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Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom. First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year. Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen. Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom. Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage. My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose. Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly. And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help. If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long. Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago. Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.

Slomo, great topic. You have summarized what took me years to learn via trial and error. Let's hope readers will appreciate the value of what you have written.👍 One thing I would like to add is the importance of a hand mirror for self-inspection of those hard-to-see diaper areas. This is to identify early skin irritation before it becomes an actual rash. I dry out every day after my shower by sitting on a cloth booster pad or on an open diaper. If I leak, I merely need to tape up the diaper. At every diaper change I clean up either with a damp washcloth or wipes. I then stand in front of a heater with a fan to dry out. For rash avoidance, Extra Virgin olive oil provides a nice light barrier that is easy to apply and remove. When I need more protection I use Desitin Daily Defense. If I feel that I am at risk of a bowel accident and will not be able to change soon thereafter, I choose a barrier cream with move Zinc Oxide. That will provide an effective barrier between the skin and stool but is more difficult to apply and remove. I completely shave my pubic hair and my genitals. Shaving the scrotum is a tedious business and any nick is sure to leave a bloody diaper afterward. --John

That's where I think and believe the stigma about diapers got started. It's that parents and society are telling kids the shame of wearing diapers and shaming them if they still wear diapers. I think it also hurts the kids if they are still kept in diapers and hurts them further into adulthood. It's why I am all for ending the shame and guilt about wearing diapers. I know some kids with medical conditions that have to wear diapers and why should we shame them. We should never shame anyone who has a medical need for diapers. I think making up a different words for diaper is a word game society plays or to hide the reality, guilt and shame for wearing a diaper. A diaper is a diaper no matter who wears it, whether it's an infant, child, teen, adult or elderly. No amount of word play is ever going to hide reality from people. At the end of the day, it's still a diaper no matter how much word play people use. It's why for me as an incontinent, I am not ashamed of wearing diapers to help manage and deal with my incontinence. What I am ashamed of is society not growing up and still using the old, outdated norms about diapers.

Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing. Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough. So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be. When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either. In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup. Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.

In some assisted living facilities and nursing homes the staff are actually forbidden to use the term "diaper" and, instead, must refer to it as a protective garment. --John