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There's probably something to be said for trying to stay dry, but there's no science behind it. If you're going to leak, you're going to leak. For doctors or others in the community to say that you don't want to become reliant on diapers, and by wearing them it's somehow a detriment to your continence, I don't really think there's any proof to back up that conversation. I use the bathroom when I can, but during the times when I can't, it's unavoidable. I don't think there's any trick it. Maybe I'm off...

I've been incontinent for decades. Along the way I've picked up on some things that may help others. Got some of your own? Add them in. -A thick diaper that's done its job is WAY less noticeable than a thin one that's leaked. -Black pants hide wet spots and make it harder to see your diaper outline. -Plastic backed diapers contain smells the best, and tend to sag much less than cloth. -A diaper cover will help you notice any leaks before a wet spot appears. -A PUL diaper cover will also silence most plastic diapers. -Premium/thick diapers actually cost less "per day" than thin ones. Mostly because you'll need changing less often, and will go through fewer diapers each day. -Remove your diapers from their packaging for at least a week before needing them. They come compressed, and allowing them to expand some means they will absorb and wick much better when used. -Fold the diaper in half length-wise. This will create a center channel that help with absorption and also removes the folds from packaging. -When you do get a good fit, try to memorize where the tapes ended up at. And next time put the tapes in that same spot. No more worrying about getting a good fit, and no more having to readjust. -When putting on a diaper, avoid touching or rubbing where the tapes should end up at. Otherwise you're depositing some of the oil on your hands to that spot, which will weaken the tape stickiness. Also, once stuck on, give them a quick rub. This will help improve their grip and prevent the tapes from popping off later. -Staying well hydrated means your pee will smell much less. -Wear one pant size larger, with a comfort or relaxed fit, and you'll be able to hide your diaper much better. -People generally don't stare at your crotch, and genrally won't notice your diaper as much as you think. -And finally, wearing a diaper is neither illegal nor immoral. No matter your reason. You really can wear them without worrying of being caught or found out. And if you are, just say it's personal and you don't want to talk about it. No explanations or reasons are necessary on your part (unless you want to).

Definitely see that point, but some of the landing zone diapers have been a huge help to me. The Incontrol diapers are fantastic. Yes, I still struggle with the bottom tape and comfort, but the features they have and capacity has allowed me to have more ease of use, and freedom to change when it's convenient. I also have noticed I use fewer of them, and save money. I'd like to point out that i don't work for them, I just really appreciate their products. 😁 I think it's awesome they sponsored this site.

Count me in on the no lading zoners for the reasons given above .. they leak on me so much more when the diaper is not that wet

i think we all work up a lot of anxiety about how others will react or judge us making it a much bigger deal in our heads. for me its a fear of being made fun of as a kid still in diapers or still wetting the bed. that did happen a few times but i worried about it all the time. Getting over that can be hard but. at this point in my life i really dont care what others think of how i manage my incon. and dont feel any need to tell people that normally wouldn't see me in my underwear

Most days light with bouts of moderate. There are days I can just wear a couple of pads. Other days when I'm feeling the OAB it's moderate requiring more protection. It all started with post matriculation, then leaking, and then OAB. I've tried meds and even the docs say I'm not ready for surgery. I'm content managing with pads and or pullups. Full time pullups is about where I am but when I can I try to use regular underwear with pads. I'm not giving up easily.

Oops, posted that last reply in the wrong spot. The best diapers are all going to be plastic backed. You'll want a higher rise in the back and front, closer to your actual waist line (near the belly button). This way you'll get a better seal around the top, and even if it's a lot you won't have to worry about leaks over the top. You'll also want tall standing leak guards, with a snug fit all the way around your legs. My opinion, but Betterdry (or any of their Crinklz variations) fits that bill the best. Everyone's body shape is different though, so you're best off getting samples or a single bag from several different places. Test them under several different conditions, and narrow down what really works best for you.

Most any good quality diaper cover should protect against fecal leaks, I personally prefer the Gary activewear PUL cover as it also help muffle and crinkling from my diaper. Though outright stopping any odor is always going to be a challenge for any diaper cover. Mostly because of the concave shape to the small or our back, but also because even just moving around or sitting down will let air (and odors) escape. For real good odor control I've seen the best approach is an internal deodorant taken daily. Anything containing chlorophylln copper (such as Nullo) or bismuth subgallate (such as Devrom) should work good for that. Thankfully I don't have to deal with bowell accidents all too often, so I haven tried using them myself. But from what I've seen it's supposed to be worth it if you have normal occurances.

