Slomo

2 hours ago, John Davis said:

Aggree re the scaling.  Also, an article I read a couple of years ago extrapolated the size and padding of a baby diaper to adult size and determined that it would be so overly large that adults would refuse to wear it (even though it would perform its function very well).

--John

Oh man, you reminded me of something. I can't find a picture of it, but does anyone remember seeing those old-school, red, thick-padded, jockey shorts? The kind schools had pre-1990's, and would make boys put on when practicing for wrestling or sometimes in gym classes?

We always joked they were oversized diapers. And well, now you've got me imagining something like that.

I've seen this question a LOT. Why can't someone make an adult diaper that looks, feels, and most importantly works just as good as a baby diaper.

First, copyrights and patents. Baby diaper manufacturers want any advantage they can hold on to, and not let anyone else use their patented designs. Baby or adult.

Second, I came across this image. This is just how different our body shapes are from newborn to adult. So a diaper shaped for a baby could never "scale up" and work for an adult.

https://9gag.com/gag/ajXG1MG?utm_source

2 hours ago, John Davis said:

Zombie, one community (I forget where) last year classified used diapers as biowaste and required highly visible biowaste containers.  As it was a city  health regulation, those involved had no choice and were "outed" for all to see.😱

--John

Which is a complete overreach and abuse of power. It's already well established by many organizations that normal human waste is NOT classified as a biological hazard or medical waste. It's just regular residential waste waste. (Though diapers are allowed to be tossed in with other medical waste, it isn't required). As per the CDC, WHO, webmd, and others.

So yeah, it's a serious lawsuit just waiting to happen if some town our county decides to do that to their own residents.

Make sure you follow up on that request for a second can too. Make sure to mention they should NOT make the second can specially colored for incontinence or medical trash. Otherwise they will be forcing people to literally advertise to the entire neighborhood they have a medical condition.

It's good to see mostly positive replies here. Just to clarify, I too do not going around just telling others I wear a diaper. IF it comes up for some reason, then I'm pretty open about it. Personally, I believe it helps to dispell that stigma and awkwardness,  one person at a time.

Not just believable. Scientifically proven. Too much stress is well known to cause all kinds of problems, physical and mental.

What are the pros and cons to you needing/wearing diapers? And overall, would you say they are good, neutral, or bad?

My own PROS. Never have to stop what I'm doing to find a restroom. Seldom ever have to deal with disgusting restrooms. When my IBS-D flares up, I'm always thankful to already be diapered. Having that sweet relief from painful urges or a bursting bladder. Diapers reduce my stress and help me to relax. I actually like how diapers feel on me, and they can also be arousing at times too. And most importantly they let me get out of the house and live my life. 

CONS. Can't lie, they are expensive. Had to completely redo my wardrobe to accommodate and hide the bulk of the diaper. They were hot a sweaty the first few summers after going 24/7 (no longer a problem/contact though) Rashes. Leaks (Thankfully a seldom occurance). Medical grade (hospital/insurance) and store bought diapers are horrible to deal with. Took many years to overcome the prejudice and societal hate for adult diapers in general (also no longer a problem/con for me).

OVERALL. I'd say they were bad at first, mostly due to the learning curve and adapting...everything, to them. Now though I'd say they are good, mostly to having what works without too many problems, and feels comfortable.

For all those how wear a diaper. Part time, nightly, or 24/7. How much of a secret is it that you wear a diaper? Are you completely open to the world (purposeful exposure not tolerated), or matter-of-fact open about them to anyone it may be relavent to? Disclosed to a select few, but only because you felt you had to? Maybe normally hidden and only discussed after others confront you, or do you steer away from any such discussion you might need them? Or maybe do you keep everything diaper related top secret like fort knoxx, and/or completely deny they even exist?

I personally won't lie about about my diapers, and while I am legitimately urinary incontinent, before that happened I've also always seen being diaper dependent as a physical part of myself. Maybe not the same but somewhat similar to BIID (body identity integration disorder). As I definitely didn't choose to be this way, tried to deny it before, then realized I'm better of having accepted it. For me, it's never a "what type of underwear am I using", it's more of a "diapers are a part of my life, and I refuse to hide any part of who I am".

Personally, I'm pretty open about my need for diapers (both physically and mentally), though mostly just with friends and family. And I normally keep them somewhat hidden (but not secret) to the rest of the world- unless it comes up for some reason. Of which I normally stick to the physical aspect of my need for them.

