Brian

@John Davis Thank you again Sir! The way that you can deal with a situation is to put it on a priority scale. When I first started having problems with accidents, I realized that this was a 10 on the scale of I have to figure out what's going on here, and once I realized that I was having the problem I was having, then I was able to determine that I better find a way to deal with it, found that it was easier for me to deal with diapers than to deal with constantly having to get up in the middle of the night, losing sleep and being uncomfortable and and also the stigma of not having control. when I finally decided what to do, and I finally went to the doctor, asked for help and got the diapers that I needed after testing a lot of garbage, I finally got something that worked for me, and then severity of the priority scale went from a 10 down to a one, And incontinence is the least of my because I have other medical conditions that may be something I have to worry about. wearing a diaper is easy, dealing with other types of issues like diabetes or weight or something like that Maybe a tad bit different, but putting a diaper on and changing it when necessary Is it really easy. My parents told me when I was a kid that it was OK to be unsure and it's OK to be afraid, but you should always try to learn from your experiences And each time you learn you get better, and you get more confident so that you can do things for yourself and you can take more chances, because you learn how to with a situation and master it. the. the problem with incontinence is that technically you don't have mastery of your bladder or bowels, and that is by no fault of your own, it might be because of a disease, or a malfunction in your body, or the fact that some of your body parts don't work, and if those are things that exactly what the situation is, you don't have the ability to master it, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over trying to do so! you should also and I know you understand that being able to deal with it is the big thing, Because if you can teach people empathy and understanding over something that may be uncomfortable for others, then you will be able to be that support, and you will know because you know how to handle it. Brian

@John Davis Thank you! the most important thing is if you're dealing with bed wetting, incontinence, or any type of issue, weather, whether it be urinary incontinence fecal incontinence are both, the most important thing is that we allow people to know that it is common to have these issues, and not to freak out and have nightmares over it. many people that I've dealt with Maine May not understand what's going on, but they know that know that it's something that they must deal with. I've learned that if you can deal with it because you know what the problem is, and you're not afraid of it, you can look it right in the face and you can take control of it right away. if you need help, there are people all over the place that can help you, but it may take the right type of person to help the support you need. In my mind you are exactly right, we have a situation where we're dealing with incontinence or bed wetting, or other issues related to incontinence and, and we do owe it to ourselves to pay it forward, and tell people that incontinence is not all bad, and all of the stigmas and bad things that people hear about incontinence, wearing diapers, dealing with the logistics of changes and other things, they're not as bad as people make it sound, but you also have to realize that people may not understand on it, the worst thing that you can do is to worry about it to the point you end up making yourself sick. incontinence is common, in many people men and women, but I also understand that women probably don't have it as much as men do, but they do have it. Paying it forward allows others to be able to learn from our experiences and they can understand that they shouldn't be scared or worried. as long as a doctor has cleared you medically, and you have a way to be able to deal with it, and you can get the right equipment or the right supplies, you can deal with anything that you can come up with. people that are incontinent deal with the situation they deal with, because that's all they know. It's just like me or others that have disabilities. I have cerebral palsy, and that's all I have known all my life, so I have been given a challenge, And I have to deal with it the best I can, and not be afraid of it, not scared to look in the eye and say OK what's going on. many times there have been nights when for example I know that something is important that happens in my life, like the night that I had to make a decision or whether I wanted to have life altering surgery to correct hip dysplasia, and I had to make the decision, because if I didn't and I let it go too much longer I would have dislocated hips and arthritis forever. that night I bit the bullet and said I have to do this, And I asked for support and I got it, it hurt like crazy, and it was a pain in the neck, and my parents had to help me up every night and take me to the bathroom for like 6 weeks at night, because I was unable to walk on my legs, but they were supportive. when you're dealing with a challenge, you always end up having to find ways to deal with it, and one thing that I've learned is you don't give up, and you always work hard. with incontinence, incontinence is something that I can't fight, And even if I wanted to, it doesn't make any sense, and it doesn't make sense to worry about it, you just deal with it, i've learned from special friends that it's no big deal, however it can be a very smelly and very uncomfortable experience sometimes, because you're not sure what it's gonna do when it's gonna happen or what you were release, but I've learned that you have to deal with all of these problems and if you can look it in the face and face it, it's easier to deal with. having diapers has made my life a lot better, because you don't have to lose the battle, because the diapers will help you win, and they help you In my case by leaving all the uncertainty in the diaper, because the diaper is there, and i'm glad I have it, because I don't have to worry anymore. I'm also glad that when I ask my friends for example what they would think of me if I had to wear diapers, all of them said not a big deal but, because people do! that made me feel like it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Most of the time when you end up dealing with a situation like this, you worry that someone is going to find out about something that is not exactly glamorous to deal with, and they'll try to tell you that you should be doing this or you should be doing that, because they're why you would decide to make diapers one of your treatment options, but that is one treatment option: in my case I don't think that my incontinence will get better, with my age it'll probably get worse, the only thing that I needed to realize is that doing it and going 24/7 now will make it easier when I have to go 24/7 because waiting would mean that I probably would have to now that I'm used to it it won't be so bad I also have a lot of respect for people that have to deal with bladder or bowel incontinence, because they deal with a situation that can be very very comfortable for many, and they deal with it with a lot of care, Tact in Grace. They look at in the face and say OK let's do this, And they're not afraid to go in there and deal with it. That is what people need to realize, if you can figure out what's going on and have a way to deal with it, then it's easier to deal with, and you don't have to worry, and you don't have any sleepless nights or worries anymore, because the diaper is there. sometimes however, I wonder because people that don't understand incontinence sometimes sometimes don't understand that that feelings are also important, and diapers help me deal with those feelings as well. if both are under control, then there's no reason to worry, and all of the stress goes into the diaper and then in to a garbage can. If you look at it that way, Incontinence is easy to deal with. If a person is dealing with bed wetting, then most of the problem is that a kid is dealing with a stigma that is bothering him, And if you know how to deal with that particular situation, and you're not afraid to allow the kid to be a kid, and be supportive, and where diapers as long as necessary, if that's what needs to happen, then the kid ends up getting more confident, because they're not worried that their parents are going to get after them because they wet the bed or they mess the bed, or their incontinent. I've seen situations where people are really upset because kids wet the bed, or maybe mess their bed, but if you have the right supports and your parents understand what's going on, they just end up thinking that it is normal, and it's something that they deal with as a normal part of growing up. if for some reason you continue to bed wet, then it may turn into incontinence at some point, if that's something that a doctor can diagnose. whatever You find out is the cause of incontinence or bed wetting, You should always remember that the kid should be allowed to be a kid, and you should be as supportive as possible, because a kid should not be traumatized, and that's part of the problem with potty training is that want their kids out of diapers so bad that they will put their kids in a position where they want their kid to start potty training and they want them to succeed, where I've seen happen where a kid back slides and can't complete party training because they're just scared that somebody's going to get after them, or that they're going to get picked on at school, And sometimes the best thing is to let the kid die wear diapers because that is important for them. It is not a kids fault that they're incontinent, and it's not a kid's fault that they wet the bed, or mess the bed. I've done it myself, and let me tell you it can be embarrassing, but incontinence is not worse than death, because you can't die from incontinence, you may die if you have some medical problem that blocks up one of your passages, or something happens that's toxic, but I've never heard of incontinence killing anyone. It's just someone's feeling that incontinence is really bad, and sometimes people have bad incontinence, but that's why people make the decision to either use medicine or in my case diapers, because it's easier to buy diapers and be able to get them if you have the right diagnosis, and if you have friends friends or family that understand your reasoning, then everyone is on the same page, and they understand why. I'm really happy that I have the friends I have. all through school i've been having problems with certain issues, especially in certain subjects. one time I had so much trouble in school with a math test or not being able to do long division, that I had a friend of mine actually teach me how to do it, and no one else could teach me how to do it correctly! I don't know if it's because it just didn't register in my brain or if it's something by the way it was taught. Potty training is not different, if you're taught in a particular way that works for you, you might have to modify the way it is done so that a kid that is learning potty training does not want to back off because somebody scares the heck out of them. Diapers are not the enemy here, they are a tool that helps those that need it, and no one should think of incontinence as something that is worse than death, sure it is inconvenient and there's other things that go along with it, but incontinence is not the end of the world. what people have to understand about being incontinent is that control is not yours, and that's why you're wearing diapers, for one reason or another, you don't have control, and you need to be able to count on the fact that when you have to use the bathroom you can do it effectively. sometimes people don't have the control, or their downstairs plumbing doesn't work, or whatever is going on, or maybe they can't feel something down below because of a medical problem or a nerve disorder or something, everything that you can think of can possibly cause incontinence, but the thing is if you can take it in stride learn to deal with it and teach others to be tolerant of those that deal with it, you are more helpful to those that are going through the uncertainty, because you've been there. Many people might be scared of incontinence, but there's nothing to be scared of, people may be embarrassed, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's just all the stigmas that everybody hears, and those stigmas put everybody in a situation where the stigma say that it's bad, well inconvenience is inconvenient, but it isn't bad If you know how to handle it! that is the main thing, being able to know how when and why you handle it the way you handle it is important. having an open mind and being able to be understanding and empathetic towards the situation. Helping others understand incontinence or bed wetting, Will allow them to understand that it is not something that somebody wakes up and decides that they're going to start wetting their beds. young children go through this every time they go through potty training. Some people may end up having problems that cannot be solved simply by potty training them, and some of them have weak bladders, some of them may not have functioning plumbing, or plumbing that works properly, So they end up with dealing with all of the things that have been discussed. One of my main goals is to make sure that people understand that there should not be a stigma attached with being incontinent: as long as you can understand it, and have empathy for somebody that is dealing with it, then you may be able to understand what it is what it feels like to have to wear diapers all the time, or to have to get up in the middle of the night and change a diaper because you made a mess, or when you end up wearing a diaper, and you can finally get halfway decent night sleep, and you don't have to worry, see? That's what I mean, if a baby doesn't have to worry about messing or wetting Itself, because it doesn't have to deal with the stigma attached or get yelled at, Then they don't feel threatened, but some parents think that it's bad, so they try to make the kid feel bad. incontinence is not worse than death, but some parents make it feel like it is! being disabled, I am lucky because I understand what having that problem is like. all through my life i've had bouts of incontinence where I just couldn't control it,, And there's nothing I could do about it, but the good thing is when I was in rehab, most of the people I dealt with understood it and was able to help me relax and calm down, And part of that was by using diapers, even though I've had some crazy experiences dealing with it, but the most important thing is not to let it get you down, because incontinence and bed wetting issues happen to a lot of people, and you wouldn't be able to tell sometimes! Most of my life I have had to deal with stigmas that have to do with problems that deal with my disability. people would call me a special Ed student, or what they would call a sped, or some other type of inappropriate comment that probably would have gotten me in trouble, but I always used to say that I may be a special person big deal, I'm a special to my family members and I'm special to my friends, and sometimes kids can be very very pathetic, and very mean. I have been very lucky in my life to have good friends that stood by me regardless of what happened, and as long as I can help those that need it understand that incontinence is nothing to fear and nothing to be afraid of, then maybe they will be able to understand that as long as they have incontinence, there is a way to deal with it, and you don't have to hide or worry that someone's gonna find out about it, and you don't have to change your life and go into hiding because of it. many of my friends take it and run with it, because they know it's something they can't control, and you have to be able to deal with it in some way. I have a lot of respect for people like that because they know what they must do and they do it every day. I'm very proud of those individuals that deal with it, and they have a way to deal with it properly in their own mind, because the most important thing is to put the incontinent person at ease, because if they're at ease then they can function better, if they're always worried about something happening, then they're going to be afraid and they're not going to be able to enjoy things. And continents should be something that happened, but incontinence shouldn't have you, because you have incontinence, and you have the tools that are necessary, they might be hard to get but they are available. Respectfully, Brian

