please support your kids!

[coolkid]

i never got good support nor did they help with anything nor any action was ever taken to help me so i still wake up in a soaked bed multible times a week.

so my message to parents is please help your kid!

 

and i seriously wish i had better parents!

(advice for me is welcome)

[Brian]

2 hours ago, coolkid said:

i never got good support nor did they help with anything nor any action was ever taken to help me so i still wake up in a soaked bed multible times a week.

so my message to parents is please help your kid!

 

and i seriously wish i had better parents!

(advice for me is welcome)

@coolkid

I'm sorry to hear that your parents are not as supportive as they should be! Part of the problem that I can see is that some parents don't understand what's going on, or they think the best way to take care of a problem is to make you feel bad because you're dealing with bed wetting or whatever it is. This is not a good idea, and I've had friends that have had to deal with that most of their lives, and my brothers when they were younger had the same problem, There are two ways to look at this:

ONE:  Making you feel bad and not presenting One way is to end up doing absolutely nothing, and hope that you outgrow it, which is a normal thing for kids to have to deal with sometimes they are not dry at night, maybe they have a situation where their bladder didn't grow up as fast as the rest of them, or maybe they just don't have any control at night. Sometimes ignoring the problem can result in someone being able to outgrow it, but ignoring a problem is not a way to solve a problem. Neither is Making someone feel bad because they can't control it or they don't have the ability to control it. The best thing to do is to try to help someone who is in trouble, try to be supportive, instead of being negative or uncaring, or not being able to deal with the fact that someone may wet the bed. I know parents can be wondering in their heads things like why does my kid do this? Or why is this happening? And when someone doesn't understand what's going on, they can sometimes get nervous or they worry about you, but if no one is actually taking care of the problem because it's being ignored and you are dealing with wet beds every day that is not good.

The best way to handle a situation like this is to try to do the best you can, and get the protection that you need. Your parents may not understand, but I can't see in my mind a situation where not having protection is helpful to you. You should have the protection that you need, and if your parents are not helping you, maybe someone will have to say something. if not, I would get the protection that you need and have them available.

if your parents found out that you have them, simply tell them that you need them because you're sick and tired of waking up with wet sheets, and if you can't control it, then you can't control it. Many people grow up and they don't have control of certain parts of their body, because it grows too fast. When you go through puberty for example, there are a lot of changes in your body. The first thing that happens usually is that your voice cracks, and it gets lower, and then you end up having hormones go a little bit crazy and you start growing facial hair and you You get pubic hair and then you end up getting acne and a whole bunch of other things. Remember when you go through puberty a lot of things happen wicked fast. You go through a growth spurt sometimes, you might not feel the same way sometimes in your hormones are going wild. Sometimes even when you're going through puberty things can happen and your bladder may not grow as fast as other parts of your body, and you may have to deal with that particular situation. I don't know how bad the situation is, all I can suggest is that you get the protection that you need, and if your parents find out simply tell them the truth, which is nothing bad because you're dealing with a situation that is uncomfortable and you shouldn't have to deal with it. When I say you shouldn't have to deal with it, I mean that you shouldn't have to deal with white sheets every night, not being comfortable every night, not being able to handle situations because your parents are  Not supportive or they don't seem to understand what's going on doesn't help you. Need to be able to have dry nights. To be able to get halfway decent sleep. The most important things you need to be able to sleep well and you need to be able to get enough sleep and you need to be able to let your body relax so that you can fully be at your best when you need to be, believe me I know because I went through the same types of things in my journey as it started 4 years ago in 2019.

When I say that I mean it! My problem was that I couldn't get enough sleep, and the sleep that I was getting was very little. Spent most of the time that I was awake in the bathroom at night, and I'd end up falling asleep on the toilet. The time what would happen is I have to sit there for so long that would become uncomfortable. Had several accidents during the time that I'm telling you about, so wearing diapers was the best thing that I could think of at the time. Was thinking to myself that there was a problem and I needed to find out a way to fix it, and I've just realized that there are several times when I just didn't have control, and I don't know if it's because of my cerebral palsy or because of something else, but I realized that there's nothing to be afraid of wearing diapers because they can help you. Only do they help me with my incontinence, but they help me with the feelings that I've been dealing with all my life, which I go into great detail on daily diapers about! Your most important thing is you need a diaper that works for you, that helps you keep dry, and you need to have the right type of equipment to be able to keep yourself dry during the day. That means that you get diaper covers, you get diaper covers diapers wipes and the whole 9 yards. Even have a disposal can and the disposal bags and everything that I need to be able to take care of having to wear diapers. Accepted wearing diapers 24/7 a long time ago, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

