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Brian has "stolen" what I was about to post. We seem to be using almost identical products and have great respect for NorthShore Care. Is there any chance we can get NorthShore Adam to join our little group? --John

My bowel incontinence is total and I estimate that I have as much as 20 -30% bladder control, but only sometimes. Due to nerve damage from pelvic trauma, I shift back and forth unpredictably between voluntary and involuntary bladder control. As I am OAB and a heavy wetter, I wear premium diapers with a booster pad. Nowadays I get a good night's sleep as I void in the diaper and don't worry about it. I already was a sometimes bed wetter (I'n not sure how often anymore). It was impossible for me to get enough sleep if I got up, removed diaper layers, diapered back up, and went back to bed two or more times a night. My doctors agreed that sleep was the higher priority. As I indicated in another post, I manage my bowel incontinence with daily morning old-fashioned enemas.😱 After all, an empty colon cannot have a bowel accident. Over the years I have self-administered about 7,000 enemas. After I get "hosed,"🙄 I usually will not have a bowel accident until the following day, so I am relieved of that form of stress. My SCI rehab docs have approved of my procedures. I'll be glad to answer any questions about enemas as there is so much bad information out there on the Internet. I am not ashamed of being incontinent or of wearing diapers. I am not ashamed of my arthritis, so why should I be ashamed of my other medical conditions? My diapers have become my underwear. It's just private. I like to say "Be thankful for your diapers. Think how difficult life would be without them." --John

Because this forum is specifically discuss incontinence and the ways we live with it deal with it, treat it, use differing products, Or just to support one another, I am posting my journey to incontinence here. i've been disabled all my life and I was trained early, I ended up spending a lot of time in pediatric rehab centers, which probably made my incontinence worse, because, because they expected us to wear diapers and use them rather than to use the bathroom. the story below chronicles my journey to incontinence, and how I was able to accept it. One of the things that I always tell people is that incontinence is nothing to fear, it should be embraced and dealt with in an appropriate manner that makes sense to you. in these forms, we won't have to worry about desires, or ways to become incontinent, we will deal with how you deal with it. As such, I have removed some of the some of the information from the original posting this came from from daily diapers, as it does not have any reason to be there. This is just the story of how I became incontinent, And my struggles as a young kid and a young man as I grew up, and always had the feelings and the desires and everything else, And then when incontinence hit me at 46, then I was able to use diapers to be able to deal with it. People ask me what it's like to be incontinent: Incontinence is basically the inability to control your bladder or bowels, and it can be can be in varying levels of severity. for me, being incontinent is similar to what would happen if you had a 2 year old that was potty training and still wearing diapers, and then the kid is loaded up with a lot of liquid, and eventually the kid the kid can't hold it, and will explode and fill the diaper! That is the way it feels to me, once it starts I can't stop it until I empty all the way out, and people wonder how that is. For me, being incontinent is something that I embrace because I feel the need to be able to deal with it that way. in addition to being incontinent, diapers help me and many other ways to keep my sanity my security and Also protect me from having accidents and also from crazy things on the outside. Incontinence is not a game, And when people tell me that they want to become incontinent, and they want to find out how to do it, I always have to tell people that once you get ready, and make the decision to go 24/7 in diapers, that means 24/7 365 days a year, no stops no brakes, And it also means that you need to be able to change your lifestyle to make the appropriate changes so that you can accommodate wearing diapers. it is not all fun and games or all roses, it can stink and it can be a pain in the neck, that deal with incontinence on a daily basis have learned to deal with those particular issues, and we know what it is like to be incontinent,, and we know that it can be a pain, and it can be a drag sometimes, and people make decisions on how they want to handle it. the main thing is that there are times when not having the ability to control your bladder or bowels can be a detriment, but you always try to find a positive within a negative. It is my hope that this community can be an extension of things that we know about incontinence and how to deal with it. since we are dealing with a medical condition here, there are many things that we can do to help each other as we end up going through our journey. being a support system is very helpful and very important because there are going to be people who are going to run into the problem of incontinence, and they may be scared and they may not know where to go or how to deal with it, or how to even bring it up. it's my hope that this particular board can help those people that are dealing with incontinence to find strategies to be able to deal with it all the way around. CHILDHOOD ( 1-8 ish) I guess you could say that my journey began when I was a young child. From the time I was about one until the time I was eight, my mom took care of two children. Myself, always three years younger than my brother Richard. Richard was severely disabled as a result of an automobile accident. As a result Of this, he was Non-mobile, nonverbal, and had to be taken care of like a baby. My mom, taking care of me and Richard, what’s the change and inordinate amount of diapers, because from the time that I was a young baby until I got out of diapers, that was one thing she dealt with, and then of course my brother wore diapers from the time he was born until 1979, when he tragically died as a result of aspirating on his uvula I believe. We moved from our first house in the country when I was approximately four years old. After this happened, my brother started going to an impatient facility that was designed to help him, and he took care of him in this facility from The time I was four until the time he died at 10 years old. Throughout this whole entire time, my mom would still be changing his diapers, when he would come home for the weekend, and still have supplies around to take care of him. On a couple or more occasions, I would sneak his diapers, and then try to put them on, and I found that they felt good, and made me feel good. Throughout my young childhood, this was something that I always will remember, and thought to myself “something isn’t right here, I like this“. One time, my mom caught me wearing one of my brothers diapers, are trying