@Slomo I consider myself lucky, because I've dealt with cerebral palsy all of my life! When I was 46, I started having problems with incontinence, and then I ended up finding out that some of the things that were happening were happening way too fast And I was unable to take care of it quick enough. when I started having these problems along with diverticulitis I BS and accidents, I decided to go to the doctor and have it taken care of or at least get help for it three years later one of the things that I made sure to say was that I didn't think it was necessary for me to go to urologist, but the state was trying to tell me that that was one way to get help. I told the state that I already had cerebral palsy, and that incontinence is one of the conditions that could come from it, and apparently whatever my doctor was able to prove by writing up the authorization, as well as the medical record sent, I was able to get the diapers I needed, without having to go to a urologist, And all I did was tell Medicaid exactly what was wrong, and they had me do homework to find the five diapers that I liked, in order from one to five. The first one I chose as the top choice was the Mega Max in the approved at, And based on me having accidents for almost two months using the cheap stuff, they were able to quickly determine that I was right. When you have incontinence, it can be quite hard to be able to deal with. sometimes you don't understand what's going on or why you're dealing with it, but all you know is one day you're fine, and everything is awesome, and the next thing you know you're having accidents all over the place, and you need to figure out how to deal with it. you may not be able to act fast enough to be able to deal with it, so you end up with embarrassing situations. because of all of my embarrassing situations, I finally realized that I can't help it, and it was part of my disability, and I chalked it up to the fact that things are changing. also, when you eat certain things, stuff happens so quickly you can't respond fast enough. One of the things that I found , was the fact that I asked the doctor to place on my medical records diagnosis that confirmed incontinence both ways. this way no one would be able to question my need for diapers, or request to use them if I were in a medical situation where one would be required. Having a diagnosis that gives me the opening to use diapers to deal with incontinence really help me to deal with the situation in an appropriate way. the only way I could think of to deal with it would be to deal with diapers, because it helps me in more ways than one, And I've already explained that it helps me with the feelings and all of the urges and things, but having the right the right diagnosis will make sure that people understand that I am incontinent, even if a lot of the times I could still make it to the bathroom, it's just inconvenient to be getting up every few minutes to go to the bathroom, or trying to fight the obvious, which is not a good idea. Because of my disability status, it was quite easy to understand my reasoning for wanting to do it. I want to make sure that I have the right incontinence supplies for my needs before I turn 60 or 70 years old, when it might be harder for me to be able to get what I need. it also helps me deal with the feelings and the urges, and puts it in a way that I can deal with it, and it helps me to relax and keep my cool as well as to allow for me to lower the stress level. when you are in continent, sometimes the stress can be extremely high, but if you're able to deal with the incontinence and the use of a diaper all the time, then it's no big deal to those that are veterans of the condition. I can understand why some people would be annoyed if they don't have the right diagnosis, because the right diagnosis would help them to be able to get what they need. I was very lucky that my doctor was very understand knew of my disability, because I've had him as a doctor for 25 years, and he knows that I wouldn't ask for something that I didn't need. when I started having accidents and I kept on having to get up in the middle of the night, or have messy beds or whatever it is that is causing the issue, I knew that there was a problem, this was not something that was fun. Once you can deal with your incontinence and the need for diapers, then you can add the fun to it, but when you have problems and you think there's a medical reasoning for it, and your checked, everything should be OK. I didn't want to go to urologist because I already have a condition that would be a subcondition, being that I'm incontinent, and my proximate cause in my mind was the CP, because CP deals with all of the muscles and your skeletal system, and sometimes people have problems with their bladders or their bowels because of electric impulses that cause their muscles to expand and contract without they're able to be controlled. I'm lucky that I have good supportive people that love me and understand my reasoning, and I'm glad I made the decision, because I'm feeling better about myself because I made that decision. I keep saying that I'd wear diapers for the rest of my life, because they help me in ways that are sometimes indescribable, but I'm sure everyone here knows me, and understands my reasoning it is also important to get the proper diagnosis and to put it on your medical records. This is because there may be a time when you have a situation, and when you ask for a diaper for example, if it's not on your medical records they might tell you that it's not a good idea. I remember when I had my appendix out, and I was having these disasters accidents because of the medicine I was on, and I finally got sick of it cause I was constantly making messes in my bed, so I finally gave up and asked for a diaper, and they told me that that would not be a good idea because that would that would probably cause me to have an issue, and it's easier for them to just clean up the mess. I told them that I wanted to be comfortable and not have to worry about making a mess, but they said that wasn't for me to worry about That was for them to worry about. having the proper diagnosis can be something that will take time, but once you do have the proper diagnosis and the proper tools, you're able to deal with it Because as I said once you're able to accept that you wear diapers or that you've decided to do a treatment that makes sense, then you're able to decide how to move forward, and if you chose to do things with diapers, then you might be able to add the fun afterwards, because if you're wearing diapers for example because you need to, people may decide that they need to use ones that are colorful, because they don't wanna be wearing clinical white clinical white, because that's boring and you might as well wear diapers that are markers of your personality, and who knows you might end up being able to get a pretty girl to give you a wink or something someday you never know he he he he he he he he he he he😊😊 also, having the doctor check you and being able to have the right diagnosis can help you when you're dealing with the insurance company. if you have the right documentation and you have the diagnosis correct, no one is going to tell you that you can't get diapers because you don't have the proper diagnosis. I don't know of any company that would deny you coverage because of having the proper diagnosis on your medical records. they might try to fight you, but there's nothing that you can do to fight something something a doctor says if there is proof of your condition. I'm glad that I have the proper diagnosis now, and I don't have to worry about it anymore nor do I have to fight with the insurance company because I have proven my need for diapers, and I've proven the reason why I want the diapers I have, because I am incontinent both ways and severely incontinent, and I have friends that also suffer the same problem, and they know that the cheap diapers don't work for them, so they have to use ones that work for them And as I keep saying Diapers that work for somebody else may not work for you, it depends on your usage and your diagnosis. As I said You should always try to make sure that you have the proper diagnosis, and don't let anyone tell you that you don't suffer from what you think you suffer from! if you have incontinence, there's a reason for having incontinence, whether it be because of medical reasons, psychological reasons, or whatever, there are reasons that things happen, and as long as you have the proper diagnosis and your doctor's support as well as those that know your situation, incontinence is easier to deal with, because you accept it, and you don't have to worry that somebody is not accepting of that particular diagnosis. I ask my doctor because of my doctor will retire in May if getting a new doctor is going to make a difference in how things run, such as will the doctor think that I'm not incontinent or want to send me to these specialists even though he's a newer doctor, and I was told no way, because everyone knows that I'm incontinent and my situation, and my situation makes sense to the doctor as well, because I don't want to deal with all of the craziness if they end up thinking that I'm not incontinent, because I am! I always remember my friend who told me that the doctor works for you, and that is the most important thing. I know from experience that I would not ask the doctor for something that I didn't think I need it, and that is what our relationship is based on: trust and my ability to make decisions, and if I question those decisions, that I ask him for advice, because he knows the medical end of it, knows how medicines interact with other things, and be able to tell me right off the bat if he thinks it's a good idea. one of the things that we agree on is that he would not prescribe a narcotic without a reason, and he would warn me about particular medicines and how they're used If for example they cause side effects that may not be good ones, but it's a necessary evil. if you have the right diagnosis, the right medical team, the right support, and the right equipment, you can manage incontinence quite well. It all depends on your ability to manage it, and how you do it, and that makes a big difference. no one should be afraid of incontinence, and in my case I have embraced it, because it is a part of my life and there's nothing I can do about it, so why not go all the way down like in a submarine, all the way to the bottom and then take all the help you can get and use it. there's nothing to be ashamed of and there's no reason to feel any less of an individual because of your incontinence, it's just something that happens, and I know it can be hard for some people that may deal with it, or maybe diagnosed for the first time, but if you have the right support team and the right equipment, and the right mindset, it is a lot easier to deal with. daily diapers help me to get that mindset into my mind, so I don't have to worry about it, because my diapers deal with two situations, and I'm glad that I made a decision I made. I'm also glad that our automated records record system can show anything that a medical professional needs to see in situations where my doctor is not right they are serving me. For example if I'm in a hospital and and a hospitalist is treating me He, he can look directly at my medical records and find out exactly what's going on, know that I have incontinence And then no one would question it, and they would probably offer me what they need to offer me. because of my medical conditions, I don't have to worry that somebody isn't gonna know what's going on, and they will know for example what I'm allergic to and what not, so they won't give me medicines that won't work. That's why I asked the doctor to make sure that the diagnosis of incontinence were on my records, because I don't want to have any one questioning it, I just want them to know it's there. In my mind, incontinence is like a bump in the road, and how you go over that bump is up to you, but the way you deal with it will determine how you respond to it and try to help others. in my mind incontinence is nothing big, but you are to make sure that if you have a problem, that your doctor checks you out to make sure that there is nothing that is causing it, that can be corrected. people think that diapers are bad, but they're not, But when but when you are incontinent, you don't have a choice, and that is the most important piece. For some people they deal with incontinence by adding other pieces of the lifestyle, and they also deal with the incontinence by adding that piece of the lifestyle, running with it. this ends up putting them at ease, because they know that they feel better about it. As I said take heart inconvenience isn't that bad, you just have to know what you wanna do with it, what your diagnosed with, what you want to do to solve it, and then get the help that you need to make it happen. don't be afraid to ask for them to place things like this on your medical records, because it can help you when you need it. this way no one can question the veracity of my request, and Medicaid won't hopefully back out, thinking that I don't suffer from it anymore. it's on my medical records, so they can't deny me. or they can try it 😂😂 Now that I have accepted incontinence, it's a lot easier to deal with, 'cause I don't have to worry about something that just comes out of the blue: because of people that are here on daily diapers and on incont.org there's a lot of people that I have met that deal with these types of these types of situations, and I'm darn glad that they're here to help others period Now that I understand what's going on, it's easier to help those in need, whether it be because they need experience, or they just need a shoulder shoulder to cry on or a person to confide in. some is the incontinence journey is harder for others to deal with than they realize, but it's not as bad as as people say. However, when people ask me about incontinence, and what it feels like, and what you have to do, always tell them that having incontinence means you wear diapers all the time because you don't have a choice, whereas you were a DL, that would be a little bit different, that's a way to deal with incontinence, just like being an AB would be, But the deal is that people who ask me about incontinence and wanting to be that way, I always tell them that what you're asking for is to wear diapers all the time, and when you are incontinent you may not have the choice of when to wear or white to wear, because you wear all the time, regardless of whether it's convenient, regardless of its summer winter fall or whatever, you wear all the time, without fail without stop! it's not all front end games and it's not all roses, as my friend would tell me, but people that ask need to be told the gods on his truth, and that is the incontinence is not all It's cracked up to be, So you shouldn't be wishing on yourself unless you understand what exactly will happen. you are basically saying you want to have no control, or limited control, and that's what incontinence means, you don't have the ability to control. I'm glad that most people understand what people go through. here, people know what incontinence means and what it means in their lives, and they know that it is not often in games, and one of the things that I understand very well is that my decision was not made lightly, and I had to make a couple of decisions to tell a couple of my close family members why I made a decision I did. I love my life, and I want to be able to function to the fullest extent possible not worrying about when I go potty, or why I feel the way I do, or when I have to use the bathroom, and I can't get there fast enough. there's also safety concerns involved in it, so my decision makes sense. sometimes you have to weigh the positives versus the negatives and determine there are more positives in making the decision than there are negatives. once you realize that, it's a lot easier to deal with. this is what I always try to tell people is that the decision to order diapers is something that is made based on your need, and what you think is appropriate, and incontinence is nothing to fool with, but once you are fully checked out medically, to make sure there's nothing else that is causing incontinence, you would feel more comfortable probably. One of the things is that you should not be afraid of it, just make sure that you have the proper diagnosis, and you understand what your diagnosis is and why you you have that diagnosis. For years I've dealt with cerebral palsy and understand what it is that it entails, even though there are many different types of cerebral palsy, many different levels of severity, and there are many people out there that are specialists in the field especially PT's OT's speech and language pathologists and other people along with audiologists and a whole bunch of different specialists. When you have a special disability, you may have to deal with many different people doctors and support personnel. same thing with incontinence, but as I said incontinence is the least of my disabilities, which means I don't worry about it, I embrace it because it makes me feel better. Changing diapers is a lot easier than having wet beds! Brian

@Slomo I agree with you: I use the diaper covers from North Shore as the trifectas: they are very effective at keeping leaks to a minimum, And sometimes even with the best of intentions, you leak through the diaper and you might end up leaving wet spots. Even when you have the cover over the top, i've had it leak through my pants and have a big wet spot. Diaper covers can help you in many ways because the idea of a diaper cover is to be your second line of defense, if you use a diaper and you leak through the, the plastic pants or what they call diaper covers will help you to keep whatever you're releasing inside either the diaper or the cover. If you have the cover on it is more advantageous because then you can use the diaper with confidence all the way through, So if you have a bad accident, you can be at least confident that you have coverage. I always use a pad on my normal chair, because I'm not sure sometimes what will happen when I have to release, But I do have to release, and I don't want to have to worry about having an accident, that's why I use the washable underpatch, because that will protect what I'm sitting on, but having an accident is a lot easier now because if I end up with a wet pad, I can simply take it off and wash it. I believe like you, that diaper covers are helpful. call them diaper covers, call them rubber pants, call them plastic pants, call them baby pants or whatever it is that you we're told they were called when you were a kid. they all have the same function They all try to help you keep what you release within confines of your diaper or pretty darn close, so you're not blowing up and having major accident. that doesn't necessarily mean that a diaper cover is like a bulletproof shield, because sometimes you can have a bad accident, and it can leak through to the diaper cover and therefore you would have a mesh to clean up. back in the old days, rubber pants were probably used most likely because of cloth diapers, because there was nothing to help them keep the mess in the diaper, so plastic pants were used, or what my parents would call rubber pants. they were actually rubber back then, and they had an Unmistakable odor, And if you had a diaper on, the diaper cover would enhance the look of your butt, and someone would call you bubble butt. also if you were born in the 70s, pampers were the disposable diapers that were probably available unless of course you were using ones that were like Mike shows in the museum on daily diapers. If you were born when I was, most kids would wear pampers as their diapers, and most parents would throw a pair of plastic pants over the top of the diapers Because even in the 70s, the diapers weren't as absorbent as they would be nowadays, but this way anything that you released in the diaper would have somewhere to go if you leaked. part of the reason why I think pampers were so thick was because they needed to be able to absorb anything that a kid would throw at it, and let me tell you if you were in diapers, you had two ways to know that, because you could either hear the crinkling or you could hear the swishing of the plastic pants on the outside. While I was growing up, I always had a diaper on And then when I started to train, my mom would throw a pair of plastic pants over it, when she made that I would maybe have an accident. The covers can be protective, but you can always know that after awhile even the best protection needs to be checked and changed And it's not always bulletproof. rubber pants have their particular function, but today with so many people having allergies to rubber or latex, they have to change the way those are made so that they don't cause major problems with allergies to plastics rubbers or synthetics. Rubber pants also can maintain whatever is in your diaper or leaking outside into the plastic pants. regardless of how good it is, smell is going to permeate from something, so even the best plastic pants may not be bulletproof. And I agree with you, because of the way the body is contoured, there is no absolutely positive 100% Bulletproof way to keep smell to a minimum because you would have to seal the entire area around that so that no smell can escape into the air. we all know that that is impossible, so rubber pants are used to also help you keep the diaper in place, as also as a protection, because if you have to use the diaper, it's a lot easier to have plastic pants over the top in case of a blowout. I'm sure there is an apparent here or a person that has seen a baby that has had a bowl out that has been really bad, and that and that can happen at any time, especially if a kid is learning to eat new foods, and you end up giving them something that their body cannot deal with at this time, which means that it is more likely that someone will have a blowout. rubber pants help keep that mess in one position, however even with the best type of diapers and plastic pants, you need to be able to change the diapers on a regular basis, because we all know what happens: great big angry rash if you don't take care of it right! I'm glad I have my diaper covers, and I'm glad that I decided to pull how all the stops when I went 24/7. because I decided to make that choice, I feel a lot more confident and I know that I have the right equipment, which unfortunately does not mean that I don't have blowouts or leaks, but it is a lot easier to deal with if you have protection and can just take everything off at the end of the day if you have an incident. Hooray For plastic pants! they have changed over the years, but the idea is that they try to keep mess to a minimum as well as well as the smell, But unfortunately we all know that it is impossible to what all times keep both at bay. That is why you have to make sure that you are checking and changing yourself regularly, lest you have a major rash and then you are in Mega Agony! Brian

the most important thing that I think I could tell parents of bed wetters is that it does happen! there are many people who this condition, And sometimes what happens is that children's bladders and bowels do not develop at the same speed, and it may take longer for to be able to mature, so you should always be supportive supportive of your children because sometimes one of the most difficult things to deal with is that there are people out there who may think of bad things when it comes to bad wetting. Children all mature at different ages in different speeds. Some of us are lucky enough to be party trained and be able to be fully out of diapers by a certain amount of time or a certain age, while others may end up dealing with bedwetting and are incontinence issues call and some of that is due to the fact that the i'll just still growing and may not be maturing as fast in certain areas than others, sometimes they grow they might grow too fast, or maybe they might not be maturing at the same speed as others, so you must be supportive and be there to support them, because when you deal with things like bed wetting or incontinence, it can be very traumatic to a young child who is trying to figure out why they just wet the bed and they don't know why. I have always been the kind of guy that would say let the kid be the kid. Sometimes kids end up dealing with trauma or other things that cause them stress or worry, And the best thing you can do is be there for them and try to help them through it. if that means that you will allow them to wear diapers longer, then that is what needs to happen. far too often fear and fear and peer pressure can be like a positive and negative on a battery, and a negative and a positive always repel each other. Part of allowing the kid to be a kid is to let the kid grow with their own speed, and sometimes kids need diapers for a longer period of time than others. if you're disabled for example That also may mean that you may wear diapers further into life than most kids do, and that is why it is always important to be supportive loving and understanding. I remember dealing with several of my younger friends, who are afraid of the stigma or being found out and then made fun of. incontinence Is something that you may not be able to control, so it is not the kids fault, and you should always look at it that way. Bedwetting is also something that you should think of in the same way. it is not the child's fault that they are wetting The bed, Or having accidents, And no matter what you try to do, the best thing is to try to be supportive, because in time it will pass, And if not, appropriate things can be done to help them whether you allow them to use diapers or you end up going a medical route by using some sort of treatment or medication. regardless of what type of solution that you use whether it be diapers or medicine or some other type of support system, never ever chastise the kid for bed wetting: Some kids just don't have the control as others, and some people that are disabled may not have as much control as others do as well. diapers are there to help you if you need them, but even if you do use them, you should always be supportive and be there for your child because the most important thing is to allow them to grow up with as little stress as possible, because you're only a kid once, and if you're constantly worried about being found out or picked on, that can make your life crazy. The most important thing is to throw the stigmas out the window! don't try to use something that you were told as a kid as a reason to force a child to train, of diapers. you want to be able to help them, and if they're having bed wetting issues, then there is a reason to use diapers and other supports. it may be that the child wears diapers until they're 15 or 16 are longer, depending on the severity of the situation. you may also want to take your child to the doctor for support as well, because the doctor will want to check to make sure that the child is still developing properly, or to see if there's any problem, that can be somehow treated. regardless of how you take care of the situation you should always be there for your child, and have an open mind and allow them to grow, and if they are dealing with bed wetting issues or if they're dealing with incontinence, the best thing to do is to be there for em. Diapers are not the enemy here, diapers are things that you can use as a treatment option, but the kid should not be in front of or otherwise chastised because they have to wear diapers. Many people are incontinent or have bed wet in the past, And if, like my younger brothers, they are allowed to continue to do what they do, eventually they will hopefully grow out of it, and if they don't, at least they have the support of family friends and confidants, who support them regardless of what happens! The best thing to do is to support children as they grow. Far too often parents will find something wrong with what their kids do and they will give them heck for it. Bedwetting And incontinence are issues that might need to be addressed throughout their life, And the thing I want to make sure people understand is a kid is only a kid once. Let them be the kid they want to be, and be there for them, because some friends of mine are incontinent or they've had bed wetting issues, and the more support they can get throughout this throughout this time that they deal with the better it will be for the child. adults grow up, and they end up dealing with so much responsibility, and part of the responsibility means that they must take control of what they're dealing with in their lives. being a child, you have the luxury of time because you can be a kid, and if you have the right supports, Bed wetting And incontinence can be dealt with appropriately, as long as you have an open mind and you know that a child is trying to do the best they can. Even when they sometimes wet the bed, Or they deal with other issues as they grow, you should always be there for them and always remember that a kid should be a kid, and be allowed to live the best life possible, because soon a child will be an adult, and they will have other responsibilities and memories of how they are treated as a kid, so the best thing you can do is be supportive, don't pick on them, don't chastise them, don't make them feel bad, Because bed wetting and in continents are things that are easily controlled and dealt with, so long as parents and caregivers do not make a big deal out of it. sure, you should have it checked out, and a doctor should be advised, but a child should not be made fun of or somehow made to feel bad because they have this condition. It's more common than you can think of, And there have been a lot of adults out there like michael Landon or Suzanne Somers or others that have had these issues, and it is more common than you think. Parents should remember kids will be kids, and the easiest way that you can help them deal with wetting the bed or incontinence issues should be to take a stance where it is not a big deal, it is not made light of, And it is something that is normal, and it is normal part of life! some people cannot train, some people continue to have wet beds even as they grow older, so the best thing you can do is be there for them and provide them the help they need and support, and hopefully bed wetting will not be something that is traumatic for a young child. A child should be a child, be allowed to make mistakes, and if that means they wear diapers longer, or they find other ways to deal with it, that is the way it's done. There be a kid that has a diaper on, then not have a diaper and be wetting my bed, And when I started having accidents myself three years ago, I knew that I needed help, and that is the way that I choose to handle it, but you should always be there for your children, because if the worst thing that can happen to a kid is that they wet their bed or they have incontinence, and they do better otherwise, then that's the easiest thing to help them deal with, meaning that on a scale of 1 to 10 incontinence would be a one and other things would be a 10, because incontinence is not the end of the world, is just something that needs to be dealt with, and children need to be given the understanding that incontinence is not a big deal, and that parents will help them deal with it, and the best way to do that is to have a positive attitude even when a person has a bad day. if a parent is there for them all the way through, it doesn't matter what they do, they will always have the support and love, because incontinence is not a big deal And a wet bed is nothing that needs to be made a big deal out of, But children know what they have done, and as long as they're given responsibility to be able to take care of what they can take care of, and the support of their parents, anything can be achieved! the important thing is that love will conquer all! Parents know that they're kids need support, and that's what they're there for. if a parent understands exactly what is going on, they can easily help them deal with an issue. With an open mind, anything can happen, and if you make a big deal out of or a wet bed and you end up making it sound like it's the crime of the century, a child will be afraid of it, and will probably try to hide it from you. being open honest and above board about it, will help a child to deal with it. i've had two brothers that had that situation happen to them, and they grew out of it. the thing is you have to be patient and loving and understanding, and not condescending and negative and negative! you want to make sure your kids know that you are always there for them and you don't want to make a big deal out of a wet bed or incontinence, because incontinence is not the end of the world And a wet bed is easily changed, but you always have to let the child know that it's not their fault, and that you were there to support them no matter what: this is always something that I've always been told, that your parents will be there for you regardless of what happens, regardless of how old you are, you will always have your parents around for as long as you can have them, and they always should instill the fact that bed wetting is a common thing and should not be worried about. That's how I helped one of my friends When he was about 9, he was afraid that because he was having wet, that somebody would end up finding out about it and picking on them. when somebody suggested that he wear a diaper at night, he had a major problem with it because he was afraid someone would find out about it and think of him as a baby. my quick thinking and understanding of the situation along with my empathy was useful, because this gentleman was told by me that sometimes people have a problem with their bladders or their bowels and they don't grow as fast as others, And so diapers may be necessary, and that they help you, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Once he realized that it wasn't a big deal, and that no one would be picking on him about it, he was able to deal with the situation and it wasn't a big deal to him, and I'm glad that he was able to deal with it and I was able to help him. My best advice is to love your children and support them all the way, regardless of what happened, because if you are in a position to be able to help them and that you understand their issues, it will help them to be able to feel that they can confidently come to you and deal with any situation. because my parents were so open and honest and understanding, regardless of what I did, good or bad they were always there for me, and I had situations where I would wet the bed a few times myself, and they just thought of it as no big deal, and that was the best thing, because nobody made fun of us because of our disabilities, and nobody made fun of us because we had to wear diapers, or because we wet the beds. that is why a diaper is like a tool, and it is not something that should be thought of as a negative item, but there are too many stigmas out there that have been built into our heads since we were kids to tell us that after a certain age diapers are bad! that is false! Brian

