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11 hours ago, Slomo said:

Let's face it, rashes are going to happen. So let me impart some of my hard-gained wisdom.

First, know your skin will eventually adapt. When I first became incontinent I had a LOT of rashes. Usually a new one every week and eventually one rash that never went away for 6 months straight. After about 10 years I'd only get 1-2 a month. And after 20 years only 1-2 a year.

Second, prevention really is the best cure for a rash. This means getting your skin completely dry at least once a day. One person I remember said he would sit on the toilet for an hour each day to try and dry out his skin. Talk about a bad idea though, sitting on top a nearly enclosed bowl or water might never allow that to happen.  Me, I lie down on my bed with my ceiling fan on high. Even a desk fan works good for this, and in 5 minutes I'm good to go. Of course, having full incontinence with a constant dribble means I also need to use a baby diaper, carefully placed to catch any leaks. And back when I had urge incontinence I also laid on top of a reusable bed pad for just in case, while also staying close to the bathroom.

Third, ointment or cream- they are not the same. To prevent a rash, once dried out, use an ointment. This creates a barrier to protect your skin from the acidic damage urine can cause. To heal from a rash you already have, once dried out, use a cream instead. This absorbs into the skin and helps it to heal. And once absorbed you can also use an ointment to further protect your skin from more damage.

My cream of choice is a prescription only, called triple diaper cream (NOT triple paste, this is zinc, nystatin and 2% hydrocortizone steroid). It works wonders on cuts, burns, acne, scars, rashes, you name it. My ointment of choice is Desition original, which I also use to cut down on friction rashes when I expect to be moving around a lot. Whatever you choose, just make sure it has zinc in it and use the right one for the right purpose.

Fourth, consider it is not a rash. It could be a yeast infection. Like old fashioned jock itch or athletes foot. Drying out will help some, but only temporarirly.  And no amount of ointment or cream is going to help.  If you have a rash that doesn't at least start geting better in 3 days, switch to an anti fungal. Most any cream or spray works good, such as over the counter Lotramin or Dr.Schols. Once healed, step up on trying to get completely dried out down there. Yeast infections most often occure when too much moisture is present for too long.

Fifth, which leads to hair. For a cave man that didn't wear underwear or pants, having hair was necessary to keep down friction, temper heat/cold, and maybe even attract a cave woman with the added scent. Now though, and with incontinence in the mix, it's a burden that traps moisture and heat, ends up retaining a bad urine smell, and causes more rashes. So it realltly needs to be cut back or at least cut short. 

I personally use an electric hair trimmer with the shortest attachment guard. The guard is need so you don't nick loose skin. And I only need to do it a out once a mo th. Others like to completely shave however often they prefer, but I get skin bumps so that's out. And some brave people like to use hair remover cream (which is notorious for its burning down there so be carefull), or an epilator (which I tried once and am not ashamed to say hurt too much). Another alternative, if you're still young enough and have the money, is laser hair removal. I REALLY wish I had gotten that done, but it doesn't work on very light or grey hairs so that ship sailed for me a while ago.

Sixth, and last but not least. Do NOT use cheaper diapers. They have bad or non existant skin barriers. The inner most layer that lets urine though, but keeps it off your skin. And also do not fully absorb urine or lock it away, which allows even once absorbed urine to come back into contact with your skin again. Basically, if what you're using ever feels clammy or wet after the first wetting, or a few hours, then you seriously need to consider something better. And don't let the cost of each diaper fool you, not only do you get what you pay for but a more expensive diaper can actually cost less per day thanks to needing fewer changes.

@Slomo: While I can appreciate your position, there are a few parts I don't observe (yet) and may disagree with.

First off, I use cloth diapers.  As such, you WILL feel the wetness after sufficiently drenching the diaper.  I'm fortunate enough that after a few days of (heavy) wetting a heavy diaper at night, and slight use of talc power I can get back to going with out talc powder and as long as I don't try to wear too long, I'm fine.  Ok, I'm wet and not messy when I use the diaper (and on the very rare occasion when messy happens, I make sure to change as soon as possible and clean up real well).  And when I'm on the edge of starting irritation (rash), I'll use talc powder for a couple of days and typically get back to normal.... 

I do use the regular (fuller strength 40% Zinc Oxide if I remember correctly) Desinex (sp?) (or equivalent generic store brand) when I need something more than the talc powder - for a few days before backing off to talc and then back to normal (nothing extra in the diaper)....  I'm also not wet all the time....  I also can wear a wet diaper for longer than I should (and I believe I'm more comfortable than most in wet cloth diapers).  Your mileage will likely very.

