John Davis

Like Slomo, I stay very well hydrated.  I rarely detect urine odor and I never have had anyone else comment on it.  However, I worry about others being able to tell.  The ladies seem to have a sharper sense of small than most men.

--John

I have a good-quality mattress cover over the mattress.  Then I have a large reusable bedwetters pad over that.  That is my primary defense.  Then, on top, there is the sheet.

I wear a heavier layered diaper combination at night than many folk.  As a result, it is very rare that I leak through to the sheet.  But, "Be Prepared."

--John

Mike, interesting and the price looks good on AliExpress.  I have never used AliExpress.  Have you found them to be reliable?

--John

How long can you wear a diaper before the urine odor becomes noticeable to others?  Note that others may notice our odors before we do.

Of course, this will be affected by many factors.  A plastic-backed diaper will help contain odor as will vinyl or rubber "plastic" pants.  Staying well hydrated will significantly reduce urine odor.  A diaper with mostly SAP and very little fluff pulp will contain odor better than a diaper with more fluff pulp.  Personal deodorants like Nullo will reduce urine odor.

IMHO, odor should not be noticeable until six hours or more.  By eight hours there is a significant risk of others noticing the odor, although they may not identify it as urine odor.

What do you think?

--John

Welcome Aug168.  Many of us have not had much success with medications.

--John

I use two diaper bags.  The larger one is a small North Face daypack.  I normally leave this one in the car unless I forsee the need to carry it.  It contains two premium diapers, wipes, disposal bags, a small amount of tape to repair a diaper, latex gloves, and plastic pants

The other diaper bag is a small military-style messenger bag with only one diaper, disposal bags, wipes, and latex gloves.  It has two compartments so that I can zip the incontinence supplies away and discreetly use the other compartment.  This one is very innocuous so it is the one I usually carry.  I'm retired military and a military messenger bag just seems natural to me.

Neither of the above bags is large because I leave my “disaster kit”😱 in the trunk of my car.  This one contains all the necessary items for a major incontinence accident, primarily fecal.

—John

18 Trifectas?  Wow.😲  You may be their biggest fan, Brian.

I do not have nearly that many, but I hand-wash mine and air dry them.  By doing that, I have found that they last forever (almost).

--John

19 hours ago, Brian said:

if you're wearing diapers, you become immune to the smell, known as " Nose blindness" because you are used to your own smell,

Very good point for all of us to be aware of.

--John

Brian,  I know you like and are familiar with Northshore products, but have you tried the NorthShore Trifecta diaper covers?  They come in Pink, Black, Blue, and White.  You like pink, and the Pink Trifecta is almost a neon bright color.  I wear a Trifecta in different colors 24/7.

--John

What did you all choose with regard to the diaper itself?  During really intense workouts you sweat so much that you do not generate much pee.  For those workouts it would seem that the absorption of a heavy diaper would not be needed.  Are you using a pullup or a tabbed diaper?

My days of intense workouts are long gone, but I do use a light tabbed diaper, plastic pants, and either a onesie or compression shorts. I would return home before showering.  While I am fully accepting of my incontinence and wearing a diaper, I would feel strange putting on my diaper in a locker room in front of strangers.

--John

12 hours ago, Dan said:

As long as I havent leaked, I am golden.

"Golden" indeed.  Dan, was that a deliberate pun?

--John

5 hours ago, Brian said:

Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale,

Wow, Brian.  I really like what you said.

--John 

Z, I think "just incontinent" is enough for all of us.😇

--John

5 hours ago, Brian said:

When you have a supportive bunch of people, who love you regardless of what happens, that is one of the positives of having a good support system. many people may not have good support systems, so they have to come to places like this to be able to get advice about how to handle it.

Brian, you nailed it.  And it is our challenge to pay it forward by providing as much support to others as we can.  Of course, that is not completely altruistic - by supporting others we ourselves gain so much emotionally.