TWO:  In the second situation, you would be totally supported. You would have someone that understands your issues, and does not put you down or make you feel bad because you chose to wear diapers and it makes you feel better drier and happier. In this scenario everybody knows what's going on, and everything is on the table and everybody accepts what's going on and realizes that you have an issue, but it also helps you because you don't have to worry about somebody finding out something and you don't have to keep it a secret. To actually find the right diapers that you need and you know what you need and you know what you want, then get what you need and make sure you keep your supplies up, as long as you are happy and you're able to live in a situation where it is ok to wear diapers, you should have no problem. The problem happens when parents don't understand. Told many people that the most important thing is that a kid should be a kid and be able to live their life and be able to enjoy themselves while they're young, because being a kid they don't have any responsibilities other than those that are asked of their parents, such as going to school and getting good grades and getting along with people and following the rules, treating people with respect and basic tenants that were always taught as kids. Responsibilities we have as kids is to look up to our parents and have them help us, and in this scenario parents would help you, would understand you, wouldn't laugh at you, and would be available to help you through the worst things, and I'm telling you right now on the scale of zero to 10 if I had to determine how the diaper wearing affects me as far as is it worst: it's a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. Wearing diapers is the least of my worries, and if I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life, at least now I don't have to worry if I have to use the diaper, I don't have to worry about someone finding out about it, because it's just a part of life. I'm sorry that scenario number two doesn't seem too be in the cards here, but if you have a situation like I've had when I was a kid, everyone in my family knew about my brother who was disabled non mobile nonverbal and worn diapers all of his life, 10 years of it, and my mom took care of him, took care of my aunt Julie, and my father when he was sick, in the Baker family knows all about disabilities: my aunt Julie had Down syndrome, I had cerebral palsy, my brother was mentally disabled as a result of a Motor vehicle accident, and it was just the type set up where if we messed ourselves or we wet ourselves, it was just dealt with, they just told us that it was no big deal and they dealt with it. When you're growing up there are many things that you have to deal with in life, and the least of your worry should be whether you can hold your pee or your poop, because that is just a fact of bodily function, and your bodily functions may not be at the top of their game as you're growing up. This is why it is very important for parents to understand that kids do not have the same bladder capacities all the way down, and they should never ever ever be put down or made fun of or made examples of because they wear diapers past the age of 5, if they need them they need them, that is why being incontinent or disabled those are two things that you may or may not have control of being incontinent, depending on how bad it is, but sometimes your disability can throw things in your path and you're not sure what to do with it.

my parents and my aunts and uncles and Cousins and people that dealt with me, knew Of my disability, new of my brother's disability, new of my aunts disability, and they all helped us to be able to live our lives to the fullest extent possible. We were never made fun of because we were diapers, we were never punished because we had an accident, and we were loved either way, which is basically the type of life that I've always had. Him extremely lucky that I have had parents and grandparents and other relatives that really care about me and my family members, and the thing is I've learned that there are things that you should worry about, and there's things that you shouldn't. Of course if you're dealing with wet sheets and other things in its uncomfortable for you and you need to deal with it, that's one thing, but remember that wearing diapers is not the end of the world, and all you gotta do is do it. If in scenario one your parents are like that, you may have to turn around and make the necessary changes so that you feel comfortable. This is not about your parents, and should never be about your parents having a problem with it. You have the problem, you need the help, and sometimes parents don't understand. The good thing is that sometimes once you're able to explain what's going on and you understand very well what is up with your body and everything else, maybe you'll be able to get someone to help you explain what is going on, but that also means that your parents would have to be tuned into what's going on and be able to help you. If they don't help you, then there's an issue here and you would have to try to find help yourself.

Being here on this website, is a way to get some help. It's a way to get advice. Pray to have support: being incontinent is not the end of the world, being a bedwetter is not the end of the world. It's all on how you handle it. Many friends that I've known for many many years on daily diapers, and they have taught me a lot about what you're dealing with when you're dealing with either having incontinence or you are bed wetting, and the best thing I can say is you are not alone, you will never be alone because there's always someone who is dealing with the same situation that you may be dealing with maybe in a different situation but you're never alone. When I had a problem in 2019 I knew exactly where I needed to be, I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and when this site opened I knew that this is also where I should be. On daily diapers, there are different things that we can discuss, but an incont Dot Org, that's different because we're dealing with incontinence and ways to deal with it, and I can tell you from experience that wearing a diaper is not the end of the world. Ever since I decided to wear diapers in 2019, and then decide to go full time in 2020, I have found that every single time that I have an issue where I have to use the diaper, I look at myself and think to myself did I make the right decision: every time I look up at my shelf where I keep my diapers, I'm always happy to answer yes, in the affirmative because that is what needs to happen.

