Slomo

I wonder, who has ever had to stay overnight as an inpatient at a hospital, and was also incontinent. How did the hospital manage it with you, what diapers or other methods were used, and what was your experience?

Tomorrow morning I check in for a total knee replacement. I'm functionally incontinent, and my go-to diaper is Crinklz (yes with the abdl prints). I don't have any other brands on hand either. I'll be staying overnight, and will be bringing my own diapers with me. So I'll let everyone know how it goes.

I've also made the mistake of not bringing my own diapers before, and the "best" diaper a hospital ever carries is torturous junk. This won't be my first stay while using Crinklz either. During the covid lockdown I had a kidney stone lodge itself in my ureter. That turned into a blood infection, and due to the then protocols I was put into a full isolation room for a few days (over a weekend, as their testing lab was closed) untill my covid test came back negative. I was really out for most of it, at deaths door really. So it's pretty hazy. The nurses did keep me diapered, and did also change me at least a few times. I don't recall what, if anything, was ever said about my choice of diaper. And at the time I didn't care either. By the time I was discharged at least a dozen nurses and doctors had seen me in just my diaper, yet nobody ever commented to me about them or made it out as any kind of an issue. I guess with an infection that bad they all had bigger things to worry about....

Ps. Kidney stones are NOT the "worst pain I've ever felt". I don't know what people are talking about there, but I've had worse.

Like the OP, my biggest protection for furniture is to use a diaper I can trust won't leak. At least not that often.

My couch and recliner have an extra cover on them for my dogs (yes they are allowed on the couch). That cover is easily washable and is more than enough to protect the furniture from me too. My office chairs also needed a posture support cushion on them, which those are also easily washable. So I don't really have any specific covers or pads for my furniture.

Some diapers have that problem more than others. And sometimes they can get a bad manufacturing run that will affect entire batches. And sometimes it's our own unwitting sabotage that does it. 

Diaper manufacturers don't want to use better tapes that cost more and aren't going to make a significant improvement. As long as 90% work as intended they think that's good enough (looking at you Abena and Confidry). They also found a bad run can cost 100's of thousands to recall. But still selling them might not cost more than a few grumpy customers (looking at you Bambino and Wellness). For them, our best bet is to rub the tapes on after sticking them in place. Just a few light rubs is enough to make sure they have full contact and are fully stuck in place. That is unless you want to try and heat weld them into place for an even better guarantee they won't come off.

And then there's us too. If you use powder or creams/ointments then be really careful how you handle the diaper. Don't grab it where a tape is supposed to go. And definitely don't rub the side of the diaper flat while putting it on. That could deposit a light coating which absolutely can affect tape performance. And if they still pop off early, you can use a diaper pin (my preference), or extra tape (and later scisors) to keep them in place long enough till it's time for a change.

On 7/18/2023 at 12:08 PM, Iken said:

It makes you wonder why Hospitals, skilled Nursing homes and assisted living homes give their people thin diapers when thicker ones are much preferred. For me, Thicker diapers are a no brainer because they make sure I don't leak and I don't change my diaper on a constant basis. That's why I prefer Megamax diapers because I can get a full 12 hours of diaper time before changes unless I poop really badly.

Oh that's easy. Because the supplies they have are dictated by some beuocrat in accounting who's never had to use an adult diaper. They look at the price per diaper,  see some other diaper costs less, and think they are all created equally so why not get the cheapest one possible...

I've even tried going to said beuocrats (in the VA, and with insurance), to explain how it's cheaper overall for them, and better performing for us, when going for the better product. And every time it's the same sort of "hands are tied" brush off because they just don't care.

51 minutes ago, John Davis said:

Good points all.  However, do note that a thicker diaper is not necessarily more absorbent than a thin one.  If two diapers have the same absorbency I will select the thicker one as it probably has more fluff pulp that will help wicking.

--John

Very true. With diapers everyone always needs more than just absorbency. They also need the ability to retain what gets absorbed. Too many people tend to overlook how important both are. Because if a thin diaper can absorb 3 liters of pee, but only retain 1 liter, then what good is it really. And if a thick diaper can only absorb 2 liters of pee but retains it all, then it really is the better choice.