@John Davis Thank you again Sir! The way that you can deal with a situation is to put it on a priority scale. When I first started having problems with accidents, I realized that this was a 10 on the scale of I have to figure out what's going on here, and once I realized that I was having the problem I was having, then I was able to determine that I better find a way to deal with it, found that it was easier for me to deal with diapers than to deal with constantly having to get up in the middle of the night, losing sleep and being uncomfortable and and also the stigma of not having control. when I finally decided what to do, and I finally went to the doctor, asked for help and got the diapers that I needed after testing a lot of garbage, I finally got something that worked for me, and then severity of the priority scale went from a 10 down to a one, And incontinence is the least of my because I have other medical conditions that may be something I have to worry about. wearing a diaper is easy, dealing with other types of issues like diabetes or weight or something like that Maybe a tad bit different, but putting a diaper on and changing it when necessary Is it really easy. My parents told me when I was a kid that it was OK to be unsure and it's OK to be afraid, but you should always try to learn from your experiences And each time you learn you get better, and you get more confident so that you can do things for yourself and you can take more chances, because you learn how to with a situation and master it. the. the problem with incontinence is that technically you don't have mastery of your bladder or bowels, and that is by no fault of your own, it might be because of a disease, or a malfunction in your body, or the fact that some of your body parts don't work, and if those are things that exactly what the situation is, you don't have the ability to master it, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over trying to do so! you should also and I know you understand that being able to deal with it is the big thing, Because if you can teach people empathy and understanding over something that may be uncomfortable for others, then you will be able to be that support, and you will know because you know how to handle it. Brian

Wow, Brian. I really like what you said. --John

the most important thing that I think I could tell parents of bed wetters is that it does happen! there are many people who this condition, And sometimes what happens is that children's bladders and bowels do not develop at the same speed, and it may take longer for to be able to mature, so you should always be supportive supportive of your children because sometimes one of the most difficult things to deal with is that there are people out there who may think of bad things when it comes to bad wetting. Children all mature at different ages in different speeds. Some of us are lucky enough to be party trained and be able to be fully out of diapers by a certain amount of time or a certain age, while others may end up dealing with bedwetting and are incontinence issues call and some of that is due to the fact that the i'll just still growing and may not be maturing as fast in certain areas than others, sometimes they grow they might grow too fast, or maybe they might not be maturing at the same speed as others, so you must be supportive and be there to support them, because when you deal with things like bed wetting or incontinence, it can be very traumatic to a young child who is trying to figure out why they just wet the bed and they don't know why. I have always been the kind of guy that would say let the kid be the kid. Sometimes kids end up dealing with trauma or other things that cause them stress or worry, And the best thing you can do is be there for them and try to help them through it. if that means that you will allow them to wear diapers longer, then that is what needs to happen. far too often fear and fear and peer pressure can be like a positive and negative on a battery, and a negative and a positive always repel each other. Part of allowing the kid to be a kid is to let the kid grow with their own speed, and sometimes kids need diapers for a longer period of time than others. if you're disabled for example That also may mean that you may wear diapers further into life than most kids do, and that is why it is always important to be supportive loving and understanding. I remember dealing with several of my younger friends, who are afraid of the stigma or being found out and then made fun of. incontinence Is something that you may not be able to control, so it is not the kids fault, and you should always look at it that way. Bedwetting is also something that you should think of in the same way. it is not the child's fault that they are wetting The bed, Or having accidents, And no matter what you try to do, the best thing is to try to be supportive, because in time it will pass, And if not, appropriate things can be done to help them whether you allow them to use diapers or you end up going a medical route by using some sort of treatment or medication. regardless of what type of solution that you use whether it be diapers or medicine or some other type of support system, never ever chastise the kid for bed wetting: Some kids just don't have the control as others, and some people that are disabled may not have as much control as others do as well. diapers are there to help you if you need them, but even if you do use them, you should always be supportive and be there for your child because the most important thing is to allow them to grow up with as little stress as possible, because you're only a kid once, and if you're constantly worried about being found out or picked on, that can make your life crazy. The most important thing is to throw the stigmas out the window! don't try to use something that you were told as a kid as a reason to force a child to train, of diapers. you want to be able to help them, and if they're having bed wetting issues, then there is a reason to use diapers and other supports. it may be that the child wears diapers until they're 15 or 16 are longer, depending on the severity of the situation. you may also want to take your child to the doctor for support as well, because the doctor will want to check to make sure that the child is still developing properly, or to see if there's any problem, that can be somehow treated. regardless of how you take care of the situation you should always be there for your child, and have an open mind and allow them to grow, and if they are dealing with bed wetting issues or if they're dealing with incontinence, the best thing to do is to be there for em. Diapers are not the enemy here, diapers are things that you can use as a treatment option, but the kid should not be in front of or otherwise chastised because they have to wear diapers. Many people are incontinent or have bed wet in the past, And if, like my younger brothers, they