@Incont Too bad you couldn't end up coming up with a pop figure for some of the people on the site itself. it would be kind of interesting to see them build a pop figure of yourself and other friendly faces that help us on both forums. I would even pay to have a figure of some of them come because they are really awesome people! Thank you for doing what you do and helping people on both sides! I will also do my best to help people here as well, because each of us has been on a journey and each of us has their own ways of dealing with what they deal with, and can tell different stories about how we deal with things, how we got here. Many of us may have thought to ourselves that having incontinence is bad, but it is all how you deal with the situation. One of the things that I will try to help people understand is that if you have incontinence, there's nothing wrong with you as a person, it's just something that happens, and it is your decision on how to handle the situation. being supportive is the number one thing that I have always told people, because without good supports somebody may end up thinking that it is hopeless to deal with it. nothing is hopeless, and being disabled myself, there are many things in my life that I thought I could never do, and I used to say I can't do that, but I ended up mastering it, and there are many things in my life that I thought I would never be able to do, unless and until someone was able to help me and support me similar to how people do on both sides. with that support you can overcome anything, and then once you overcome it, you find ways to deal with it, and it becomes normal for you, although it might be inconvenient sometimes it can become normal. Sometimes I wonder for example if my incontinence may be caused because of my age, or because as you grow older, maybe your bladder or your bowels change in some way And because of that, it is easier to have accidents and not know it. That is one of the things that I wonder about, and that is why I started wearing diapers all the time. it is a lot easier to have a diaper on and deal with it as it comes, rather than to worry and cause myself sleepless nights and stress. making the decision I did was the best that I had made in my life, and it has made me feel like I'm complete, I am whole, and If it happens it happens, but I'm not afraid to look at in the face anymore and say I got you this time! I know that as you age, things can change in your body, and I know that one of the things that I was wondering about was if I made the right decision in 2020. Every time I end up almost having an accident, or having such a accident, I always look at myself look at my diapers and say, I made the right decision, and I'm glad I did! I no longer have to worry anymore, and worrying and stress are two things that I'm trying to eliminate in my life, and having incontinence while a little inconvenient sometimes, is a lot easier to deal with than all the stress and all the worry and everything that you can't control. just like a little baby can't control what happens, sometimes you can't control it either! So you have to be able to deal with it, and I feel like the decision I made back in 2020 was the best I ever did, because I feel more confident and more able to focus and be able to do what needs to be done, without worrying about what the stigmas and other people think believe and always try to push. Brian

This is just a notice: I posted this again because I tried to edit it because I gotten something, And apparently the post had already been posted, because I had clicked the post button when I wasn't finished. I go back into edit it and I'm able to edit it for only a few more minutes, where it says that the post can no longer be edited, and I'm not sure if this is something that @Incont May have to look into because that is really strange I've never had it set where you couldn't edit a post after a certain time limit. Usually you can edit it as many times as you need, but I just wanted to bring it to his attention. rather than trying to lose the pole entire post, I posted again in its complete form, perhaps Mike can take a look and see if there's a problem with the way the settings have been set, I don't think daily diapers act like this, so I was just curious if the settings may be a tad bit different over here than over there. Brian In my mind, a stigma is simply something that is put in your mind when you are a kid. You end up having the ability to live your life as a young child and do whatever you do, and you use your diapers as normal. it is normal for a little kid to wear diapers and use them, it is quite normal for them to wet themselves mess themselves and to want to take their diapers off and run sometimes. There is no stigma attached with wearing diapers when you're a kid that you need them, Because you have people that support it, and you have people that understand it. When you deal with potty training, you end up gaining the need a potty train, if possible. some people take longer to train than others, and for those, a stigma could develop because somebody thinks that they're not trying hard enough, and they're putting these ideas in people's heads that they're not doing something that they should. They're using a diaper when they should be using the toilet, or their wetting their beds and should be using the toilet. These stigmas are based on what our parents think is appropriate based on our age and our ability. parents want us to be out of diapers as quickly as possible, so they don't have to deal with having to change them or purchase them, and sometimes kids don't quickly train, or they try to train, and they end up back in diapers for longer period of time, until they are ready. you have to be physically emotionally psychologically ready to be able to do it, otherwise our parents asking us to train is like asking me to give Mikey $1,000,000! I wish I could do it, but that's impossible! a kid has to be ready to be able to handle the situation, and that requires his body to be ready in his mental maturity must be ready to do it. if the kid doesn't have that ability, they're not gonna be successful, and sometimes even when they try, they fail. Stigma is based on other people's opinion as to what the norm should be for somebody that is say 4-5 or six years old. somebody sets the norm that says 5 year old kids don't wear diapers or kids don't wear diapers after so much time, and they go to school, so the first thing they wanna do is train you. And if you're having trouble training, that can be something that can be detrimental to the kid because they because they think there's something wrong with them, when in reality all it is is maybe their bladders are smaller and they need to grow, or maybe they're having trouble holding whatever they're trying to hold, before they get to the bathroom. You can do a lot of different things like cut the water, cut the soda, cut the caffeine, or do other things to help you at night when you're a kid, but if you are a guy or a young lady that needs to use the bathroom, it's going to happen, even I have made a mistake in what the bed a few times myself, but it isn't for lack of trying, And I can tell you from experience, that sometimes you miss, sometimes you don't hit the target, and you make a mess and all you do is resign yourself to the fact that you just peed yourself, or peed all over the floor. that can give you another stigma like you failed. I can also tell you from experience that potty training is difficult for some people, impossible for very few, But there is a possibility that that may be a possibility for people who have medical and have to wear diapers. For me I was trained early, but I was always prepared in case I had to use the bathroom, because my parents knew that my disability may end up precluding me from getting to the toilet on time, so they were always around to help me if I wanted to get there quickly, because my mom was saying to me to me that she would rather get me there fast, and have me not get hurt rather than having me worry about making a mess, because a mess can be cleaned up, but broken bones or other problems are harder to deal with. If you have people that support you like I said in my earlier post, stigmas earn is bad I don't believe, because the people that know of your condition and know why that you have these issues aren't there to make judgments on you. the general public makes judgments based on what they see or what they think is appropriate based on the norms of the community. in the incontinence community or the diaper wearing community, It is expected that people are going to wear diapers and, and we don't judge people's need or judge people's reasoning for using diapers. we come together and we help them. if they question themselves and wonder why, we try to help them deal with whatever it is that they deal with. we answer their questions as truthfully as they can be answered, and we always try to answer the question they ask, rather than to try to run them down a rabbit hole and tell them that their wrong order it's bad or whatever. the idea of being in a community like this is to support people and get support from people. even I have challenges like everyone else: for the longest time I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with me And why am I dealing with incontinence now. I was kind of relieved because I Thought that it would be a good idea to wear diapers, but I figured what will people say What will people think What would people believe. these are all stigmas that were brought forward to me to me after I continued to have accidents, and then I realized that a stigma is only what somebody thinks, what somebody believes or what some people use as a judgment poll to decide where a person should be, and whether a person should be wearing diapers or not. it is not the public's responsibility to judge the reasoning why someone does what they do, or why someone may decide to treat incontinence in a different way. it is the public's responsibility to be supportive of those that are dealing with issues that may be uncomfortable to not only the person that is dealing with it, but too others that are dealing with the same problem. it is not the fault of individuals that they have incontinence, but it is our responsibility as citizens to support them and help them to deal with it, so they can be and continue to be the best people they can be, supporting our community, because without support, we are in trouble. I don't care how old you are whether you are a baby, whether you are two years old, whether you're 50 years old, or older Call there are many reasons why people are dealing with incontinence, there are people that still believe the old wives tales: The ones that set ages that people should be potty trained by, the ones that set miles songs for child to be able to gain, and wild milestones are an important part of growing up, setting a milestone that says that a person needs to be trained by a certain amount of time, is only something that is probably set by our parents because they don't want to deal with diapers anymore. sometimes you have to deal with diapers regardless of what they deal with, and I'm glad that my mom was the kind of person that was a matter of fact, but always was loving and supportive, even when I was trying to figure out to myself why I felt the way I did, the fact is that incontinence is something that happens to many, and the way you react to it and the way you treat it while it is your decision, is the way that Help you to deal with the issue. If you are empathetic and understand others struggles, it is easier for you to be able to take it in hand and say, it's no big deal, people do have incontinence and they deal with it all the time, just don't worry about what other people say, do what you think is right, and we'll be here to help you and support you. I also think that stigmas were something that was put in our heads because they didn't want us to feel like we were going to get hammered with peer pressure because somebody that's older may wear diapers. Peer pressure is something that is very very very strong, And sometimes peer pressure is what someone needs to help them get over a bump in the road, And sometimes that helps a person learn the skills that they need, but sometimes pressure can be detrimental, or hurt somebody. This is why when I have young friends that have problems with incontinence, I always tell them that it's not their fault, and wearing diapers is not bad, I always try to pull the positive into what Is considered negative, And I always tell them that it's OK, Because your diaper will help you. it is not your fault that you have you have the problem that you're dealing with, and sometimes you just need to get bigger, and the problem will hopefully fix itself, but sometimes the problem does not, but that doesn't make a person any less of an individual because they were diapers, and the good thing about diapers is, you don't have to worry about wet pants, just your wet diapers and an occasional leak here and there. The thing is you have to turn a stigma into something that is not bad anymore. Luckily times have changed and people are more understanding of what incontinence is and why people use the things they used to deal with it. Today, incontinence is something that is dealt with with professionalism and tact, and it's not something that is made to be a negative where people would judge a person because of it period To judge someone because of incontinence is the bad thing to do, because even when somebody has their own issues, we all have issues of what we must deal with And sometimes incontinence is the demon that someone is trying to deal with, and the way they deal with it is to wear diapers or to deal with it in another medical fashion period Since this is an incontinence form, we will just say that people can use medicines or incontinence products, and it's up to the person who is dealing with the situation. This is why I'm always empathetic: there are many things that go wrong in life, and there's many things that are really bad. one of the things that I learned is that I have a lot of things that I'm dealing with My age, my disability, my mobility, my mental state, and everything that I'm dealing with. I'm also dealing with incontinence, and other medical issues. if you deal with incontinence, In my mind, the lowest of the things that I'm worried about, because I have a way to deal with it. Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale, because I have the right attitude, the right support, the right equipment, and I understand that it's not my fault, and I'm not going to pick on somebody or make them feel bad because of it. stigmas do that, and I think that's part of the problem, we need to get rid of these old stigmas that say diapers are bad. Let's put it this way: if you had a choice between wearing wet pants, or wearing a diaper and then wetting your diaper, would you rather have a wet diaper that you change and your dry pants, or would you rather have no diaper And wet your pants and have a whole bunch of mess to clean up? the answer probably would be that it would be more comfortable to wear a diaper, because that way at least you're dealing with the situation, and you don't have to worry too much. Sure you're gonna have to clean up afterwards, But if it wasn't for a diaper it would be a lot worse if you didn't have one on. The problem is that you have people that put stigmas in people's heads that make it sound like if you wear a diaper it's bad, or you tell a kid that wearing diapers is the most ridiculous thing, or pick on them, and that's what puts these negative connotations in their minds. if we can reverse this trend and tell kids that diapers are used by babies, but not necessarily everyone wearing are babies, and they can help you, and you reset their mindset a little, then they realize that a diaper is helpful, and not bad. When I started having problems at 46, including having accidents in my pants or in my chair, or even in my bed, I realized That I needed help and I ask the doctor for it, I also went to daily diapers, because, because I knew that there were people that were in my position and would understand exactly what they deal with. @Incont Understands exactly what people go through, and his community has been very very helpful to me and others. I knew that exactly where I needed to be, and I knew which several of the people by name because I had seen them before, and they have always been supportive. when I had the issues that I was dealing with, I knew that that's where I wanted to be, and I needed to be there, because I needed to understand what is going on or why I the way I did, and especially since they did have experience with incontinence. A diaper is a tool that is being used. In my case, the accidents were happening at such a frequency that I had no choice, and as stated above, things changed so fast, and I was basically spending more time in the bathroom than any time during the day, and most of that was when I was dealing with trying to sleep at night. I spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than in sleeping. my sleep was being interrupted, I wasn't very comfortable, and I know that there are people on daily diapers that could help me, and they help me to understand exactly what I was dealing with and why I was with it, and that it was OK. once I realized that it was OK, then I worked on trying to accept it, trying to deal with it in a way that makes sense, talking to people that have been very supportive, like a second family, and I'm so glad that I have this family, because some of the things that I've gone through people wouldn't understand, but people here do. The first or second time that I had a problem, I couldn't even move fast enough to get out of the chair! I would feel it about an eighth of a second before I was actually out of the chair, and I couldn't even get up or be able to put my hands on the arm rest of my recliner to be able to move towards the wheelchair, And I'd already messed my pants! when this kept happening, and I kept on losing sleep, I finally said " I've had enough, and it's time to do something, that's something was to join daily diapers, and I am here now, and I will continue to support both sites, because We are all a family regardless of why we are in diapers, we are all a family, and we deal with our incontinence in different ways, and hopefully My advice can be helpful here as well as over there" so as I say, stigma, I look you in the face and tell you too Go To Hell! Stigmas are made by others who may not understand why or how we can function the way we do or why we like something the way we do, and that is part of the problem. people judge us based on things that we have ingrained in our heads, and we need to be able to change the outlook of people who think diapers are bad. When you have incontinence, a diaper is like a savior, because it allows you to use your diaper and still move on with your life and live your life to the best possible way, although there are things that you may not be able to do as easily like swimming, but they're always good things about wearing diapers, because you don't have to worry if you have to release, You just have to be in a situation where you're around people that would expect you to release and not give you a bunch of grief overdoing it. if you have to release you have to release And that's that! @Zombie_Turtle Has it right: I say that because the most important thing is you need to be able to get on with your life! diapers are a normal part of my life, and several friends have said that they wished diapers were more normalized. I guess that is why there are some people like me who try to help people understand that it is normal to wear diapers, and I would rather wear a diaper for the rest of my life every night, if that is what it takes for me to feel confident for me to feel safe for me to feel like something makes sense to me, and it helps me to sleep! I don't know if I can even explain why it feels so good, but it's like having someone give you a wicked shot of something that removes pain, and let me tell you sometimes when you have to go to the bathroom, the pain is ridiculous, and can come on you like somebody snapping their fingers and pointing at your stomach, and then it's like Mount Saint Helens erupting, and then your diaper is your savior because it will catch it! because of me wearing diapers, I can now sleep all the way through the night, and when I talk to my doctor about it, I told him how much time I was spending in the bathroom every night, and he was concerned about my sleep habits! I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can, and as far as I can tell diapers are helping me to stay that way, and let's hope that diapers will continue to help me, because I don't wanna worry about it anymore, worrying about it causes more trouble than it's worth, you just have to be able to deal with it, and what I've learned is that the best thing to do is to remove as much stress as you can. Diapers not only help me with incontinence, but they help me with the stress and everything that I deal with in my life. people may laugh at me and say that that's ridiculous, but let me tell you having the diaper on kind of puts you in a position where you don't have to worry about it. You have your diaper on, and I always think of it this way: when you have to release, you are releasing all the stress and bad things that happen in your life in your diaper, which is designed to catch all of that, you change you clean up you throw it away, see you throw your stress away and you don't have to worry anymore, and every time you have that happen, your diapers ready. sometimes the stress gets out It gets out of your diaper into your cover, sometimes it leaks onto the floor, but you get rid of it and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I never realized how much diapers helped me to be able to lower my stress level, And that seems to also be something that I want to do. I'm sick of my heart rate being over 130 beats a minute or higher because of something stupid that I think of that has no bearing on anything and makes no sense. Diapers make sense to me, and I will continue to support those that need it. The most important thing is that is that a stigma is just that, a stigma! It is something that is put in our brains to make us think that diapers and things that are somehow revolting or somehow unfavorable in the world around us, So we think they're bad. stigmans are also used as a way to change someone's opinion, or have mold them and shape them into a possible belief that something is good or bad. I can understand peer pressure in the, and the fact that young kids young kids may not want to wear diapers, and be seen by their older friends, or the or the fact that they might be picked on if they wear diapers, but a stigma is just that It is a belief that is used to change our way of thinking, when the thing is a kid should be allowed to be a kid period two out of my four brothers had bedwetting problems throughout their lives, And one of them wore diapers until he was four and a half, and my other brother wore diapers until he was almost 3. our parents didn't get after them for it, but they were taught that it was OK that they wet their beds. They were also taught responsibility, And as they grew older, they were told if they wet their beds that wasn't a big problem, they just needed 2 bring their sheets downstairs and put them in the washer, and tell them that they wet their bed, and change it. No one got in trouble for that, but we found out, Mike and I for example, being the oldest what exactly was going on. they would want to get into bed with us, and we found out why. I had no objection, but I always would tell them that if they wet themselves, that is OK, but they're not getting into my bed for example unless they're dry! the point is is that you should be able to look a stigma right in the eye and put a whole right in the tire of that stigma! we need to be able to remove the stigmas and all the bad connotations of wearing diapers, and allow people to understand that diapers are not the worst thing in the world! if I were to ask one in 10 people on daily diapers if they would rather wear a diaper versus whether having a wet bed, probably all ten of them would tell me that they'd rather have a dry bed, and they might have 10 different ways of dealing with the situation. The most important thing is that the stigma should not put the child or anybody else in a position where they feel any less of an individual because they don't have any control. The idea of having someone be supportive is so that they can get over it. I have cerebral palsy for example, and there's nothing I can do to change that, And I'm always going to have it from the day I've been born until the day I'm dead, but I've learned how to deal with it so that it is not something that is detrimental to my health and my well being or my mental stability. diapers give me the support that I need, and now which is I can I will continue to help people give them support as much as they need, because I say diapers are not the problem, it's the People's public persona in their belief that diapers are bad that we need to change, And we also need to make it so that people understand that incontinence is not like a dragon that's going to burn your head off if you have it! you can control it, and even then, because you have to wear diapers, you can have fun with it, and that's why for example I wear different color diapers, because plain white ones get kind of boring, but I do understand the therapy where white ones Because that's the way they feel of it, which is fine. My main concern is that we need to allow people to say they're incontinent without feeling like somebody is going to stand them up like a nightclub and do a end up routine with them at night! remember regardless of what type of incontinence you have, you always have support, because without support, always a lot of a lot of the world around us would be something that you couldn't figure out, it would be like if the world itself was changed. I live in a world for example where you talk it might be people and they understand you, But what would happen if the world around you was like this, and then somebody decided to flip a switch, and so I'm watching unsolved mysteries for example, and everything Robert Stack says is backwards, and everything else someone says is forward and I can't understand it, and it's really weird. That's what I think some people think of incontinence, it's like being in a show called close encounters of the third kind, people are not aliens They're just people that have an issue, and people need to be understanding, even if they don't understand it, and that is why we need to teach people that incontinence is not bad, it's just how you deal with it That's important. But regardless of what you do to do that, you need to be understanding and supportive. Brian

