John Davis

Slomo, great topic.  You have summarized what took me years to learn via trial and error.  Let's hope readers will appreciate the value of what you have written.👍

One thing I would like to add is the importance of a hand mirror for self-inspection of those hard-to-see diaper areas.  This is to identify early skin irritation before it becomes an actual rash.

I dry out every day after my shower by sitting on a cloth booster pad or on an open diaper.  If I leak, I merely need to tape up the diaper.  At every diaper change I clean up either with a damp washcloth or wipes.  I then stand in front of a heater with a fan to dry out.

For rash avoidance, Extra Virgin olive oil provides a nice light barrier that is easy to apply and remove.  When I need more protection I use Desitin Daily Defense.  If I feel that I am at risk of a bowel accident and will not be able to change soon thereafter, I choose a barrier cream with move Zinc Oxide.  That will provide an effective barrier between the skin and stool but is more difficult to apply and remove.

I completely shave my pubic hair and my genitals.  Shaving the scrotum is a tedious business and any nick is sure to leave a bloody diaper afterward.

--John

That is quite correct "Incont" and you win the prize!👏  The old bedwetting panties, including StayDry, were sold without regard to gender and the term "panty" was used in that sense.  The same was true of the rubber "panties" for both boy and girl bedwetters.

--John

Slomo started a thread titled “What’s in a name…” but I felt this one deserved a thread of its own. I posted on this subject in a different forum but wanted to address it here.

If asked “Are you wearing plastic panties?” it is likely that the answers would be split along gender lines where the men would say “no” and the women would say “yes.”

However, there is more to the question.  Gentlemen, what differentiates men’s underwear briefs like the ubiquitous “whitey tighties” from pantys?  That’s correct — the fly.  Men’s briefs have that front opening for male urination called the “fly.”

Please examine your plastic pants closely.  Do you see a frontal slit?  Of course not.  Your plastic pants have no “fly.”  Therefore, I rest my case.  They are panties.  

BTW, in discussing rubber pants, Wikipedia says “Lacking a fly front, the traditional variant is a true panty.”  What greater authority could you possibly ask for?🙄

—John

Welcome Stevewet.  You have company here with the same issues.

--John

In some assisted living facilities and nursing homes the staff are actually forbidden to use the term "diaper" and, instead, must refer to it as a protective garment.

--John

At night I wear a Better Dry with a highly absorbent booster pad rated at 1,000 ml.  So, with Better dry rated at 5,300 plus the booster pad, that is 6,300 total capacity (the same as  a Megamax unboosted).  With that absorbency I wake up with the diaper not having leaked or having slightly leaked but that caught by my plastic pants.  

--John

Many of us have been impressed by the capacity of ultraabsorbent premium diapers.  Most of us are familiar with NorthShore Care's MegaMax diaper with a max absorption of 6,500ml.  I wear that one myself.  The Trest Elite briefs claim an astounding 9,500ml max capacity.😲

Of course, useable capacity is much less than the maximum absorbency, often around 30% to 35% of the maximum in a premium diaper.  But, how much do we really need?  Along with that extra absorption comes the penalty of increased bulk and weight.  Many reviews report tapes popping long before the maximum capacity is reached.

How much useable capacity do incontinents need?  I emphasize the word "incontinents" as, on most other forums, the discussion is swayed by the ABDL members who often promote high absorbency for its own sake.  So, how much useable absorbency do the members of this forum really need?

--John

The Incontrol Elilte Hybrid is arguably the best quality diaper on the market😀.  It definitely is worth trying out.

--John

Been to the ER in a MegaMax in the tie-dye colors.  The nurses loved it.  I even took one to show my SCI rehab doctor as a sort of "show and tell."

--John

In addition to disposal bags for soiled diapers, I always have a larger bag for the dreaded possibility of soiled clothing.  If we have a truly catastrophic bowel accident, "stuff" may leak down our legs onto our socks, and even onto our shoes.😱 

Although I normally use a military-style messenger bag when I need to keep diapers, etc. with me, I keep a "disaster kit" in the trunk of my car with extra diapers and a complete change of clothes and shoes.

Admittedly I may be overly anxious about bowel accidents, but, when it happens....

--John

I will add that, IMHO fit, fit, and fit are the most important criteria in selecting a diaper.  I put fit first because even the most expensive and absorben diaper made will leak if it does not fit you correctly.

--John

Excellent observations, Slomo.  It is obvious that they were learned over a long period of time.  There is nothing like experience.

Thanks for your very detailed explanation.  I am amazed that you were able to get MegaMax via Medicaid.  Well done!

--John

I was pleased that you used the phrase "live a normal life."  That is the sort of positive thinking that all ICs should have.

Keep making it to the toilet as long as you can.  It helps to exercise those muscles and nerves.  Thanks for sharing.