So my immediate family knows, as do my close friends. Some coworkers limited knowledge, but I've also asked them to be discrete so coworkers don't know (of which I've sometimes prodded to try and confirm). I've also had random people find out (beach, masseuse, doctors, etc). Some of which were curious about them which led to a good conversation, others just left said confirmation at that and moved on. And of course a very few people jumped to their own misconclusions and tried to make an argument about it, which I've always just felt sad for them and done my best to move on.

I'd have to agree. For both pee and poop. Anything less than 1" tall just isn't effective enough. 1.5" seems to work ok enough, and 2" just works better. 

The Betterdry/Crinklz I use have about a 2" tall leak guard, and I might have a urine leak 1-2 times a month with them. And even with my occasional IBS-D I have never had a fecal leak.

After you switch to 24/7, your body will start adapting to the added heat retention down there. It took me a few years, but eventually it stopped feeling normally hot and sweaty. 

 Beore that happens, make sure you are completely drying out down there at least once per day. Use rash creams and/or powders after that too. And consider using a diaper that will only last 4-6 hours during 5he day so you'll be changing more often.

Hi. Tell us what's on your mind.

High sap content with low padding content will almost always do that. It's why those paspds are so cheap and prone to failure, because you get what you pay for.

I don't normally use booster pads though. Long ago I realized it's better to combine the cost of a diaper and the booster pad, and just get a better diaper at that same price. You'll end up with every bit the same absorbency or more, and will also have a better functioning diaper that is WAY less likely to leak.

For the few times a booster does make sense, the absolute best functioning with lowest cost possible is a baby diaper. Because of their economy of scale. I tear off the side tapes (it's incredibly easy, just hold it at the base of the tape and pull up. They come off very easy this way). When it gets saturated enough it will overflow into your adult diaper. Or you can change it out with another one to greatly extend the wear life of your adult diaper.

Also online.

Grocery stores and pharmacies only carry junk. It's one step up from the medical crap hospitals and insurance companies have, but still not worth it. They tend to be more expensive too (when looked at on a per-day cost, not per-diaper). So there's zero benefit to buying them.

Online, and by the case, is almost always going to be the least expensive option. Plus, you'll be getting diapers that actually work without leaking.

This all said, IF I somehow end up out of town and out of my usual supplies then I will look for medical supply stores. Usually they will have something half-decent enough to carry me over.

3 hours ago, John Davis said:

Of course, too much fluff pulp can cause the problem of "press-out" where when one sits down, our weight causes a small amount of pee to be pressed out of the diaper's absorbent mat.😕  THis is because fluff does not "lock in" the pee as SAP does.  However, that small amount of pee (usually very small) pressed out usually is absorbed back into the diaper.  By increasing the amount of SAP, diaper manufacturers almost eliminated the press-out problem.  However, by reducing the fluff they also eliminated most of the wicking.😱

Personally, I appreciate a soft, fluffy diaper.  Many all-SAP or nearly all-SAP diapers are stiff and "crunchy."

--John

Seconded. There is a definitive balance between too thin and too thick when it comes to the padding fluff.

I too have worn my diapers to 100's of Dr appointments (not kidding). I've talked to CT and MRI techs about my diapers, and they actually prefer we wear one rather than risk it. Because if someone might need them but doesn't wear a diaper, that can mean the tech has to stop the scan, clean the bed, then restart the scan. It's more, and messy, work they prefer not having to deal with.

For me, elastic waistbands are helpful. They make sure my diaper stays snug without getting too tight, and also help the diaper conform to my body shape. Of which helps contain any smells. They also help by allowing me to pull down the diaper for sitting on the toilet, then pull them back up into place. All without having to redo the tapes.

I continuously dribble and can also attest to the standing leak guards helping, a lot. They reduce leaks around my legs, and really help to reduce leaks while sleeping on my side. 

I feel the premium diapers do have enough capacity and padding to take multiple floodings or all day dribbling for 12 hours (or more), so I'd say they are good where they're at. A few even go way beyond what's needed, but they're clearly for those who want to feel the bulk between their legs. Not really aimed or priced at those who want a diaper that will last through a work day.

Wetess indicators are a waste. ANY decent caregiver will be able to spot a diaper that needs changing from across the room. Or smell it. And we certainly don't need them for ourselves. Plus, they only indicate when when the diaper has been first used, not when it's nearing any sort of capacity. So they don't even do any good. Indicators need to be left off.

Tapes and plastic backing material could definitely be better and stronger. It's ok enough as is, bu5 just barely. I'd love to see getting rid of second chance tapes AND without needing a too-small tape landing zone. Three tapes per side would also be a big improvement. Though I'm sure all of that would mean more expensive diapers, which almost nobody wants. So that isn't likely to happen.