@John Davis@Zombie_Turtle@Susan In my mind, a stigma is simply something that is put in your mind when you are a kid. You end up having the ability to live your life as a young child and do whatever you do, and you use your diapers as normal. it is normal for a little kid to wear diapers and use them, it is quite normal for them to wet themselves mess themselves and to want to take their diapers off and run sometimes. There is no stigma attached with wearing diapers when you're a kid that you need them, Because you have people that support it, and you have people that understand it. When you deal with potty training, you end up gaining the need a potty train, if possible. some people take longer to train than others, and for those, a stigma could develop because somebody thinks that they're not trying hard enough, and they're putting these ideas in people's heads that they're not doing something that they should. They're using a diaper when they should be using the toilet, or their wetting their beds and should be using the toilet. These stigmas are based on what our parents think is appropriate based on our age and our ability. parents want us to be out of diapers as quickly as possible, so they don't have to deal with having to change them or purchase them, and sometimes kids don't quickly train, or they try to train, and they end up back in diapers for longer period of time, until they are ready. you have to be physically emotionally psychologically ready to be able to do it, otherwise our parents asking us to train is like asking me to give Mikey $1,000,000! I wish I could do it, but that's impossible! a kid has to be ready to be able to handle the situation, and that requires his body to be ready in his mental maturity must be ready to do it. if the kid doesn't have that ability, they're not gonna be successful, and sometimes even when they try, they fail. Stigma is based on other people's opinion as to what the norm should be for somebody that is say 4-5 or six years old. somebody sets the norm that says 5 year old kids don't wear diapers or kids don't wear diapers after so much time, and they go to school, so the first thing they wanna do is train you. And if you're having trouble training, that can be something that can be detrimental to the kid because they because they think there's something wrong with them, when in reality all it is is maybe their bladders are smaller and they need to grow, or maybe they're having trouble holding whatever they're trying to hold, before they get to the bathroom. You can do a lot of different things like cut the water, cut the soda, cut the caffeine, or do other things to help you at night when you're a kid, but if you are a guy or a young lady that needs to use the bathroom, it's going to happen, even I have made a mistake in what the bed a few times myself, but it isn't for lack of trying, And I can tell you from experience, that sometimes you miss, sometimes you don't hit the target, and you make a mess and all you do is resign yourself to the fact that you just peed yourself, or peed all over the floor. that can give you another stigma like you failed. I can also tell you from experience that potty training is difficult for some people, impossible for very few, But there is a possibility that that may be a possibility for people who have medical and have to wear diapers. For me I was trained early, but I was always prepared in case I had to use the bathroom, because my parents knew that my disability may end up precluding me from getting to the toilet on time, so they were always around to help me if I wanted to get there quickly, because my mom was saying to me to me that she would rather get me there fast, and have me not get hurt rather than having me worry about making a mess, because a mess can be cleaned up, but broken bones or other problems are harder to deal with. If you have people that support you like I said in my earlier post, stigmas earn is bad I don't believe, because the people that know of your condition and know why that you have these issues aren't there to make judgments on you. the general public makes judgments based on what they see or what they think is appropriate based on the norms of the community. in the incontinence community or the diaper wearing community, It is expected that people are going to wear diapers and, and we don't judge people's need or judge people's reasoning for using diapers. we come together and we help them. if they question themselves and wonder why, we try to help them deal with whatever it is that they deal with. we answer their questions as truthfully as they can be answered, and we always try to answer the question they ask, rather than to try to run them down a rabbit hole and tell them that their wrong order it's bad or whatever. the idea of being in a community like this is to support people and get support from people. even I have challenges like everyone else: for the longest time I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with me And why am I dealing with incontinence now. I was kind of relieved because I Thought that it would be a good idea to wear diapers, but I figured what will people say What will people think What would people believe. these are all stigmas that were brought forward to me to me after I continued to have accidents, and then I realized that a stigma is only what somebody thinks, what somebody believes or what some people use as a judgment poll to decide where a person should be, and whether a person should be wearing diapers or not. it is not the public's responsibility to judge the reasoning why someone does what they do, or why someone may decide to treat incontinence in a different way. it is the public's responsibility to be supportive of those that are dealing with issues that may be uncomfortable to not only the person that is dealing with it, but too others that are dealing with the same problem. it is not the fault of individuals that they have incontinence, but it is our responsibility as citizens to support them and help them to deal with it, so they can be and continue to be the best people they can be, supporting our community, because without support, we are in trouble. I don't care how old you are whether you are a baby, whether you are two years old, whether you're 50 years old, or older Call there are many reasons why people are dealing with incontinence, there are people that still believe the old wives tales: The ones that set ages that people should be potty trained by, the ones that set miles songs for child to be able to gain, and wild milestones are an important part of growing up, setting a milestone that says that a person needs to be trained by a certain amount of time, is only something that is probably set by our parents because they don't want to deal with diapers anymore. sometimes you have to deal with diapers regardless of what they deal with, and I'm glad that my mom was the kind of person that was a matter of fact, but always was loving and supportive, even when I was trying to figure out to myself why I felt the way I did, the fact is that incontinence is something that happens to many, and the way you react to it and the way you treat it while it is your decision, is the way that Help you to deal with the issue. If you are empathetic and understand others struggles, it is easier for you to be able to take it in hand and say, it's no big deal, people do have incontinence and they deal with it all the time, just don't worry about what other people say, do what you think is right, and we'll be here to help you and support you. I also think that stigmas were something that was put in our heads because they didn't want us to feel like we were going to get hammered with peer pressure because somebody that's older may wear diapers. Peer pressure is something that is very very very strong, And sometimes peer pressure is what someone needs to help them get over a bump in the road, And sometimes that helps a person learn the skills that they need, but sometimes pressure can be detrimental, or hurt somebody. This is why when I have young friends that have problems with incontinence, I always tell them that it's not their fault, and wearing diapers is not bad, I always try to pull the positive into what Is considered negative, And I always tell them that it's OK, Because your diaper will help you. it is not your fault that you have you have the problem that you're dealing with, and sometimes you just need to get bigger, and the problem will hopefully fix itself, but sometimes the problem does not, but that doesn't make a person any less of an individual because they were diapers, and the good thing about diapers is, you don't have to worry about wet pants, just your wet diapers and an occasional leak here and there. The thing is you have to turn a stigma into something that is not bad anymore. Luckily times have changed and people are more understanding of what incontinence is and why people use the things they used to deal with it. Today, incontinence is something that is dealt with with professionalism and tact, and it's not something that is made to be a negative where people would judge a person because of it period To judge someone because of incontinence is the bad thing to do, because even when somebody has their own issues, we all have issues of what we must deal with And sometimes incontinence is the demon that someone is trying to deal with, and the way they deal with it is to wear diapers or to deal with it in another medical fashion period Since this is an incontinence form, we will just say that people can use medicines or incontinence products, and it's up to the person who is dealing with the situation. This is why I'm always empathetic: there are many things that go wrong in life, and there's many things that are really bad. one of the things that I learned is that I have a lot of things that I'm dealing with My age, my disability, my mobility, my mental state, and everything that I'm dealing with. I'm also dealing with incontinence, and other medical issues. if you deal with incontinence, In my mind, the lowest of the things that I'm worried about, because I have a way to deal with it. Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale, because I have the right attitude, the right support, the right equipment, and I understand that it's not my fault, and I'm not going to pick on somebody or make them feel bad because of it. stigmas do that, and I think that's part of the problem, we need to get rid of these old stigmas that say diapers are bad. Let's put it this way: if you had a choice between wearing wet pants, or wearing a diaper and then wetting your diaper, would you rather have a wet diaper that you change and your dry pants, or would you rather have no diaper And wet your pants and have a whole bunch of mess to clean up? the answer probably would be that it would be more comfortable to wear a diaper, because that way at least you're dealing with the situation, and you don't have to worry too much. Sure you're gonna have to clean up afterwards, But if it wasn't for a diaper it would be a lot worse if you didn't have one on. The problem is that you have people that put stigmas in people's heads that make it sound like if you wear a diaper it's bad, or you tell a kid that wearing diapers is the most ridiculous thing, or pick on them, and that's what puts these negative connotations in their minds. if we can reverse this trend and tell kids that diapers are used by babies, but not necessarily everyone wearing are babies, and they can help you, and you reset their mindset a little, then they realize that a diaper is helpful, and not bad. When I started having problems at 46, including having accidents in my pants or in my chair, or even in my bed, I realized That I needed help and I ask the doctor for it, I also went to daily diapers, because, because I knew that there were people that were in my position and would understand exactly what they deal with. @Incont Understands exactly what people go through, and his community has been very very helpful to me and others. I knew that exactly where I needed to be, and I knew which several of the people by name because I had seen them before, and they have always been supportive. when I had the issues that I was dealing with, I knew that that's where I wanted to be, and I needed to be there, because I needed to understand what is going on or why I the way I did, and especially since they did have experience with incontinence. A diaper is a tool that is being used. In my case, the accidents were happening at such a frequency that I had no choice, and as stated above, things changed so fast, and I was basically spending more time in the bathroom than any time during the day, and most of that was when I was dealing with trying to sleep at night. I spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than in sleeping. my sleep was being interrupted, I wasn't very comfortable, and I know that there are people on daily diapers that could help me, and they help me to understand exactly what I was dealing with and why I was with it, and that it was OK. once I realized that it was OK, then I worked on trying to accept it, trying to deal with it in a way that makes sense, talking to people that have been very supportive, like a second family, and I'm so glad that I have this family, because some of the things that I've gone through people wouldn't understand, but people here do. The first or second time that I had a problem, I couldn't even move fast enough to get out of the chair! I would feel it about an eighth of a second before I was actually out of the chair, and I couldn't even get up or be able to put my hands on the arm rest of my recliner to be able to move towards the wheelchair, And I'd already messed my pants! when this kept happening, and I kept on losing sleep, I finally said " I've had enough, and it's time to do something, that's something was to join daily diapers, and I am here now, and I will continue to support both sites, because We are all a family regardless of why we are in diapers, we are all a family, and we deal with our incontinence in different ways, and hopefully My advice can be helpful here as well as over there" so as I say, stigma, I look you in the face and tell you too Go To Hell! Stigmas are made by others who may not understand why or how we can function the way we do or why we like something the way we do, and that is part of the problem. people judge us based on things that we have ingrained in our heads, and we need to be able to change the outlook of people who think diapers are bad. When you have incontinence, a diaper is like a savior, because it allows you to use your diaper and still move on with your life and live your life to the best possible way, although there are things that you may not be able to do as easily like swimming, but they're always good things about wearing diapers, because you don't have to worry if you have to release, You just have to be in a situation where you're around people that would expect you to release and not give you a bunch of grief overdoing it. if you have to release you have to release And that's that! @Zombie_Turtle Has it right: I say that because the most important thing is you need to be able to get on with your life! diapers are a normal part of my life, and several friends have said that they wished diapers were more normalized. I guess that is why there are some people like me who try to help people understand that it is normal to wear diapers, and I would rather wear a diaper for the rest of my life every night, if that is what it takes for me to feel confident for me to feel safe for me to feel like something makes sense to me, and it helps me to sleep! I don't know if I can even explain why it feels so good, but it's like having someone give you a wicked shot of something that removes pain, and let me tell you sometimes when you have to go to the bathroom, the pain is ridiculous, and can come on you like somebody snapping their fingers and pointing at your stomach, and then it's like Mount Saint Helens erupting, and then your diaper is your savior because it will catch it! because of me wearing diapers, I can now sleep all the way through the night, and when I talk to my doctor about it, I told him how much time I was spending in the bathroom every night, and he was concerned about my sleep habits! I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can, and as far as I can tell diapers are helping me to stay that way, and let's hope that diapers will continue to help me, because I don't wanna worry about it anymore, worrying about it causes more trouble than it's worth, you just have to be able to deal with it, and what I've learned is that the best thing to do is to remove as much stress as you can. Diapers not only help me with incontinence, but they help me with the stress and everything that I deal with in my life. people may laugh at me and say that that's ridiculous, but let me tell you having the diaper on kind of puts you in a position where you don't have to worry about it. You have your diaper on, and I always think of it this way: when you have to release, you are releasing all the stress and bad things that happen in your life in your diaper, which is designed to catch all of that, you change you clean up you throw it away, see you throw your stress away and you don't have to worry anymore, and every time you have that happen, your diapers ready. sometimes the stress gets out It gets out of your diaper into your cover, sometimes it leaks onto the floor, but you get rid of it and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I never realized how much diapers helped me to be able to lower my stress level, And that seems to also be something that I want to do. I'm sick of my heart rate being over 130 beats a minute or higher because of something stupid that I think of that has no bearing on anything and makes no sense. Diapers make sense to me, and I will continue to support those that need it.