to put one on. I told my mom the truth that it felt good, and she said “did you like it“, and then I said yes I did. She then told me that that wasn’t a good idea, took the diaper away, and that was the end of that. Throughout the rest of my childhood from about nine until I was about 15, I would still have urges like this, but I was able to control them. Even when I had my younger brothers that were in diapers I would be able to control these urges, and I kept on thinking to myself “this is wrong, but I don’t understand why I feel good“. PEDIATRIC REHAB STINTS: Long term diapering begins, And the real horrors begin Between those times when I was about six years old, I spent two stints, in pediatric rehab 75 miles away from my home in Barre Vermont. They sent me there because they wanted me to be able to have full-time therapy, and be able to have it every day, and have it be continuous for a longer period of time, thinking that it would help me get stronger. In order to get me to go there, one of the representatives of this place, called the Vermont achievement Center in Rutland Vermont, told me that I would be able to swim every day, and made it sound like Club Med, where I could get personalized attention, and be able to swim every day play basketball, have fun with kids my own age, and deal With what I deal with as my disability, while meeting others that have disabilities of varying severity, and I would be able to make friends and help them. Of course, the fantasy was nowhere near like the reality of what I dealt with. They took good care of me, they made sure I had my therapy, and they helped me in school. The downside was that I was taken out of my local school, and I was schooled 75 miles away from my classmates, my friends, my community, and I was out of the water, and I didn’t know where the hell I was. I was told what to do, I was ordered to do things, and then they ended up getting mean when we didn’t want to do something. On several occasions, they were making food that I could not stand, that I did not eat normally, and I was force-fed things that would make me sick. I didn’t like runny eggs, I didn’t like fried eggs, and there’s certain foods that would make me sick. However, they insisted. If being disabled wasn’t bad enough, being six years old wasn’t bad enough, these people sometimes had no compassion, and they would deal with you like a bratty two-year-old who says no, and then screams bloody murder: they would decide to take me, built me into my own manual wheelchair, put my support tray on, and then make it impossible for me to escape, and then they would force-feed me whatever I would not eat. When I got sick, they just got mad and the next day they would do the same thing. I had to call my father on a few occasions to get these guys to stop doing this, and they were even threatening me with retaliation if I didn’t “shut up and do as they said“ and by retaliation, I meant that they would find what I was afraid of, and use that against me. They found out what exactly I was afraid Of, and then they turned around and use it against me. I was deathly afraid of the fire alarm: the sound just scared the hell out of me, not only because I was afraid of the fire, but the fact that the fire alarm rings indicates that we must leave the building, so I was scared to death in the first place that I would probably burn up in the building, so they would use that particular fear against me to shut me up or make me comply. Not only that, but they would use the old “you have to do this“ and “you need to do this“ reasons, so I would not have a choice when they would tell me that I needed to do something or they wanted me to do something. Technically, it was them who wanted me to do something, but I didn’t need to do it, but they didn’t ask me, they would basically give me 30 seconds to a minute to comply, and then outcomes all of the gorillas trying to force you into doing it. One day when I refused to eat whatever they were serving, And after I had requested specific meals be given me, that I would eat every single time without giving them any problem, these idiots I believe tried to use a high chair to hold me, and then they would try to force feed me what they wanted me to eat. They would make fun of me because I didn’t want to eat it, and they would keep shoveling it in – after I vehemently opposed this treatment, and reported it to A supervisor, they got sick of me, and asked me to leave the room. When I tried to leave on my own power, the assholes wound me up took me to one end of the hallway and told me “if you don’t want to do as you’re told and you don’t want to eat, go to your room now”! And then they pushed me as hard as they could. I sail down the hallway and almost crashed head-on into several metal chairs, a glass table, and Bank of windows. Once I was able to regain control of my wheelchair which was flying out of control, and I ripped skin off of my hands trying to stop this ridiculousness, I yelled “you assholes are fucking dead“ or something to that effect, and I slammed my door as hard as I could. Everybody comes running down the hall, and they start yelling at me, and start saying that I was “inappropriate“ and I shouldn’t of used that language. That I said “you guys didn’t listen to me when I told you I couldn’t eat the stuff, And you wouldn’t listen to me when I told you I was afraid of the stupid fire alarm, but you use that against me, you always tell me what to do, you’re always being mean to me, and I’m sick of it. I have choices around here and you will honor them.” I basically told them that I was not going to come out of my room unless until either my father is called and I can talk to him, or he comes down to see me, and we clean house and get rid of these ridiculous many idiots that don’t understand, or they capitulate to my demands which are very easy, and they deal with it. So, my father was called: these people were telling my father all the things I said: he said that I shouldn’t have said some of the words I said, but he asked “what are you doing to my son that he would be acting like this“ and when they told him some of the things that they were doing, they neglected to say what they had done to me by sticking me under a fire alarm, or pushing me down the hallway and incredibly fast speed and almost crashing me into stationary objects. They told him that I would not eat, and that they were force-feeding me, because they were worried about me.