are allowed to continue to do what they do, eventually they will hopefully grow out of it, and if they don't, at least they have the support of family friends and confidants, who support them regardless of what happens! The best thing to do is to support children as they grow. Far too often parents will find something wrong with what their kids do and they will give them heck for it. Bedwetting And incontinence are issues that might need to be addressed throughout their life, And the thing I want to make sure people understand is a kid is only a kid once. Let them be the kid they want to be, and be there for them, because some friends of mine are incontinent or they've had bed wetting issues, and the more support they can get throughout this throughout this time that they deal with the better it will be for the child. adults grow up, and they end up dealing with so much responsibility, and part of the responsibility means that they must take control of what they're dealing with in their lives. being a child, you have the luxury of time because you can be a kid, and if you have the right supports, Bed wetting And incontinence can be dealt with appropriately, as long as you have an open mind and you know that a child is trying to do the best they can. Even when they sometimes wet the bed, Or they deal with other issues as they grow, you should always be there for them and always remember that a kid should be a kid, and be allowed to live the best life possible, because soon a child will be an adult, and they will have other responsibilities and memories of how they are treated as a kid, so the best thing you can do is be supportive, don't pick on them, don't chastise them, don't make them feel bad, Because bed wetting and in continents are things that are easily controlled and dealt with, so long as parents and caregivers do not make a big deal out of it. sure, you should have it checked out, and a doctor should be advised, but a child should not be made fun of or somehow made to feel bad because they have this condition. It's more common than you can think of, And there have been a lot of adults out there like michael Landon or Suzanne Somers or others that have had these issues, and it is more common than you think. Parents should remember kids will be kids, and the easiest way that you can help them deal with wetting the bed or incontinence issues should be to take a stance where it is not a big deal, it is not made light of, And it is something that is normal, and it is normal part of life! some people cannot train, some people continue to have wet beds even as they grow older, so the best thing you can do is be there for them and provide them the help they need and support, and hopefully bed wetting will not be something that is traumatic for a young child. A child should be a child, be allowed to make mistakes, and if that means they wear diapers longer, or they find other ways to deal with it, that is the way it's done. There be a kid that has a diaper on, then not have a diaper and be wetting my bed, And when I started having accidents myself three years ago, I knew that I needed help, and that is the way that I choose to handle it, but you should always be there for your children, because if the worst thing that can happen to a kid is that they wet their bed or they have incontinence, and they do better otherwise, then that's the easiest thing to help them deal with, meaning that on a scale of 1 to 10 incontinence would be a one and other things would be a 10, because incontinence is not the end of the world, is just something that needs to be dealt with, and children need to be given the understanding that incontinence is not a big deal, and that parents will help them deal with it, and the best way to do that is to have a positive attitude even when a person has a bad day. if a parent is there for them all the way through, it doesn't matter what they do, they will always have the support and love, because incontinence is not a big deal And a wet bed is nothing that needs to be made a big deal out of, But children know what they have done, and as long as they're given responsibility to be able to take care of what they can take care of, and the support of their parents, anything can be achieved! the important thing is that love will conquer all! Parents know that they're kids need support, and that's what they're there for. if a parent understands exactly what is going on, they can easily help them deal with an issue. With an open mind, anything can happen, and if you make a big deal out of or a wet bed and you end up making it sound like it's the crime of the century, a child will be afraid of it, and will probably try to hide it from you. being open honest and above board about it, will help a child to deal with it. i've had two brothers that had that situation happen to them, and they grew out of it. the thing is you have to be patient and loving and understanding, and not condescending and negative and negative! you want to make sure your kids know that you are always there for them and you don't want to make a big deal out of a wet bed or incontinence, because incontinence is not the end of the world And a wet bed is easily changed, but you always have to let the child know that it's not their fault, and that you were there to support them no matter what: this is always something that I've always been told, that your parents will be there for you regardless of what happens, regardless of how old you are, you will always have your parents around for as long as you can have them, and they always should instill the fact that bed wetting is a common thing and should not be worried about. That's how I helped one of my friends When he was about 9, he was afraid that because he was having wet, that somebody would end up finding out about it and picking on them. when somebody suggested that he wear a diaper at night, he had a major problem with it because he was afraid someone would find out about it and think of him as a baby. my quick thinking and understanding of the situation along with my empathy was useful, because this gentleman was told by me that sometimes people have a problem with their bladders or their bowels and they don't grow as fast as others, And so diapers may be necessary, and that they help you, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Once he realized that it wasn't a big deal, and that no one would be picking on him about it, he was able to deal with the situation and it wasn't a big deal to him, and I'm glad that he was able to deal with it and I was able to help him. My best advice is to love your children and support them all the way, regardless of what happened, because if you are in a position to be able to help them and that you understand their issues, it will help them to be able to feel that they can confidently come to you and deal with any situation. because my parents were so open and honest and understanding, regardless of what I did, good or bad they were always there for me, and I had situations where I would wet the bed a few times myself, and they just thought of it as no big deal, and that was the best thing, because nobody made fun of us because of our disabilities, and nobody made fun of us because we had to wear diapers, or because we wet the beds. that is why a diaper is like a tool, and it is not something that should be thought of as a negative item, but there are too many stigmas out there that have been built into our heads since we were kids to tell us that after a certain age diapers are bad! that is false! Brian