@zzyzx I think the way people view incontinence or fecal incontinence specifically is basically determinant on what the situation is, or what someone's feelings are regarding the situation. Most people would think " my goodness this is terrible, I need to be able to get some help, and other things like that" I know from experience that some people think incontinence is the worst thing that can possibly happen to them, but I have helped young children actually accept the fact that wearing diapers is not a big deal because you may not be able to control it, and your bladder may not be as big as others, so you might not be able to control it or have the control to hold. Some of my friends have fecal incontinence as well, and that can also devastating to anyone who is trying to deal with it, who can't understand why for some reason they don't have the control. Because I have a disability myself, diapers are a tool that can be used, but sometimes the stigmas are associated with incontinence can make people feel inadequate like they should have known better or they had something to do with it, when it's not something they can control. Diapers are simply a tool that can be used as a way to handle incontinence. there are other ways too, but in my case, I didn't want to deal with having to go to a urologist, because I do have a neurologic condition, having cerebral palsy, and everybody knows about cerebral palsy and what can happen, and that there are many subconditions that can be exacerbated by having cerebral palsy. I told the doctor and no one certain terms that I his judgment, And I believe that he had enough information to make the proper diagnosis, so that I could wear diapers, and there would be no question, because technically, life goes by so quickly, and sometimes you have to take it as it comes, and sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to deal with incontinence. the way someone deals with incontinence, or the way someone feels about incontinence can also help the person who has incontinence to be able to deal with it. Someone who is somehow turned off by incontinence, or think it's bad, or Thinks of you in a negative connotation because of your incontinence, this can be a negative draw. They make you feel uncomfortable or they may make you feel as if you should know better, but we all know that incontinence is something that some people may not have a choice about, May not have any control over, So having a negative influence over incontinence is not uncommon, but it's amazing how many people use stigmas and old beliefs that we were taught as kids that diapers were disgusting or terrible and only for babies, when we know darn well that that isn't true! When you have a supportive bunch of people, who love you regardless of what happens, that is one of the positives of having a good support system. many people may not have good support systems, so they have to come to places like this to be able to get advice about how to handle it. how a person responds to someone who comes to them and said they're dealing with incontinence, and they might have to wear diapers or they might decide to wear diapers or they might wear diapers anyway, And if they have a good support system and an understanding bunch of friends or family members, it's a lot easier to deal with, and it's not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. Incontinence, it is very easy to think of the negative, it is quite hard in some cases to turn a negative into a positive, But in my case a negative was a positive, because I'm dealing with a negative of the incontinence, And I'm also dealing with the positive of being able to deal with the feelings that I've been dealing with ever since I was eight years old. If you have a supportive family member or a lot of good friends, they would look at it as no big deal, and they would simply help you and they would support you all the way, but if you have someone in the negative that can put a damper on it. The idea to be supportive is always a good one: I don't care whether a person is urinarily incontinent or fecally incontinent or both. They are incontinent, and they need to have the support and loving care of people who they trust. trust is the main thing that everyone needs to have, if you can't trust people, then you can't deal with it effectively. Incontinence can be treated with Medicines or other interventions, but the most important thing is that you need to be supportive loving understanding and supportive. if you are dealing with it this way, then the person that is dealing with incontinence has a good shot of understanding that incontinence is not their fault, and they should not have to worry how other people respond to them having the issue. if you know how to handle incontinence after you learn, you learn that it isn't that big of a deal, and you have strategies to be able to deal with it. if your friends and family support you, to them it's no big deal and it's part of life, and they would easily understand and they wouldn't want to put you down or make you feel bad, it just happens. for example my cerebral palsy was caused by something to have to do with not having Enough oxygen when I was born. Because of this, I ended up getting cerebral palsy, which was not my fault, not my parents fault, or anything like that, it was just something that we dealt with. my brother also was disabled, and my mom dealt with that as well, including dealing with changing my brother every day, And it was normal for us to do this. My parents were not the type of people who would get after me if I had an accident, or any of my other family members, because they knew that we had disabled people in the family and we dealt with our disabilities the best we could. I was very very lucky in life that I had a grandmother, mother and father who were very supportive, And my grandmother has dealt with her daughter Disability and her brothers and sisters were always there. She died at 53 in 2017, but she always was the kind of person who would roll with the punches regardless of what happened, and was loving and caring and everything else, and always and always had a really good handle on things. People have to realize that having incontinence is not their fault. It could be caused by medical condition, it could be caused by an injury, it could be caused because something is not right in the body, but regardless of how it is caused, there are many ways to deal with it, and I know that it can be inconvenient for many, And I've had it happen to me very inconveniently a couple of times, But when you live with incontinence you have you have to understand that it is there, and you have to look it in the eye, and you have to say I have you under control! The way the public views incontinence will base any response. People who are in the medical profession are probably seen it many times, dealt with it many times, and may have been either a CNA or an LNA or maybe an RN, and have had to deal with patient care, which includes dealing with changing briefs or dealing with incontinence. those people that do it, they understand that a person is incontinent and they don't even bat an eyelash, and their professional and empathetic to people's conditions. There are so many people in the world that deal with incontinence It's probably not even funny, and probably not even quantifiable, But the thing is people that deal with it every day understand it, while other people may just think incontinence is something that is disgusting, or something that somebody deals with that unpleasant. of course incontinence can be unprecedented especially the fecal end of it, but as long as you have control of it, and you know how to handle it, you don't freak out when you have an accident, but you may end up thinking to yourself darn I had an accident at this location, and it was embarrassing, but I have to take care of it! the point is that incontinence is part of your life, whether it be urinary or Fecal. if you have acute incontinence, or moderate incontinence, then you use appropriate measures to deal with it, maybe the pull ups maybe the cloth underwear underwear whatever that they sell, If you have moderate or severe incontinence, you may have to pull up the heavy duty diapers ones that are based on you're dealing with. you don't want to be dealing with severe incontinence with something that is based to be used with small bouts of incontinence. you have to use the right tools, and sometimes the tools you use may have to change depending on the severity. Regardless of what you use to take care of the situation, whether you use medicine, whether you use preventative tools, or whether you accept it and do whatever you do, acceptance is one of the first things that you have to do. once you accept it, then you can move on with it, but it is not the end of the world as I keep telling people: tell me if you have a problem and you don't try to deal with it, the problem will still be there, what you need to do is be able to take it by the torns and say this is a problem, and I'm gonna take care of it, and it may be scary Or inconvenient, but Incontinence is a fact of life, and it can be very degrading to some people, because they might think that they have or had the control, and they're slowly losing it, and that is unfortunate, but there are plenty of tools to be able to deal with it. some people can't even control it, so they end up having to deal with it in different ways, but I am surprised because there are so many people that will just say no big deal Let's take it on and move on! if you have that type of an attitude, then you should be able to deal with it, you just need to have the right support system, and the right tools to be able to deal with it. once you have that, dealing with incontinence is easy to deal with, it's just about as easy as changing a diaper. Brian

I just realized that I had forgotten something in my management strategy and I might have mentioned it before, but I can't remember! When you're dealing with stuff that you take off, you end up taking your diaper off bagging it up and throwing it into your disposal Can. Every week or so you end up emptying this can and making sure you have a nice fresh bag and that it is all clean and smells good. In addition to that, when I take off a diaper, I regularly have a pair of trifectas, which is the North Shore brand of diaper cover. When I take a diaper cover off, many times I have gone through the diaper, and something has leaked on or into it, and it is designed to do this. I would take it off, and put it into another container. This container is a large bucket. I'm not talking about a huge bucket that is really tall, I'm talking about maybe a medium sized bucket that you would find paint in or something like that. Luckily, at most hardware stores you can buy the bucket and it isn't that big. What I do is I take a white garbage bag, And I put that into the bucket. When I do a diaper change, I take the diaper off, throw that in a disposal bag throw the disposal bag into the receptacle, and throw the wet Used trifectas into this bucket, which is holding a white trash bag. I then take the buckets top and put it over the bag closing it off which helps to maintain integrity so that it does not smell up the bathroom. once a week or so, after I get like say 10 or 15 of these into a bucket, I simply take them out of the bucket and throw them into a washer, and I do it on warm wash, and then I do it on delicate for drying. You to maintain integrity and hopefully your diaper covers will last longer They always say in the directions, that these diaper covers last about 50 to 75 washings. Change them again to get new ones I have enough to last me. I just change him out, but I don't want to change them until they start falling apart Or there is a definite reason reason to change them to brand new ones, as they cost about $24 apiece: they are well worth the money, And my strategy usually works the best, because that will allow me to know when it is time to take out diaper trash as well as when to do those in the laundry. I usually take in two sections I do the laundry first, get that started Then I come upstairs and grab the bucket And its entirety and bring it downstairs. I then take everything out of the bucket cover the bucket and then put it on top of the washer until it is done. When I come upstairs I open the bucket and spray it out, and if it is necessary I change the white bag. I have a clean set of white bags that are ready to receive the clean and dry ones so that I always keep two sets of clean ones around. Have clean ones available and I don't have to keep worrying about that. Anybody that is wearing diapers of any type should always invest in proper equipment to be able to deal with their incontinence. One of the things that I have learned is that diaper covers will help you as well as anything else that has been mentioned. Since I am not at cloth diaper person, that might be something that you would have to ask somebody that is familiar with when you're dealing with cloth diapers, but as far as I can tell my strategy works well. Definitely invest in a large bucket or a size bucket, to keep your while they are waiting to be laundered, And when you're done make sure that you cover it so that it does not smell up the bathroom. As people have taught me, if you're wearing diapers, you become immune to the smell, known as " Nose blindness" because you are used to your own smell, and somebody else might not be. So people can smell it in your house, so the best thing to do is try to keep the smell to a minimum, which is what I try to do. Brian

@Incont Thank you for checking the settings. when we talk about editing post that we're post that were prior to just a few minutes ago, when I did see that I could edit my own posts, all I could do was either share or report it. I'm sorry if I'm picking up Gremlins and reporting them and then finding out that they are not as bad as they are, but it just seems like it's weird a little bit And I just and I just wanted to let you know what was going on. It appears now that I can now start a new post and I have the ability to edit it, but I'm not sure if I can edit post that I've already posted prior to when you when you checked it. Thanks! Brian

@Slomo i've also noticed one thing. in addition to the things that you're talking about, it's always a good thing to have: -- nitrelle Gloves, so when you have to put on topicals, you end up being able to put on a pair of gloves and be able to use the topicals or any of the gels or lotions, and keep that off of your fingers. once you're done you remove the from the bottom of your wrist and turn them inside out and throw them away. this way all of the topical stuff ointments and Whatnot are on the glove, and when you pull it off you actually throw that away. this will allow you to put the diaper on and not have to worry about what happens should you touch the tapes. If your fingers are not loaded with this gooey stuff or goopy stuff, you won't have to deal with your tapes not sticking. You can use your gloves to do anything that you need to apply any topicals or any ointments or whatever, but that way you can take off the gloves and throw them away and not have all that on your hands. Some of the things that you use when you're doing diaper changes can be quite sticky, or oily or whatever, so you don't want any of that touching your front panels your tapes or sometimes even the diaper itself, because the diaper can disintegrate if you if you use way too much inside the diaper. I have learned from experience that you want to keep your topicals on your gloves rather than all over your fingers of your hands. when I decided that I was going to use the gloves, it was one heck of a godsend. As far as everything else you posted, it's right on the money! all of those things are good Suggestions for managing incontinence or diaper changes, and one of the things that I would add is to make sure you have the proper type of disposal bags and disposal system so that you can quickly get rid of dirty diapers, and they won't smell up your bathroom or your house. Remember that most people that don't wear diapers can probably automatically automatically tell when they're in a house when someone wears diapers because of the smell. people who wear diapers usually become nose blind which means we don't realize there is a smell, because we're so used to the environment But other people would. Very good tricks very good advice! Brian

@Incont I just noticed that we need another feature turned on. when you end up editing a post, you go up and click on the three dots. all we have is a report option and a share option, and no ability to edit our own posts. I don't know if this is something that is set up in the ranking system or if it's something you turn on like you have for DD so we can edit our own posts, about that So that is another thing you can add to your list Thanks! Brian

@John Davis The easiest way to do that would be to either send him a message on daily diapers, asking him to join incont.org, or maybe if I make a call to North Shore headquarters, I can leave a message with one of his staff, and tell them about this site so he can join this one as well. I know that Mr Greenberg has been very helpful to many people on DD, and I think if he were to join this site as well, he would be able to monitor both And if there are any questions or any concerns about products he would be able to answer questions that are Going to arise. Brian

@John Davis Neither am I, nor am I ashamed of wearing diapers, or anything that I'm dealing with. part of the problem that I had was that I was having so much stress that I was dealing with that it was driving me crazy, and since there is a lot of correlation between stress and being able to regress, one of the best things to do is to remove as much stress as you can from your life. when I turned 50, all of my stress seem to be increasing, and it was getting to the point where I just wanted to throw it all away, and go to some place that's warm and comfortable and not somewhere where I have to worry about every little possible thing that happened in the world around us. the world around us is full of craziness that we don't need to deal with, full of people that don't like to tell us the truth, or they manipulate things, or they do whatever they do, in a way to serve their own interest, rather than to deal with problems of the world. I just got sick of having everybody come down on me like 100 pounds of leather, and in their attempt to try to help me, they make it worse because they make me feel like something is definitely wrong with me And I am going to somehow expire. When you have that much stress on your mind and you're not sure exactly how to handle it, the best way to do it is to realize that your health can be affected. For many years, I haven't been able to sleep very well at night, because I'm constantly getting up in the middle of the night using the bathroom and staying in there for at least an hour hour and a half every night, sometimes more than twice, sometimes I go into the bathroom for example at midnight and I don't come out until 1 AM, so therefore i'm wasting time sitting on the toilet worrying about whether I'm going to release rather than getting the sleep I need, then I end up getting up early in the morning and I'm half dead when I come back. when I found that this was happening, along with my incontinence, along with the stress, I knew that the proper way for me to handle my incondence was to deal with it with diapers, to deal with the stress and the lack of sleep, diapers help me because I don't have to be Superman and try to get to the bathroom all the time. It also helps if I have to release regardless of what I release, because I don't have to worry, and I get a better night's sleep. i'd rather have a wet diaper or a back of a wet shirt than have a sleepless night where I can't function, or I'm half out of it and I just don't have any energy. many times, I ended up thinking like the whole world doesn't understand, and I understand perfectly why I wanted to do what I did, why I needed to do what I did, and why it makes sense. I shouldn't have to worry that part of my body is going to not work the way it's supposed to when it needs to work, or worry that what I'm going to release would inconvenience me. having a diaper on helps me deal with the stress, and all of the feelings, and protects me from incontinence but also helps me with my confidence with my attention span and other things, 'cause I don't have to worry anymore about whether I diaper on are not, or whether I have to use the bathroom. Like you John, whenever I get a chance to get up in the morning, I take my diaper off and I make sure that I empty out completely. This may be that I use the bathroom for number 2 from time to time, but as much as I can if I know I'm going to go somewhere and I need to go #2, i'd rather have a release of #2 in the toilet rather than to have to do it in a diaper, because it's easier when you know you have to do a BM to do it in the toilet then it would be to do it in the diaper and then have to change the diaper twice. Most of the time, i'm very well aware of what happens, and I can deal with many situations, but having a diaper has really helped me because I don't have to worry anymore if I'm gonna use it, because I will use it. That incontinence is no picnic, and it's no bed of Roses, but we all know what we deal with, and we all try to help one another deal with situations as we move forward. When I went to diapers in 2020 full time, I realized that I don't have to feel ashamed worried scared or otherwise. I'm also not ashamed of my medical conditions or the fact that I wear a diaper, because wearing a diaper makes it easier for me to manage things, and I manage them well. I also don't have to worry if I need to go to the bathroom for some reason, and I don't have to run anywhere, I can just use the bathroom wherever I am, knowing that I have to change when it's necessary. I always look at it this way John, if you can take the disability by the the ring in the bull's nose and take control of it, it won't have you You have it. Sometimes your disability does things you might not be able to control, but I always think of it this way, I have a disability It does not have me, and it's not gonna stop me from being the man that I want to be, being the uncle that I want to be or the cousin or the son that I wanna be. I am very happy with my life, there are things that I wish I could change sometimes but other than that, I am very happy, and I'm very thankful for what I do have, and I'm very thankful for my diapers. there are many people out there that don't understand what incontinence means to the person who is incontinent. they also may not understand a reason for somebody wearing diapers, because they think that everyone may have the control that they think everybody does And so they don't need to, so people may decide to chastise someone for that! that is not that is not the right way to handle it, and we have people who are incontinent and have no control, or are they decide to use diapers for whatever reason, incontinence being the number one reason, but because someone uses a diaper does not make them any different than anybody else, it's just a way that they deal with it. and let me tell you, diapers are hell of a lot more comfortable sometimes than regular underwear, and where can you actually do all your business in a diaper and then get rid of it? You might not be able to do all your business in your underwear, because one hell of a mess is created, a diaper can at least contain that mess while you are cleaning yourself up! When I hear people say that they want to be in continent, I'm always telling them that it's not all it's cracked up to be, And you will have major changes that you will have to make to your life, and you will have times when you won't be able to control what happens or when it happens or where it happens. It can also be a pain in the neck when you are sick and you have to keep changing diapers because you are trying to get rid of something in your body, I think what they think is fun is maybe if they wet themselves or something, but let me tell you from experience and I've talked to many people that are incontinent, both ways, and it is not something that is somehow easier to deal with. When you're incontinent, you deal with it every day because you have to, You deal with it in a way you have to because that's the way it is: that's life And if and if you run into that situation you deal with it, and there are some people that think that being incontinent is cool, but it really isn't when you talk about medical conditions come we deal with it and we know how to deal with it, and I wouldn't trade my current situation for anything, because my incontinence allows me to wear the diapers, and allows me to have the diapers, as well as the feelings that are elicited are being dealt with by wearing diapers, and it makes me feel like I a safety net. Welcome @John Davis Brian