Welcome Slomo!  I remember your name from DD. That is quite a history.  I'm sorry you had to experience all that.  I can't imagine having 15 surgeries.  I'm glad you are with us.

--John 

Don't forget about wearing rubber pants.  They are less common nowadays but should supplement "plastic" pants in the wardrobe of anyone who is bowel incontinent.  

I will stress that I do not mean rubber pants as a fetish item.  Rubber is better at containing odor, particularly fecal odor, than plastic pants (of a similar thickness).😀

Often I wear either rubber pants or rubber bloomers during periods when I think I may be at a greater risk of a bowel accident.  In such instances I wear rubber pants over a pair of plastic pants.  This gives me a "second line of defense" against a fecal leak and, if I experience a bowel accident, it (hopefully) protects the rubber garment from being soiled.

Why bloomers?  The legs on bloomers come down the thighs below plastic pants. That helps to catch leaks.  It also is easy to change where the legs of the bloomers make contact to avoid skin irritation.

I always hand-wash my rubber pants and hang them to air dry.  They have lasted a very long time.

--John

Good choices, Nicky.  Welcome.

--John

Brian, very well said.  Those who are not incontinent grossly underestimate the importance of stress associated with IC.  Then, of course, there is the "loop" where stress increases IC and IC increases stress.  

For those of us who are bowel incontinent, the potential for stress is even greater due to the inability to really "hide" a bowel accident.  Plus, the social stigma associated with bowel incontinence is even greater than that associated with bladder incontinence.  The stresses associated with fecal incontinence even push some to thoughts of suicide.☹️  It is difficult to find reliable statistics about this as families often suppress such information after the fact.

Socialization via support groups can help reduce stress about a problem.  It is difficult to find opportunities to share the challenges of living with IC.  Unfortunately, face-to-face groups are very rare.  Even more so for fecal incontinence.  That is why this forum can be so important for all of us.  No one's incontinence is more important than anyone else's.  All deserve to be heard and receive help.

--John

Brian has "stolen" what I was about to post.  We seem to be using almost identical products and have great respect for NorthShore Care.  Is there any chance we can get NorthShore Adam to join our little group?

--John

My bowel incontinence is total and I estimate that I have as much as 20 -30% bladder control, but only sometimes. Due to nerve damage from pelvic trauma, I shift back and forth unpredictably between voluntary and involuntary bladder control. As I am OAB and a heavy wetter, I wear premium diapers with a booster pad.

Nowadays I get a good night's sleep as I void in the diaper and don't worry about it.  I already was a sometimes bed wetter (I'n not sure how often anymore).  It was impossible for me to get enough sleep if I  got up, removed diaper layers, diapered back up, and went back to bed two or more times a night.  My doctors agreed that sleep was the higher priority.

As I indicated in another post, I manage my bowel incontinence with daily morning old-fashioned enemas.😱  After all, an empty colon cannot have a bowel accident.  Over the years I have self-administered about 7,000 enemas.  After I get "hosed,"🙄 I usually will not have a bowel accident until the following day, so I am relieved of that form of stress.  My SCI rehab docs have approved of my procedures.  I'll be glad to answer any questions about enemas as there is so much bad information out there on the Internet.

I am not ashamed of being incontinent or of wearing diapers.  I am not ashamed of my arthritis, so why should I be ashamed of my other medical conditions?  My diapers have become my underwear.  It's just private.  I like to say "Be thankful for your diapers.  Think how difficult life would be without them."

--John

Hi Brian.  You have company as I like colors. Sterile hospital white diapers are boring.  I do not wear infantile prints, but like tie-dye, polka dots, paint splotches, etc.  I would wear prints if they were adult prints.

--John

Hi all, I'm John.  I'm a retired senior and live in an active retirement community in North Carolina (I haven't changed my email address that says "Virginia.")  I'm double incontinent due to a bad fall many years ago, plus surgery and just growing older.  I manage my incontinence well and no one has guessed my "secret."

I see a couple of familiar names, and some of you may recognize me from other forums where I usually post in the incontinence section.

My "go-to" diaper is the Better Dry, but I also wear the MegaMax (in tie-dye colors) and Incontrol Elite Hybrid. I normally use a booster pad and "plastic pants."  Often I wear rubber pants or bloomers on top as latex blocks fecal odor better than plastic.

I'm fully bowel incontinent due to neurogenic bowel (nerve damage).  I am OAB but have some limited control of bladder. 

Most likely I will be unusual in that, with my physicians' approval, I use old-fashioned enemas to manage my bowel incontinence.😱  By enemas, I don't mean the chemical Fleets, but rather the traditional soapsuds enema from a hanging rubber bag.  I works extremely well and I will discuss that at another time.

I look forward to sharing with y'all and learning as well as answering questions. Feel free to message me.

--John

I would like to second what Brian said.  Thank you.  This is very much needed.😀

--John (double incontinent)