John Davis

I have been incontinent for about 10 years. I am fully accepting of my incontinence and not ashamed of it. I'm not a "diaper lover" per se, but I fully appreciate and value what a good diaper does for me. I like to say think how difficult life would be without them. If being a DL helps anyone to better cope with their incontinence then I support that. --John

There has been a trend for premium diapers to feature front plastic panels or “landing zones” for taping. The rationale is that the plastic panel permits numerous secure re-tapings. Do you need to retape your diaper several times to get it on right? This probably is something that applies more to diaper newbies. Do you untape your diaper to pee and then tape it back up? Personally, I hate them. I don’t really need plastic panel as I don’t remove my diaper to pee and I never get the tapes wrong when I put the diaper on. Diapers with landing zones do not have lower tapes that are low enough to permit a snug fit around the legs.😕 However, my biggest reason is that once I fold the extra diaper plastic inside the waistband, the folded front plastic panel causes irritation at my waistline, sometimes leading to a rash.😱 —John

If you pee in your diaper at night, do you wake up? If you do not fully wake up, are you half-way aware of what is happening or do you completely sleep through the urination? Do you deliberately pee in your diaper at night? I do both. Sometimes I am completely unaware that I have peed. At other times I am unaware that I have started peeing and wake up when I sense the pee running down my thighs. More often I am aware of what has happened and then fall back asleep. I must admit that sometimes I wake up needing to pee, just do it in my diaper and fall asleep again. If I get up and go to the toilet, I usually will not be able to get back to sleep. I discussed this with my urologist and he agreed that sleep was the priority.🙂 —John

I believe zzyzx is correct. There is more public awareness of nocturnal enuresis today and, while the stigma persists, it seems not to be so bad as it was years ago. --John

So true. No modesty at all. But, when you are that ill, modesty is the least of your concerns. Unfortunately, those who really need our "diaper tutorials" are the hospital administrators who make the buying decisions for the hospital, not the nurses and aides. I would never expect a hospital to buy premium diapers but would hope they at least would improve on what they usually offer. --John

I brought my own diapers - BetterDry and Megamax. As I was badly fevered, I had assistance from my nurse to put the diaper on while standing leaning against a wall. I think it was the first time she had seen a diaper changed that way. Later I just changed myself unassisted. As I recovered I was able to point out the benefits of a good diaper. --John

Do you have problems with any of your diaper tapes popping? I was looking at some old notes from about nine years ago and found that I had serious problems with tapes popping off. The cure was simple. I merely reinforced the tapes with a thin strip of commercial duct tape. Problem solved. However, at some point (about 4 years ago?) I no longer felt the need to reinforce the tapes as I realized that they were sticking much better. As I no longer wore my original brand of diapers it is difficult to make comparisons but I think tapes definitely have improved. In some cases the tape itself is larger. In others I think the adhesive is stronger. Even the mechanical hook-and-loop fasteners work great (these are not the fabric velcro-type). So, what do you think? --John

As those of us on this forum are medically incontinent, I assume that everyone has taken steps to protect their mattresses. However, have you done anything to protect your other furniture, sofas, padded chairs, etc. from a leak? I have gone partway by protecting my most used furniture. I have a washable chair pad on my recliner and on my chair at the dinner table. The fabric of these pads almost matches the fabric of my chairs and so are not very noticeable to the casual visitor. As I usually wear plastic pants over my diaper at home, leaks are uncommon. I recall only one leak onto a chair in the past five years.🙂 What about you guys? Am I a little OC with this? —John

About a year ago I read a report that the cost of the average hospital diaper was $.48. 😱 Of course, buying in such bulk will markedly lower prices but, you get what you pay for. And, of course, it suggests that the hospital was more concerned with saving money than patient comfort. --John

Good points all. However, do note that a thicker diaper is not necessarily more absorbent than a thin one. If two diapers have the same absorbency I will select the thicker one as it probably has more fluff pulp that will help wicking. --John

Kit, agreed. The Semi Quatro is a great diaper and stretches less than most breathable diapers I have tested. --John

By the time we have saturated our diapers to near their maximum useable capacity, it does not matter much whether they began as thick or thin. If the maximum absorbent capacity is the same, the bulge will be about the same. Frankly, I prefer a thicker diaper with more fluff pulp mixed in with the SAP to permit some wicking. However, that is disappearing from the marketplace as the general public prefers a thin diaper. There is an economic incentive for manufacturers to make thinner diapers as more can be shipped in the same container for reduced transportation costs. --John