I'm not yet to the point of shaving down there....  I can see the point.  For me, my main issue is at night and a morning shower seems to be taking care of the main problem....  I'll agree I now have a light day time component and may be on the edge of needing to start changing before bed where in the past I could get away with waiting till morning.

As to Talc powder, I may have to schedule a trip to Europe or Australia when I finally get close to running out.  : (

12 hours ago, Slomo said:

Yes. I sort of had that exact same problem, but I need to explain the actual problem you're also experiencing.

Just my observations here; Nearly every diaper that has a tape landing zone will also have what I call a "no lower tapes design". This means if you look at the back wings, one tape will be near the center, with the other tape near the top. There literally are no lower tapes. This shift up in tape positioning is need to land the "lowest" tapes on the landing zone, which never extends down far enough.

So, in order for these diapers to get a good enough seal around the legs they are purposely undersized. For some this equals a good (albeit snug) fit. For others, like me, it means the legs will always be too tight. And in both cases the rise of the diaper always comes up short, though it seems some also prefer it. Usually just extending up to ones hips or belt line, but never up to the waist (near the belly button) like they really need to be.

When I try going up to the next size the rise of the diaper is good, and there is also some room all around in the diaper too. Which is needed for sap expansion- otherwise you may end up with the diaper splitting open after it has absorbed enough. Except now the diaper will also be too loose around the legs. Guaranteeing it will leak on me long before ever reaching even half it's expected absorption amount. So that's not an option for me either.

In short, they are all too tight around my legs, with not enough rise or room for expansion. Or, they are all too loose around my legs, with the proper amount of rise and room I need. My only solution was to use a different diaper that doesn't have a tape landing zone. Which really just comes down to my body shape needing a compatibly shaped diaper. And right now that's the Betterdry/Crinklz lineup.

Again though, that no lower tapes design does work for others, perfectly even. Just not for you or I.

@Slomo: Thank you for this comment on tape landing zone and lower tapes.  The next time I try a Northshore Megamax on I'm going to have to look at this.  Even with two Northshore boosters I can end up leaking at the legs -- probably due in part to a poor seal, from what you mention.  Interesting. 

I've had a better luck on the last vacation using Tykables blue camies.  First, it was easier to gain the needed access during the day to use the restroom when needed without using or wrecking the diaper.  Second, I think I get a better seal through the legs.  Up till now I was thinking both the Megamax ans the Cammie should work similar, and both ted to work with a high capacity stuffer in front.  But I shouldn't need that much....  Now I think I could get away with an old style (6 tape) attends or depends with the Tykables high capacity stuffer in front....  I'll have to give that a try when I find an older depends still around stuffed in an out of the way place cause they didn't work..... Hmmm....

11 hours ago, John Davis said:

How much useable capacity do incontinents need?  I emphasize the word "incontinents" as, on most other forums, the discussion is swayed by the ABDL members who often promote high absorbency for its own sake.  So, how much useable absorbency do the members of this forum really need?

Good question.  Before the relatively recent introduction of high capacity adult disposable diapers, I couldn't find any disposable diapers that could handle my overnight output - when it hit....  That was on the order of about 24 oz in one round prior to BPH related issues, and if I was really hydrated might need to take a second round (or slightly less due to not necessarily completing (turning off the faucet) the mictrition cycle until I woke up and changed....  This is a major reason I quickly went to cloth diapers.  For trips, vacation, etc.  that is a hassle and attempted to use the better disposable products out there, with only partial success till recently.  (However with proper planning, cloth diapers worked on a longer vacation.)

With the current round of higher capacity diapers, I find I need more of the padding up front.  I suspect I could take a high capacity doubler (i.e. Tykables or ABU, etc.) and use a cheaper diaper that had good leak guards and properly fit me and get away with it.  I haven't tried that yet. 

Without the doubler, I find even the Mega Max or some of the other high capacity could leak on me.  With the doublers, it keeps it more up front and doesn't get to running loose....  So, it depends on the distribution of the absorbent material.  And as  male, I need it up front.  And my Mega Max diapers are from when they were listed as 5000 ml, not the newer higher capacity....  I suspect the cut isn't exactly right for my use....  Haven't played with disposables recently as I keep them on hand for emergencies, travel and longer vacation, and its been about a year since I played in this area. 