“. My dad was furious, and asked him “what the hell are you feeding him that he won’t eat it“ and I told him that they were feeding me eggs and a whole bunch of things that my dad knows that I wouldn’t eat because that is not the type of food I. My dad told them what I would eat, and that if they were to do that and provide me those particular foods, that I would be more understanding, and I would probably do what they said. I also told my dad that I had requested A shower, and a radio at night, because I’m bored, I’m home sick, and I wanna go home but these idiots won’t let me, and they keep treating me like trash.. Dad told me he understood, and had a discussion with these “idiots” and told them and no one certain terms that I was not to be treated this way, and that I was to be given choices. I told my dad that I would do everything that they asked me to do provided they spoke to me as if I was a lot older than they thought I was, and they gave me plenty of warning, and they let me know what they wanted me to do without yelling at me, scaring me, or giving up on me and just walking off in a half. Told my dad that this place is scary, and the people here are nice, but I’m scared to death that I’m not going to get some thing that I need, or they’re going to force me. Not only that, but then the worst thing happened, and because I was disabled, going into a rehab facility, they encouraged me to use my wheelchair 24 hours a day, when I’m not in therapy. This also meant that I could not go to the bathroom as often as I would normally, and I started having accidents both ways. Then came the THICK PAMPERS - and I was put into them quote because it would be easier for them and more comfortable for you“. In actuality, they did not want me to be getting out of bed, even though I could walk when I walked in there, and I could get into bed very easily and get out without hurting myself, and I showed an individual dish. They still frowned upon it, so for most of the time that I was in the rehab facility in both situations, I was wheelchair-bound, sometimes force-fed, Diapered, and they just did it because that was the easiest way to deal with me. To say the least, I was surprised that I did not have to be re-potty trained because what they do in a rehab facility for pediatrics is probably stick everyone in diapers, similar to what they would do for an elderly person who is in a nursing facility. and then I had to deal with school anxiety: I couldn’t get my work done, my teacher wasn’t around, and everybody was forcing me to do work that I didn’t understand. I finally had enough of this, and I said and no one certain terms “get my teacher down here right now, because I’m not doing any more work until I see him or at least five of my friends, because this to me is not fun, and I’m not learning anything“ I was so mad, because most of the time it is so hard to go through school and have to deal with a disability and have people who are trying to help you, but don’t really know how to help you or what to do to help you, and while I needed to go to the pediatric rehab centers, I needed to be able to see my teacher: I was 70 miles away, I wasn’t interacting with any of my friends, and I was missing my family which is making it almost as bad as if I was in “baby jail“ so for 14 weeks of my life, I was wheelchair-bound “diapered, force-fed, and basically treated like I didn’t have a brain and I was an invalid. During this time, I think that was part of the reason why I became a diaper lover, because that’s what I wore, and that was “acceptable“ because we were young kids and they didn’t want to take us to the bathroom. I even had my friend tell me horror stories of bad things that happened in there, and I’m glad that I got out when I did, but I still have trauma from that stay, but I guess The only thing that helped me through this entire episode, was the fact that my diapers never let me down, and certain individuals who took care of me, make sure that I was clean, dry, happy, and I was able to enjoy going outside. I remember one thing quite fondly because there was a playground that was at the other end of the facility, which was approximately four wings away from the therapy unit. Because this was a specialized unit for people that were disabled, they had all of the specialized equipment to take care of anybody from birth almost all the way up to adulthood. This was considered the “unit“ and it was residential. Anybody that needed long-term care was sent here, and was dealt with like you were in a hospital. There were good times there, but to me most of them were bad. Now, back to the thing I was talking about before, and that is that we found a playground at the other end of the facility. This playground with specialized in that allowed people that we’re totally disabled the ability to do things that kids that aren’t disabled could do. By this I mean, they can use the monkey bars, ride to Merry go round, or go on the swings, or other types of activities. because I was disabled, I cannot use a normal swing that is like either a swing seat or a wooden seat. When I was a kid, I had my own swing, and I would go with my dad outside, and he would put me in the swing, and be with me all the time, so it wouldn’t matter if I fell off because he would catch me. When you’re in a rehab facility like this, and you have people that are profoundly disabled, or maybe even just severely disabled, you try to find ways to allow kids to enjoy those type of activities. So, some genius came up with the idea that all kids should be able to use the swings colon to that end, they reinforced about five different swings on a swingset: what they would do is they would take regular car seats, that are used for babies, and they would make them big enough for people as all that is like 15 to be able to sit in, and they would be dealt it in like you would be if you were a baby in a car seat. You wouldn’t be going anywhere in a car, but when you are fully restrained in this seat, you are then able to be pushed by a person behind you that is in a standing position, and you are able to enjoy the swings without hurting yourself, or having you fall out. They set me up in one of these special swings, and I had Fun doing this, because I couldn’t go anywhere, I couldn’t fall out, and the only thing I had to make sure of was that I wasn’t sick. Because of the things that they were able to do at Vermont Achievement Center, I was able to enjoy some of the activities that my peers that were non-disabled were able to enjoy, and I always had fond memories of my brother, because he lived in the facility that was down the street. I kind of wish that we could’ve brought him to VAC, And set him up in a car seat like that, and allow him and I do actually enjoy swinging. Although, this did not happen because my brother died in April 1979, so he did not get to enjoy this. FAMILY PHILOSOPHY our family philosophy was easy: allow the kids to live the best life they can, and deal with it as it comes. My brother because of his disability wore diapers all of his life, and because most of the people that took care of me understood this, and my grandparents dealt with a disabled daughter, this was common place, and wearing diapers was no big deal. I can’t tell you the number of times that I had an accident, and they were just say “no problem Brian will take care of you“ and it was done, and there was no Bad feelings or anything like this. However, as I grew older, sometimes I would have their “feelings come back really strong“ and there was no real way for me to deal with it appropriately. A couple times I even stole some diapers so that I could attempt to do what I did when I was eight years old. I don’t know why I felt that way, but I knew for some reason I like