This is just a notice: I posted this again because I tried to edit it because I gotten something, And apparently the post had already been posted, because I had clicked the post button when I wasn't finished. I go back into edit it and I'm able to edit it for only a few more minutes, where it says that the post can no longer be edited, and I'm not sure if this is something that @Incont May have to look into because that is really strange I've never had it set where you couldn't edit a post after a certain time limit. Usually you can edit it as many times as you need, but I just wanted to bring it to his attention. rather than trying to lose the pole entire post, I posted again in its complete form, perhaps Mike can take a look and see if there's a problem with the way the settings have been set, I don't think daily diapers act like this, so I was just curious if the settings may be a tad bit different over here than over there. Brian In my mind, a stigma is simply something that is put in your mind when you are a kid. You end up having the ability to live your life as a young child and do whatever you do, and you use your diapers as normal. it is normal for a little kid to wear diapers and use them, it is quite normal for them to wet themselves mess themselves and to want to take their diapers off and run sometimes. There is no stigma attached with wearing diapers when you're a kid that you need them, Because you have people that support it, and you have people that understand it. When you deal with potty training, you end up gaining the need a potty train, if possible. some people take longer to train than others, and for those, a stigma could develop because somebody thinks that they're not trying hard enough, and they're putting these ideas in people's heads that they're not doing something that they should. They're using a diaper when they should be using the toilet, or their wetting their beds and should be using the toilet. These stigmas are based on what our parents think is appropriate based on our age and our ability. parents want us to be out of diapers as quickly as possible, so they don't have to deal with having to change them or purchase them, and sometimes kids don't quickly train, or they try to train, and they end up back in diapers for longer period of time, until they are ready. you have to be physically emotionally psychologically ready to be able to do it, otherwise our parents asking us to train is like asking me to give Mikey $1,000,000! I wish I could do it, but that's impossible! a kid has to be ready to be able to handle the situation, and that requires his body to be ready in his mental maturity must be ready to do it. if the kid doesn't have that ability, they're not gonna be successful, and sometimes even when they try, they fail. Stigma is based on other people's opinion as to what the norm should be for somebody that is say 4-5 or six years old. somebody sets the norm that says 5 year old kids don't wear diapers or kids don't wear diapers after so much time, and they go to school, so the first thing they wanna do is train you. And if you're having trouble training, that can be something that can be detrimental to the kid because they because they think there's something wrong with them, when in reality all it is is maybe their bladders are smaller and they need to grow, or maybe they're having trouble holding whatever they're trying to hold, before they get to the bathroom. You can do a lot of different things like cut the water, cut the soda, cut the caffeine, or do other things to help you at night when you're a kid, but if you are a guy or a young lady that needs to use the bathroom, it's going to happen, even I have made a mistake in what the bed a few times myself, but it isn't for lack of trying, And I can tell you from experience, that sometimes you miss, sometimes you don't hit the target, and you make a mess and all you do is resign yourself to the fact that you just peed yourself, or peed all over the floor. that can give you another stigma like you failed. I can also tell you from experience that potty training is difficult for some people, impossible for very few, But there is a possibility that that may be a possibility for people who have medical and have to wear diapers. For me I was trained early, but I was always prepared in case I had to use the bathroom, because my parents knew that my disability may end up precluding me from getting to the toilet on time, so they were always around to help me if I wanted to get there quickly, because my mom was saying to me to me that she would rather get me there fast, and have me not get hurt rather than having me worry about making a mess, because a mess can be cleaned up, but broken bones or other problems are harder to deal with. If you have people that support you like I said in my earlier post, stigmas earn is bad I don't believe, because the people that know of your condition and know why that you have these issues aren't there to make judgments on you. the general public makes judgments based on what they see or what they think is appropriate based on the norms of the community. in the incontinence community or the diaper wearing community, It is expected that people are going to wear diapers and, and we don't judge people's need or judge people's reasoning for using diapers. we come together and we help them. if they question themselves and wonder why, we try to help them deal with whatever it is that they deal with. we answer their questions as truthfully as they can be answered, and we always try to answer the question they ask, rather than to try to run them down a rabbit hole and tell them that their wrong order it's bad or whatever. the idea of being in a community like this is to support people and get support from people. even I have challenges like everyone else: for the longest time I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with me And why am I dealing with incontinence now. I was kind of relieved because I Thought that it would be a good idea to wear diapers, but I figured what will people say What will people think What would people believe. these are all stigmas that were brought forward to me to me after I continued to have accidents, and then I realized that a stigma is only what somebody thinks, what somebody believes or what some people