Same for thick as well. Thin always means it will have more sap (super absorbent polymer). And too much sap to padding means it will take much longer for the diaper to absorb pee, and also be much more likely to leak. 

Thin diapers are also more expensive than thick diapers too. Think about it, every time you change a thin diaper you're paying for an new waterproof shell, tapes, elastics, etc. But go with thick and every minute past changing a thin one you're only paying for the added padding. On a per day basis, the cost of a thick diaper always comes out cheaper.

Then there's function too. A diaper's entire purpose is to prevent embarrassing leaks. Thin fails at this way too often, and thick excells at not leaking. Going with a thick diaper is what's called a no-brainer. Especially when you consider this "a thick diaper that has done its job is way less noticeable than a thin one that has leaked".

Water. It's the most important thing you can drink to help with incontinence. Seems counter intuitive, but it can't be overstated. Dehydrating yourself so you won't have to go as often does more damage to your body overall. AND it makes your pee smell much worse while also causing more rashes. Just don't do it.

Cranberry juice (not the juice mix) is also really good for maintaining urinary health. It's even been shown to cure minor UTIs.

As for bowel incontinence (and IBS), that's probably going to vary from person to person. Though generally, vegetables are usually quite helpful in reducing symptoms and making you more regular.

I just had an interesting conversation with a new urologist, so thought I'd share.

For those who don't know, I previously had a severe urinary blockage (neurogenic dyssynergia), coupled with sever urge incontinence. And yes, it was painful and the complications from it were even a little deadly. A whopping 16 surgeries later and now I'm functionally incontinent, with dripping all the time.

Except recently I've sometimes been retaining urine in my bladder. Given my history I figured it would be best to look into why that's happening. So my pcm referred me to a new urologist. I'm a disabled veteran, and get my primary care at a Navy base hospital, and my urologist referral also ended up being on base too. And he is an active duty Captain.

So I started him off with a brief history, where I should be with my functional incontinence, and what's been going on. And as expected he ordered a cystoscopy for a later date so we can figure out what's changed. But then he starts asking me how I've been dealing with all my problems, sex life, and managing my incontinence! Like, no other specialist has EVER cared enough to even ask this stuff....

On the topic of managing my incontinence we ended up talking about how difficult it was for me when I first started wearing depends 24/7 (In the 90's). And how bad they were with leaks. How even now the only thing dependable with Depends is they absolutely will leak. But I've since found much, much better online that is also cheaper.

Intreagued he asked me what I use now, and I told him Betterdry (just to keep it simple, even though I actually use Crinklz). That yes they cost 3x as much, but they also last 6x as long. They don't leak, have better acquisition and therefore feel dryer for longer, need changing much less often, and therefore cost less on a cost-per-day basis. And he was really happy to hear all that. I just wish I also told him about LLMedical, which sells them with a military/veterans discount. Lol, or maybe this website too.

On 7/8/2023 at 7:26 AM, John Davis said:

Slomo, you had it really rough in college.  The stress must have been terrible.

--John

On 7/8/2023 at 3:07 AM, Zombie_Turtle said:

I had an overactive bladder during that period of my life but it had yet to cause any problems other than making me feel embarrassed, or kind of abnormal.

Slomo: that sounds horrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and on top of it, not having effective means to protecting yourself.  

Thanks for the sympathy. It didn't happen all that often, maybe like once a week or two. And thankfully my time in the US Marines instilled me with a lot of self confidence that helped me deal with it.

All that hardship is one of the reasone why I like being here to try and help others. It gives me meaning to know that I didn't go though it all for nothing. That others can benefit from it all.

Does community college while living at my own apartment count?

That was also decades ago, and about 1-2 years after I became incontinent. I was still trying to figure out what diapers actually worked, and back then there weren't many options. So I was predominantly using Attends 10 with wasitbands,  but had urge incontinence and would flood my diapers.