Slomo, you are fortunate to have found a urologist who cares and has some interest in incontinence management. And good for you for educating your doctor about management. My urologist is a good practitioner, but has zero interest in managing, vice curing, incontinence. In contrast, my SCI rehab doc has shown such a great interest in the management aspects that I regularly have a "show and tell" session with her at the end of my appointment. When I showed her a Megamax she asked whether she could keep it to show the other docs. We similarly discuss enema equipment, etc. As a SCI rehab specialist, she is into the practical side of diapers, laxatives, enemas (now commonly called "irrigation"), enema gear, etc. (more than any other physician I have met). Bowel management is a critical health issue for quads, paras, and many others with severe spinal trauma. --John

While I usually wear the Northshore Care Trifecta or Garywear Active pants, I have worn (and still own) several pairs of the Kins breathable waterproof pants and have found them to be quite good. I avoid non-breathable vinyl pants in hot weather. --John

I think it important to note that our ability to help and influence other incontinents is not limited just to those who are members with us here on incont.org. A far greater number of ICs will read our postings as the result of a Google (or other search engine) search. --John

Iken, you were very fortunate to have the college be so accommodating. --John

Slomo, you had it really rough in college. The stress must have been terrible. --John

You have tried the main brands of absorbent reusable underwear. You will do better by using a good disposable pull-up such as the NorthShore Care GoSupremes. If you can use the toilet and not the pull-up, you can wear it for several days. Another option for you is to wear a pair of plastic pants on top to catch any leaks. Like you, I tried reusable underwear in several brands and found that it did not have enough capacity. I then tried pull-ups but eventually had to go to tabbed diapers that have served me very well. Hopefully you will not need to move up to diapers. Good luck. --John

I have mentioned elsewhere something I think should be mentioned here. "Airing out" is a big help to avoid rashes. When time permits, I air out after my shower by sitting on an open diaper or a cloth booster pad for my cloth diapers, just in case... However when time is at a premium, to speed up the airing out process the best method is to use a hair dryer on the "cool" air setting. This way it requires only minutes and is very effective. Your wife or female partner may not want you to borrow hers all the time, so just get your own. The most inexpensive one will do a great job. The smaller "travel" version is more than adequate and will fold up to require less storage space.🙂 --John

When the temperatures and humidity are high my two big concerns are comfort and avoiding a rash. I wear premium plastic-backed diapers at night but often use breathable diapers during the day when it is warm. During the day I may change diapers more frequently to reduce the likelihood of getting a rash. Also, I use wipes when I change and use a hair dryer on cool setting to speed up airing out before I diaper up again. I have found that using powder keeps me dry a bit longer. The Northshore Care MegaMax Air diapers are the best breathable diapers I have tried.🙂 They are extremely comfortable and stretch less than other breathable diapers I have tested. As I wear them with a onesie for support, the small amount of stretch does not really matter. The useable absorbency seems to be on a par with my BetterDry diapers. The downside is the price.😟 --John

My challenge is one of timing. I still have some limited bladder control, especially in the morning. So, I void immediately before leaving the house. My urologist is about 15 minutes away. Immediately upon checking in they give me a cup for a urine sample. That timing works as I have more than enough urine for the sample. If something causes is a delay I may pee in my diaper (full void) and then have to wait until I can provide the urine sample. As I use daily morning enemas to manage my FI (neurogenic bowel), fecal incontinence usually does not cause a problem. However, if the time of the urology appointment does not allow me to administer the enema, then all bets are off. Slomo, you had a really rough time.😟 --John

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper. What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs. Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult. I am a bit conflicted here. Do public displays of ABDL and infantilism create public attitudes that are antithetical to what we are trying to achieve? (please note that I am focusing on "public displays." I am not against anyone choosing to be ABDL. Good discussion. --John

Ikea, I so agree. I am on the warpath to persuade everyone to use the dreaded "D" word - "diaper." For me, acknowledging that you need to wear diapers is an essential part of acceptance and necessary for coping. Unfortunately, most of the medical community is working against us with regard to terminology. I have mentioned elsewhere that in many rehab facilities and hospitals, staff are forbidden to use the word "diaper" and instead must resort to euphemisms. --John

I like the MegaMax Air. Because of the plastic front landing zone, the regular MegaMax irritates me at the waistline after I fold the extra plastic back inside the diaper. The MegaMax Air does not have a front landing zone and so avoids that problem.🙂 Also, I can position the tapes anywhere I like to get the best fit. While the breathable version does stretch a little bit, it stretches less than most diapers with a cloth-like breathable backing. --John

I guess Michael summarized my concern that, as I do not use a wheelchair, others will assume I am taking advantage of the handicap restrooms. I have learned to just go in and leave as if I belong there (which I do). I do feel awkward when, as I leave, someone who obviously is severely handicapped has been waiting. --John