John Davis

I have mentioned elsewhere something I think should be mentioned here.  "Airing out" is a big help to avoid rashes.  When time permits, I air out after my shower by sitting on an open diaper or a cloth booster pad for my cloth diapers, just in case...  

However when time is at a premium, to speed up the airing out process the best method is to use a hair dryer on the "cool" air setting.  This way it requires only minutes and is very effective.  Your wife or female partner may not want you to borrow hers all the time, so just get your own.  The most inexpensive one will do a great job.  The smaller "travel" version is more than adequate and will fold up to require less storage space.🙂

--John

When the temperatures and humidity are high my two big concerns are comfort and avoiding a rash.

I wear premium plastic-backed diapers at night but often use breathable diapers during the day when it is warm.  During the day I may change diapers more frequently to reduce the likelihood of getting a rash.  Also, I use wipes when I change and use a hair dryer on cool setting to speed up airing out before I diaper up again.  I have found that using powder keeps me dry a bit longer.

The Northshore Care MegaMax Air diapers are the best breathable diapers I have tried.🙂  They are extremely comfortable and stretch less than other breathable diapers I have tested.  As I wear them with a onesie for support, the small amount of stretch does not really matter.  The useable absorbency seems to be on a par with my BetterDry diapers.  The downside is the price.😟

--John

My challenge is one of timing.  I still have some limited bladder control, especially in the morning.  So, I void immediately before leaving the house.  My urologist is about 15 minutes away.  Immediately upon checking in they give me a cup for a urine sample.  That timing works as I have more than enough urine for the sample.  If something causes is a delay I may pee in my diaper (full void) and then have to wait until I can provide the urine sample.

As I use daily morning enemas to manage my FI (neurogenic bowel), fecal incontinence usually does not cause a problem.  However, if the time of the urology appointment does not allow me to administer the enema, then all bets are off.

Slomo, you had a really rough time.😟

--John

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper.  What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs.  Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult.

I am a bit conflicted here.  Do public displays of ABDL and infantilism create public attitudes that are antithetical to what we are trying to achieve? (please note that I am focusing on "public displays." I am not against anyone choosing to be ABDL.

Good discussion.

--John

Ikea, I so agree.  I am on the warpath to persuade everyone to use the dreaded "D" word - "diaper."  For me, acknowledging that you need to wear diapers is an essential part of acceptance and necessary for coping.  

Unfortunately, most of the medical community is working against us with regard to terminology.  I have mentioned elsewhere that in many rehab facilities and hospitals, staff are forbidden to use the word "diaper" and instead must resort to euphemisms.

--John

I like the MegaMax Air. Because of the plastic front landing zone, the regular MegaMax irritates me at the waistline after I fold the extra plastic back inside the diaper.  The MegaMax Air does not have a front landing zone and so avoids that problem.🙂  Also, I can position the tapes anywhere I like to get the best fit.  While the breathable version does stretch a little bit, it stretches less than most diapers with a cloth-like breathable backing.

--John

On 6/25/2023 at 3:51 AM, MichaelD said:

So the discussion about whether that is OK or not I actually already had, because there are a few wise guys who believe if I do not go in there with a wheelchair I am not allowed to...

I guess Michael summarized my concern that, as I do not use a wheelchair, others will assume I am taking advantage of the handicap restrooms.  I have learned to just go in and leave as if I belong there (which I do).  I do feel awkward when, as I leave, someone who obviously is severely handicapped has been waiting.

--John

Do you use handicap restrooms to change your diaper?  is that "fair use" if we have no other handicap?

If you can walk, have you ever exited a handicap restroom only to be glared at by the next person waiting to use it?  They sometimes deliberately look me up and down as if to say “you don’t belong here.”  I feel like I have to justify my being there.

One problem is non-visible handicaps.  No one looking at most of us could tell that we are wearing a diaper and might need to change.  We look like we are taking advantage of something to which we are not entitled.

Worse, many (perhaps most?) of the public do not view incontinence as a handicap (although many of us also are physically handicapped).

To be fair, with a little difficulty I could use a stall in a public restroom with its attendant lack of privacy and no where to set out my supplies.  However, I go to extremes to avoid that.

So, what are your thoughts on this?

—John

I suspect that our differing experiences with MegaMax are largely due to our different shapes.  In selecting a diaper my highest priority is fit.  Even the most absorbent diaper will leak if it does not fit your personal anatomy.

--John

Slomo mentioned the issue with MegaMax's lower tapes making it difficult to get a snug fit around the legs.  I fully agree.  Partly because of that problem I get better overnight protection from BetterDry than I do from MegaMax, despite the latter having greater absorbency.