Because we are, we have to use diapers or other means to deal with it. for those that decide to use diapers, I ask the following question: what is your favorite diaper, and what color is your favorite color of diaper? the reason why I asked this question is because when dealing with incontinence, and you accept your need for diapers, What usually happened is you want to be able to spice up your wardrobe a little, so you're not constantly wearing a white clinical diaper, with no different colors. this can make your wardrobe choice a little mundane,. And predictable. I have tried every color of megamax available: I like the pink diaper the most, followed by the blue the black and the tie dye, with the white diaper being the last on the list. I figure if I have to wear diapers, I might as well Enjoy the fact that I can choose different colors And so far I have not been disappointed. My favorite diaper so far is the Mega Max, followed by the supreme, followed by the abena plastic backed ones. i'm glad that we have choices in the colors of our diapers sometimes, And I understand that there's also people who like the clinical white, and that's fine, I was just curious if there were people that liked other colors, and also what their favorite diaper was, because some companies have more colors and designs available than others, while others may be the AB type diapers versus the clinical ones, and sometimes diaper lovers choose some of these die these diapers because they want to jazz up their wardrobe, or they want to feel little or be will to go back to a time when they felt safe. Brian

I have been wearing diapers for approximately four years. during this time, I've tried a lot of different products, and many of them do not even hold a candle to what a true diaper, defined by me as a plastic backed padded apparatus with tapes. additionally, this device needs to be absorbent enough to be able to handle almost anything that is thrown at it. in my opinion, the North Shore Care megamax, as well as a good many of their products which I use, are integral and an essential part of my management strategy. north shore really knows what a diaper is. it is not something that you use when you dribble, it is not something that floods after you end up letting out letting out a little bit of urine. A diaper is something if done right, where a person who is severely incontinent like me can actually unload as much as you can without having it leak under the floor. i've learned strategies for example so that I don't flood when I use the diaper, but I end up pacing it so it doesn't overflow. many times people will just let it go and they can't stop, and as long as they can't stop they run the risk of actually flooding it out. I learned that with a cheap diapers, and realize that I needed the good ones. when I did some research, with the help of Vermont Medicaid, they told me that I needed to choose five brands of diapers that I wanted to use, and I chose the Mega Max and the North Shore Supreme as the two diapers that I liked. the Mega Max, I was told was for people who are severely incontinent and needed full protection both both. I also did some research by calling North Shore Care and asking them questions. from my experience Norshore cares Mega Max's are the best diapers around, because you don't have to worry if you have to use it right away, and it is built to absorb whatever you're keeping the smell and the leaking to a minimum. I've used the Mega Max when I had to use it, and in situations when I didn't have a choice, and every single time the megamax works well for me. I also used their North Shore Supreme diapers, And I find those to be my second favorite. Aid, they can accommodate what you need to release, they have the proper odor control, and they're made properly so that they don't fall apart. Many people don't understand what a real diaper should be, it should be a diaper that holds whatever you can release or whatever you have to release, rather than to be something that only lasts a couple of hours at maximum, when we all know that those diapers probably don't even last five minutes sometimes. they always say that you need to change a resident Every two hours, but the products they use aren't even worth $0.02, And that's where insurance companies make their money cause they end up peddling things that don't work. I can tell you that North Shore Mega Max is and North Shore Supreme Diapers are my top two diapers, And I would use them if necessary and I wouldn't even hesitate. They know how to make a diaper and they know what the community needs. we need more companies that understand the needs of their, rather than the needs of insurance companies who always seem to be able to make the most money from our necessity of being able to deal with incontinence in an appropriate manner. I have also ordered the Garywear diaper covers and the trifecta diaper covers that are made by North Shore. these garments are awesome, they help contain whatever you are holding, and they're quite comfortable and you don't even really know that you're wearing them If you pull them up tight enough so that they cover your entire diaper. The lead gathers are big enough and haven't enough stretch to be able to allow for the area to be sealed so that you don't leak all over the place, but as any diaper, if they can't handle it, the pants usually take care of what releases from the diaper you. you also have to make sure that your diaper cover seals up completely so that you don't have any weird and unnecessary weakening. i've had no problems with either of these, and I believe that I have enough to lash me at least two years! I also use the North Shore disposal bags: these replace a product that North Shore was actually having to purchase. They make these, and the ones that they make are dark blue, And they also have a pretty pleasing scent. you can place a diaper in this bag, along with any wipes or anything that you have to eliminate, tie it off and throw it into a container or take it out with you. when I'm at home, I throw that into my jenibel can, because it has the can liners. These have been awesome because you can OK so that it doesn't smell as bad as it as it could if you didn't take care of it right One final thing that I use from North Shore is there large wipes! these things are 12 by 9 I believe, And they put every single adult washcloth that is made to shame common because it's big enough to be able to handle a messy situation, and big enough so that you can hold on to the entire wipe on the backside without any issues. They also can catch anything that is in need of being cleaned or being held, so you can clean up very easily. being quilted they can do that very very easily. I know some people may say to me that I'm a fan boy of a north shore Product, but these work well for me, and they haven't let me down, and the customer service and the people that work there are top notch, as well as the owner Mr Adam Greenberg. he really understands what it is that people need and understands that a diaper is not something that should be built to last two hours or less, but to be comfortable and help someone remain mobile happy dry and confident as well as having their dignity and their privacy maintained. the better the diaper, the better the reaction for the patient or for the user. So as far as Megamax's in North Shore products go, I am very satisfied with them. I give them all an A Plus, because of the products themselves, the customer service, the speed of their shipment, and the willingness to help you when you run into a situation that you need help with, And I'm also very proud of the fact that my supplier in New Hampshire can deal with them quite easily, and if there was any problem with an order, that could be dealt with through North Shore rather than dealing with a third party like Amazon. North Shore really knows what they are doing, and I am very happy with everything that I have used, I also use their boosters which is I have found very very helpful and needed, because you never know when you might have to use them when you are doing you are doing something long term and unable to change right away. Brian

@Mark Nice to meet you! I know exactly what having IBS, and diarrhea feel like! one of the most painful things is the pain that you have to go through, and it is not easy to deal with: most times you can easily release And have little to no pain, which means the go is easy, and other times the release is hard and you cannot release at all, and everything hurts. I think that's what I was dealing with in 2018 and 19 before I went full time to diapers in 20. I also ended up having a situation where I almost wet myself a few times, and I also noticed that there were times that I wouldn't even be able to do anything about it. For example I'd be sitting in my chair, and I'd feel something that Normally doesn't have a problem with me but I realized that I had messed myself a few times, and most times I would have that happen while just sitting here in the chair. normally you feel something before you have to release, and your signal to your brain says OK you have a problem, let's go to the bathroom! Then the next thing you know, before I even start to put my hands on my arm rests to rise from the chair, i've already done the damage and I've made a mess! after dealing with several situations in 18 and 19 with wetting and messing myself, as well as having a few accidents in my bed, then I had to do something. I BS and diverticulitis were the two things that I had already been partially diagnosed with, so those were the two things that I was trying to take care of. add to that that I was constantly having accidents and unable to get any sleep at night because I was constantly in the bathroom, and that is another reason for wearing diapers. if you can't get enough sleep at night, then you can't do anything substantive during the day without being extremely laggy tired and feeling like you're a dead battery. I am very fortunate that I have a very good medical team as well as a very good support team. I have an awesome case manager that responds to every concern that I've ever had, and helps me to deal with situations. during the pandemic for example, somebody drop the ball with my prior authorization for my incontinence supplies my diapers my pads and my boosters for example, and it took them seven months to be able to put that back into force, and I had to continually call medicaid to be able to determine where this authorization was, and they kept telling me to call the doctor, And that was just a constant ring around ring around and a runaround, because all I was doing was calling the doctor every three days. I later found out my doctor was sending in the paperwork, but something was worked out where my supplier does that, And she knows when it's time to do it, So now I don't even have to ask about it. I also had to get additional supplies, which Medicaid would not pay for, but my case management team helps me to get, so that I can live the best life possible. as I keep telling people, incondence is nothing to fear, and if you have to deal with it, you should embrace it and realize that it is a part of what and who you are, and it's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be ashamed of. the only thing that really sucks is when you release and you can't get to the bathroom fast enough and you have to change in a unfamiliar or very uncomfortable place. when you learn about your incontinence and how your body reacts, you can make changes to the way you deal with your bathroom habits, so that you don't run into situations that would put you at a negative situation, but many times you don't have the ability to nor the time to decide when things are gonna happen where they're gonna happen or why they happen, you just don't have any control, and being totally incontinent that's the way I am. Instead of worrying about it and having sleepless nights, diapers were my answer. my incontinence is full on, and I'm glad For example for last night, I didn't even realize I was doing it, and I was just wetting my pants three or four times flooded the diaper out, and when I took it off I was glad I had it on, even when I was about ready to change, I ended up having to use it again, so I went into the shower bay to avoid having to clean up urine off the floor of the bathroom where I can go into the shower bay, and then it doesn't matter what I do in there, cause I can clean it up. All I can say is I'm glad that I made the decision and I did back in 2020! after what happened last night, I am continually reminded why I made the decision I made, and why I'm wearing diapers 24/7. it's time for me to decide to live my life to the fullest extent possible, and not to allow my incontinence to dictate what goes on. sure, you would have to use use the bathroom, and you'll have to change the diaper, because that's part of it, but I refuse to remain a prisoner to my incontinence not being able to do anything because I'm afraid of it. and condenses the least of my worries, and the least worrisome of my conditions, because I know how to handle most other things, and I have a darn good medical medical staff to help me. Have a great day! Brian

@Incont Since this is the form that we would discuss our symptoms and our diagnosis, I figured I would place something here so people know what I deal with. Please note that because we do not have very many members yet, I'm not going to hit the mentions for every person, but they will see the posting here when they enter the Forum, so I shouldn't have to worry about that. once we have a lot more members, then we can start using mentions to be able to allow them to see that in their notifications panel ~Brian~ I will say that I have many diagnosis, but that is because I have cerebral palsy, and there's a myriad of other things that can crop up because you are dealing with it. One of the things that I was dealing with in 2018 and 19 was having accidents all the time, or not being able to get to the bathroom fast enough in like summer of 2019, where I would feel it and I wouldn't be even able to get up to be able to respond, or I wouldn't even know that I was doing it until it was it was too late. When this started happening, I knew that I had to have some help, so that's when I started as a member of Daily Diapers, I knew that this is where I needed to be, because I needed to help and the support because I'm thinking to myself how is I going to handle it? so my primary diagnosis is cerebral palsy, known as CP: it is a neurological condition and not a disease. CP can affect your muscles your bones your tendons and other parts of your body as well as your brain and other functions. there are there are many different types of CP, but each diagnosis of CP is different and unique to the person who has it, and it is caused due to something happening like maybe at birth when the cord gets wrapped around someone's neck, or there might be something that is caused in the womb And then you're born with CP I'm not sure exactly how that works, but there are many different types of CP, many different severities, and it is dependent on the individual who has it. As such, I have many sub diagnosis that have been showing up showing up over the years. here in this form, we will be dealing with incontinence, and it's tied to CP. My primary diagnosis based on incontinence are: "Cerebral Palsy" " Continuous leakage of urine" "Fecal and continents with fecal urgency" I have also been diagnosed with diverticulitis and IBS. these conditions combined with CP can cause many problems. That I was continent for as long as I was from about the age of two until the age of 46. once I started having accidents and having problems where I did not have any idea what was going on and I'm able to respond fast enough, I knew that I was in need of help, so my first stop was daily diapers. I chose this site because the people on it are very knowledgeable and know how they deal with certain situation, how to deal with the conditions, how to deal with the semantics of having incontinence, making sure you have the right equipment and supplies, and the most important thing is the support of a loving community that doesn't judge based on the fact that someone is dealing with I made the choice in 2020 to go full time in diapers. This is because of all the Times that I would have accidents, Or when I didn't know what was gonna happen and when. as I started my journey, I went to the doctor and asked him for my help, got the diapers I needed, and I called my case management team to tell them that I needed some help, and to open the floodgates. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to get whatever I needed to make myself able to handle the physical aspects of dealing with incontinence the changing of the diapers making sure your clean making sure that you're not dealing with rashes and other problems, because as you're dealing with incontinence you have to make sure that your extra clean and other things that normally someone that just takes a shower for example would take for granted. Once I went to the testing phase of every single cloth backed ridiculous diaper that they supposedly make, I was able to finally get the Megamax. I basically had to tell Medicaid that I was dealing with severe incontinence both ways, and I asked for the diagnosis to be added, because I wasn't gonna deal with having accidents and not have a way to deal with it period Of course they wanted me to be tested, and all this, And I just basically said that I had CP already, and it is widely known CP do deal with incontinence issues depending on the situation, and I am dealing with such an issue, and I am the expert and so is the doctor, so they know what I need, so there's no need for me to go to urologist to be tested. once the doctor gave me the proper diagnosis and the paperwork to back it up, I was able to get the Mega Max's within 10 days, or at least they said 10 days and I think it was like 3. I think somebody kicked it up to the top, after I had done my homework and listed my top five diapers that I wanted, as asked, and the first one was the Mega Max and that was what they approved period Now that I've proven that I need them, I don't have to prove anything else and I can continue to use those diapers because they work for me. I also think that having cerebral palsy, and using a wheelchair for as long as I have, may have contributed to it, because I was constantly being pulled in and out of rehab centers to help me with extended therapy. As normal, they want you to be mobile and be able to do a lot of different things And that's why the urine therapy, But I feel as when I went in there I was making a huge backstep, they had me using my wheelchair all the time, and by the time a week passed I was probably ready for a diaper, because I couldn't hold anything at night, because no one would take me to the bathroom. Then this starts with a whole bunch of people telling me that would be easier for them if I wore a diaper, And then I was in diapers, and sometimes I would be given heck and sometimes it would be OK. Whatever happened, I was constantly worrying about what was happening to me as some of these people were really nasty and did nasty things. Because of me being in diapers 24/7 for almost actually it's eight weeks the first time and 2nd time it was for six weeks, I was basically in diapers for 14 solid weeks. This made it harder for me to be able to retrain and I knew and I knew my parents were going to be angry, but I just told them that that's what they did, and then they were fine with it, but there were other things that were traumatic. i'll spare that here But to say that incontinence fun, is NOT true for many, but when you were when you were totally incontinent and you have no choice because you don't have any control, you figure out ways to handle it. I don't know if my CP makes my incontinence worse because of the fact that things are changing in my body and my ability to be mobile is changing as well, but when I end up having accidents and I'm not sure what is going on or when it's happening, I'm always happy to have a diaper on, And because of that, I don't have to worry anymore, and I can live my life to the highest standard possible. So I think the reason why I'm incontinent as well as a diaper lover, is because of the fact that I was in rehab for 14 weeks straight, And the fact that I always like the feeling and the smells that diapers illicit. Many people would say that wearing diapers is a chore, but in my case it can be annoying, because you constantly have to be on the alert to be able to change, and sometimes things happen in places in situations that you wish it didn't, but when you don't have a choice, then you have to be able to make appropriate choices whether with your clothing, your equipment, your supplies, the way you handle your bathroom management, maybe medicine management, and being able to quickly realize when you should change, because you don't want to be hanging around in a dirty diaper for too long, for that causes skin breakdown and wicked diaper rush, i've dealt with that and it's no fun. I'm just so glad that there are people that accept that there are people that are incontinent! many times people would say that we were "lazy" Or other words that describe the situation where we wear diapers to handle our incontinence. Incontinence is nothing to fear, and incontinence in my mind is the least of my medical conditions that I have to worry about. I can deal with my incontinence, and I choose to deal with it using diapers, it also helps with my feelings and all of the urges that I deal with period Since wearing diapers is not a problem, wearing diapers helps me deal with those things, and makes me feel safe And my stress level has been brought down to zero or pretty close. I'd rather wear diapers for the rest of my life than have consonant worrying about things that I can't control: And in my case, incontinence is something I can't control, So the best thing I can do is to accept it, And accept that I need diapers, and accept that there's no shame in wearing them and there's no reason to feel guilty said or any of those types of because a diaper is there for a reason, here we can discuss that, and we deal with things that cause incontinence or other conditions. my CP in my mind is the main condition, while incontinence and the others listed on my medical profile are subconditions or problems that arise because of my age and because of my CP. I would definitely interested to hear others diagnosis and be able to determine how they deal with their incontinence or their symptoms and diagnosis. the one thing that's a real pain in the neck is my IBS or my diverticulitis because sometimes that can really come up on me and really cause me problems. i'm glad that there are people who do then continents other than myself, and I know I'm not alone, and that I have good friends that help me to realize that there's no shame in wearing diapers are using them or needing them. It's just a fact of life that you deal with. Brian