them and that my feelings were always be there, but I didn’t know if it was OK to feel that way. QUESTIONING WHY I WAS FEELING THIS WAY so for years, I would suppress that feeling, and I wouldn’t allow my body to act on it. That changed somewhat when I turned 23, in 1995. When I moved out on my own, I would eventually be able to get baby diapers, and be able to “indulge“ in some of the things that I thought were taboo, or bad, or things that you don’t do. I don’t know why it felt so good, but every once in a while the drive was in surmountable, and I had to act on it. I’m not sure why diapers felt good, I don’t know why I felt guilty because I did that, but it was just something that was in my head. One day, I was searching the Internet and found other sites that dealt with infantilism, and what that meant, and found that adults wearing diapers was more common than I imagined. I knew that disabled wore them, and I knew that some adults wore them because they had no control, but I had no idea that they were anyone that would be considered a “adult baby“ or “a diaper lover“. During the search, I found this site, daily diapers, and I don’t know if that was when I was closer to 30, because I’m not even sure if it was around when it happened. I then found out that there were people that liked wearing diapers, and that it made them feel good, and that it was not uncommon. I also found the door people who like to dress up as girls, or like to be or pretend to be baby girls, and the whole list: I knew now that I was not “Weird“ or “strange“ or “broken“, but that something had been validated in my head, letting me know that I was not crazy. This started me on the journey that began when I was 23. From about 24 until 46, I would have these urges, and then be able to deal with them. Sometimes I would go down and I would get adult diapers, and before adult diapers were available in stores, I would eventually pick up a couple packages of baby diapers, and allow myself to indulge and take care of the “urges” that my current diapers help me to deal with today. I didn’t advertise that I felt this way, and I kept it under wraps, because I was Evelyn Dellcerro would tell me, They would think something was wrong with you and want to “send you away” I did not want this to happen, and I don’t know why I felt the way I did, but I tried my best to keep that at bay. I was successful, but I knew that having cerebral palsy, that eventually I may end up being in a position where I would need to use them again. STRUGGLES WITH INCONTINENCE AND FEELINGS Skip ahead to June 2019: for some reason, I had a flareup of IBS and a diagnosis of diverticulitis. This started as a severe, and very annoying case of diarrhea that was really runny. This means that I was running to the bathroom every few minutes, or I’d fill my pants. For some reason, my diverticulitis and my IBS were working overtime, and we’re causing me no end of trouble. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would be woken up at ungodly hours of the morning, For example say I have to go to the bathroom at say 9 PM. I go in there, and then I sit there for 15 minutes: I do my business, and then I walk back out, and then try to go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, I would be back up in the bathroom, and end up continuing what I started, and this would continue for a 15 minute intervals all night long, or until I was able to get rid of what was causing the issue. This would result in some mornings where I would get up at 11 PM, and then would not be able to get back in bed until one in the morning. I then would run into a situation where I would be sitting in my chair, and I would feel the need to go, and I would think I have to get up to go number two, and just as I said I have to… It would already happen, I would already have matched my pants, and I would not be able to complete transit from my recliner to the bathroom. This continue to happen 10 or 15 times in a row, and I just got sick of it and had to deal with it. And then, when that was over with, there were times when I would be sitting in bed, and I would have a tranquility ATN on. I would use it to go number one, and then when I’m done change the diaper. I would then end up having an accident in the diaper, or I wouldn’t be able to change it fast enough, and I would have a mess in my bed. At that point, I got sick of it, called my doctor, had an appointment made, and told him that I wanted him to prescribe me diapers, he praised me for having the courage and the guts to come to tell him that, prescribe me the prevail air diapers, which only used the cheapest stuff possible, and then after two weeks I ended up asking him for The best diapers available, which were the mega maxes, and that was granted, and the state agreed with me. FATE, AND MY DECISION TO USE DIAPERS TO DEAL WITH INCONTINENCE AND MY FEELINGS So in June 2019, all of these weird things culminated in me finally deciding that in August 2019, that I’ve had enough, and I asked him for diapers. After about two months of using the cheapest available, I was able to convince the state that I needed plastic bag diapers, telling them what they were giving me was not considered a “diaper” and that I will told them to go to rears.ca and other particular Adult diaper website to tell them and show them what the actual adult diaper was. Because this was not cutting it, and I was not dealing with this well. Not only that, but in August, I had my doctor physically write in my medical records my diagnoses, so that no one would be able to tell me that I was not incontinent both directions. This is similar to enthusi, did with his doctor. now, nobody messes with that: they understand that I’m incontinent, and even when I was dealing with my own feelings about whether I had made the right choice, I had a long discussion with my Quetion nature, and she told me that “there was nothing for me to worry about don’t worry about it, it’s common, it happens, you need them, you’ll get them“ this case manager that I’ve had is like a Florence Nightingale, like a angel in disguise, a lady that really understands what is going on, and can make things happen within her means. I couldn’t have done this without her, and I feel as if I am “complete now“. There were nights that I would wait like a week and worry about what the heck I was dealing with, or whether somebody was thinking I was crazy. In 2020, I made the final decision to go 24 seven, and that was because I was worrying about everything under the sun, and I needed to unwind, and re-prioritize what I need to worry about. Incontinence was not one thing that I would need to worry about, so long as I had the right stuff to deal with it. I was also dealing with extreme stress and I lost several of my friends, or I hadn’t seen my family for a long long long time. When I finally came to the realization that diapers were the right choice, I told my father and told him that I was having problems, and I asked what he thought of it, and he said “don’t worry about it bud if you need them, it’s understandable, and so your stepmother also agrees“ EPILOUGE: My Diapers are here to stay for the epilogue: I am still wearing diapers, and I believe that wearing them 24 hours a day seven days a week is the best thing for me. I don’t even worry anymore, because if I need to wet, or I need to mess, I have the ability to do it. It took me so long to get here, and it took me so long to understand what it is that I was trying to deal with, but I finally was able to accept it as part of what makes me myself. I got tired of wet Pants, beds, messy pants or beds, or just the fact that my body sometimes decides that it’s gonna happen whether I’m ready for it or not. It only took me a few shots, but now if I need to, I am not worried about messing myself, because the diaper is there for that reason, and each time that I have a flareup or a problem, I say “that’s why I have the diapers” and I’m so damn glad that I have them now. I am not sure what would’ve happened if I had not made that choice: I want to be safe, I want to be happy: and I am: it kinda reminds me of having an extreme shot of adrenaline, or some thing that makes me feel really really really good inside. Now, I could put myself in a diaper, or someone could help me, and I don’t feel guilty, are used to feel the guilt all the time, because I figured that there was something that was going on, and I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but I realized that I am wired the way I am, and there’s nothing that’s going to change that. As long as I do what I do and do it in appropriate manner, I have nothing to fear: I just got sick of having to hide what the true me was, and I had to work through it to determine what I actually felt, but now I feel as if I know what it is, and that is why I am here. Friends like you are easy to make, because you understand what it is that we go through, and because of your own journey it makes it easier for me to continue on my own. (Consolidated from @Beccathelittle's thread - Added April 22, 2022 @15:25 EDT) update on my training: I’ve been 24 seven ever since The beginning of 2020. There are times when I end up having a lot of wet accidents, and then there are times where I just have a few BM’s. Yesterday, I ate dinner and then I ended up having a blowout which I had to deal with, but I’m glad that I have the diaper, because that helps me immensely. You may have to clean it up, but at least having a diaper on keeps that stuff at bay. I don’t know if my stomach has been causing some of this issue, because every few minutes it makes funny noises, like it’s digesting something which is normal, but I still wonder sometimes if my stomach is screwed up because of something else. Last night it came so fast I couldn’t stop it and then it made me cramp up and then Force eject. i’ve noticed that most times my pee, feels like either it comes out slow and then moderate, and then other times it comes out real fast. What happens is as it starts to burn then it hurts quote then it just opens up and it feels like a river exploding in my pants. This is exactly what I want as far as being able to release, but I hope that if I have my bladder drain out that fast, hopefully I don’t flood the diaper out: I’ve done that before he he ? If I haven’t said it before I’ll say it again: diapers of save my life, and I love them a lot: when you can’t sleep some nights or you’re in pain, a diaper is like an angel because you can use it and then change it out. It’s pretty cool that I was able to do this, and that I was finally able to accept that I am incontinent and I am a diaper lover, so I just let it go. It feels good to release, especially if you are under stress because you can release all of the stress every Time you use the diaper, and that, in my opinion, is one of the best things, with everything you release, you feel better because you don’t have to worry. I am trying my best to do what I know to be right, and I’m hoping that I will be able to continue my training as well. There’s no reason for me to be running and hurting myself so I diaper is my choice, and I’m glad I did it! Congrats to those are who are continuing to train, and who have “graduated the training“ most times you have to deal with life, so your training time might be limited, but once you get past the training stage, and you accept it, then you are halfway home. I think I’m almost there at least, but I’m not quite sure. One thing I am quite sure of is that my diapers are my friend, and that is what I will use. As I said, I’m sick and tired of trying to run or trying to move real fast and then end up on the floor because of this. Diapers allow me to sleep andd deal with feelings and the incontinence, and it’s cool but I’m able to finally come to the realization the diapers and I are old friends, and I don’t want to give them up! Brian

I have been wearing diapers for approximately four years. during this time, I've tried a lot of different products, and many of them do not even hold a candle to what a true diaper, defined by me as a plastic backed padded apparatus with tapes. additionally, this device needs to be absorbent enough to be able to handle almost anything that is thrown at it. in my opinion, the North Shore Care megamax, as well as a good many of their products which I use, are integral and an essential part of my management strategy. north shore really knows what a diaper is. it is not something that you use when you dribble, it is not something that floods after you end up letting out letting out a little bit of urine. A diaper is something if done right, where a person who is severely incontinent like me can actually unload as much as you can without having it leak under the floor. i've learned strategies for example so that I don't flood when I use the diaper, but I end up pacing it so it doesn't overflow. many times people will just let it go and they can't stop, and as long as they can't stop they run the risk of actually flooding it out. I learned that with a cheap diapers, and realize that I needed the good ones. when I did some research, with the help of Vermont Medicaid, they told me that I needed to choose five brands of diapers that I wanted to use, and I chose the Mega Max and the North Shore Supreme as the two diapers that I liked. the Mega Max, I was told was for people who are severely incontinent and needed full protection both both. I also did some research by calling North Shore Care and asking them questions. from my experience Norshore cares Mega Max's are the best diapers around, because you don't have to worry if you have to use it right away, and it is built to absorb whatever you're keeping the smell and the leaking to a minimum. I've used the Mega Max when I had to use it, and in situations when I didn't have a choice, and every single time the megamax works well for me. I also used their North Shore Supreme diapers, And I find those to be my second favorite. Aid, they can accommodate what you need to release, they have the proper odor control, and they're made properly so that they don't fall apart. Many people don't understand what a real diaper should be, it should be a diaper that holds whatever you can release