--John

Has anyone tried the ultra-absorbent diapers like Trest?  I have not.  The most absorbent diaper I have tried is MegaMax with a Boostups booster pad (1 liter absorbency) added.  That gets me through the nights ok.  I have wondered whether any of the ultra-absorbent diapers offers practical benefits for we who are IC.  The only one that comes to mind is long road trips where one wishes to avoid having to stop to change a diaper.

What are your observations and thoughts?

--John

I have mentioned that not all authorities agree on the recommended daily intake of water.  In recent data, Mayo Clinic notes that the U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine determined that an adequate daily fluid intake is: about 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) of fluids a day for men and about 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of fluids a day for women.  About 80% of that comes from water and the rest from food.

So, the 80% that comes from water and other fluids would mean about 12.4 cups of fluids (99 oz.) per day for men and about 9.2 cups (73.6 oz.) per day for women.

The 12 cups per day for men is close to what I am averaging.

All sources note that the figures must be adjusted for weight, level of activity, ambient temperature, etc.

For myself, I keep most of my supply in a big plastic bin but some is stacked on shelves in a bookcase in the master bedroom.  My diaper pail (no lid) is in the bathroom closet.  In the morning I prep my day's supply of diapers and leave them openly displayed on a bedroom table.  The cleaning lady and maintenance staff all can see that I wear diapers.

If guests come over, my diapers (all in the master bedroom or bath) are not viewable from the living room or dining room.  I do not advertise my incontinence but neither do I go to unreasonable extremes to hide it.

--John

Do you hide your supply of diapers at home?  As this forum is intended for those who are medically IC or FI, our motives may be different from those who are AB or DL and not medically incontinent.

So, do you just stock your supply of diapers openly on your shelves, do you make some effort to keep them out of sight, or do you go to some extremes to hide them?

--John

For those of us who are IC, there may be a fine line between hydration and over-hydration.   We are told that we should be well-hydrated and that this is important for those of us who are IC as it reduces urine odor and urge.  

As I also suffer from chronic severe constipation (which causes overflow FI), I am told to be especially well hydrated.

Of course, this means extra diapers and the time and money associated with that.  Unfortunately, even physicians do not agree on what "well-hydrated" is.  

What is your daily intake of water and coffee, sodas, etc.?  Why did you decide on that level of hydration? How do you see the pros and cons?

--John

zzyzx is correct.  My urologist does the same - he requires a urine sample immediately upon checking in and later performs an ultraound scan.

--John

Emily, it may just take time.  That's what did it for me.  Your mind needs time to adjust to the new situation where peeing in your diaper is "ok."

Slomo has a good point that you may be fearful of leaking - I was.  I had to beef up my nighttime diaper ensemble, including better diaper, good booster pad, and two (not one) pairs of PUL pants.  One pair is larger and fits my thighs lower than the first pair of plastic pants in order to catch any bad leaks.  Fortunately, that rarely happens.

Also, I added a washable absorbent pad, "just in case."

Good luck.

--John

Yes, it was an issue and I arrived with a soggy diaper. 🙁 Not a problem. Just take a spare diaper with you. 

—John 

I’m with Slomo re a diagnosis of OAB. You need more specific information but often your urologist just doesn’t know. I’m in the same boat. I saw my urologist yesterday about the same issues. 
 

—John

Wow Brian, but that’s so complicated. Very best wishes. I hope everything comes out ok😊

—John

Slomo, I'm glad everything came out ok.😱  I fully agree re vague or inaccurate instructions.  I have received conflicting instructions.

As I have nerve damage to the anal sphincters, I have only limited sphincter control.  Any prep is a nightmare of continuous bowel accidents (in the diaper of course).  It is so bad I am debating not having another colonoscopy.  When I mentioned this to my gastroenterologist, he understood and, to my surprise, did not argue the point.

--John

Chestnut, my nightmare would be to have a fecal accident in public and not be able to immediately change. I have agonized during foreign travel about situations that could trap me in such a situation -like a small tour group in a van.😱

--John

For diaper covers, I prefer either the Gary Activewear or the NorthShore Care Trifecta covers.  Both are breathable. However, should I anticipate being in a public situation when I think I am at a high risk of a fecal accident, I will wear a rubber cover for better odor containment.

--John

I have read that part of acupuncture and similar treatments involves the placebo effect.  Those who expect the treatment to work generally find more positive results.  I expect that would apply to snake oil as well.   Similarly, skeptics are less likely to be satisfied with the results.

--John

I usually wear a BetterDry diaper (ISO 5,300 ml) with a BoostUps booster (max absorbency 1L).  I wear a cotton pullup over the diaper, then usually PUL diaper cover.  I drink about 90+ oz per day.  I usually take a nap in the afternoon and that changes my body position for diaper absorbency (uses most of the rear part of the diaper).  I use 3 primary diapers per day and a disposable pullup or cheap diaper as an "in-between" diaper to fill the gap between major changes.

--John