Good evening! I have been making minor changes to my profile so that I can differentiate it between my other profile on daily diapers! to make that happen, I chose a different picture for my avatar as well as my cover photo. i've also activated the status option, so that I can post statuses over here as well. I have been realizing however that it seems the font over here is very very small compared to that on daily diapers, and I'm not sure if that is because it needs to be adjusted, or if it's just that that is the font that is currently installed. it would be really cool to be able to have it just a little bit bigger so that it's easier to read so that I don't have to squint when I'm reading posts! Thank you for recreating and restarting this community! I have a good feeling that it will be an awesome thing and we will be able to be helpful to one another, and be able to discuss things so that we can learn how we deal with it, But I also like the idea that we can have some fun as well. Please feel free to send me a private message or status and to follow me should you wish! Brian

Because this forum is specifically discuss incontinence and the ways we live with it deal with it, treat it, use differing products, Or just to support one another, I am posting my journey to incontinence here. i've been disabled all my life and I was trained early, I ended up spending a lot of time in pediatric rehab centers, which probably made my incontinence worse, because, because they expected us to wear diapers and use them rather than to use the bathroom. the story below chronicles my journey to incontinence, and how I was able to accept it. One of the things that I always tell people is that incontinence is nothing to fear, it should be embraced and dealt with in an appropriate manner that makes sense to you. in these forms, we won't have to worry about desires, or ways to become incontinent, we will deal with how you deal with it. As such, I have removed some of the some of the information from the original posting this came from from daily diapers, as it does not have any reason to be there. This is just the story of how I became incontinent, And my struggles as a young kid and a young man as I grew up, and always had the feelings and the desires and everything else, And then when incontinence hit me at 46, then I was able to use diapers to be able to deal with it. People ask me what it's like to be incontinent: Incontinence is basically the inability to control your bladder or bowels, and it can be can be in varying levels of severity. for me, being incontinent is similar to what would happen if you had a 2 year old that was potty training and still wearing diapers, and then the kid is loaded up with a lot of liquid, and eventually the kid the kid can't hold it, and will explode and fill the diaper! That is the way it feels to me, once it starts I can't stop it until I empty all the way out, and people wonder how that is. For me, being incontinent is something that I embrace because I feel the need to be able to deal with it that way. in addition to being incontinent, diapers help me and many other ways to keep my sanity my security and Also protect me from having accidents and also from crazy things on the outside. Incontinence is not a game, And when people tell me that they want to become incontinent, and they want to find out how to do it, I always have to tell people that once you get ready, and make the decision to go 24/7 in diapers, that means 24/7 365 days a year, no stops no brakes, And it also means that you need to be able to change your lifestyle to make the appropriate changes so that you can accommodate wearing diapers. it is not all fun and games or all roses, it can stink and it can be a pain in the neck, that deal with incontinence on a daily basis have learned to deal with those particular issues, and we know what it is like to be incontinent,, and we know that it can be a pain, and it can be a drag sometimes, and people make decisions on how they want to handle it. the main thing is that there are times when not having the ability to control your bladder or bowels can be a detriment, but you always try to find a positive within a negative. It is my hope that this community can be an extension of things that we know about incontinence and how to deal with it. since we are dealing with a medical condition here, there are many things that we can do to help each other as we end up going through our journey. being a support system is very helpful and very important because there are going to be people who are going to run into the problem of incontinence, and they may be scared and they may not know where to go or how to deal with it, or how to even bring it up. it's my hope that this particular board can help those people that are dealing with incontinence to find strategies to be able to deal with it all the way around. CHILDHOOD ( 1-8 ish) I guess you could say that my journey began when I was a young child. From the time I was about one until the time I was eight, my mom took care of two children. Myself, always three years younger than my brother Richard. Richard was severely disabled as a result of an automobile accident. As a result Of this, he was Non-mobile, nonverbal, and had to be taken care of like a baby. My mom, taking care of me and Richard, what’s the change and inordinate amount of diapers, because from the time that I was a young baby until I got out of diapers, that was one thing she dealt with, and then of course my brother wore diapers from the time he was born until 1979, when he tragically died as a result of aspirating on his uvula I believe. We moved from our first house in the country when I was approximately four years old. After this happened, my brother started going to an impatient facility that was designed to help him, and he took care of him in this facility from The time I was four until the time he died at 10 years old. Throughout this whole entire time, my mom would still be changing his diapers, when he would come home for the weekend, and still have supplies around to take care of him. On a couple or more occasions, I would sneak his diapers, and then try to put them on, and I found that they felt good, and made me feel good. Throughout my young childhood, this was something that I always will remember, and thought to myself “something isn’t right here, I like this“. One time, my mom caught me wearing one of my brothers diapers, are trying to put one on. I told my mom the truth that it felt good, and she said “did you like it“, and then I said yes I did. She then told me that that wasn’t a good idea, took the diaper away, and that was the end of that. Throughout the rest of my childhood from about nine until I was about 15, I would still have urges like this, but I was able to control them. Even when I had my younger brothers that were in diapers I would be able to control these urges, and I kept on thinking to myself “this is wrong, but I don’t understand why I feel good“. PEDIATRIC REHAB STINTS: Long term diapering begins, And the real horrors begin Between those times when I was about six years old, I spent two stints, in pediatric rehab 75 miles away from my home in Barre Vermont. They sent me there because they wanted me to be able to have full-time therapy, and be able to have it every day, and have it be continuous for a longer period of time, thinking that it would help me get stronger. In order to get me to go there, one of the representatives of this place, called the Vermont achievement Center in Rutland Vermont, told me that I would be able to swim every day, and made it sound like Club Med, where I could get personalized attention, and be able to swim every day play basketball, have fun with kids my own age, and deal With what I deal with as my disability, while meeting others that have disabilities of varying severity, and I would be able to make friends and help them. Of course, the fantasy was nowhere near like the reality of what I dealt with. They took good care of me, they made sure I had my therapy, and they helped me in school. The downside was that I was taken out of my local school, and I was schooled 75 miles away from my classmates, my friends, my community, and I was out of the water, and I didn’t know where the hell I was. I was told what to do, I was ordered to do things, and then they ended up getting mean when we didn’t want to do something. On several occasions, they were making food that I could not stand, that I did not eat normally, and I was force-fed things that would make me sick. I didn’t like runny eggs, I didn’t like fried eggs, and there’s certain foods that would make me sick. However, they insisted. If being disabled wasn’t bad enough, being six years old wasn’t bad enough, these people sometimes had no compassion, and they would deal with you like a bratty two-year-old who says no, and then screams bloody murder: they would decide to take me, built me into my own manual wheelchair, put my support tray on, and then make it impossible for me to escape, and then they would force-feed me whatever I would not eat. When I got sick, they just got mad and the next day they would do the same thing. I had to call my father on a few occasions to get these guys to stop doing this, and they were even threatening me with retaliation if I didn’t “shut up and do as they said“ and by retaliation, I meant that they would find what I was afraid of, and use that against me. They found out what exactly I was afraid Of, and then they turned around and use it against me. I was deathly afraid of the fire alarm: the sound just scared the hell out of me, not only because I was afraid of the fire, but the fact that the fire alarm rings indicates that we must leave the building, so I was scared to death in the first place that I would probably burn up in the building, so they would use that particular fear against me to shut me up or make me comply. Not only that, but they would use the old “you have to do this“ and “you need to do this“ reasons, so I would not have a choice when they would tell me that I needed to do something or they wanted me to do something. Technically, it was them who wanted me to do something, but I didn’t need to do it, but they didn’t ask me, they would basically give me 30 seconds to a minute to comply, and then outcomes all of the gorillas trying to force you into doing it. One day when I refused to eat whatever they were serving, And after I had requested specific meals be given me, that I would eat every single time without giving them any problem, these idiots I believe tried to use a high chair to hold me, and then they would try to force feed me what they wanted me to eat. They would make fun of me because I didn’t want to eat it, and they would keep shoveling it in – after I vehemently opposed this treatment, and reported it to A supervisor, they got sick of me, and asked me to leave the room. When I tried to leave on my own power, the assholes wound me up took me to one end of the hallway and told me “if you don’t want to do as you’re told and you don’t want to eat, go to your room now”! And then they pushed me as hard as they could. I sail down the hallway and almost crashed head-on into several metal chairs, a glass table, and Bank of windows. Once I was able to regain control of my wheelchair which was flying out of control, and I ripped skin off of my hands trying to stop this ridiculousness, I yelled “you assholes are fucking dead“ or something to that effect, and I slammed my door as hard as I could. Everybody comes running down the hall, and they start yelling at me, and start saying that I was “inappropriate“ and I shouldn’t of used that language. That I said “you guys didn’t listen to me when I told you I couldn’t eat the stuff, And you wouldn’t listen to me when I told you I was afraid of the stupid fire alarm, but you use that against me, you always tell me what to do, you’re always being mean to me, and I’m sick of it. I have choices around here and you will honor them.” I basically told them that I was not going to come out of my room unless until either my father is called and I can talk to him, or he comes down to see me, and we clean house and get rid of these ridiculous many idiots that don’t understand, or they capitulate to my demands which are very easy, and they deal with it. So, my father was called: these people were telling my father all the things I said: he said that I shouldn’t have said some of the words I said, but he asked “what are you doing to my son that he would be acting like this“ and when they told him some of the things that they were doing, they neglected to say what they had done to me by sticking me under a fire alarm, or pushing me down the hallway and incredibly fast speed and almost crashing me into stationary objects. They told him that I would not eat, and that they were force-feeding me, because they were worried about me.“. My dad was furious, and asked him “what the hell are you feeding him that he won’t eat it“ and I told him that they were feeding me eggs and a whole bunch of things that my dad knows that I wouldn’t eat because that is not the type of food I. My dad told them what I would eat, and that if they were to do that and provide me those particular foods, that I would be more understanding, and I would probably do what they said. I also told my dad that I had requested A shower, and a radio at night, because I’m bored, I’m home sick, and I wanna go home but these idiots won’t let me, and they keep treating me like trash.. Dad told me he understood, and had a discussion with these “idiots” and told them and no one certain terms that I was not to be treated this way, and that I was to be given choices. I told my dad that I would do everything that they asked me to do provided they spoke to me as if I was a lot older than they thought I was, and they gave me plenty of warning, and they let me know what they wanted me to do without yelling at me, scaring me, or giving up on me and just walking off in a half. Told my dad that this place is scary, and the people here are nice, but I’m scared to death that I’m not going to get some thing that I need, or they’re going to force me. Not only that, but then the worst thing happened, and because I was disabled, going into a rehab facility, they encouraged me to use my wheelchair 24 hours a day, when I’m not in therapy. This also meant that I could not go to the bathroom as often as I would normally, and I started having accidents both ways. Then came the THICK PAMPERS - and I was put into them quote because it would be easier for them and more comfortable for you“. In actuality, they did not want me to be getting out of bed, even though I could walk when I walked in there, and I could get into bed very easily and get out without hurting myself, and I showed an individual dish. They still frowned upon it, so for most of the time that I was in the rehab facility in both situations, I was wheelchair-bound, sometimes force-fed, Diapered, and they just did it because that was the easiest way to deal with me. To say the least, I was surprised that I did not have to be re-potty trained because what they do in a rehab facility for pediatrics is probably stick everyone in diapers, similar to what they would do for an elderly person who is in a nursing facility. and then I had to deal with school anxiety: I couldn’t get my work done, my teacher wasn’t around, and everybody was forcing me to do work that I didn’t understand. I finally had enough of this, and I said and no one certain terms “get my teacher down here right now, because I’m not doing any more work until I see him or at least five of my friends, because this to me is not fun, and I’m not learning anything“ I was so mad, because most of the time it is so hard to go through school and have to deal with a disability and have people who are trying to help you, but don’t really know how to help you or what to do to help you, and while I needed to go to the pediatric rehab centers, I needed to be able to see my teacher: I was 70 miles away, I wasn’t interacting with any of my friends, and I was missing my family which is making it almost as bad as if I was in “baby jail“ so for 14 weeks of my life, I was wheelchair-bound “diapered, force-fed, and basically treated like I didn’t have a brain and I was an invalid. During this time, I think that was part of the reason why I became a diaper lover, because that’s what I wore, and that was “acceptable“ because we were young kids and they didn’t want to take us to the bathroom. I even had my friend tell me horror stories of bad things that happened in there, and I’m glad that I got out when I did, but I still have trauma from that stay, but I guess The only thing that helped me through this entire episode, was the fact that my diapers never let me down, and certain individuals who took care of me, make sure that I was clean, dry, happy, and I was able to enjoy going outside. I remember one thing quite fondly because there was a playground that was at the other end of the facility, which was approximately four wings away from the therapy unit. Because this was a specialized unit for people that were disabled, they had all of the specialized equipment to take care of anybody from birth almost all the way up to adulthood. This was considered the “unit“ and it was residential. Anybody that needed long-term care was sent here, and was dealt with like you were in a hospital. There were good times there, but to me most of them were bad. Now, back to the thing I was talking about before, and that is that we found a playground at the other end of the facility. This playground with specialized in that allowed people that we’re totally disabled the ability to do things that kids that aren’t disabled could do. By this I mean, they can use the monkey bars, ride to Merry go round, or go on the swings, or other types of activities. because I was disabled, I cannot use a normal swing that is like either a swing seat or a wooden seat. When I was a kid, I had my own swing, and I would go with my dad outside, and he would put me in the swing, and be with me all the time, so it wouldn’t matter if I fell off because he would catch me. When you’re in a rehab facility like this, and you have people that are profoundly disabled, or maybe even just severely disabled, you try to find ways to allow kids to enjoy those type of activities. So, some genius came up with the idea that all kids should be able to use the swings colon to that end, they reinforced about five different swings on a swingset: what they would do is they would take regular car seats, that are used for babies, and they would make them big enough for people as all that is like 15 to be able to sit in, and they would be dealt it in like you would be if you were a baby in a car seat. You wouldn’t be going anywhere in a car, but when you are fully restrained in this seat, you are then able to be pushed by a person behind you that is in a standing position, and you are able to enjoy the swings without hurting yourself, or having you fall out. They set me up in one of these special swings, and I had Fun doing this, because I couldn’t go anywhere, I couldn’t fall out, and the only thing I had to make sure of was that I wasn’t sick. Because of the things that they were able to do at Vermont Achievement Center, I was able to enjoy some of the activities that my peers that were non-disabled were able to enjoy, and I always had fond memories of my brother, because he lived in the facility that was down the street. I kind of wish that we could’ve brought him to VAC, And set him up in a car seat like that, and allow him and I do actually enjoy swinging. Although, this did not happen because my brother died in April 1979, so he did not get to enjoy this. FAMILY PHILOSOPHY our family philosophy was easy: allow the kids to live the best life they can, and deal with it as it comes. My brother because of his disability wore diapers all of his life, and because most of the people that took care of me understood this, and my grandparents dealt with a disabled daughter, this was common place, and wearing diapers was no big deal. I can’t tell you the number of times that I had an accident, and they were just say “no problem Brian will take care of you“ and it was done, and there was no Bad feelings or anything like this. However, as I grew older, sometimes I would have their “feelings come back really strong“ and there was no real way for me to deal with it appropriately. A couple times I even stole some diapers so that I could attempt to do what I did when I was eight years old. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I knew for some reason I like them and that my feelings were always be there, but I didn’t know if it was OK to feel that way. QUESTIONING WHY I WAS FEELING THIS WAY so for years, I would suppress that feeling, and I wouldn’t allow my body to act on it. That changed somewhat when I turned 23, in 1995. When I moved out on my own, I would eventually be able to get baby diapers, and be able to “indulge“ in some of the things that I thought were taboo, or bad, or things that you don’t do. I don’t know why it felt so good, but every once in a while the drive was in surmountable, and I had to act on it. I’m not sure why diapers felt good, I don’t know why I felt guilty because I did that, but it was just something that was in my head. One day, I was searching the Internet and found other sites that dealt with infantilism, and what that meant, and found that adults wearing diapers was more common than I imagined. I knew that disabled wore them, and I knew that some adults wore them because they had no control, but I had no idea that they were anyone that would be considered a “adult baby“ or “a diaper lover“. During the search, I found this site, daily diapers, and I don’t know if that was when I was closer to 30, because I’m not even sure if it was around when it happened. I then found out that there were people that liked wearing diapers, and that it made them feel good, and that it was not uncommon. I also found the door people who like to dress up as girls, or like to be or pretend to be baby girls, and the whole list: I knew now that I was not “Weird“ or “strange“ or “broken“, but that something had been validated in my head, letting me know that I was not crazy. This started me on the journey that began when I was 23. From about 24 until 46, I would have these urges, and then be able to deal with them. Sometimes I would go down and I would get adult diapers, and before adult diapers were available in stores, I would eventually pick up a couple packages of baby diapers, and allow myself to indulge and take care of the “urges” that my current diapers help me to deal with today. I didn’t advertise that I felt this way, and I kept it under wraps, because I was Evelyn Dellcerro would tell me, They would think something was wrong with you and want to “send you away” I did not want this to happen, and I don’t know why I felt the way I did, but I tried my best to keep that at bay. I was successful, but I knew that having cerebral palsy, that eventually I may end up being in a position where I would need to use them again. STRUGGLES WITH INCONTINENCE AND FEELINGS Skip ahead to June 2019: for some reason, I had a flareup of IBS and a diagnosis of diverticulitis. This started as a severe, and very annoying case of diarrhea that was really runny. This means that I was running to the bathroom every few minutes, or I’d fill my pants. For some reason, my diverticulitis and my IBS were working overtime, and we’re causing me no end of trouble. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would be woken up at ungodly hours of the morning, For example say I have to go to the bathroom at say 9 PM. I go in there, and then I sit there for 15 minutes: I do my business, and then I walk back out, and then try to go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, I would be back up in the bathroom, and end up continuing what I started, and this would continue for a 15 minute intervals all night long, or until I was able to get rid of what was causing the issue. This would result in some mornings where I would get up at 11 PM, and then would not be able to get back in bed until one in the morning. I then would run into a situation where I would be sitting in my chair, and I would feel the need to go, and I would think I have to get up to go number two, and just as I said I have to… It would already happen, I would already have matched my pants, and I would not be able to complete transit from my recliner to the bathroom. This continue to happen 10 or 15 times in a row, and I just got sick of it and had to deal with it. And then, when that was over with, there were times when I would be sitting in bed, and I would have a tranquility ATN on. I would use it to go number one, and then when I’m done change the diaper. I would then end up having an accident in the diaper, or I wouldn’t be able to change it fast enough, and I would have a mess in my bed. At that point, I got sick of it, called my doctor, had an appointment made, and told him that I wanted him to prescribe me diapers, he praised me for having the courage and the guts to come to tell him that, prescribe me the prevail air diapers, which only used the cheapest stuff possible, and then after two weeks I ended up asking him for The best diapers available, which were the mega maxes, and that was granted, and the state agreed with me. FATE, AND MY DECISION TO USE DIAPERS TO DEAL WITH INCONTINENCE AND MY FEELINGS So in June 2019, all of these weird things culminated in me finally deciding that in August 2019, that I’ve had enough, and I asked him for diapers. After about two months of using the cheapest available, I was able to convince the state that I needed plastic bag diapers, telling them what they were giving me was not considered a “diaper” and that I will told them to go to rears.ca and other particular Adult diaper website to tell them and show them what the actual adult diaper was. Because this was not cutting it, and I was not dealing with this well. Not only that, but in August, I had my doctor physically write in my medical records my diagnoses, so that no one would be able to tell me that I was not incontinent both directions. This is similar to enthusi, did with his doctor. now, nobody messes with that: they understand that I’m incontinent, and even when I was dealing with my own feelings about whether I had made the right choice, I had a long discussion with my Quetion nature, and she told me that “there was nothing for me to worry about don’t worry about it, it’s common, it happens, you need them, you’ll get them“ this case manager that I’ve had is like a Florence Nightingale, like a angel in disguise, a lady that really understands what is going on, and can make things happen within her means. I couldn’t have done this without her, and I feel as if I am “complete now“. There were nights that I would wait like a week and worry about what the heck I was dealing with, or whether somebody was thinking I was crazy. In 2020, I made the final decision to go 24 seven, and that was because I was worrying about everything under the sun, and I needed to unwind, and re-prioritize what I need to worry about. Incontinence was not one thing that I would need to worry about, so long as I had the right stuff to deal with it. I was also dealing with extreme stress and I lost several of my friends, or I hadn’t seen my family for a long long long time. When I finally came to the realization that diapers were the right choice, I told my father and told him that I was having problems, and I asked what he thought of it, and he said “don’t worry about it bud if you need them, it’s understandable, and so your stepmother also agrees“ EPILOUGE: My Diapers are here to stay for the epilogue: I am still wearing diapers, and I believe that wearing them 24 hours a day seven days a week is the best thing for me. I don’t even worry anymore, because if I need to wet, or I need to mess, I have the ability to do it. It took me so long to get here, and it took me so long to understand what it is that I was trying to deal with, but I finally was able to accept it as part of what makes me myself. I got tired of wet Pants, beds, messy pants or beds, or just the fact that my body sometimes decides that it’s gonna happen whether I’m ready for it or not. It only took me a few shots, but now if I need to, I am not worried about messing myself, because the diaper is there for that reason, and each time that I have a flareup or a problem, I say “that’s why I have the diapers” and I’m so damn glad that I have them now. I am not sure what would’ve happened if I had not made that choice: I want to be safe, I want to be happy: and I am: it kinda reminds me of having an extreme shot of adrenaline, or some thing that makes me feel really really really good inside. Now, I could put myself in a diaper, or someone could help me, and I don’t feel guilty, are used to feel the guilt all the time, because I figured that there was something that was going on, and I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but I realized that I am wired the way I am, and there’s nothing that’s going to change that. As long as I do what I do and do it in appropriate manner, I have nothing to fear: I just got sick of having to hide what the true me was, and I had to work through it to determine what I actually felt, but now I feel as if I know what it is, and that is why I am here. Friends like you are easy to make, because you understand what it is that we go through, and because of your own journey it makes it easier for me to continue on my own. (Consolidated from @Beccathelittle's thread - Added April 22, 2022 @15:25 EDT) update on my training: I’ve been 24 seven ever since The beginning of 2020. There are times when I end up having a lot of wet accidents, and then there are times where I just have a few BM’s. Yesterday, I ate dinner and then I ended up having a blowout which I had to deal with, but I’m glad that I have the diaper, because that helps me immensely. You may have to clean it up, but at least having a diaper on keeps that stuff at bay. I don’t know if my stomach has been causing some of this issue, because every few minutes it makes funny noises, like it’s digesting something which is normal, but I still wonder sometimes if my stomach is screwed up because of something else. Last night it came so fast I couldn’t stop it and then it made me cramp up and then Force eject. i’ve noticed that most times my pee, feels like either it comes out slow and then moderate, and then other times it comes out real fast. What happens is as it starts to burn then it hurts quote then it just opens up and it feels like a river exploding in my pants. This is exactly what I want as far as being able to release, but I hope that if I have my bladder drain out that fast, hopefully I don’t flood the diaper out: I’ve done that before he he ? If I haven’t said it before I’ll say it again: diapers of save my life, and I love them a lot: when you can’t sleep some nights or you’re in pain, a diaper is like an angel because you can use it and then change it out. It’s pretty cool that I was able to do this, and that I was finally able to accept that I am incontinent and I am a diaper lover, so I just let it go. It feels good to release, especially if you are under stress because you can release all of the stress every Time you use the diaper, and that, in my opinion, is one of the best things, with everything you release, you feel better because you don’t have to worry. I am trying my best to do what I know to be right, and I’m hoping that I will be able to continue my training as well. There’s no reason for me to be running and hurting myself so I diaper is my choice, and I’m glad I did it! Congrats to those are who are continuing to train, and who have “graduated the training“ most times you have to deal with life, so your training time might be limited, but once you get past the training stage, and you accept it, then you are halfway home. I think I’m almost there at least, but I’m not quite sure. One thing I am quite sure of is that my diapers are my friend, and that is what I will use. As I said, I’m sick and tired of trying to run or trying to move real fast and then end up on the floor because of this. Diapers allow me to sleep andd deal with feelings and the incontinence, and it’s cool but I’m able to finally come to the realization the diapers and I are old friends, and I don’t want to give them up! Brian