You did overlook colors and prints though. While completely secondary to their function, I see plenty of request for more colors (especially blue or light blue), and non-babyish prints. Personally I like Crinklz though.

11 hours ago, ADudeStillDiapered said:

Personally, I find more comfort in a diaper that is thicker, or to you point fluffier. While the thin can be more discrete, I often times find that it takes a second for the firmly compressed padding to be ready to absorb everything I’m throwing at it. Fluffier diapers like Northshore MegaMax leave me with no fears of leaks and when dry are honestly quite discrete!

 

cheers

It can be, but thin is not always discrete.

A thick diaper that has done its job is WAY less noticeable than a thin one that has leaked.

Hi all, I just got back from a week long cruise. Had plenty of swimming and lounging in the sun. And yes, I am fully urine incontinent. I wore something like in the link below, but mine is all blue and has boats and ducks on it. Nothing that screams babyish, but not adulting either.

https://rearz.ca/dinosaur-adult-pocket-diaper/

I wore decent gym shorts/ teeshirt over it to and from the pool. With a baby diaper inserted into the pocket. It worked perfectly as I was able to discretely remove the baby diaper when taking off my shorts and shirt. And quickly reinsert it when drying off. Well, except for one time when I forgot to remove it before going into the water. Kept leaking pool water after I got out, so I removed the ladened diaper, and while drying off I was able to somewhat dry off some of the terry lining too. (Again, all discretely). That held me over just long enough to get back to my cabin.

Other times with the slides I was able to quickly break a leg seal and let enough water out that I didn't leak all over till I was back in the water again. A word of caution though, make sure you have a snug-ish rise and fit. Otherwise a little of the left over water will make it sag in the back. Thankfully my wife pointed it out to me and I was able to readjust before anyone noticed.

In and out of the water, not a single person batted an eye. Life guard, parents, kids, nobody cared, if anyone even realized. And yes I was being self conscious enough to to keep an eye out for others reactions.

I not only prefer something that works, I demand it. And yeah, not enough fluff means a diaper won't wick or absorb enough. Usually resulting in a leak within 2 hours.

I blame insurance companies that only look at the price per diaper, and want that price to be as cheap as possible. Never mind how much it actually costs on a per day, or per month, basis. They force an inferior product on people, and manufacturers only look at total sales. When they see an inferior product "selling", they adjust their marketing to sell even more. Then doctors and patients see those adds and perpetuate the cycle.

Having abdl diapers has been a life saver. Both for my bank account and my sanity. And bonus, why not fun prints too.

On 4/27/2023 at 9:24 AM, Brian said:

@Slomo

In my mind, it is not the doctor that should be making decisions that say you should be out of diapers. A diaper is a solution to an issue, and the issue is made an issue because of the person that is dealing with it, not because the doctor sees you in a diaper. if you decide that you're going to use a diaper, it is not in the best interest of any urologist to tell you that you shouldn't be. sure, they can say that it is for temporary management of incontinence, But if you are like me, and have cerebral palsy, there's no way that my doctor is going to tell me that he's gonna cure me of cerebral palsy, so there's no discussion of dealing with this. We all know that in my case there is brain damage, and usually CP includes some sort of damage to neurological function. the difference in the severity of the damage would tell how bad you have the CP, but nobody is going to try to treat my CP by trying to cure it.

as such, since you can't cure CP you have to work with the condition that you're dealing with, and treat the symptoms of the condition. A symptom of a condition can be managed, and should be managed appropriately. It is well known that a neurological disease or neurological condition depending on the situation, should be dealt with with the understanding that it is neurological and it can affect your body in different ways. for example, for some reason my right hand will start to shake For no reason sometimes And I don't know how it happens and don't know why it starts to tremor, but it does, and I have to deal with that everyone every once in awhile, while but while there are things I can do to manage that problem when it occurs, I can't stop it from happening again.

