that meant extreme and painful procedures. Though yes I also believe it was also under reported too, and for good reason. With acceptance on the rise, and the stigma on the decline, awareness of the same old trends is increasing without finding an actual increase in incontinence cases. Except that would also mean not as many people are being driven towards continence. There IS an increase number of people who would rather allow themselves to become incontinent. Thereby driving up to total cases by a slight margin.