The Ultimate Taboo?

[John Davis]

What is the "Ultimate Taboo?"  With the exception of murder, rape, and cannibalism I think it may be fecal incontinence.😟  This particularly is true of the general public who have little knowledge or understanding of FI.

For those who must know that you wear diapers, do you tell them you are "incontinent" or "bowel incontinent."  I confess to not sharing the "bowel" part unless it is to a medical practitioner who absolutely must know.  My dermatologist who conducts a full-body scan sees my diaper.  I had mentioned to her beforehand that I am "incontinent."  I certainly did not volunteer that I am bowel incontinent.

What about you?

--John

[zzyzx]

1 hour ago, John Davis said:

What is the "Ultimate Taboo?"  With the exception of murder, rape, and cannibalism I think it may be fecal incontinence.😟  This particularly is true of the general public who have little knowledge or understanding of FI.

For those who must know that you wear diapers, do you tell them you are "incontinent" or "bowel incontinent."  I confess to not sharing the "bowel" part unless it is to a medical practitioner who absolutely must know.  My dermatologist who conducts a full-body scan sees my diaper.  I had mentioned to her beforehand that I am "incontinent."  I certainly did not volunteer that I am bowel incontinent.

What about you?

--John

@John Davis: I fortunate enough to mostly not need to deal with this at this point in time.  However, the last medication added definitely has an impact on on the lower GI track.  I would say based on how things are now, I used to be constipated.  Based on how I "sense" things, I think I get away with more of timed toileting (around meals, mainly near breakfast), as urges in both areas may have short timers before I need to be in the bathroom.  If I ever have a stroke, I expect it will be game over in this area -- at least for a while during recovery.  So, at this point, it is just "incontinent" for me.

[John Davis]

Z, I think "just incontinent" is enough for all of us.😇

--John

[Slomo]

I generally don't mention my bowell issues to others either. Though I have always been up front about it with my doctor- when it was relavent to do so.

[Brian]

On 4/8/2023 at 12:35 PM, John Davis said:

What is the "Ultimate Taboo?"  With the exception of murder, rape, and cannibalism I think it may be fecal incontinence.😟  This particularly is true of the general public who have little knowledge or understanding of FI.

For those who must know that you wear diapers, do you tell them you are "incontinent" or "bowel incontinent."  I confess to not sharing the "bowel" part unless it is to a medical practitioner who absolutely must know.  My dermatologist who conducts a full-body scan sees my diaper.  I had mentioned to her beforehand that I am "incontinent."  I certainly did not volunteer that I am bowel incontinent.

What about you?

--John

@John Davis

usually the only way I would say that I was double incontinent, would be if I was in front of a medical professional or there was a need for someone to know that. If I'm talking about incontinence, usually the word "Incontinent" indicates loss of some sort of control.. I have to take the step of saying that I was incontinent both ways on my medical records because I did not want someone to think that it was something that just came up and comes and goes. I have been Incontinent on and off all through my life And the easiest way to deal with it is to just embrace it and run with it, because it's a lot easier than having to do laundry every 8 minutes, or having to worry about cleaning up a huge mess.

If it's not necessary to disclose it, I wouldn't disclose it to someone who doesn't need to know. that is based on experience, and I've seen people who are very accepting of incontinence, or need to wear diapers, for whatever reason, and I've also seen it where someone is dead is dead set against it, which means they are not accepting nor are they tolerant of it. I'm glad that most of the people that I deal with understand that, but I have dealt with situations where somebody wanting to wear diapers are needing to wear diapers for whatever reason, Is wanting to wear, but someone is not accepting or tolerant of it.

luckily however more and more people are being more tolerant and more accepting of incontinence, which I think is a lot easier to accept than someone who may want to wear diapers for other reasons, but at least there are more people that are more accepting of incontinence. the thing that people have to realize is people that are dealing with incontinence are dealing with it the way they need to deal with it for their own protection as well as their own way of being confident that what they are doing is proper. if a person has their own peace of mind, because they know that they're dealing with something that can be annoying or inconvenient at times, Then they feel a lot better because they know they are dealing with something that is not really dangerous per se, as opposed to something where you would have a medical issue that requires medical medical medical intervention because of the seriousness of the problem. and continents can be serious, but as I said in my case incontinence is a one on my scale of 1 to 10 on the things that I consider to be important to worry about.