or whatever you have to release, rather than to be something that only lasts a couple of hours at maximum, when we all know that those diapers probably don't even last five minutes sometimes. they always say that you need to change a resident Every two hours, but the products they use aren't even worth $0.02, And that's where insurance companies make their money cause they end up peddling things that don't work. I can tell you that North Shore Mega Max is and North Shore Supreme Diapers are my top two diapers, And I would use them if necessary and I wouldn't even hesitate. They know how to make a diaper and they know what the community needs. we need more companies that understand the needs of their, rather than the needs of insurance companies who always seem to be able to make the most money from our necessity of being able to deal with incontinence in an appropriate manner. I have also ordered the Garywear diaper covers and the trifecta diaper covers that are made by North Shore. these garments are awesome, they help contain whatever you are holding, and they're quite comfortable and you don't even really know that you're wearing them If you pull them up tight enough so that they cover your entire diaper. The lead gathers are big enough and haven't enough stretch to be able to allow for the area to be sealed so that you don't leak all over the place, but as any diaper, if they can't handle it, the pants usually take care of what releases from the diaper you. you also have to make sure that your diaper cover seals up completely so that you don't have any weird and unnecessary weakening. i've had no problems with either of these, and I believe that I have enough to lash me at least two years! I also use the North Shore disposal bags: these replace a product that North Shore was actually having to purchase. They make these, and the ones that they make are dark blue, And they also have a pretty pleasing scent. you can place a diaper in this bag, along with any wipes or anything that you have to eliminate, tie it off and throw it into a container or take it out with you. when I'm at home, I throw that into my jenibel can, because it has the can liners. These have been awesome because you can OK so that it doesn't smell as bad as it as it could if you didn't take care of it right One final thing that I use from North Shore is there large wipes! these things are 12 by 9 I believe, And they put every single adult washcloth that is made to shame common because it's big enough to be able to handle a messy situation, and big enough so that you can hold on to the entire wipe on the backside without any issues. They also can catch anything that is in need of being cleaned or being held, so you can clean up very easily. being quilted they can do that very very easily. I know some people may say to me that I'm a fan boy of a north shore Product, but these work well for me, and they haven't let me down, and the customer service and the people that work there are top notch, as well as the owner Mr Adam Greenberg. he really understands what it is that people need and understands that a diaper is not something that should be built to last two hours or less, but to be comfortable and help someone remain mobile happy dry and confident as well as having their dignity and their privacy maintained. the better the diaper, the better the reaction for the patient or for the user. So as far as Megamax's in North Shore products go, I am very satisfied with them. I give them all an A Plus, because of the products themselves, the customer service, the speed of their shipment, and the willingness to help you when you run into a situation that you need help with, And I'm also very proud of the fact that my supplier in New Hampshire can deal with them quite easily, and if there was any problem with an order, that could be dealt with through North Shore rather than dealing with a third party like Amazon. North Shore really knows what they are doing, and I am very happy with everything that I have used, I also use their boosters which is I have found very very helpful and needed, because you never know when you might have to use them when you are doing you are doing something long term and unable to change right away. Brian

@Incont Since this is the form that we would discuss our symptoms and our diagnosis, I figured I would place something here so people know what I deal with. Please note that because we do not have very many members yet, I'm not going to hit the mentions for every person, but they will see the posting here when they enter the Forum, so I shouldn't have to worry about that. once we have a lot more members, then we can start using mentions to be able to allow them to see that in their notifications panel ~Brian~ I will say that I have many diagnosis, but that is because I have cerebral palsy, and there's a myriad of other things that can crop up because you are dealing with it. One of the things that I was dealing with in 2018 and 19 was having accidents all the time, or not being able to get to the bathroom fast enough in like summer of 2019, where I would feel it and I wouldn't be even able to get up to be able to respond, or I wouldn't even know that I was doing it until it was it was too late. When this started happening, I knew that I had to have some help, so that's when I started as a member of Daily Diapers, I knew that this is where I needed to be, because I needed to help and the support because I'm thinking to myself how is I going to handle it? so my primary diagnosis is cerebral palsy, known as CP: it is a neurological condition and not a disease. CP can affect your muscles your bones your tendons and other parts of your body as well as your brain and other functions. there are there are many different types of CP, but each diagnosis of CP is different and unique to the person who has it, and it is caused due to something happening like maybe at birth when the cord gets wrapped around someone's neck, or there might be something that is caused in the womb And then you're born with CP I'm not sure exactly how that works, but there are many different types of CP, many different severities, and it is dependent on the individual who has it. As such, I have many sub diagnosis that have been showing up showing up over the years. here in this form, we will be dealing with incontinence, and it's tied to CP. My primary diagnosis based on incontinence are: "Cerebral Palsy" " Continuous leakage of urine" "Fecal and continents with fecal urgency" I have also been diagnosed with diverticulitis and IBS. these conditions combined with CP can cause many problems. That I was continent for as long as I was from about the age of two until the age of 46. once I started having accidents and having problems where I did not have any idea what was going on and I'm able to respond fast enough, I knew that I was in need of help, so my first stop was daily diapers. I chose this site because the people on it are very knowledgeable and know how they deal with certain situation, how to deal with the conditions, how to deal with the semantics of having incontinence, making sure you have the right equipment and supplies, and the most important thing is the support of a loving community that doesn't judge based on the fact that someone is dealing with I made the choice in 2020 to go full time in diapers. This is because of all the Times that I would have accidents, Or when I didn't know what was gonna happen and when. as I started my journey, I went to the doctor and asked him for my help, got the diapers I needed, and I called my case management team to tell them that I needed some help, and to open the floodgates. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to get whatever I needed to make myself able to handle the physical aspects of dealing with incontinence the changing of the diapers making sure your clean making sure that you're not dealing with rashes and other problems, because as you're dealing with incontinence you have to make sure that your extra clean and other things that normally someone that just takes a shower for example would take for granted. Once I went to the testing phase of every single cloth backed ridiculous diaper that they supposedly make, I was able to finally get the Megamax. I basically had to tell Medicaid that I was dealing with severe incontinence both ways, and I asked for the diagnosis to be added, because I wasn't gonna deal with having accidents and not have a way to deal with it period Of course they wanted me to be tested, and all this, And I just basically said that I had CP already, and it is widely known CP do deal with incontinence issues depending on the situation, and I am dealing with such an issue, and I am the expert and so is the doctor, so they know what I need, so there's no need for me to go to urologist to be tested. once the doctor gave me the proper diagnosis and the paperwork to back it up, I was able to get the Mega Max's within 10 days, or at least they said 10 days and I think it was like 3. I think somebody kicked it up to the top, after I had done my homework and listed my top five diapers that I wanted, as asked, and the first one was the Mega Max and that was what they approved period Now that I've proven that I need them, I don't have to prove anything else and I can continue to use those diapers because they work for me. I also think that having cerebral palsy, and using a wheelchair for as long as I have, may have contributed to it, because I was constantly being pulled in and out of rehab centers to help me with extended therapy. As normal, they want you to be mobile and be able to do a lot of different things And that's why the urine therapy, But I feel as when I went in there I was making a huge backstep, they had me using my wheelchair all the time, and by the time a week passed I was probably ready for a diaper, because I couldn't hold anything at night, because no one would take me to the bathroom. Then this starts with a whole bunch of people telling me that would be easier for them if I wore a diaper, And then I was in diapers, and sometimes I would be given heck and sometimes it would be OK. Whatever happened, I was constantly worrying about what was happening to me as some of these people were really nasty and did nasty things. Because of me being in diapers 24/7 for almost actually it's eight weeks the first time and 2nd time it was for six weeks, I was basically in diapers for 14 solid weeks. This made it harder for me to be able to retrain and I knew and I knew my parents were going to be angry, but I just told them that that's what they did, and then they were fine with it, but there were other things that were traumatic. i'll spare that here But to say that incontinence fun, is NOT true for many, but when you were when you were totally incontinent and you have no choice because you don't have any control, you figure out ways to handle it. I don't know if my CP makes my incontinence worse because of the fact that things are changing in my body and my ability to be mobile is changing as well, but when I end up having accidents and I'm not sure what is going on or when it's happening, I'm always happy to have a diaper on, And because of that, I don't have to worry anymore, and I can live my life to the highest standard possible. So I think the reason why I'm incontinent as well as a diaper lover, is because of the fact that I was in rehab for 14 weeks straight, And the fact that I always like the feeling and the smells that diapers illicit. Many people would say that wearing diapers is a chore, but in my case it can be annoying, because you constantly have to be on the alert to be able to change, and sometimes things happen in places in situations that you wish it didn't, but when you don't have a choice, then you have to be able to make appropriate choices whether with your clothing, your equipment, your supplies, the way you handle your bathroom management, maybe medicine management, and being able to quickly realize when you should change, because you don't want to be hanging around in a dirty diaper for too long, for that causes skin breakdown and wicked diaper rush, i've dealt with that and it's no fun. I'm just so glad that there are people that accept that there are people that are incontinent! many times people would say that we were "lazy" Or other words that describe the situation where we wear diapers to handle our incontinence. Incontinence is nothing to fear, and incontinence in my mind is the least of my medical conditions that I have to worry about. I can deal with my incontinence, and I choose to deal with it using diapers, it also helps with my feelings and all of the urges that I deal with period Since wearing diapers is not a problem, wearing diapers helps me deal with those things, and makes me feel safe And my stress level has been brought down to zero or pretty close. I'd rather wear diapers for the rest of my life than have consonant worrying about things that I can't control: And in my case, incontinence is something I can't control, So the best thing I can do is to accept it, And accept that I need diapers, and accept that there's no shame in wearing them and there's no reason to feel guilty said or any of those types of because a diaper is there for a reason, here we can discuss that, and we deal with things that cause incontinence or other conditions. my CP in my mind is the main condition, while incontinence and the others listed on my medical profile are subconditions or problems that arise because of my age and because of my CP. I would definitely interested to hear others diagnosis and be able to determine how they deal with their incontinence or their symptoms and diagnosis. the one thing that's a real pain in the neck is my IBS or my diverticulitis because sometimes that can really come up on me and really cause me problems. i'm glad that there are people who do then continents other than myself, and I know I'm not alone, and that I have good friends that help me to realize that there's no shame in wearing diapers are using them or needing them. It's just a fact of life that you deal with. Brian

Mine is heavy because I have urinary incontinence and I sometimes have bowel issues as well.