I haven't tried it yet, but I think the Trest is over kill for capacity.  And most of these disposables don't properly protect the sides like a cloth diaper will, providing potential areas for escape when a high volume quick void hits.  I've found with a high capacity double up front things work better.  I guess I need to try 4x of NorthShore's doubler as that would be about the equivalent of the Tykables doubler.  I know a single (or double) North Shore doubler didn't completely work for me either (at night).

13 hours ago, John Davis said:

Keep making it to the toilet as long as you can.  It helps to exercise those muscles and nerves.  Thanks for sharing.

@John Davis: Thanks for the comments.  

My daytime "fun" is telling the difference between an urge because I'm full and needing to make it to the bathroom, and an urge for other reasons.  I know sudden temperature deltas are one of those issues.  I need to treat the two types of urges differently, but that catch is knowing which is which all the time.  And I'm not "aware" of how full the bladder is when the urge hits.  At least I have reasonable "holding" power still.  Just leak some on (very?) strong urges on (nearly?) full bladder.  I figure eventually I'll loose more control, but I'm trying to keep that from happening for as long as I can...  Unfortunately, I think the day time situation (over the last few weeks) is some times worse than it was....  (i.e. damper in the evening when I'm preparing for bed.)

Urologist wasn't completely in agreement with my attempts to regain bladder capacity after the rezume procedure.  I lost about 1/2 to 2/3's of my functional capacity before getting the prostate reduced around the urethra while running with "watch and wait" protocol concerning early onset BPH and related (slightly high) PSA / Free PSA numbers.  Urologist says my prostate size supports my PSA numbers.. 

I think I managed to get back to about 2/3's of my previous capacity, and that may be dropping back down to about 1/2....  Part of the reason is my previous  maximum functional capacity meant I had an oversized bladder....  So, the urologist doesn't want to have me go too far with trying to hold and increase capacity back to what it was and the potential issues if I succeeded in getting closer to the old functional capacity.....  And that's why the occasional nocturnal enuresis is now basically nightly when I get good sleep and am at least properly hydrated.....

I will agree that Northshore beats out any of the other medical disposable diapers on the market.

My initial incontinence adult onset was secondary nocturnal enuresis that came about due to illness and the set of medications used to deal with the illness.  The medication "tweaked" how I sensed things.  Years ago, most doctors didn't give slight changes in how you sense things much thought.  With covid-19, I notice a change in this area is now more noted.  Two weeks on the medication left me never waking up each night when the full bladder hit.  After getting off the medication and the illness cleared, it had changed what had been pre-illness occasional nocturia into occasional nocturnal enuresis.

Years later, with early onset BPH, playing the watch and wait game, then finally having Rezūm procedure, my bladder capacity has decreased (from the bladder wall thickening, and the muscle strengthening).  This has shifted the nocturnal enuresis to nightly (assuming I stay normally (or better) hydrated and also get a good nights sleep) and added a daytime light leaking component, which means I'm now wearing protection all the time (outside of the bathroom).  I still normally make it during the day to the toilet, but I now have a slight pre and/or post leak that will leave some dampness I have to deal with.

Preference:  White, layered night weight cloth diapers.

When issues first hit I could not find a disposable adult diaper on the market that could reliably handle my nighttime output.

Now, for my last vacation I had white North Shore Megamax  and Tykables blue Cammies, using a Tykables stuffer, can typically handle my night time output.  And I find the Tykables tapes easier to deal with in the day time when I normally can make it to the bathroom but still need some protection.  I can typically go with one diaper a day, changing after the morning shower.

I have some others older ones on hand that I probably should also try with the new stuffers, such as (old) Abena M4 and maybe some old Molicare's still in the closet. 

North Shore and the AB market have finally got a disposable product I can reliably use most nights. 

My issues started several years ago where medication used to get over an illness combined to "tweak" how I sensed things....  After getting over the illness, I found a permanent change in how I "sense" things....  End result, left with occasional secondary nocturnal enuresis.  When I void at night, its on a very full bladder, and above average capacity.

Now I'm also dealing with the results of BPH, watching and waiting, Rezūm procedure, and the resulting thicking / strengthing of the bladder wall / mussel, which has reduced maximum functional bladder capacity.  As a result, I now also have a light daytime component to my bladder issues and need to wear at least light protection during the day in addition to heave protection at night.  And with the reduced bladder capacity, the nocturnal component is almost every night.  (If I'm properly hydrated (or better), and get a good nights sleep, I'll now be wet in the morning).