Please know that you're never alone and you have people that deal with the same type of issues that you are talking about! You may need to get additional help if your parents are not helpful to you and haven't been supportive of you! Perhaps you can get a friend or a family member that does support you and love you and stuff and be able to have them help you through this: make sure that the person that you're dealing with is somebody that you can trust, that will not blab on you, telling them things that you do not want disclosed, but you need to get help, and you need to have someone that is willing to help you, because you may not be able to do this one on your own. Once you end up having the tools in your toolbox to be able to handle the situation, it'll be a lot easier. Have your toolbox on the ground, but you need to be able to know how to use your tools when to use your tools and what tools to use. Once you have that down, and you're able to figure out what diapers you need and what other equipment you need, then you start figuring out what you need and how to do it. As you end up using diapers every day and you have a system down, one hour becomes 1 day, 1 day becomes two, and eventually it's a month two months 12 months and then it turns into years. After you end up having a well established system, you just do it because that's the way it is. You don't have to hide it, you don't have to be ashamed of it, you just take it by the hand and say I'm in control you take the reins and you ride the horse, it doesn't ride you. Don't ever feel that you are at fault for this, because there's a lot of people that deal with that every day! Believe me when I started doing this, I was scared and I didn't know what to do, but I know what I needed to do, I needed to ask my doctor for help and he did that. I won't go into the story about that in this thread, but suffice to say I got the help I needed, I'm not afraid of diapers any more, I don't care people know about it because that's the way it is! I don't want my body to be in control of what I'm dealing with, and not only that the diapers help me with the incontinence and the feelings, and I can keep those under control when I'm wearing diapers, and I'm also controlling the incontinence. I have the incontinence by the ring and I'm not going to let it drive me., it's gonna end up telling me when I have to go and stuff like that, and I just let it happen, but I'm not gonna let it bother me, because it's part of who I am, and for 47 years I tried to stop myself from realizing that that's what I am and who I am, a diaper lover and incontinent, and minute I found out that that was the truth, and I had friends that were able to help me, I was able to quickly accept it, but it took a long time for me to realize that I am what I am, and I can't hide the feelings or anything that make me what I am because that is the way I was wired.

In your case, having bed wetting is an issue: it's an issue that you would have to take by the horns: if your parents are not having any of this, then you need to find someone that will be able to help you get the tools for your toolbox. You need to get a toolbox first and then you need to fill it with everything that you need tool wise. Diapers wipes, boosters, diaper covers, in the whole 9 yards that I've explained above. Also includes all your topicals and everything else. Would do is probably get me a big container, get everything together that you think you need to be able to do diaper changes like powder in the in the sort, put that all together and put that in a position where you can find it. Grab your diapers and put those together, and put all of the pieces that you need in place so that when you need to use them You have them. Let your diaper supply go two or three months down, because if you do you would probably run out of diapers and then you'd have an issue. Have them delivered once a month, and I can call twice a month, because of the contract that I'm under with the state they pay for my diapers.

Remember that the diaper that you use should be the one that helps you the most. Don't get the cheap cheap diapers because they probably aren't gonna help you if you have a full on release in your incontinent. The diaper that works for you may not work for somebody else, and that is important! You need a good diaper. The North Shore Mega Max because those are the best diapers that have always stood the test with me, and I can use them and I don't have to worry about too much trouble. Sure if you end up overflowing it too fast you can leak, and even if you have the best diapers you leak, so you need the right material in your toolbox, which is why I use the toolbox analogy. I have a container that has all of my material in it. one container holds all of my medicines, one of my side tables has all of my diapering supplies, and the remainder of what I don't use is put into a container so I have them available should the need arise.

Please do not worry: having incontinence is not the end of the world, nor is bed wetting:  it happens as we grow up that our bodies change, and sometimes that happens my brothers ended up dealing with bed wetting on and off for a few years, and they just had to deal with it, they weren't punished for doing it, but they had to change their own sheets sometimes,  That way, they took responsibility for the laundry whenever they could, but our parents were always supportive of us regardless of what we did, especially when we're dealing with this. When you live with CP or other disabilities in your family, you have a very very different opinion about diapers, because you see them being used in a practical way appropriately, and it's not a big deal. It's really easy to change a dirty diaper and clean you up and stick you back in a diaper, it's really easy to take you to the bathroom when it needs to happen, and my parents and my friends and my family members didn't flinch: they just took it by the horns and roll with it. Your parents may not be that supportive, but please know that you can take the horns and ride that bull, but you may need help to do it. Please know that we will be here to support you, because that is the most important thing, you have incontinence or bed wettinv Issues, but they shouldn't have you.

Good Luck!

Brian