@Mark Nice to meet you! I know exactly what having IBS, and diarrhea feel like! one of the most painful things is the pain that you have to go through, and it is not easy to deal with: most times you can easily release And have little to no pain, which means the go is easy, and other times the release is hard and you cannot release at all, and everything hurts. I think that's what I was dealing with in 2018 and 19 before I went full time to diapers in 20. I also ended up having a situation where I almost wet myself a few times, and I also noticed that there were times that I wouldn't even be able to do anything about it. For example I'd be sitting in my chair, and I'd feel something that Normally doesn't have a problem with me but I realized that I had messed myself a few times, and most times I would have that happen while just sitting here in the chair. normally you feel something before you have to release, and your signal to your brain says OK you have a problem, let's go to the bathroom! Then the next thing you know, before I even start to put my hands on my arm rests to rise from the chair, i've already done the damage and I've made a mess! after dealing with several situations in 18 and 19 with wetting and messing myself, as well as having a few accidents in my bed, then I had to do something. I BS and diverticulitis were the two things that I had already been partially diagnosed with, so those were the two things that I was trying to take care of. add to that that I was constantly having accidents and unable to get any sleep at night because I was constantly in the bathroom, and that is another reason for wearing diapers. if you can't get enough sleep at night, then you can't do anything substantive during the day without being extremely laggy tired and feeling like you're a dead battery. I am very fortunate that I have a very good medical team as well as a very good support team. I have an awesome case manager that responds to every concern that I've ever had, and helps me to deal with situations. during the pandemic for example, somebody drop the ball with my prior authorization for my incontinence supplies my diapers my pads and my boosters for example, and it took them seven months to be able to put that back into force, and I had to continually call medicaid to be able to determine where this authorization was, and they kept telling me to call the doctor, And that was just a constant ring around ring around and a runaround, because all I was doing was calling the doctor every three days. I later found out my doctor was sending in the paperwork, but something was worked out where my supplier does that, And she knows when it's time to do it, So now I don't even have to ask about it. I also had to get additional supplies, which Medicaid would not pay for, but my case management team helps me to get, so that I can live the best life possible. as I keep telling people, incondence is nothing to fear, and if you have to deal with it, you should embrace it and realize that it is a part of what and who you are, and it's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be ashamed of. the only thing that really sucks is when you release and you can't get to the bathroom fast enough and you have to change in a unfamiliar or very uncomfortable place. when you learn about your incontinence and how your body reacts, you can make changes to the way you deal with your bathroom habits, so that you don't run into situations that would put you at a negative situation, but many times you don't have the ability to nor the time to decide when things are gonna happen where they're gonna happen or why they happen, you just don't have any control, and being totally incontinent that's the way I am. Instead of worrying about it and having sleepless nights, diapers were my answer. my incontinence is full on, and I'm glad For example for last night, I didn't even realize I was doing it, and I was just wetting my pants three or four times flooded the diaper out, and when I took it off I was glad I had it on, even when I was about ready to change, I ended up having to use it again, so I went into the shower bay to avoid having to clean up urine off the floor of the bathroom where I can go into the shower bay, and then it doesn't matter what I do in there, cause I can clean it up. All I can say is I'm glad that I made the decision and I did back in 2020! after what happened last night, I am continually reminded why I made the decision I made, and why I'm wearing diapers 24/7. it's time for me to decide to live my life to the fullest extent possible, and not to allow my incontinence to dictate what goes on. sure, you would have to use use the bathroom, and you'll have to change the diaper, because that's part of it, but I refuse to remain a prisoner to my incontinence not being able to do anything because I'm afraid of it. and condenses the least of my worries, and the least worrisome of my conditions, because I know how to handle most other things, and I have a darn good medical medical staff to help me. Have a great day! Brian

I have complete bladder incontinence due to a highly irritable bladder, with intermittent bowel incontinence due to severe diarrhoea through IBS-D