--John

I will note that, if you select the navy blue diapers offered by some vendors, you may get an unexpected benefit.  If your diapers rise up in the back, they are less likely to be spotted if they blend in with jeans (presuming you are wearing jeans).  Even if they are spotted, they are unlikely to be identified as diapers.🙂  After all, the general public is not aware that diapers are available in colors.

--John

Zombie, that is nice when you can have a leisurely period in the morning and enjoy your coffee before having to change your night diaper.  You begin your day much better that way.

--John

Welcome JP and Happy Easter.

Glad you are enjoying life.  That is the important thing.

What diapers are available to you in Holland?

--John

"Leaky boat" - I love it!

--John

What is the "Ultimate Taboo?"  With the exception of murder, rape, and cannibalism I think it may be fecal incontinence.😟  This particularly is true of the general public who have little knowledge or understanding of FI.

For those who must know that you wear diapers, do you tell them you are "incontinent" or "bowel incontinent."  I confess to not sharing the "bowel" part unless it is to a medical practitioner who absolutely must know.  My dermatologist who conducts a full-body scan sees my diaper.  I had mentioned to her beforehand that I am "incontinent."  I certainly did not volunteer that I am bowel incontinent.

What about you?

--John

I am among several here who are fecal incontinent.  Those here are the "survivors" - those who have managed to cope with that form of incontinence.  Unfortunately, many have not and tend to isolate themselves from society and avoiding all social contact.

A few years back I was shocked to read a 2016 JAMA article that reported a survey of patients hospitalized with serious conditions who listed fecal incontinence as being a state worse than, or equal to, death.😱  Now, that was not a survey of the general public, but it does reflect the very negative attitutes toward bowel incontinence held by many.  Many newly FI are reported in medical studies to have had suicidal ideations.  It is unclear how many attempted suicide.

For myself, I admit that I had very negative views before actually becoming FI and learning to manage it somewhat effectively.

How do you think the public views fecal incontinence? For that matter, how does your family and relations view FI?

--John

Is the social stigma associated with bedwetting even worse than that associated with bladder incontinence?  If so, why?

The two have so many similarities that one would expect the public attitudes to be the same to both of them.  I am not aware of any studies on this, but I suggest that the bedwetting stigma does seem to be greater.  Bedwetting suggests that we failed to mature and outgrow childish inabilities to control our bodily functions.  Incontinence is almost the same.  However, people have reasons to acquire bladder incontinence as adults through illness, age, or accidents.  Few of those reasons apply to bedwetting.

What do you think?

I will add that I am a bedwetter.  The bedwetting was acquired as an adult because of a combination of spinal cord and pelvic trauma and surgery.  I am not sure how often I now wet the bed as I now do not attempt to get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet.🙂  This is with the (reluctant) approval of my urologist as the higher priority was to get a decent night's sleep.  So, my diaper always is wet in the morning.

--John

On 4/4/2023 at 11:39 AM, Slomo said:

First off, I'm convinced that "OAB" is urologist code for "we recognize something is going on with your urine retention and/bladder, but we don't know what. So, let's throw pills at it and see if it makes you go away".

Sadly, this is so very true!

--John

I actually had a doctor in a rehab center tell me that using the term "diaper" was insulting to an adult and robbed them of their dignity.😱

I maintained that acceptance was the first critical step to coping effectively with incontinence and using the dreaded "D" word was part of that.  Unfortunately, my words fell on deaf ears.  The staff was forbidden to use the words "diaper" or "bib."  The latter was a "clothing protector."😟

--John

And a "closed crotch" is because there is no "fly."  That is why the modern dictionaries classify them as being for women.

--John

I dislike diapers with tape landing zones😟 for the reasons discussed above.  Landing zones require the tapes to be where they limit our ability to position them optimally for our personal shapes.  

For example, try MegaMax and then try MegaMax Air, the breathable version of the diaper without a tape landing zone.  I can position the tapes optimally on the MegaMax Air and have fewer leaks than with the MegaMax with the landing zone.