All too often I'd be sitting down in class and would leak. If it wasn't too bad I'd just stay seated till most everyone had left. Embarrassment aside, a few professors expressed sympathy, and everyone else didn't notice or didn't care. I'd then carry my bag to cover up as much as I could. I also kept a spare diaper in my bag if changing was needed, or a beeline home was a better option. And this was also when I figured out black pants were always needed.

At some point I started adding a booster pad too. At first it was a maxipad, but then I found baby diapers worked better and cheaper. Leaks still happened at times, but not as bad. They were always just delt with as best as I could. Unfortunately, diaper covers worn over disposables weren't even a thing back then. Neither were leak guards, sap, or any of the major improvements we now have. So as one can imagine I kept myself at a social distance from others, and didn't attempt to make any new friends.

I was going to say the same things as John. It sounds like reusable underwear just doesn't have enough capacity for your needs. Though you could add good diaper cover over the underwear which should help contain some of the leaks. You may also want to give pocket diapers a try, which might just be enough. Though you may actually need a higher quality pullup, or mid quality cloth-like disposable diaper.

I know, I know, you want to be as discrete as possible while also being enviromentally friendly and/or save on costs. Just consider a thick diaper that has done its job is way less noticable than a thin one that has leaked. People are not staring at your crotch, and are generally too engrossed in their own worlds to notice anyways. Not to mention you can adjust your wardrobe to help hide the added bulk, while also wearing black which will help hide bulk and any wet patches.

Also consider cotton is horrible for our environment. It strips the land or nutrients, which needs to be mined and trucked in. As well as requiring a massive amount of water to grow. Whereas plastic comes from underground oil and eventually when it's thrown away ends up being returned underground. I'm not saying plastic is environmentally friendly, but I am saying cotton isn't either.

As for costs. When you're incontinent there is no "can you afford diapers", it's you buy what you need first, then ask if you can afford things like tv/streaming, a mobile phone, or eating out.

1 hour ago, John Davis said:

I have mentioned elsewhere something I think should be mentioned here.  "Airing out" is a big help to avoid rashes.  When time permits, I air out after my shower by sitting on an open diaper or a cloth booster pad for my cloth diapers, just in case...  

However when time is at a premium, to speed up the airing out process the best method is to use a hair dryer on the "cool" air setting.  This way it requires only minutes and is very effective.  Your wife or female partner may not want you to borrow hers all the time, so just get your own.  The most inexpensive one will do a great job.  The smaller "travel" version is more than adequate and will fold up to require less storage space.🙂

--John

Yeah, airing out was in my original post here. And it can't be stated enough for the importance in preventing rashes. I had said laying out under a ceiling fan works really good, but have also used a hair dryer when time was short. The key takeaway is that moving or blowing air. 

Now that is so hot out, I thought I'd give this thread a bump so everyone can see it. Make sure you're taking care, and up your game for the time being.

23 hours ago, Scarth said:

O  i always called them Diapers and  you are right about  it  being clear  on  your needs  .. but  after  she  told me thats  what  they have  to  call them  i didnt  correct  them..  the  same  nurse  looked at  one of  my  better drys i had in  my  bag and commented on  how  much  better  they are  then what  the  hospital uses  

 

Lol, I've had that happen a LOT too. Whenever they see my diapers (Betterdry before, Crinklz now) I always get inquiries about them. How they look so much better, cost, comfort, you name it. And of course why the prints.

If you wear 24/7, the biggest thing to know is your body will adapt, eventually. It took me about 3-4 summers of wearing plastic diapers 24/7, but eventually I did stop excessively sweating down there. 

Until then, make sure your diaper is very absorbent and has a really good acquisition layer to act as a barrier between your diaper and skin. Any of the premium or abdl diaers out there are good for this. I'd say Abena/Seni quality, or better. And absolutely stay away from any diapers you can buy at a local store. They clog up from sweat in a matter of minutes.