use as a judgment poll to decide where a person should be, and whether a person should be wearing diapers or not. it is not the public's responsibility to judge the reasoning why someone does what they do, or why someone may decide to treat incontinence in a different way. it is the public's responsibility to be supportive of those that are dealing with issues that may be uncomfortable to not only the person that is dealing with it, but too others that are dealing with the same problem. it is not the fault of individuals that they have incontinence, but it is our responsibility as citizens to support them and help them to deal with it, so they can be and continue to be the best people they can be, supporting our community, because without support, we are in trouble. I don't care how old you are whether you are a baby, whether you are two years old, whether you're 50 years old, or older Call there are many reasons why people are dealing with incontinence, there are people that still believe the old wives tales: The ones that set ages that people should be potty trained by, the ones that set miles songs for child to be able to gain, and wild milestones are an important part of growing up, setting a milestone that says that a person needs to be trained by a certain amount of time, is only something that is probably set by our parents because they don't want to deal with diapers anymore. sometimes you have to deal with diapers regardless of what they deal with, and I'm glad that my mom was the kind of person that was a matter of fact, but always was loving and supportive, even when I was trying to figure out to myself why I felt the way I did, the fact is that incontinence is something that happens to many, and the way you react to it and the way you treat it while it is your decision, is the way that Help you to deal with the issue. If you are empathetic and understand others struggles, it is easier for you to be able to take it in hand and say, it's no big deal, people do have incontinence and they deal with it all the time, just don't worry about what other people say, do what you think is right, and we'll be here to help you and support you. I also think that stigmas were something that was put in our heads because they didn't want us to feel like we were going to get hammered with peer pressure because somebody that's older may wear diapers. Peer pressure is something that is very very very strong, And sometimes peer pressure is what someone needs to help them get over a bump in the road, And sometimes that helps a person learn the skills that they need, but sometimes pressure can be detrimental, or hurt somebody. This is why when I have young friends that have problems with incontinence, I always tell them that it's not their fault, and wearing diapers is not bad, I always try to pull the positive into what Is considered negative, And I always tell them that it's OK, Because your diaper will help you. it is not your fault that you have you have the problem that you're dealing with, and sometimes you just need to get bigger, and the problem will hopefully fix itself, but sometimes the problem does not, but that doesn't make a person any less of an individual because they were diapers, and the good thing about diapers is, you don't have to worry about wet pants, just your wet diapers and an occasional leak here and there. The thing is you have to turn a stigma into something that is not bad anymore. Luckily times have changed and people are more understanding of what incontinence is and why people use the things they used to deal with it. Today, incontinence is something that is dealt with with professionalism and tact, and it's not something that is made to be a negative where people would judge a person because of it period To judge someone because of incontinence is the bad thing to do, because even when somebody has their own issues, we all have issues of what we must deal with And sometimes incontinence is the demon that someone is trying to deal with, and the way they deal with it is to wear diapers or to deal with it in another medical fashion period Since this is an incontinence form, we will just say that people can use medicines or incontinence products, and it's up to the person who is dealing with the situation. This is why I'm always empathetic: there are many things that go wrong in life, and there's many things that are really bad. one of the things that I learned is that I have a lot of things that I'm dealing with My age, my disability, my mobility, my mental state, and everything that I'm dealing with. I'm also dealing with incontinence, and other medical issues. if you deal with incontinence, In my mind, the lowest of the things that I'm worried about, because I have a way to deal with it. Sure you're gonna deal with incontinence, but on a scale of 1 10, 10 being the worst possible thing that you can deal with, and a one being the least, incontinence is a one on the scale, because I have the right attitude, the right support, the right equipment, and I understand that it's not my fault, and I'm not going to pick on somebody or make them feel bad because of it. stigmas do that, and I think that's part of the problem, we need to get rid of these old stigmas that say diapers are bad. Let's put it this way: if you had a choice between wearing wet pants, or wearing a diaper and then wetting your diaper, would you rather have a wet diaper that you change and your dry pants, or would you rather have no diaper And wet your pants and have a whole bunch of mess to clean up? the answer probably would be that it would be more comfortable to wear a diaper, because that way at least you're dealing with the situation, and you don't have to worry too much. Sure you're gonna have to clean up afterwards, But if it wasn't for a diaper it would be a lot worse if you didn't have one on. The problem is that you have people that put stigmas in people's heads that make it sound like if you wear a diaper it's bad, or you tell a kid that wearing diapers is the most ridiculous thing, or pick on them, and that's what puts these negative connotations in their minds. if we can reverse this trend and tell kids that diapers are used by babies, but not necessarily everyone wearing are babies, and they can help you, and you reset their mindset a little, then they realize that a diaper is helpful, and not bad. When I started having problems at 46, including having accidents in my pants or in my chair, or even in my bed, I realized That I needed help and I ask the doctor for it, I also went to daily diapers, because, because I knew that there were people that were in my position and would understand exactly what they deal with. @Incont Understands exactly what people go through, and his community has been very very helpful to me and others. I knew that exactly where I needed to be, and I knew which several of the people by name because I had seen them before, and they have always been