@Incont My level of incontinence is complete and severe. One of the things that worried me was that I would end up having to deal with something that would really bother me. Now that I'm wearing diapers to control the problem and deal with it, it makes it a lot easier for me. I was having accidents anyway and I was making a mess, not only that but I wasn't even sleeping well at night, because I'd spend half the time in the bathroom on the toilet. diapers have given me the ability to not have to worry about such things, and I'm glad that I have made the decision to go to 24/7 diapers. I wouldn't trade it for the world, And every time I have an accident or a near miss, I always think to myself that I'm glad that I made the decision I did, And every time I have an accident like that, the diaper pays for itself, Part of the thing is you have to be able to accept what you're dealing with, and some people may not be able to accept it, but if you can, it makes it a lot easier. it also makes it easier if you have friends or family members that understand exactly what you're going through, And that can keep something that you want to keep under wraps secret from those that don't need to know about it. I wonder sometimes if diaper manufacturers will understand that we need we need quality diapers: far too often, we end up using products that probably aren't going to be able to handle our releases, And that's part of the problem. insurance companies and everyone else wants us to try all of the crappy stuff before we get to the good stuff, but very very few people are actually making tabbed diapers that actually work well. in my case, North Shores make it easier for me, because I don't have to worry about the diaper giving out when I need it the most. when you're incontinent, you have to know that your diaper is available to you, and sometimes you have to use it, and there's no way that you're going to be able to hold it, and there's no way that you're gonna be able to avoid having to do it. As I have said to many people incontinence means that you do not have the control that you need to control your bladder or your bowels! incontinence is not something that is in my mind terrible to deal with, as long as you are able to deal with it and have the right equipment to deal with it. once you have all of that, then it should be very easy to be able to give people advice and experience based on what happens when you're dealing with it. I am glad that there are people that understand what incontinence actually means, and also that they understand that it's something that we deal with, have to be able to accept it in order to move forward, but sometimes what you need is a good friend to be able to help you. daily diapers has helped me to deal with this particular issue others with the same issues. I will try to do that here as well, trying to help people that request it. I look at it this way incontinence is something that you deal with on a daily basis: it's something that you have no control over, so you shouldn't worry about it. sure you should have the right equipment and the right supplies to be able to deal with it, ensure that it's going to be inconvenient, and that's why I think some of the people don't understand. you have to be able to make changes to your lifestyle so that you can accommodate those changes. you end up giving up control of one thing or two things, but In my mind there's always a positive and a negative. For example, I wear diapers 24/7! if I have to use the diaper, I use it!, and I don't worry about it, because I'm going to do it anyway, so there's no big deal. I also realize that it's better to have dry pants or other clothing rather than wet ones, because your diaper takes care of that. the better the diaper, the better it can handle what you're releasing, and what I always say is the diaper that you use should be able to handle it, or it's not really a diaper, it's just a throwaway piece of bounty paper towels! I look forward to hearing from others that are incontinent to see how they would respond and how they deal with their situations. Brian

hello all! my name is Brian, and I have been incontinent on and off all of my life. it started getting worse when I was about 47 because I ended up having and problems with IBS and diverticulitis. Because I was having problems, I decided to wear diapers to take care of the problem. I'm 50 years old, I'm single, and I live in Vermont, in the central vermont area. I am also a member of daily diapers, and I have been since August 7th of 19. I'm glad to see that we have a place that we can discuss the issues of incontinence, because, because there are many times when you have or you want to ask questions, and you want to be able to do it without having somebody telling you that you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that. when you're in continent, you don't have the choice sometimes, and I decided that because I was having so much trouble, and I was disabled anyway, that it would be easier to wear diapers. Ever since then my stress level has gone down to 0, and I don't have to worry anymore! I also maintain websites, And I own my own server, and this is one thing that I do as a hobby and also to keep myself busy. If I keep myself busy, then I don't have to worry about much because Many people want to have a hobby that they enjoy, and I love my computers. people call me a techno nut But on top of that I am an uncle too many nieces and nephews, and I always try to set example either way. One thing about incontinence that I have learned is, that you will have to deal with it, And if you don't have the ability to control it, then you shouldn't worry about it, because that's just part of what is going on. we all have our medical conditions, and our reasoning for being here, I am happy that we have a place to discuss things like that. It is important that people who are incontinent have a place to hang out as well as to be able to ask the questions they want to ask, without the regular noise of other forums. Ohh by the way, my favorite diaper is the North Shore Mega Max, and that's what I use for my diapers, I use and have used every color they make, but my favorite color is pink, but I don't use a lot of whites, because they're just boring And part of the deal is once you're able to accept your need for diapers and your incontinence, part of what makes it easier to accept is to be able to have fun with it, and by that I mean you might you might as well enjoy what's going on by wearing diapers that are different there's, to match your lifestyle or your favorite colors. I can't thank North Shore enough because they are awesome when it comes to making these things for people who need them, because far too often there are many places that say they make diapers, but they're all pull ups and they're all tabbed underwear, and they don't even have half of the capacity that they should. that's why I went with plastic backed diapers because that's what I was wearing when I was a kid, and that is the only way that you will be able to manage incontinence in my opinion, because I am fully incontinent both directions and severely incontinent, And by that I mean I don't know when it will happen, but there have been times when things just happen And you release. Today for example, I went to work and worked a full shift from 9 AM to 3 PM. during that time I use my diaper several times I think I used it four times. And when I came home I had to use it again and again and again. then when I came back up from checking something in the basement, I just literally was releasing your at an incredible rate, And I think I flooded my diapers, which is something that normally does not happen, but I must have been thirsty or something because I couldn't control anything, and it was like somebody just giving me a water hose that constantly is running And I'm just constantly drinking and constantly releasing. I'm glad I have diapers now because if I need them I will have them, And I have good reason to use them, And because I have them I don't have to worry about what people will think people will say People will believe or anything like that. I joined this community and daily diapers community because I leave that the people there are awesome people, they understand exactly what people go through, many of them have gone through it, and know exactly what it is like to deal with it. I have learned from the experience that you should not worry about your incontinence, because that's just a part of life and it happens. I'm not afraid any more, and I don't have to hide the fact that I wear diapers or use them or need them, although I do admit that I like them. here on incont.org, we will probably discuss many things about incontinence and how we manage it and how we deal with it. I will also post my story in the appropriate form as well so people can see how I started. So I welcome all of you, and I look forward to seeing everyone as we continue to expand. Please feel free to message me or follow me if you wish either here or on daily diapers should you wish. Brian