If you're incontinent, you may have the ability to be tested to find out how bad it is, or to be able to determine what causes the problem. if you're lucky enough to have the ability to use medicine or medical intervention by taking drugs that help you manage it, then that is one thing this one, if you decide that you want to do something else, that's a different thing, but it should not be up to the doctor to try to get you out of diapers because they don't think it works period to have someone tell you that is almost like saying OK just go all over the floor whenever you feel like it! that is ridiculous And no doctor would tell you to pee on the floor!

additionally I have friends that don't have any bowel or bladder control at all! this is because they don't have working plumbing, so they have no way of being able to control the muscles in their butter or bowels, And it doesn't matter how much a doctor or urologist will tell you that they don't think diapers are a good idea, they are needed, and if you tell someone who has no bowel or bladder control because they don't have control of the muscles that control those functions, regardless of what you say it's not gonna matter. They have to do whatever they do to manage the situation, And if they do that, they have ways of doing it, it might be inconvenient, and embarrassing for certain situations, but those who have to deal with incontinence because of this type of condition, they deal with it the way they deal with it, because they have no other choice.

A urologist should never tell you that you should be out of diapers. Sure, if they have a way to be able to treat your incontinence, that's one thing, But the problem now is, what happens if the drug that they try to treat you with is worse that the condition that they're trying to treat? some people don't like the effects of the drugs they use, some of them just don't like the feeling that a drug causes, or a reaction that happens. some. sometimes I think a diaper is a hell of a lot easier to deal with than to deal with a medical treatment that requires drugs. this is just my opinion, because in my opinion I don't wanna take any drugs that I don't need, an incontinence is something that is normal as far as for people that have cerebral palsy or any neurologic condition, in fact I'm been lucky most of my life that I've been able to control my bladder and bowels, But as I age it becomes harder and harder, because I'm not able to move as fast as I used to.

I agree that anybody that decides that you should be out of diapers or tells you that you shouldn't be wearing them should be fired immediately! when I went to my doctor and I asked him for help, he did not say that diapers were bad, I told them why that I wanted them, told them that I had a neurologic condition, and that CP is known to cause certain subconditions, one of them being incontinence, because people have trouble controlling muscles, so they might not be able to control what's going on. as you age you might not be able to have as much control as you did when you're 25 as you do at 50 or 75, that's usually what happens.

Finally I believe that diapers are my choice and my solution to my problem. A doctor or some sort of professional can actually give me advice, but the thing is that's important is that I can make that decision whether to take the advice or leave it, because it's my doctor, my body, my health and my treatment plan that is being discussed. A professional doctor or nurse or LPN or CNA or whatever they are, their job is to help you, but not to judge You or to tell you that you shouldn't be doing something, unless of course it impacts your health like smoking for example.

Brian

Ha, yeah. Agreed. Try saying that to a few urologists though. It will probably fall on dead ears.

My underlying issue is/was neurological signals getting crossed, more physically so than mental as it resulted from a car wreck I was in. Not the same as you, but maybe somewhat adjacent to it. 

Hi. I'm finishing up a week long cruise right now. I'm functionally urine incontinent, and not once did I let that stop me from enjoying my vacaction. Pools and beach included.

Welcome, and agreed. Getting over that "what others might think" fear is a big step. But like you said, you life improves quite a bit afterwards.

I've been to a dozen different hospitals and surgery centers. Thankfully not a one of them was completely against diapers. A few nurses had wanted me to take it off when changing into that gown, but a little explanation of how incontinence works has always changed their minds. 

Depending on the surgery I've woken up without a diaper on. And some more nurses were hesitant to give me a new one. Though again, with some insistence I was able to get one. 

I've had WAY too many urologists over the decades. Some were absolute quacks who didn't even believe I had any underlying conditions. They literally told me I needed to get out of diapers, and could have done so if I just tried a little harder. Yeah....

I've also had a few that did understand I had urinary issues, yet still thought it was their duty get me out of diapers. Of course, to them that meant catheters, or a stoma (new pee hole in the belly button that also has to be catheterization all the time), or my favorite some medication they though would completely cure me.

All I can say, is if anyone ever ends up with a urogist like that. Fire them immediately. It will be faster and easier if you just start over by looking for a different urologist.

23 hours ago, Brian said:

just another quick question: is there such a garment that can protect you from both fecal incontinence and urinary incontinence when you're dealing with swimming? I know the idea is that you don't want to release in a swimming pool, so that is why you're wearing what you're wearing, but I was wondering if there is such a garment that you can wear that will take care of both, because I know that when you're dealing with fecal incontinence you're wearing a swim diaper to keep the fecal content within the swim diaper rather than within the pool.

If there is such an animal, I'd love to be able to find it, because I can probably get it!

Thanks!

Brian

The closest I've come to that is a swim diaper that tries to make a full seal with dual elastic bands at the legs and waist. It's supposed to let you wear a regular diaper underneath.

Except like I mentioned,  that just doesn't work due to the small of the back. So unfortunately no, nothing I've ever found.