supportive. when I had the issues that I was dealing with, I knew that that's where I wanted to be, and I needed to be there, because I needed to understand what is going on or why I the way I did, and especially since they did have experience with incontinence. A diaper is a tool that is being used. In my case, the accidents were happening at such a frequency that I had no choice, and as stated above, things changed so fast, and I was basically spending more time in the bathroom than any time during the day, and most of that was when I was dealing with trying to sleep at night. I spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than in sleeping. my sleep was being interrupted, I wasn't very comfortable, and I know that there are people on daily diapers that could help me, and they help me to understand exactly what I was dealing with and why I was with it, and that it was OK. once I realized that it was OK, then I worked on trying to accept it, trying to deal with it in a way that makes sense, talking to people that have been very supportive, like a second family, and I'm so glad that I have this family, because some of the things that I've gone through people wouldn't understand, but people here do. The first or second time that I had a problem, I couldn't even move fast enough to get out of the chair! I would feel it about an eighth of a second before I was actually out of the chair, and I couldn't even get up or be able to put my hands on the arm rest of my recliner to be able to move towards the wheelchair, And I'd already messed my pants! when this kept happening, and I kept on losing sleep, I finally said " I've had enough, and it's time to do something, that's something was to join daily diapers, and I am here now, and I will continue to support both sites, because We are all a family regardless of why we are in diapers, we are all a family, and we deal with our incontinence in different ways, and hopefully My advice can be helpful here as well as over there" so as I say, stigma, I look you in the face and tell you too Go To Hell! Stigmas are made by others who may not understand why or how we can function the way we do or why we like something the way we do, and that is part of the problem. people judge us based on things that we have ingrained in our heads, and we need to be able to change the outlook of people who think diapers are bad. When you have incontinence, a diaper is like a savior, because it allows you to use your diaper and still move on with your life and live your life to the best possible way, although there are things that you may not be able to do as easily like swimming, but they're always good things about wearing diapers, because you don't have to worry if you have to release, You just have to be in a situation where you're around people that would expect you to release and not give you a bunch of grief overdoing it. if you have to release you have to release And that's that! @Zombie_Turtle Has it right: I say that because the most important thing is you need to be able to get on with your life! diapers are a normal part of my life, and several friends have said that they wished diapers were more normalized. I guess that is why there are some people like me who try to help people understand that it is normal to wear diapers, and I would rather wear a diaper for the rest of my life every night, if that is what it takes for me to feel confident for me to feel safe for me to feel like something makes sense to me, and it helps me to sleep! I don't know if I can even explain why it feels so good, but it's like having someone give you a wicked shot of something that removes pain, and let me tell you sometimes when you have to go to the bathroom, the pain is ridiculous, and can come on you like somebody snapping their fingers and pointing at your stomach, and then it's like Mount Saint Helens erupting, and then your diaper is your savior because it will catch it! because of me wearing diapers, I can now sleep all the way through the night, and when I talk to my doctor about it, I told him how much time I was spending in the bathroom every night, and he was concerned about my sleep habits! I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can, and as far as I can tell diapers are helping me to stay that way, and let's hope that diapers will continue to help me, because I don't wanna worry about it anymore, worrying about it causes more trouble than it's worth, you just have to be able to deal with it, and what I've learned is that the best thing to do is to remove as much stress as you can. Diapers not only help me with incontinence, but they help me with the stress and everything that I deal with in my life. people may laugh at me and say that that's ridiculous, but let me tell you having the diaper on kind of puts you in a position where you don't have to worry about it. You have your diaper on, and I always think of it this way: when you have to release, you are releasing all the stress and bad things that happen in your life in your diaper, which is designed to catch all of that, you change you clean up you throw it away, see you throw your stress away and you don't have to worry anymore, and every time you have that happen, your diapers ready. sometimes the stress gets out It gets out of your diaper into your cover, sometimes it leaks onto the floor, but you get rid of it and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I never realized how much diapers helped me to be able to lower my stress level, And that seems to also be something that I want to do. I'm sick of my heart rate being over 130 beats a minute or higher because of something stupid that I think of that has no bearing on anything and makes no sense. Diapers make sense to me, and I will continue to support those that need it. The most important thing is that is that a stigma is just that, a stigma! It is something that is put in our brains to make us think that diapers and things that are somehow revolting or somehow unfavorable in the world around us, So we think they're bad. stigmans are also used as a way to change someone's opinion, or have mold them and shape them into a possible belief that something is good or bad. I can understand peer pressure in the, and the fact that young kids young kids may not want to wear diapers, and be seen by their older friends, or the or the fact that they might be picked on if they wear diapers, but a stigma is just that It is a belief that is used to change our way of thinking, when the thing is a kid should be allowed to be a kid period two out of my four brothers had bedwetting problems throughout their lives, And one of them wore diapers until he was four and a half, and my other brother wore diapers until he was almost 3. our parents didn't get after them for it, but they were taught that it was OK that they wet their beds. They were also taught responsibility, And as they grew older, they were told if they wet their beds