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Shh...it's a secret


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For all those how wear a diaper. Part time, nightly, or 24/7. How much of a secret is it that you wear a diaper? Are you completely open to the world (purposeful exposure not tolerated), or matter-of-fact open about them to anyone it may be relavent to? Disclosed to a select few, but only because you felt you had to? Maybe normally hidden and only discussed after others confront you, or do you steer away from any such discussion you might need them? Or maybe do you keep everything diaper related top secret like fort knoxx, and/or completely deny they even exist?

 

I personally won't lie about about my diapers, and while I am legitimately urinary incontinent, before that happened I've also always seen being diaper dependent as a physical part of myself. Maybe not the same but somewhat similar to BIID (body identity integration disorder). As I definitely didn't choose to be this way, tried to deny it before, then realized I'm better of having accepted it. For me, it's never a "what type of underwear am I using", it's more of a "diapers are a part of my life, and I refuse to hide any part of who I am".

Personally, I'm pretty open about my need for diapers (both physically and mentally), though mostly just with friends and family. And I normally keep them somewhat hidden (but not secret) to the rest of the world- unless it comes up for some reason. Of which I normally stick to the physical aspect of my need for them.

So my immediate family knows, as do my close friends. Some coworkers limited knowledge, but I've also asked them to be discrete so coworkers don't know (of which I've sometimes prodded to try and confirm). I've also had random people find out (beach, masseuse, doctors, etc). Some of which were curious about them which led to a good conversation, others just left said confirmation at that and moved on. And of course a very few people jumped to their own misconclusions and tried to make an argument about it, which I've always just felt sad for them and done my best to move on.

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My usage started off dealing with secondary nocturnal enuresis, so started with wearing at night.  Now due to bladder issues related to BPH, I also need some level of protection during the day, and mostly use the toilet during the day....

I won't claim to be "totally open" about this, and don't go around telling just to tell....  Parents (when they were alive) and siblings know, and a few others have been told how I deal with my issues.  In general most folks, if they notice, won't say a thing.  So, it typically doesn't come up.  Otherwise, it is disclose as needed.  The only time I've had someone comment on my diapers was while folding them (I wear cloth) after washing and drying them at a camp laundry while on vacation.  A lady came in while I was folding, and commented that they would make good towels.  I agreed they could, and then it dawned on her what they were, and that ended the conversation.

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Very few people know of my incontinence.  Those are close family, medical practitioners, and a very few others whom I trust.  It is not so much that I am "hiding" the fact as that I do not advertise it.  If you met me, there is no reason why you would suspect that I am wearing diapers.🙂  I wear highly absorbent premium diapers with a booster pad, a thin cotton pullup, and plastic pants, but my jeans and trousers have been selected to conceal the diaper very effectively.  My biggest giveaway would not be my person, but the delivery of large boxes and a lot of trash I generate.

--John

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but also because people might feel uncomfortable.

this is what I imagine most normal folk's reaction would be and then there'd be awkwardness for both of us.  I imagine there'd be pretending like like they didn't see it, and then me trying to figure out if they did and ready myself to explain something about myself I would much rather keep private. There's too much stigma around having to wear diapers so aside from the few people in my life that do know + this group, I am Mission Impossible about it.  I don't want to think that people are going to be worried about me leaking on their furniture, or thinking I'm defective and pitying me, or having anxiety thinking that someone is grossed  out by it.  I guess that is probably the shame part that i worry about and internalize the crap out of because, who do you talk to about it?  

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Good point, Zombie.  The awkwardness can work two ways.  Those not accustomed to being around incontinent people often do not know how to handle the subject.  They may feel embarrassed because they think we should feel embarrassed (although that may be incorrect).

--John

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It's good to see mostly positive replies here. Just to clarify, I too do not going around just telling others I wear a diaper. IF it comes up for some reason, then I'm pretty open about it. Personally, I believe it helps to dispell that stigma and awkwardness,  one person at a time.

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