If you normally don't wear a cloth like disposable or a pullup, don't switch to them just because of the heat and sweating. While it IS a good idea in the short term, in the long term it will actually set you back from adapting to the heat. If ever at all. Though there are exceptions to the rule, like if you know you'll be taking a shower in the next couple of hours. Or may need to change now, and then change again soon for whatever reason.

Until then, the only things you can really do to help is use a light amount of powder before diapering up. Make sure to spread it all around your front and back, but not too thick or that will also clog up the diaper. Keep up with any rashes too, they will spread like wild fire in the heat and humidity. And of course, it it gets too bad then give it some heavy consideration to changing into another plastic diaper early.

PS. I moved from Michigan to Florida shortly after becoming incontinent. That was a double wammy for my having to adapt. But I did, and so can anyone else.

13 hours ago, Scarth said:

I asked a nurse last time i was in the hospital and its there policy to call them briefs, the last thing i want is to make my nurses day harder when its out of there control.

 

I've run up against that too. Right after I requested a new diaper, the nurse said she'd get me a brief and be right back. And she came back with a pullup instead. So I had no choice but to correct her that I had asked for a diaper, not a pullup or brief and definitely not a flat pad to lay on.

The nurse also said they have to call them briefs or pads, but understood it would have been better to be clearer on the hospitals part. And also recognized the reinforced stigma only makes it worse. The nurse then said thanks for pointing it out and she'd bring it up to the hospital admin. So don't feel bad not pointing it out, the only way policies like this change is when people do complain.

For those that are urinary incontinent, how do you handle giving an on-demand pee sample for a urinalysis? And if you're also fecal incontinent has that ever made it more difficult or complicated?

Yesterday I had to give a pee sample as part of routine screening for a major upcoming surgery (total right knee replacement). I knew it was needed, so that morning I drank a whole bunch of water. I was given the cup and made my way to the bathroom. In the past I've just sat on the toilet, holding the cup under me. And over 10-15 minutes will slowly drip pee into the cup untill there is enough for the lab to test.

Except this time my IBS-D decided to flare up. As I was removing my pants, and before I could slide down my diaper, I had a sudden and very liquid bowel movement. It just came out of nowhere without any warning. So now I had to deal with a very messy diaper, clean up as best as I could, then sit there for 15 minutes to get the sample. The worst part was when I was done I didn't have a clean diaper on hand with me to change into. (I keep my supplies in my car as accidents like this are very rare for me). So I dropped off the sample and made a bee line out of there. Went home, and got cleaned and changed.

1 hour ago, John Davis said:

It is not childish to need to wear an adult diaper.  What is childish is to be in denial about your body's medical needs.  Wearing a diaper does not make you any less of an adult.

I am a bit conflicted here.  Do public displays of ABDL and infantilism create public attitudes that are antithetical to what we are trying to achieve? (please note that I am focusing on "public displays." I am not against anyone choosing to be ABDL.

Good discussion.

--John

I've watched the abdl forums for a looooonnnnggg time. And can say for certain they do not undermine what we are trying to achieve. At least the vast majority don't.  And when some abdl does crop up in a bad way they are shot right back down. Policed by their own community.

In fact, I'd say the 30-40% of abdls who also have a diaper fetish are hidden so far in the closet they might as well be top secret about it. And the rest just want the idea of adults wearing a diaper (regardless of a physical OR psychological need) to be more socially acceptable. No forced exposure in public, except in places where it's already ok to be less dressed (like a locker room or at the beach). They just want the ability to be in public, with a diaper on, and not have to feel embarrased or be in fear of being found out. Pretty much like the rest of us.

Same. I've already said this in a couple of other threads, but refusing to call them what they are only breeds confusion and heightens the stigma. I'm also a big advocate for calling things what they are. And if someone calls my diapers something else I will typically correct them on it.

Same, I'll use HC stalls as well. I can change in a normal stall, and have even changed in an airplane restroom, but the extra room and grab bars are always helpful. 

And yeah I've had people give disapproving looks or ask if I really need it. Just say you do, or ignore them.