that wasn't a big problem, they just needed 2 bring their sheets downstairs and put them in the washer, and tell them that they wet their bed, and change it. No one got in trouble for that, but we found out, Mike and I for example, being the oldest what exactly was going on. they would want to get into bed with us, and we found out why. I had no objection, but I always would tell them that if they wet themselves, that is OK, but they're not getting into my bed for example unless they're dry! the point is is that you should be able to look a stigma right in the eye and put a whole right in the tire of that stigma! we need to be able to remove the stigmas and all the bad connotations of wearing diapers, and allow people to understand that diapers are not the worst thing in the world! if I were to ask one in 10 people on daily diapers if they would rather wear a diaper versus whether having a wet bed, probably all ten of them would tell me that they'd rather have a dry bed, and they might have 10 different ways of dealing with the situation. The most important thing is that the stigma should not put the child or anybody else in a position where they feel any less of an individual because they don't have any control. The idea of having someone be supportive is so that they can get over it. I have cerebral palsy for example, and there's nothing I can do to change that, And I'm always going to have it from the day I've been born until the day I'm dead, but I've learned how to deal with it so that it is not something that is detrimental to my health and my well being or my mental stability. diapers give me the support that I need, and now which is I can I will continue to help people give them support as much as they need, because I say diapers are not the problem, it's the People's public persona in their belief that diapers are bad that we need to change, And we also need to make it so that people understand that incontinence is not like a dragon that's going to burn your head off if you have it! you can control it, and even then, because you have to wear diapers, you can have fun with it, and that's why for example I wear different color diapers, because plain white ones get kind of boring, but I do understand the therapy where white ones Because that's the way they feel of it, which is fine. My main concern is that we need to allow people to say they're incontinent without feeling like somebody is going to stand them up like a nightclub and do a end up routine with them at night! remember regardless of what type of incontinence you have, you always have support, because without support, always a lot of a lot of the world around us would be something that you couldn't figure out, it would be like if the world itself was changed. I live in a world for example where you talk it might be people and they understand you, But what would happen if the world around you was like this, and then somebody decided to flip a switch, and so I'm watching unsolved mysteries for example, and everything Robert Stack says is backwards, and everything else someone says is forward and I can't understand it, and it's really weird. That's what I think some people think of incontinence, it's like being in a show called close encounters of the third kind, people are not aliens They're just people that have an issue, and people need to be understanding, even if they don't understand it, and that is why we need to teach people that incontinence is not bad, it's just how you deal with it That's important. But regardless of what you do to do that, you need to be understanding and supportive. Brian

@zzyzx I think the way people view incontinence or fecal incontinence specifically is basically determinant on what the situation is, or what someone's feelings are regarding the situation. Most people would think " my goodness this is terrible, I need to be able to get some help, and other things like that" I know from experience that some people think incontinence is the worst thing that can possibly happen to them, but I have helped young children actually accept the fact that wearing diapers is not a big deal because you may not be able to control it, and your bladder may not be as big as others, so you might not be able to control it or have the control to hold. Some of my friends have fecal incontinence as well, and that can also devastating to anyone who is trying to deal with it, who can't understand why for some reason they don't have the control. Because I have a disability myself, diapers are a tool that can be used, but sometimes the stigmas are associated with incontinence can make people feel inadequate like they should have known better or they had something to do with it, when it's not something they can control. Diapers are simply a tool that can be used as a way to handle incontinence. there are other ways too, but in my case, I didn't want to deal with having to go to a urologist, because I do have a neurologic condition, having cerebral palsy, and everybody knows about cerebral palsy and what can happen, and that there are many subconditions that can be exacerbated by having cerebral palsy. I told the doctor and no one certain terms that I his judgment, And I believe that he had enough information to make the proper diagnosis, so that I could wear diapers, and there would be no question, because technically, life goes by so quickly, and sometimes you have to take it as it comes, and sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to deal with incontinence. the way someone deals with incontinence, or the way someone feels about incontinence can also help the person who has incontinence to be able to deal with it. Someone who is somehow turned off by incontinence, or think it's bad, or Thinks of you in a negative connotation because of your incontinence, this can be a negative draw. They make you feel uncomfortable or they may make you feel as if you should know better, but we all know that incontinence is something that some people may not have a choice about, May not have any control over, So having a negative influence over incontinence is not uncommon, but it's amazing how many people use stigmas and old beliefs that we were taught as kids that diapers were disgusting or terrible and only for babies, when we know darn well that that isn't true! When you have a supportive bunch of people, who love you regardless of what happens, that is one of the positives of having a good support system. many people may not have good support systems, so they have to come to places like this to be able to get advice about how to handle it. how a person responds to someone who comes to them and said they're dealing with incontinence, and they might have to wear diapers or they might decide to wear diapers or they might wear diapers anyway, And if they have a good support system and an understanding bunch of friends or family members, it's a lot easier to deal with, and it's