I have incontinence and have accepted it, And as such taken the necessary steps to be able to deal with it. sometimes things change and you may have to change Some of the ways you deal with it as incontinence progresses or may get worse, But if you have a good plan being incontinent is not a big deal because people that deal with it daily have ways they deal with it And they deal with it with the tact and skill that many people learn, and some people may even be scared about it, but that's why we need to be here to help others come because incontinence is not something to be worried about, as long as there are no other medical problems that are being dealt with with it. the most important thing is that incontinence is something that can be managed And regardless of what you decide to do to manage, there are ways to deal with it, without causing too much difficulty for the people that are dealing with it.

Brian

 

[chestnut]

I agree that it is the ultimate taboo.  And it is hard to hide esp when you can't change for a while.

[John Davis]

Chestnut, my nightmare would be to have a fecal accident in public and not be able to immediately change. I have agonized during foreign travel about situations that could trap me in such a situation -like a small tour group in a van.😱

--John

[Dandelion]

On 4/11/2023 at 10:39 AM, Brian said:

@John DavisI've also seen it where someone is dead is dead set against it, which means they are not accepting nor are they tolerant of it.

If anyone took issue with my choice to use a diaper to manage my FI, I’d allow them to experience exactly what happens when I go without one.  They’d probably change their mind pretty quick!

[Brian]

19 hours ago, Dandelion said:

If anyone took issue with my choice to use a diaper to manage my FI, I’d allow them to experience exactly what happens when I go without one.  They’d probably change their mind pretty quick!

@Dandelion

I would agree with that sentiment! Too many people worry about what is gonna happen to somebody's dignity or something or are worrying about things that they don't need to worry about, and they get their nose stuck in something that they don't need to. People that wear diapers as a solution for incontinence do it because they think it is the best thing that they can do to help themselves. If you don't have any control whatsoever, it makes one hell of a difference, because you can at least tolerate it and deal with it as it comes along, and rather have some ability to find an appropriate way to deal with it, and I have a lot of friends that have done just that, and they have done it with class with dignity and they really understand exactly what's going on.

People who are dead set against people wearing diapers for any reason after they think it's age appropriate to, they need to understand that diapers can be worn by anyone from a baby all the way up until 100 years old for example, and it really doesn't matter what they think or what they believe, it's just a bunch of taboos and stigmas and things that everybody has been told and taught and has been drilled into our head since we were born as little kids. We've been told that diapers are terrible awful no good very bad and all these other things in that we shouldn't be wearing them because it is embarrassing. Say that it's more embarrassing to h....not everyone agrees that the solution May be appropriate for someone, but everybody has a decision to make.

I'm glad I made the decision I did back in 2019, and I am so happy that I went 24/7 in 2020. A lot of people don't understand that there's a lot of stress involved in many things in life, and I have dealt with stress most of it. What I've learned is that I try to remove as much stress as I possibly can for my life because there's a lot of stuff in life that you don't need to stress over, you don't have to worry over, and there are ways to deal with almost anything that you deal with. Based on what I've had to deal with all my life dealing with cerebral palsy and with other disabilities and other conditions, wearing diapers and using them is the least worrisome of the things that I have to worry about, and I'd rather wear a diaper and use it rather than worry about what somebody else says, because if they were totally incontinent and didn't have any control at all, they would be wondering how they would take care of it, and I say in my case diapers are a good match. It depends on the person who decides to just make the decision what aid they use, but it is theirs to make the decision that is, not anyone elses to criticize. Once they realize that there are people that need diapers, they wouldn't be so close minded. There are people that need diapers, and I agree with the above, if they were worried, If a person wasn't wearing a diaper, and they had to deal with that, the person that's picking on you would be so quick to probably change his tune. The problem is the people that usually are doing the picking on somebody else don't realize that it's not good for either person, but some people are just meanie heads and they don't understand what the heck is going on, so when you're having a disability related condition that you need to diapers for, it's a realistic expectation that you're going to use them. As I said before, diapers are not necessarily just for incontinence, but they do have medical value for other reasons as well.

Brian