4 hours ago, MichaelD said:

I think these calculation are a nice reference point - but you can see that yourself. If you don't take any urine-discoloring drugs now, you can simply look at the color of your urine. 

Almost transparent: Too much liquid
Light yellow: enough liquid
Dark yellow: too little liquit

 

That's close to the basic understanding I get from the recommendations too. Though I believe your estimating is a little off. As I understand it, it should be more like this:

Crystal clear: too much water, ok to cut back some

Almost transparent: well hydrated, keep it just like that

Light yellow: slightly dehydrated, you should probably drink more

Yellow: dehydrated, you need to drink a LOT more.

Dark yellow: severly dehydrated, get yourself to the hospital.

On 6/21/2023 at 7:37 AM, John Davis said:

I have mentioned that not all authorities agree on the recommended daily intake of water.  In recent data, Mayo Clinic notes that the U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine determined that an adequate daily fluid intake is: about 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) of fluids a day for men and about 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of fluids a day for women.  About 80% of that comes from water and the rest from food.

So, the 80% that comes from water and other fluids would mean about 12.4 cups of fluids (99 oz.) per day for men and about 9.2 cups (73.6 oz.) per day for women.

The 12 cups per day for men is close to what I am averaging.

All sources note that the figures must be adjusted for weight, level of activity, ambient temperature, etc.

Right, I did simplify it. They all agree 2 liters per day is a minimum, but the upper range does vary wildly on a slew of factors.

7 hours ago, zzyzx said:

While I'm normally wearing cloth, on my last vacation I had both NorthShore's MegaMax and Tykables (blue) Camo, plus both companies doubler's.  Neither completely work at night for me, however with Tykables doubler added (to either), most nights were good.  Because I currently need some protection during the day, but use the toilet during the day, I found the Camo's easier to use than the MegaMax, with the doubler.  That took care of the slight issue during the day and then the heavier wetting at night.  So, one diaper per day....  If I ever loose more control during the day, I'd have to change how I do things.

With the doubler up front, this was overkill for my normal needs, but it kept from hitting leaks at the legs when the front was well used earlier during sleep.

Next time I'm on vacation (or preparing / evaluating for) again I need to keep @Slomo's comment about lower tape placement in mind and see if I can make an adjustment in how I use things to get better utilization of the rest of the diaper before it leaks.

Keep in mind that some diaper shapes just don't work as good for some people. And it's not so easy to just adjust where the tape can land at, or how well angled you can tape it on. For me, there's no way I can adjust the middle tape on a megamax, tykables, or similar type of diaper, to get a half-decent fit.

One thing I did try though, is add my own third tape. One low enough that I actually could get a decently snug fit around my legs. And wow, that made all the difference. The megamax I had on could have lasted a full day and then some, and didn't even didn't come close to leaking even when it was saturated all the way up the back side.

Oh wow. I can't believe they made you keep taking it after you threw up the first time. Let alone after so many repeats. Doctors are supposed to know they can use multiple types of prep solution. Mine was called Clenpiq, it was a small 6-8oz bottle I drank half of in one gulp, then again 4 hours later in another gulp. I did almost throw that stuff up, and I'm sure if it was mixed with the electrolyte water like yours was I probably would have. 

Why they can't make it tast less awful I have no idea. But mine didn't tast like it was supposed to either, not even close. My last one 10 years ago had me use mirlax and dulcolax. No bad taste, and no inclination of throwing up. Same end result.

And wow 27 megamax diapers? That's way more than I would have guessed could have been needed. Then again you did effectively go through the prep twice in a row. At least you had the supplies and didn't have to result to those medical grade pullups. I don't even want to imagine that.....

Not Trest, but I did try Megamax. And was kind of disappointed with them. They leaked on me before they even came close to half full, right at the front of my legs. Not a surprise though, Megamax has their lower tapes shifted up towards the middle of the back wings. Which means I will never be able to get a snug fit around my legs with them. Really with any diaper that uses a tape landing zone, and "no lower tapes". Which Trest is even more extreme with their tape placement, so I have no interest in trying them.