not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. Incontinence, it is very easy to think of the negative, it is quite hard in some cases to turn a negative into a positive, But in my case a negative was a positive, because I'm dealing with a negative of the incontinence, And I'm also dealing with the positive of being able to deal with the feelings that I've been dealing with ever since I was eight years old. If you have a supportive family member or a lot of good friends, they would look at it as no big deal, and they would simply help you and they would support you all the way, but if you have someone in the negative that can put a damper on it. The idea to be supportive is always a good one: I don't care whether a person is urinarily incontinent or fecally incontinent or both. They are incontinent, and they need to have the support and loving care of people who they trust. trust is the main thing that everyone needs to have, if you can't trust people, then you can't deal with it effectively. Incontinence can be treated with Medicines or other interventions, but the most important thing is that you need to be supportive loving understanding and supportive. if you are dealing with it this way, then the person that is dealing with incontinence has a good shot of understanding that incontinence is not their fault, and they should not have to worry how other people respond to them having the issue. if you know how to handle incontinence after you learn, you learn that it isn't that big of a deal, and you have strategies to be able to deal with it. if your friends and family support you, to them it's no big deal and it's part of life, and they would easily understand and they wouldn't want to put you down or make you feel bad, it just happens. for example my cerebral palsy was caused by something to have to do with not having Enough oxygen when I was born. Because of this, I ended up getting cerebral palsy, which was not my fault, not my parents fault, or anything like that, it was just something that we dealt with. my brother also was disabled, and my mom dealt with that as well, including dealing with changing my brother every day, And it was normal for us to do this. My parents were not the type of people who would get after me if I had an accident, or any of my other family members, because they knew that we had disabled people in the family and we dealt with our disabilities the best we could. I was very very lucky in life that I had a grandmother, mother and father who were very supportive, And my grandmother has dealt with her daughter Disability and her brothers and sisters were always there. She died at 53 in 2017, but she always was the kind of person who would roll with the punches regardless of what happened, and was loving and caring and everything else, and always and always had a really good handle on things. People have to realize that having incontinence is not their fault. It could be caused by medical condition, it could be caused by an injury, it could be caused because something is not right in the body, but regardless of how it is caused, there are many ways to deal with it, and I know that it can be inconvenient for many, And I've had it happen to me very inconveniently a couple of times, But when you live with incontinence you have you have to understand that it is there, and you have to look it in the eye, and you have to say I have you under control! The way the public views incontinence will base any response. People who are in the medical profession are probably seen it many times, dealt with it many times, and may have been either a CNA or an LNA or maybe an RN, and have had to deal with patient care, which includes dealing with changing briefs or dealing with incontinence. those people that do it, they understand that a person is incontinent and they don't even bat an eyelash, and their professional and empathetic to people's conditions. There are so many people in the world that deal with incontinence It's probably not even funny, and probably not even quantifiable, But the thing is people that deal with it every day understand it, while other people may just think incontinence is something that is disgusting, or something that somebody deals with that unpleasant. of course incontinence can be unprecedented especially the fecal end of it, but as long as you have control of it, and you know how to handle it, you don't freak out when you have an accident, but you may end up thinking to yourself darn I had an accident at this location, and it was embarrassing, but I have to take care of it! the point is that incontinence is part of your life, whether it be urinary or Fecal. if you have acute incontinence, or moderate incontinence, then you use appropriate measures to deal with it, maybe the pull ups maybe the cloth underwear underwear whatever that they sell, If you have moderate or severe incontinence, you may have to pull up the heavy duty diapers ones that are based on you're dealing with. you don't want to be dealing with severe incontinence with something that is based to be used with small bouts of incontinence. you have to use the right tools, and sometimes the tools you use may have to change depending on the severity. Regardless of what you use to take care of the situation, whether you use medicine, whether you use preventative tools, or whether you accept it and do whatever you do, acceptance is one of the first things that you have to do. once you accept it, then you can move on with it, but it is not the end of the world as I keep telling people: tell me if you have a problem and you don't try to deal with it, the problem will still be there, what you need to do is be able to take it by the torns and say this is a problem, and I'm gonna take care of it, and it may be scary Or inconvenient, but Incontinence is a fact of life, and it can be very degrading to some people, because they might think that they have or had the control, and they're slowly losing it, and that is unfortunate, but there are plenty of tools to be able to deal with it. some people can't even control it, so they end up having to deal with it in different ways, but I am surprised because there are so many people that will just say no big deal Let's take it on and move on! if you have that type of an attitude, then you should be able to deal with it, you just need to have the right support system, and the right tools to be able to deal with it. once you have that, dealing with incontinence is easy to deal with, it's just about as easy as changing a diaper. Brian

I dislike diapers with tape landing zones😟 for the reasons discussed above. Landing zones require the tapes to be where they limit our ability to position them optimally for our personal shapes. For example, try MegaMax and then try MegaMax Air, the breathable version of the diaper without a tape landing zone. I can position the tapes optimally on the MegaMax Air and have fewer leaks than with the MegaMax with the landing zone.