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I understand your feeling here and I also had them first - however - not every disability is visible and chronically bladder or bowel problems are a disability that give you the right to use this toilets. If really someone‘s waiting then it‘s the same as with all other toilets. Interestingly I had never problems with people who are in a wheelchair. The really agressive ones are normally elderly persons who even can walk and don’t understand that incontinence is not only restricted to elderly people… In such a case I just ask them why they have a problem - I have to wear pad‘s because I can’t hold it anymore and if they can’t hold it for these minutes then they better use them too…

I use what ever I'm nearest too, honestly a huge problem in my area is actually restrooms. apart from ones in cafes, and one in the mall, finding them is hard- and if you're not in the town, well.. you have a choice. smell the rest of the way there, or turn yourself around and get a change at home. recently they had a carnival here with rides and stalls. not a single restroom in sight, not one another thing they don't like here is if you enter the cafe for the simple purprose of using the restroom they get funny about it and are like we're not a service station, and if everyone stopped here to use the toilet, we'd never get any food served

So the discussion about whether that is OK or not I actually already had, because there are a few wise guys who believe if I do not go in there with a wheelchair I am not allowed to... Fortunately, this discussion is at least in Europe relatively quickly ended. Most disabled toilets are only accessible with a special key (Euro WC Key) which you can only get with a suitable disabled pass or a suitable medical certificate (chronic bowel and bladder diseases). I usually use the toilet also because there is a sink in it and you can clean yourself.